November 18 2019

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Monday, November 18, 2019 – Edition: #6575

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ A full-on crossover between “Hawaii Five-0” and “Magnum P.I.” is officially happening. Though this merging of the two Aloha State-based procedurals didn’t come to fruition during Magnum’s freshman run, as initially hoped, showrunner Peter Lenkov says that over the summer, he resolved to make it happen this TV season. Now, he says: “We have narrowed down a story.” The mash-up will be aired on Friday, Jan. 3, 2020 in back-to-back episodes.
★ After an outcry from “The Simpsons” aficionados, Disney has decided to offer classic episodes of the iconic animated sitcom on Disney Plus in their original 4-by-3 aspect ratio early next year. The streaming service launched Nov. 12th with the full batch of “Simpsons” episodes in 16-by-9 HD format, which cropped out key details from older episodes — and angered many fans. The problem with cropping older “Simpsons” eps in 16:9 format was that it literally destroyed some of the show’s jokes.
★ British actor Clive Owen is stepping into the shoes of former U.S. President Bill Clinton for the third season of “American Crime Story”. “Impeachment: American Crime Story” will delve into the scandal that marred the 42nd president’s time in office, following his affair with intern Monica Lewinsky, which led to his impeachment in 1998. The casting of his wife and fellow politician, Hillary Clinton, has yet to be announced. The series, which will be co-produced by Lewinsky, is scheduled to debut a month before the 2020 elections.
★ Ashton Kutcher has been using to communicate with his fans, but he recently took the interactions to another level. Kutcher provided new shoes to a Texan cross-country team. One of the athletes was injured while running in everyday shoes, so his mother decided to contact Kutcher, indicating that as a single mother of three, she couldn’t afford them herself. She says she didn’t expect to even receive a response, but she received a message days later telling her to send over a list of what was needed. With the entire team outfitted in new shoes courtesy of Kutcher, they won the regional meet and came in third place at state.
★ Nicolas Cage is in talks to play himself in a new movie. He’s set to star in “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent”, which will see him portray a fictional version of himself as he struggles to land a role in Quentin Tarantino’s latest film. It will portray Cage speaking to an ”egotistical 1990s version of himself who rides him for making too many crappy movies and for not being a star anymore”. The movie will also see the fictional version of Cage deal with a strained relationship with his teenage daughter. (It’s probably more likely that it will feature Cage “shouting” to a 1990s version of himself!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Martin Scorsese, Jharrel Jerome, the Black Keys
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth Meyers, Cobie Smulders, Tones and I
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Adam Driver, Adrienne Warren, the 1975
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sienna Miller, Matthew Rhys, Jacqueline Woodson, Jon Theodore
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Helen Hunt, Dave East
• “Conan” (TBS): Nicole Byer
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Celine Dion
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Helena Bonham Carter
• “The Talk” (CBS): Donny Osmond
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Chrissy Metz, Mat Franco
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chadwick Boseman, Cold War Kids
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Bruno Mars, Dr. Phil McGraw, Lacey Chabert
• “Blind Date” (BRAVO): Reboot of the dating series that first launched in 1999.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): Semi-Finals
• “The Voice” (NBC): The top 13 artists perform live in front of coaches Kelly Clarkson, John Legend, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani for America’s vote.

• Camila Cabello – got her first tattoo last week. The ink, on her pinky finger, reads: “It’s a mystery.” That’s a quote from the 1998 Gwyneth Paltrow movie “Shakespeare in Love”. She say’s it’s also a tribute to her Mom, Sinuhe Estrabao.
• Taylor Swift – Her ongoing feud with her old boss at ‘Big Machine Records’ has escalated. After her public plea to fans to make sure Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun “know how you feel” about her claim that she legally cannot perform a medley of old songs at the American Music Awards, someone sent a death threat to Big Machine and to the office of Scooter Braun, who bought the company.
• Black Eyed Peas — is calling out a Quantas flight attendant he alleges is “racist” after an in-flight altercation resulted in his being greeted by police when his flight landed in Australia. He tweeted that he didn’t put away his laptop when instructed, because he was wearing noise-canceling headphones and didn’t hear the request. The airline denies the flight attendant’s actions had anything do with skin color.
• Alanis Morissette – will be the 2019 Icon Award recipient at Billboard’s 14th annual Women in Music event Dec. 12. She’ll be honored for her continuing contribution to the music industry over a career spanning decades with 21 million albums sold to date. Nicki Minaj will take home the Game Changer award after becoming the first woman to notch 100 appearances on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
• Elton John — refuses to play ‘Candle in the Wind’ (his tribute to Princess Diana) in front of Prince William and Prince Harry. He and his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin updated the 1973 song in 1997 after the Princess’s death, and he says that the only time her sons have ever heard him play it live was at Diana’s funeral.
• Mötley Crüe — As rumors of a 2020 reunion tour continue to intensify, the band’s Twitter account stoked the embers a bit, sharing a reunion petition and declaring it “interesting.” The band has not performed together since Dec. 31, 2015, and signed a “cessation of touring” agreement prior to embarking on their farewell trek.
• Miranda Lambert — wants to show off more of her talents than just the concert stage. She told ABC that she would like to write for a Broadway musical. And she’d also like to be in a movie, especially if it was an animated film that she got to voice behind the scenes, as she put it: “Maybe a little redneck fish in Nemo or something.”
• Brandi Carlile – will receive the Trailblazer award at Billboard’s 14th annual Women in Music event. The ceremony takes place Dec. 12 in L.A. It will be streamed live on YouTube.

Men might THINK they are in charge of things at home, but it seems there is one thing that they actually DO have control over. A study published last week in the journal PLOS says that in most households there is a dynamic where one person takes ownership of the thermostat and others don’t really have input. That was true whether the household consisted of a family, a couple or roommates. Here’s the funny thing: They study found that men thought that any discussion about setting the home’s temperature lower or higher was a “compromise” or an “agreement”. Women, on the other hand, thought those same conversations were “conflicts”. A survey found that when agreements and compromises occurred, the thermostat was more likely to be adjusted, but when conflicts occurred, the temperature was less likely to be changed, and that the final decision usually went to the male in a traditional couple household.
(But I wouldn’t sleep at night, if I were you…)
(OK, guys, you might win that one, but she still decides what you eat…and what you wear…)
(My wife may lose the thermostat battle, but she gets me back in the middle of the night with a well-placed ice-cold foot!)

Netflix is talking about it again. They are apparently considering ways to crack down on password-sharing. It’s pretty common for people to share passwords with friends and family to cut costs and ensure easy accessibility— but Netflix Co-founder Marc Randolph says it’s time for a crackdown because of what he calls “broad cases of flagrant abuse.” According to a recent research, about 14% of Netflix users report they are using a password from “someone outside of my household.” Several measures are being considered, including “requiring customers to change their passwords periodically or texting codes to subscribers’ phones that they would need to enter to keep watching. And if those tactics don’t work it could happen that subscription services turn to using thumbprints for logging in.
(Great. Now I’ll spend half my evening trying to login, and the other half trying to decide what to watch!)
(Don’t you hate it when a big corporation is right?)
(Nothing about having to do the ‘Hokey-Pokey’?)

Workers at a bus terminal in Curitiba, Brazil have decided to do something to help out the city’s homeless dogs. They’ve opened the station’s doors to the doggos, and given them special beds to protect them from the winter cold. The DIY beds are made out of old car tires lined with blankets to keep them cozy through the cold nights. The goodwill of the bus terminal employees was noticed by politician Fabiane Rosa, and she shared some photos on Facebook that quickly went viral.
(And I bet the dogs leave less crap on the floors than people do!)
(I’ve heard of a ‘bus shelter’…)

Yes, I know you know that John Legend was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive this year. But who else was in their “Men of the Year” list? Here are ten of them:
☞ Sterling K. Brown – “This is Us”
☞ Jason Momoa – “Aquaman”
☞ Keanu Reeves – “John Wick”
☞ Shawn Mendes – w/Camila Cabello – ‘Señorita’
☞ Mark Consuelos – “Riverdale”
☞ Paul Rudd – “Avengers Endgame”
☞ The Jonas Brothers – ‘Sucker’
☞ Tan France – “Queer Eye”
☞ Henry Golding – “Crazy Rich Asians”
☞ David Harbour – “Stranger Things”

On Friday, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates surpassed Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos to reclaim the distinction of richest person in the world with a net worth of $100 billion. Bezos, who this year paid out a significant portion of his Amazon stake in his divorce from his wife of 25 years MacKenzie Bezos, now sits at second with a net worth of $108.7 billion.


1939 [80] Margaret Atwood, Ottawa ON, ‘Dean of Canadian Authors’ (“The Blind Assassin”, “The Handmaid’s Tale”)/Order of Canada (1981)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)/Joint winner of the Booker Prize (2019)

1953 [66] Kevin Nealon, St. Louis MO, comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 1991-94, “Weeds” 2005-12)

1958 [61] Oscar Nunez, Colon Cuba, TV actor (‘Oscar Martinez’ on “The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“The Proposal”)

1962 [57] Kirk Hammet, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist (Metallica-‘Enter Sandman’, ‘Nothing Else Matters’)

1968 [51] Owen Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”, voice of ‘Lightning McQueen’ in “Cars” movies)/brother of actor Luke Wilson COMING UP…”The French Dispatch”, 2020

1970 [49] Megyn Kelly, Syracuse NY, journalist (“Megyn Kelly Today” since 2017)

1974 [45] Chloë Sevigny, Springfield MA, movie actress (“Lovelace”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)/TV actress (“Bloodline” 2015-17)

1981 [38] Nasim Pedrad, Tehran, Iran, TV actress (“Scream Queens”, “New Girl” 2015-18)

• “Apple Cider Day”, an annual salute to the refreshing taste of squished apples. A few facts…
– The cider industry uses about 45% of all harvested apples.
– There are more than 300 varieties of apples grown for the sole purpose of making cider.
– Cider apples are different from dessert apples in that they contain tannin, also found in red

• “Married To a Scorpio Support Day”, a day of remembrance to honor those who are married to Scorpios (born October 23-November 21). Scorpios are said to be typically passionate, persistent and strategic (or as some would say, controlling, obsessive and secretive)

• “Vichyssoise Day” [vee-shee-SWAHZ], saluting the creamy potato & leek soup that is traditionally served chilled. Legend has it that a French chef, born in a town near Vichy, created the dish in 1917 at NYC’s Ritz-Carlton hotel.

• “Mickey Mouse Day”, generally observed as his ‘birthday’ when he first appeared in the cartoon short “Steamboat Willie” in 1928 (now making him a geezer mouse of 91). It was the first cartoon with synchronized sound.

• “Push-button Phone Day”, on this day in 1963 the Push Button Phone first became available commercially. (For more information, please press 1)

[Tues] Equal Opportunity Day
[Tues] Blow Bagpipes Day
[Wed] Name Your PC Day
[Wed] Peanut Butter Fudge Day
This Week Is…Game & Puzzle Week
This Month Is…Peanut Butter Lovers Month

2000 [19] 31-year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones weds 56-year-old Michael Douglas at the Plaza Hotel in New York City

2006 [13] Acting couple Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes (referred to as ‘TomKat’) are wed in a Scientology ceremony at a 15th-century castle in Lake Bracciano, Italy (lasts 6 years)

2011 [08] “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” opens in movie theaters

2012 [07] Justin Bieber wins ‘Artist Of the Year’ at the 40th annual American Music Awards

2017 [02] AC/DC founder and guitarist Malcolm Young dies at age 64 after suffering from dementia for the last three years of his life

2006 [13] With the aid of a private jet, Jay Z plays 7 separate 30-minute concerts across America in 1 day to promote his new album “Kingdom Come”

2016 [03] Domino’s delivers one peri-peri chicken pizza and a chicken and cranberry pizza to a customer in Whangaparaoa, New Zealand, the first-ever commercial pizza delivery via drone

2003 [16] Barry Bonds is named National League’s ‘Most Valuable Player’ for a record 6th time


✓ McDonald’s is Brazil’s largest employer.
✓ Proportionally, hash browns have more fat and calories than a cheeseburger or Big Mac.
✓ A single fast-food hamburger can contain meat from hundreds, or even thousands, of different cattle.
✓ If a person added a doughnut a day to their regular diet, they would gain about one extra pound every 10 days.
✓ Plants yield 10 times more protein per acre than meat.
✓ Research shows that if a man avoids red meats, it improves the sex appeal of his body odor.

Best of BS . . .

• Running with scissors.
• Trying to be friends with an ex.
• Anything that happens directly following the phrase, “Hey everybody, check this out!”
• Scrolling through social media while depressed. Everyone’s life will seem better than yours.
• Grocery shopping while hungry. You’ll buy everything.
• Gas station sushi. It doesn’t matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. Don’t do it!
• Anything that requires you to say “It’s just a prank, bro!” afterwards.
• Co-signing a loan for a ‘friend’. Might as well think of it as a gift.
• Rubbing your eye while eating really hot peppers.
• Taking a sleeping pill and a laxative simultaneously.

• Both of his teeth have cavities.
• 4-out-of-5 dentists thinks he’s nuts.
• Admits he quit dental school to join the Singapore cast of “My Fair Lady”.
• Begins examination by saying, “Drop your pants.”
• Cleans your teeth … then shaves your back.
• Accidentally whitens your lips.
• Whispers in your ear, “Mmm, nice gums.”
• The waiting room has a receptionist … and a lookout.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2015

• The maximum weight of this piece of sports equipment is 1.62 oz. Which is it?
a. Badminton birdie (shuttlecock).
b. Ping pong ball.
c. Golf ball. [CORRECT]
– “Land O’ Useless Facts”

• You’re a ‘campanologist’. What is your area of expertise?
a. Buttons
b. Bells [CORRECT. You are skilled in the art of ‘bell ringing’.]
c. Bongs
– “The Fun Place”

• You have a stuttering problem. Which are you more likely to be?
a. Male [CORRECT. 99.9% of all stutterers are male.]
b. Female
c. T-T-Turkish
– “Men’s Health”

I live by the motto “Never go to bed angry”. I haven’t slept in 3 years.

Which has-been star would you like to see make a comeback?

Question:  50% of women don’t leave home without THIS. What is it?
Answer:  A mirror

Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.


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