Friday, November 4, 2016 – Edition: #5844

Wow, You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ “Glamour” magazine’s new ‘Women Of the Year’ list of inspiring females includes singer Gwen Stefani, gymnast Simone Biles, model Ashley Graham, the founders of the Black Lives Matter movement, and … Bono. For the first time in 27 years the magazine has named a ‘Man Of the Year’ because not doing so would be an “outdated way of looking at things”, says the editor-in-chief. Bono is cited for decades of work toward equality, including his Poverty is Sexist campaign. (He says he’s “grateful”, but plenty of women are peeved with this idea.)
– “The Independent”
★ Universal Music Publishing Group has landed Prince’s entire song catalogue. The worldwide publishing deal comes after negotiations with members of the late music icon’s family and his estate administrators. Before his death, Prince and his staff managed his catalogue. Terms of the new deal have not been disclosed, but a Universal rep promises Prince’s popularity will only continue to grow around-the-world. (BS translation: We’ll soon be hearing his tunes in ads.)
★ Gwyneth Paltrow has launched her first fragrance, which she claims is free of artificial ingredients and has ‘healing properties’. The actress and Goop website founder already has her own line of makeup and skincare products. The new ‘Edition 01’ fragrance and candle is the first in a series of scents inspired by the four seasons, with this one being Winter. The scent is described as a smoky layered mix of cypress, frankincense, labdanum, vanilla, clove leaf, juniper, and styrax tree bark. (Delicious on a gluten-free cracker.)
★ And China’s wealthiest man is calling Nicole Kidman his ‘muse’. 62-year-old developer Wang Jianlin, worth $32.6 billion, is buying up Hollywood entertainment properties, including theme parks, digital marketing companies, and the AMC movie theater chain. He’s currently in negotiations to buy Dick Clark Productions (“Golden Globe Awards”) for $1 billion. He says Kidman has a special place in his heart. Quote: “When I was young, I adored her. She’s very beautiful, and she’s also a big name here in China.” (Um, when he was ‘young’, she was like 9-years-old.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”

• “The Crown” (Netflix) – Today the release of an epic new series that tells the story of Queen Elizabeth as she ascends to the British throne unexpectedly as a young woman. Claire Foy plays Elizabeth, Matt Smith portrays Prince Philip, and John Lithgow is Winston Churchill.
• “Dana Carvey: Straight White Male, 60” (Netflix) – Today the debut of a new standup special filmed in Boston MA featuring “Saturday Night Live” alumnus Dana Carvey, who is actually 61.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Timberlake (“Trolls”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Banks & Steelz (“Anything But Words”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight Nothing But Thieves (“Itch”). Rerun.
• “MTV Europe Music Awards” (MTV) – Sunday the 23rd annual honors are handed out in Rotterdam, Netherlands. Beyoncé and Justin Bieber lead nominations with 5 each. Categories include ‘Best Live’, ‘Best New’, ‘Best Pop’, ‘Best Rock’, and ‘Biggest Fans. Winners in each category are chosen via fan-voting.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Benedict Cumberbatch (“Doctor Strange”); musical guest Solange Knowles (“A Seat At the Table”).
• Soul Train Awards (Las Vegas NV) – Sunday Erykah Badu hosts the annual honors at the Orleans Arena. Drake leads nominations with 12. Singer/songwriter/producer Teddy Riley is presented the ‘Legend Award’. Brandy receives the ‘Lady of Soul Award’. A recorded version airs on BET Sunday, November 27th.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Alicia Keys (“Here”, her first new recording in 4 years, out today).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Common (“Black America Again”, out today).

• The Chainsmokers – They release a new EP entitled “Collage” today. It includes their #1 hit “Closer” f/Halsey among its 5 tracks.
• Eagles of Death Metal – Actor/filmmaker Colin Hanks is directing a documentary that chronicles the events leading up to and following the band’s gig at the Bataclan theater in Paris, where terrorists opened fire on fans last year. The documentary debuts on HBO in February.
• Pharrell Williams – He’s the chair of “Complex” magazine’s 1st-ever pop culture festival being held Saturday-Sunday in Long Beach CA.. “ComplexCon” is a 2-day event focused on pop culture, art, music, style, and sports.
• Rush – Their recent “R40” final tour gets a send-off in the new documentary “Rush: Time Stand Still”. The film follows the 40-city tour undertaken by Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart while dealing with Peart’s health issues. It’s narrated by actor and Rush fan Paul Rudd.
• Slipknot – Saturday-Sunday is “Knotfest Japan 2016”, when the hard rockers headline 2 consecutive nights at Makuhari Messe in Tokyo.
• Temple Of the Dog – The supergroup founded to honor the late Andrew Wood of Mother Love Bone is touring for the first time. The band is made up of Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell & Matt Cameron alongside Stone Gossard, Jeff Ament, and Mike McCready of Pearl Jam. The 5 -show trek begins tonight in Philadelphia PA, then hits NYC, San Francisco CA, LA, and Seattle WA.

• “Doctor Strange” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): If superhero movie fatigue has already set it, this might be the one that will get audiences back on track with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Benedict Cumberbatch stars in the title role, with an appealing ensemble supporting cast that includes Rachel McAdams, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mads Mikkelsen, and Tilda Swinton.
• “Hacksaw Ridge” ( R-Rated War Drama ): Directed by Mel Gibson, who hasn’t helmed a film since “Apocalypto” (2006). This is the true-life saga about a conscientious objector who serves as a medic and saves 75 lives in the Battle of Okinawa during WW2. Andrew Garfield stars as real-life US Medal of Honor winner Desmond T Doss.
• “Trolls” ( PG Animated Family Adventure ): Mike Mitchell (“Shrek Ever After”) co-directs this quest story that determines the fate of ‘Troll Town’. Working against type, Justin Timberlake voices the lead role, playing a grumpy troll survivalist. Anna Kendrick’s troll princess provides an upbeat giddiness that contrasts with the sarcasm of Timberlake’s character.
• Opening in limited release: “The Eagle Huntress” (Documentary); “Loving” (Drama); and “Peter & The Farm” (Documentary).

• The oldest-ever dog lived to 29. So every dog that was alive when you were born now isn’t.
• The entire “Back To the Future” film trilogy now takes place in the past.
• You are 6 years older than ‘Monica’ and ‘Rachel’ were meant to be at the start of “Friends”.
• Kids that started high school this year were born after the invention of Facebook.
• At 36, “Home Alone” star Macaulay Culkin is now the age Catherine O’Hara was … when she played his mom.
• “Game of Thrones” star Sophie Turner was born the year Spice Girls released “Wannabe”.
• Even the youngest Hanson brother is now older than you.
• You were born closer to the Moon landing than to the invention of the Nintendo Wii.
• Also closer to JFK’s presidency than to whoever wins next week.
• And finally, we are currently as close to the year 2046 as we are to the year you were born.
– Adapted from

From wigs to weaves to hair extensions, the market for human hair is enormous. But few of us know where these locks originate. Here’s from where the hair hails …
• Online retailers tout ‘luxury’ hair from Brazil, India, Mongolia, and Peru.
• Rarely will you see hair from China advertised … even though that’s where most of it comes from. It’s the biggest exporter of hair and harvests huge amounts from its own population.
• European hair is the most valuable, partly because of its fine textures, the variety of its colors, and because it is in shorter supply. Most of this hair comes from countries in Eastern Europe.
• At the top end of the market is ‘virgin’ hair, which has never been chemically treated; and ‘remy’ hair, which has been cut or shaved directly from a donor.
• At the opposite end of the scale is ‘standard hair’, a more marketable term for comb waste. Yes, many sleek and shiny hair extensions start life as hairballs from combs and drains.
(Mmm, please let me nuzzle your tresses.)
– “News Magazine”

A new ranking based on total earnings over the past year …
1. Taylor Swift ($170 million)
2. Adele ($80.5 million)
3. Madonna ($76.5 million)
4. Rihanna ($75 million)
5. Beyoncé ($54 million)
6. Katy Perry ($41 million)
7. Jennifer Lopez ($39.5 million)
8. Britney Spears ($30.5 million)
9. Shania Twain ($27.5 million)
10. Céline Dion ($27 million)

An Exeter City supporter in Britain has bet £10 on his club to win by exactly 4-1 in every game they have played since April 2008. Overall, he believes he is about £600 up.
– BBC News


1947 [69] Ivonne Coll, Fajardo, Puerto Rico, TV actress (‘Alba Villanueva’ on “Jane the Virgin” since 2014)

1960 [56] Kathy Griffin, Oak Park IL, standup comedian/TV personality (“Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List” 2005-10)

1961 [55] Jeff Probst, Wichita KS, TV reality show host (“Survivor” since 2000)

1969 [47] Matthew McConaughey, Uvalde TX, movie actor (“Dallas Buyers Club”)/TV actor (“True Detectives” 2013)

1969 [47] Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, Harlem NY, hip-hop artist (“Shake Ya Tailfeather”)/recording mogul (Bad Boy Records)/fashion designer (Sean John)/entrepreneur (Ciroc Vodka)

1975 [41] Curtis Stone, Melbourne, Australia, celebrity chef/TV personality (“My Kitchen Rules”, “Top Chef Masters”)

TV personality/’momager’ Kris Jenner (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) is 61; Oldies singer Bryan Adams (“I Do It For You”) is 57; Movie actress Tilda Swinton (“Grand Budapest Hotel”) is 56; Rock musician Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead) is 45; Singer-guitarist Ryan Adams (“Bad Blood”) is 42; TV actor Luke Hemsworth (“Westworld”) is 36.

Movie actress Sally Field (“Amazing Spider-Man”) is 70; Movie actor Ethan Hawke (“The Magnificent Seven”) is 46; TV actress Zoe McLellan (“NCIS: New Orleans”) is 42; TV actress Patina Miller (“Madam Secretary”) is 32; Movie actress Emma Stone (“La La Land”) is 28.

• “Candy Day”, for some unknown reason. Maybe a day to try to figure out what to do with all the leftover Halloween candy before your entire family’s teeth are ruined?
• “Love Your Lawyer Day”, created in 2001 as a day free of lawyer bashing and lawyer jokes. While lawyers may have a bad reputation, the good they do id often forgotten.
• “Use Your Common Sense Day”, promoting the idea of making use of the knowledge and experience which we all allegedly have.

• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752 (also celebrated in New Zealand and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador). It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings.
• “Love Your Red Hair Day”, a day to celebrate the beauty of those gorgeous red tresses. Today gingers should feel confident, look amazing, and rock their beauty. You’re encouraged to celebrate your red hair by posting photos on social media using #LoveYourRedHairDay.
• “Sausage & Kraut Day”, an annual food celebration on the 1st Saturday of November. What should go on top? No, not ketchup … hot mustard!

• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America officially ends at 2 am. Remember: Spring forward, Fall back, so set your clock back an hour. (Hey, it’s a long weekend!)
• “Halfway Point of Autumn”, with 45 days elapsed and 45 more remaining until the Winter Solstice on December 21st. (Or 33 more leaf rakings.)
• “International Day for Preventing the Exploitation Of the Environment in War & Armed Conflict”, a UN observance since 2001. (Kill people, not flowers!)
• “New York City Marathon”, one of the world’s most prestigious races, run on the 1st Sunday of November. The first annual NYC Marathon was held in 1970.
• “Saxophone Day”, commemorating the 1814 birth of Belgium’s Adolphe Sax, inventor of the musical instrument named for him. Sax became wealthy inventing numerous musical instruments, but died in poverty in Paris in 1894.
• “Zero Tasking Day”, always the same day that Daylight Saving Time ends, a day to do absolutely squat with the extra 60 minutes you put on the clock because the real gift for this day is not feeling like you have to do something worthwhile with that ‘extra hour’.

2001 [15] “The West Wing” takes 8 honors at the “Emmy Awards” including ‘Best Drama Series’; HBO’s “Sex & The City” wins ‘Best Comedy Series’

2008 [08] Barack Obama is elected 44th president of the United States

2010 [06] Oldest stone axe ever discovered is dated at 35,500-years-old (found in Australia’s Northern Territory in the lands of the Jawoyn people)

[Mon] Fill Our Staplers Day
[Mon] International Merlot Day
[Tues] US Election Day
[Tues] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
This Week Is … Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month


✓ Crochet a drink warmer for your pumpkin spice latte because even inanimate objects deserve the attention to detail you so desperately crave and self-medicate for.
✓ Hot-glue fallen leaves and other autumn detritus onto an otherwise boring seasonal wreath. Leave off pine cones and assorted nuts so squirrels don’t violently rip it to shreds again.
✓ Drink hot rum out of a mason jar while swathed in a Hudson Bay blanket and start a bonfire using J Crew catalogues. Sacrifice your favorite plaid scarf to ensure more Instagram followers.
✓ Make mulled wine in your bathtub because no other vessel is large enough.
✓ Arrange your prescription bottles in a woven cornucopia to truly celebrate the emotional bounty of the season.
✓ Make an autumnal bouquet out of flowers from your surrounding neighbors’ property. Admit nothing.
✓ Arrange wine corks in a pumpkin shape and add felt leaves and a sprig of twine to the stem. Admire the tangibility of your alcoholism.
– Thanks to Sarah Solomon

I’ve finally figured out why you always have that stupid grin on your face … you’re stupid!

At the online ‘Fake Name Generator’ you can generate a random name … as well as a full identity from phone number to credit card.

☎ At a movie theater (or in an airplane) which arm rest is yours?

Question: More than half of women polled think a guy who has THIS skill is sexy.
Answer: Cooking.

It is better to wear out then rust out.

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