Thursday, November 5, 2015        Edition: #5365

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

★ Today filmmaker Ridley Scott, one of Hollywood’s most prolific directors who is responsible for so many of Hollywood’s iconic films, is being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Among the actors he’s directed who are saluting him at the ceremony unveiling the famous walkway’s 2,564th star: Russell Crowe (“Gladiator”); and Kristen Wiig (“The Martian”). Other famous Scott films from over the years include “Alien”, “Black Hawk Down”, “Blade Runner”, and “Prometheus”.
– “Los Angeles Times”
★ Just as the new ‘James Bond’ movie “Spectre” hits screens, fans of the ‘007’ franchise can get their hands on a timely memorabilia piece. The stainless steel Rolex Submariner 5513 from 1973’s “Live & Let Die” is one of 203 lots at the Phillips Geneva Watch Auction which begins today in Switzerland. In the film, the watch was fitted with a magnet used to unzip the dress of ‘Bond girl’ Madeline Smith; and ‘Bond’ also used its buzzsaw attachment to cut through a rope. The timepiece, signed ‘Roger Moore 007’, is expected to fetch at least $150,000.
★ Reality-TV star Kendall Jenner has been booked for the annual “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” according to reports. Just days after Gigi Hadid learned she’d be living out her dream of becoming an angel, it now appears there will be another young shooting star on the catwalk. The show tapes later this month for broadcast in December. Meanwhile, Rihanna has pulled out of modeling at the event and her spot will be filled by Ellie Goulding. The Weeknd and Selena Gomez have been lined up to sing among the models.
– E! News
★ And believe-it-or-not someone’s making the routine household chore of tidying up into a TV show. Decluttering expert Marie Kondo is a “New York Times” best-selling author, one of “TIME” magazine’s ‘Most Influential People’, and the woman who convinced you that talking to your socks was a good idea. And now her book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”, is getting the book-to-pilot treatment by NBC-TV. But it’s not a ‘how to’ type of show, it’s being developed as … a scripted comedy series.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Alabama Shakes (“Sound & Color”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Greyson Chance “(Somewhere Over My Head”, coming in 2016).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Lightning Bolt (“Fantasy Empire”); Metz (“II”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – The Charlatans (“Modern Nature”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Shamir (“In For the Kill”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Harry Connick Jr (“That Would Be Me”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Harry Connick Jr again; Stanley Jordan (“Duets”).

• Brantley Gilbert – He’s gone Platinum again, this time for “Just As I Am”. Gilbert also went Platinum with his previous album, “Halfway to Heaven”.
• Demi Lovato – Her production team is denying allegations that they sampled pop music duo Sleigh Bells’ songs “Infinity Guitars” and “Riot Rhythm” for her new track “Stars”. On Twitter this week the duo has said they’re “flattered” but “were not contacted” about the alleged sampling.
• Foo Fighters – Tonight they kick off a European tour that’s set to begin in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. .
• Good Charlotte – They’ve announced plans for a comeback after an almost 5-year hiatus. The “Lifestyles Of the Rich & Famous” hitmakers, fronted by twins Benji & Joel Madden, decided to part ways in 2011 to take a break from their hectic schedules.
• Lil Wayne – Assets from his Miami Beach FL mansion have been seized as part of a legal battle over unpaid private jet fees. Leasing company Signature Group claims he’s yet to pay any bills during the first 2 years of his 3-year deal. Weezy says he never signed a contract.
• Rolling Stones – The dinosaur rockers will perform in Mexico City next year as part of a planned Latin American tour. The news has been confirmed by a Mexican promoter in a radio interview this week.
• The Weeknd – He leads all nominees so far for the “People’s Choice Awards” after picking up 5 nominations this week. The 2016 “PCAs” will air live from LA’s Microsoft Theatre on January 6th.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Bachelors” – In this upcoming dramedy, Oscar-winning “Whiplash” actor JK Simmons plays a recently widowed dad who moves to a new city with his 17-year-old son. There, they both start up new romances and begin to bond when those relationships are tested. Shooting on “The Bachelors” is planned for Spring 2016 in Los Angeles.
• “Blazing Samurai” – “Lion King” director Rob Minkoff is producing an animated feature film inspired by Mel Brooks’ 1974 comedy classic “Blazing Saddles”. George Takei, Michael Cera, Samuel L Jackson, and former Spice Girl Mel B have already joined the voice cast. They story centers on ‘Hank’, a dog who dreams of becoming a great warrior and saving his town from becoming the litter box of a nefarious feline warlord. The film is due in August 2017.
• “Castle Hangnail” – Ellen DeGeneres is developing this kids’ fantasy book for the bigscreen in cooperation with Disney. The children’s book is by Ursula Vernon, who has previously won awards for her web comics. The book tells of a 12-year-old witch who shows up at a castle that’s in need of a new master. The story was published by Dial Books in April.
• “Live By Night” – Singer Miguel is set to make his bigscreen debut in this new Ben Affleck film. The “Argo” filmmaker is adapting author Dennis Lehane’s Prohibition-era crime novel of the same name into a feature film, and will also star, direct, and produce the project. Affleck will play the son of a police captain who gets involved in a life of organized crime.
• “Six Billion Dollar Man” – The classic 1974-78 TV series “The Six Million Dollar Man” is being remade for the bigscreen in a 21st century version, with a price tag adjusted for inflation as well. Mark Wahlberg is set to star as a bionically re-engineered human when shooting begins in September 2016. The movie already has a release date: December 22, 2017.

• Human Mannequin – You’re expected to stay completely still for hours on end, sustaining a consistent facial expression. It’s a position ill-suited for the antsy and easily bored, but it can pay up to $100-an-hour.
• Professional Sleeper – Making money in your sleep sounds like the ultimate pipe dream, but people are hired to sleep for scientific studies or to review the quality of hotel room beds. Finally, a profession where pajamas are the suggested dress code!
• Sex Toy Tester – Sex toy companies regularly ship toys to testers’ homes for them to sample and review. Aroused analyzers provide reviews to companies or blog about the products that speak to their predilections. Mixing business with pleasure is a must with this gig.
• Human Bed Warmer – In 2010, the Holiday Inn in Kensington, London began offering a complimentary 5-minute ‘human bed warming’ service, whereby staffers equipped with thermometers and clad in fleece suits bundle up in bed until the temp hits a comfy 68 degrees.
• Cannabis Critic – With the legalization of marijuana on the rise in many US states, local newspapers are employing cannabis critics to review different strains of weed. It’s the perfect job for any stoner who likes to write.

What is the most embarrassing product to ask for in a store? According to one poll, the top 5 are …
1. Adult Diapers
2. Condoms
3. Hemorrhoid Products
4. Yeast Infection Medication
5. Tampons

Researchers at Penn State University say that all types of music seems to improve moods. In an experiment students were asked to keep diaries of their listening habits for 2 weeks, noting the time spent listening to music, the type of music, their activities while listening, and how they felt before and after. The results – when students were already feeling positive, music listening increased the intensity of these feelings. When they were pessimistic or angry, the negative mood decreased during music listening. The outcomes were consistent no matter what type of music was preferred, whether it be classical, country, pop, or even heavy metal. (Well, except for smooth jazz, which seems to cause a lot of speaker damage from ax attacks.)
– PA News

Polar bears eat dolphins … and freeze the leftovers.
– “International Business Times”


1955 [60] Kris Jenner, San Diego CA, momager/TV personality (“Keeping Up with the Kardashians”)

1959 [56] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, pop-rock singer-guitarist (“[Everything I Do] I Do It For You”, “Cuts Like a Knife”)/professional photographer (“Exposed”)

1960 [55] Tilda Swinton, London UK, movie actress (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Michael Clayton”)

1971 [44] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock guitarist-keyboardist (Radiohead-“There There”, “Creep”)

1974 [41] Ryan Adams, Jacksonville NC, alt-country/rock singer-songwriter-guitarist (“Bad Blood”, “Lucky Now”)/wed to singer-actress Mandy Moore (2009-15)

1987 [28] Kevin Jonas, Teaneck NJ, former boy-band singer (Jonas Brothers-“Tonight”, “Burnin’ Up”)

• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752 (also celebrated in New Zealand and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador). It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname … ‘Bonfire Night’.

• “Love Your Red Hair Day”, a day to celebrate the beauty of those gorgeous red tresses. Today gingers should feel confident, look amazing, and rock their beauty. You’re encouraged to celebrate your red hair by posting photos on social media using #LoveYourRedHairDay.
Famous redheads include musicians Ed Sheeran, Florence Welch (Florence + the Machine), Hayley Williams (Paramore), and Josh Homme (Queens Of the Stone Age); actresses Christina Hendricks, Emma Stone, Julianne Moore; actors Benedict Cumberbatch, Damien Lewis, Eddie Redmayne (appropriate name or what?); and, of course, Prince Harry.

• “Men Make Dinner Day”, annually on the 1st Thursday of November. It’s intended to be the one guaranteed meal cooked by the man-of-the-house each year. Sure millions of guys make dinner for their families on a regular basis, but this day is for the last remaining neanderthal homes where they don’t … and for guys who are just too scared to cook.

2007 [08] TV, film, and radio writers who are members of the Writers Guild of America go on strike after negotiations break down with the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers (shuts down more than 60 TV programs, including all the late-night talk shows)

2005 [10] Beach Boys singer Mike Love sues former leader Brian Wilson for using his likeness and the band trademark in his promotion of the “SMiLE” project, a reconstructed release of the band’s legendary ‘lost’ 1967 album

2011 [04] A decayed tooth that once belonged to late Beatles legend John Lennon sells at auction for over $31,000

2007 [08] Android mobile operating system is unveiled by Google

2013 [02] India launches the Mars Orbiter Mission, its 1st interplanetary probe (the $75-million budget is far less than Brian de Palma’s $90-million 2000 movie “Mission to Mars”)

2014 [01] A Van Gogh painting, “Still Life, Vase with Daisies, and Poppies”, sells for $61.8 million, exceeding its estimated worth of $50 million

[Fri] “The Peanuts Movie”; “Spectre” open in movie theaters
[Fri] International Day for Preventing the Exploitation Of the Environment in War & Armed Conflict
[Fri] Saxophone Day
[Sat] Pumpkin Destruction Day
[Sat] Sausage & Kraut Day
[Sun] Parents as Teachers Day
This Week Is … Drowsy Driving Prevention Week
This Month Is … Peanut Butter Lovers Month


✓ Everyone talks at the same time. All the time.
✓ The baby has seen “Star Wars”. 23 times.
✓ The youngest always has to wait around at ballet, swimming, or football.
✓ At least once-a-day you hear: “Wow, you have 3 kids? That must be so hard.”
✓ You food bill is astronomical. How do they eat so much?
✓ You never, ever get enough sleep. Not even close.
✓ There’s laundry everywhere. Clean and dirty, huge piles of it. It’s never ironed and put away.
✓ You’ve traded in your sporty vehicle for a boring mini-van you affectionately call ‘The Beast’.
✓ It’s impossible to fit 3 car seats in a row so one adult always has to sit in the back.
✓ You thought it was something only grandma did but you’ve already started mixing up your kids’ names.
✓ Going on vacation with your parents seems really appealing for the first time since you were a kid.
– Adapted from

This month is “National Drum Month”, a good excuse to make fun of the least-respected of all musicians with a few of our fave drummer jokes …
• How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door? [The knocking speeds up. Then he doesn’t know when to come in.]
• How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
• What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
• What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?”]
• What’s the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? [A podiatrist bucks up your feet.]
• And the all-time classic: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]

☎ Where would you never want to be when the power goes out?

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.

Question: 8% of surveyed men admit to doing THIS with their underwear.
Answer: Ironing it.

When the going gets tough … lay down and rest.

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