November 21 2019

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Thursday, November 21, 2019 – Edition: #6578

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ This truth definitely does not hurt: Lizzo scored the most nominations for the 62nd Grammy Awards. The Recording Academy unveiled 2020’s roster of nominees on Wednesday morning and Lizzo scored a leading eight nods in total, including ones for Best New Artist, Album of the Year, Song of the Year and Record of the Year. Billie Eilish and Lil Nas X received six nominations apiece, while Ariana Grande earned five.
★ (***CAUTION: “F—”***) Kevin Hart amazed fans when he came back stronger than ever after being involved in a car accident, and now it’s been revealed that cameras were rolling as he rebuilt his life after suffering devastating injuries. On Tuesday, Hart announced his Netflix documentary, “Kevin Hart Don’t F— This Up,” and it already has an airdate. The documentary will start streaming on December 27, just in time for fans to get inspired for their New Year’s resolutions.
★ Eddie Murphy is set to receive the ‘Career Achievement Award’ from the Critics Choice Association as part of a celebration of black cinema. He’s being recognized following his work as blaxploitation film star Rudy Ray Moore in the film “Dolemite Is My Name,” which the Critics Choice Association says helps sheds light on an era when black artists were pioneering new-found ways to reach black audiences and tell their own stories.
★ Dwayne Johnson delighted a sick fan when he sent the three-year-old boy a clip of himself performing the tune ‘You’re Welcome’ from “Moana”. The Rock shared the video on Instagram, in honour of Hyrum Harris, who is battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) — a form of cancer. Addressing the young fan, he said: “I’m a big fan of Maui, too, and I’m a big fan of yours. Thanks for inspiring everyone around you, including myself. Stay strong, Hyrum.”
★ In the market for a “hilarious party game for adults”? Why not get a copy of the new board game: “The Maury Show: You Are Not the Father.” The very real game is currently available for pre-order on Amazon and will be shipped beginning Nov. 27. Yep, just in time for Thanksgiving — a holiday that clearly could use some help in upping its “family conflict” quota.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Billie Eilish, Taylor Kitsch, Jessie Reyez
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Will Ferrell, Alan Cumming, Jessica Kirson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Kamala Harris, Adrienne Warren
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Dolly Parton, Tobias Menzies, Rep. Ro Khanna, Jon Theodore
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Chadwick Boseman, Sienna Miller, Stephan James
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Tom Papa, Fortune Feimster, Reggie Watts
• “Conan” (TBS): Fred Armisen
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Hoda Kotb, Don Johnson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jamie Lee Curtis, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Bilott
• “The Talk” (CBS): Randall Park
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kit Harington, Niecy Nash, Charles Melton, Passenger (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Kat Dennings
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Whitney Cummings, Lil Rel Howery
• “Will & Grace” (NBC): Season 3 midseason finale
• “NFL Football” (FOX): Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans

• Beyoncé – Her daughter Blue Ivy Carter already has more BET Awards than you. Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s oldest child snagged the Ashford & Simpson Songwriter’s Award honor at the 2019 BET Soul Train Awards for her work on ‘Brown Skin Girl’, from “The Lion King: The Gift” album.
• Billie Eilish – launched her “Billie Eilish Kids” clothing line this week. The collection includes a number of pieces from her well-known “Blohsh” merch line including sweatshirts, t-shirts and beanies ranging from $20 to $60.
• Chris Jericho – The rocking wrestler has released a new version of The Kinks’ 1977 holiday classic ‘Father Christmas’. Proceeds from the new version, recorded as Chris Jericho & the Christmas Helves, will benefit a juvenile diabetes charity.
• The Who — became the first act to receive a stone on the Music Walk of Fame in London on Tuesday. The new attraction, which echoes the Hollywood Walk of Fame, will lay up to 20 stones each year, and inductees will be honored in the categories of icon, innovator, inspiration, industry, unsung hero and artist of the year.
• The Doobie Brothers — are reuniting with Michael McDonald, who’ll front the band for a 50th anniversary tour next year. The 30-date tour was confirmed after McDonald made a surprise guest appearance at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, joining the Doobies for an encore rendition of classic track ‘Takin’ it to the Streets’.
• Evanescence — Their cover of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ will be released as a digital single tomorrow. It is featured in the XBOX game “Gears Of War 5″.
• David Lee Roth — will be taking his show to Charlotte, N.C., on May 1, a month after he completes his Las Vegas residency. He’ll take part in “Epicenter 2020”, a festival that also includes Lynyrd Skynyrd and features two night-closing sets by Metallica. Other bands on the bill include Anthrax, Disturbed, Godsmack, Staind and Deftones.
• Walker Hayes – says his new music is still personal, but he has added some star power, including a song he wrote with his former tour boss, Kelsea Ballerini. He also touches on his ongoing struggle with alcoholism. Some of his new music will be released on his upcoming third “8Track” E.P., out on Dec. 6.
• Justin Moore – is really into yoga. Surprised? He’s not surprised that you’re surprised. He says, “I know that’s kind of random, but I do love yoga.” He attributes his interest to his long-time friendship with 6’6 250-pound wrestler Diamond Dallas Page, who told him that yoga is the only thing that has helped him recover from some injuries.

If every morning feels like a Monday morning to you, scientists are now saying you have a ready-made excuse for hitting ‘snooze’ multiple times or being found face-down and drooling on your keyboard: genetics. New research by DNA testing company, 23andMe, has discovered that genetic programming plays a part in our wake-up time. They studied over 1,500 Brits and determine that the average natural wake-up time is 7:55am. Most people set their alarms for much earlier than that, explaining our feelings of tiredness and lack of productivity. Interrupting your body’s circadian rhythm (which is the official term for our body clock) can leave us feeling out of sorts at the beginning of the day. They also found that even if you aren’t particularly tired at the start of the day, you may experience “tiredness slumps” at other times. The UK’s National Health Service says that one in five of us get “unusually tired” and offers these suggestions to help restore alertness when the slump sets in:
➠ Exercise:  It actually bolsters your energy reserve. (and is good for you!)
➠ Cutting caffeine:  In the long term, switching to decaf could make a big difference.
➠ Don’t nap:  Daytime snoozes can interrupt your body’s circadian rhythm and lead to your struggling to sleep at night, creating a vicious circle.
(Strange there’s nothing there about having a Snickers bar…!)
(I see. So, you’re telling me that I’m doing the EXACT opposite of everything I should be doing…!)
(7:55am? As a parent, I can guarantee you that no kids were involved in this study!)

University of Pennsylvania researchers have come up with an innovative new toilet coating that prevents “stains” from sticking to the bowl. They say that their “teflon” turd deterrent could save literally billions of liters of water which are flushed every in an effort to rid toilet bowls of skid marks. LESS (liquid entrenched smooth surface) is a “robust bio-inspired, liquid, sludge-and bacteria-repellent coating” which is said to be used to make a toilet essentially self-cleaning. LESS is applied via spray and only needs to be reapplied every 500 flushes. No word yet on when it will hit store shelves.
(Please tell me that you just used the word “spray” ironically…)
(“Not ENTIRELY self-cleaning” said every person who has ever had to wipe a drip off the seat…)

A Vancouver Island soap company is selling a beer-scented soap, just in time for the holidays. “Lucky Lager Beer Soap” combines the smell of beer with essential oils to create a moisturizing cleanser with a thick lather, according to Vancouver Island Soap Works founder Debbie Cooper. The soap is made by combining beer with the company’s traditional soap recipes to create a hoppy scent that eventually transitions to a more conventional soap smell. The soap is available in local stores for $6.99 per bar, and at their website:
(I’ve had a beer in a bar, but never had beer IN my bar!)
(It’s funny, because I spent most of my 20s trying to wash the smell of beer OFF!)
(The least they could do is sell it in six-packs!)

A few tips from health experts ….
✓ Colds and the flu are viral infections that usually bring fever, aches, and fatigue.
✓ Allergies do not come with a fever.
✓ If you’re sneezing and blowing your nose endlessly, it could be a cold or allergies, but a cold will leave after a week-to-10 days. Allergies linger.
✓ Allergies are not accompanied by pains, upset stomach, or exhaustion like the flu.
✓ Symptoms for allergies include ‘allergy shiners’, where blood vessels under eyes dilate, creating dark circles; and the ‘allergy salute’, whereby people constantly rub their nose.
✓ For colds, well, grandma was right. Chicken soup really is a good remedy, though doctors are not sure why. (It’s the ‘extra love’ she puts in it.)

Lazy people actually think MORE. A 2016 study found that people who possess a ‘strong need for cognition’ move around less than those who avoid mentally taxing tasks. The not-so-scientific inference: Laying around a lot just might mean you’re brainier.


1945 [74] Goldie Hawn, Washington DC, movie actress (“Overboard”, “The First Wives Club”)

1963 [56] Nicollette Sheridan, TV actress, Worthing England (“Desperate Housewives” 2004-2009, “Knots Landing” 1986-1993, “Dynasty” 2018-19)

1965 [54] Bjork, Reykjavik Iceland, pop singer (‘It’s Oh So Quiet’, ‘Big Time Sensuality’)

1966 [53] Troy Aikman, West Covina CA, TV football analyst (FOX-TV since 2001)/former NFL QB (Dallas Cowboys 1989-2000)/Pro Football Hall of Fame (2006)

1971 [48] Michael Strahan, Houston TX, TV personality (“GMA Day” since 2018, “Good Morning America” since 2012, “Live With Kelly & Michael” 2012-16, “FOX NFL Sunday” since 2008)/former NFL player (NY Giants 1993-2007)

1975 [44] Jimmi Simpson, Hackettstown NJ, TV actor (‘William’ on “Westworld” 2016, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” 2005-13)

1985 [34] Carly Rae Jepsen, Mission BC, pop singer (‘Call Me Maybe’)

1987 [32] Sam Palladio, Pembury UK, TV actor (‘Gunnar Scott’ on “Nashville” 2012-18)

• “Pumpkin Pie Day”, celebrating a truly North American food phenomenon. What’s your secret ingredient? And your favorite topping? Ever try it with honey?

• “National Stuffing Day”, the usual turkey stuffing consists of bread cubes or crumbs combined with onions, celery, salt and pepper along with spices and herbs such as summer savory, sage or poultry seasoning.  Other varieties include adding sausage, hamburger, tofu, oysters, egg, rice, apple, raisins or other dried fruits.

• “National Gingerbread Day”, whether it’s a crisp cookie or soft cake, or a big house you can make, now is the perfect time to whip up a brand new recipe if you’re a gingerbread fan.

• “World Hello Day”, the 47th annual celebration of the simplest salutation that now takes place in 180 countries. Participants are asked to spread goodwill by saying ‘hello’ to 10 people.
• “World Fisheries Day”, to draw attention to overfishing, habitat destruction, and other serious threats to the sustainability of our marine and freshwater resources.

• “World Television Day”, established in 1996 by the UN to encourage nations to exchange cultural programming focusing on peace, security, and economic & social development.

• “National Red Mitten Day (Canada)”, Since their launch ahead of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games, Hudson’s Bay’s Red Mittens have become the nation’s most iconic symbol of Canadian Olympic pride with $3.90 from the sale of each $15 pair of Red Mittens going to support Canadian athletes. To date, the Red Mittens alone have raised more than $32 million for the Canadian Olympic Foundation.

• “False Confessions Day”, highlighting the problem of innocent people being coerced into admitting guilt.

• “Great American Smokeout”, the 43rd annual sponsored by the American Cancer Society on the 3rd Thursday of November to encourage smokers to quit cigarettes for at least one day.

[Fri] Go For a Ride Day
[Fri] Humane Society Anniversary Day
[Sat] Doctor Who Day
[Sat] Family Volunteer Day

1976 [43] “Rocky” starring Sylvester Stallone premieres in New York (Best Picture 1977)

2006 [13] “No Music Day” in Britain, when conceptual artist Bill Drummond calls for all citizens to refrain from extraneous noise (London radio station Resonance 104.4 airs … silence)

2014 [05] “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1″ opens in movie theaters

2015 [04] Actress Sofia Vergara weds “Magic Mike” star Joe Manganiello in Palm Beach, Florida

1981 [38] Olivia Newton-John’s ‘Physical’ single goes to #1 & stays there for 10 weeks

2003 [16] The acoustic guitar on which The Beatles’ George Harrison learned to play is sold at a London auction for £276,000 (original price … £3.50)

2017 [02] David Cassidy dies at age 67 after suffering liver and kidney failure. His role as ‘Keith’ on “The Partridge Family” led to his becoming a teen idol and superstar pop singer in the 1970s.

2010 [09] Jimmy Johnson becomes the 1st driver ever to win 5 straight NASCAR Sprint Cup Series championships

2000 [19] Backstreet Boys’ “Black & Blue” album debuts with one of the biggest initial retail shipments ever, circa 6 million units


✓ Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320 ways to rearrange the other eight reindeers.
✓ The only word in the English language with three consecutive sets of double letters is “bookkeeper”.
✓ Mark Hamill voiced the Joker in the “Batman” animated series.
✓ Monkeys only smile when they are scared.
✓ It would take 1.2 million mosquitoes biting you simultaneously to drain all your blood.
✓ There is no speed limit for bicycles in the United Kingdom, but you can get charged with ‘cycling furiously’.
-FactRepublic, UnnecessaryKnowledge

• Two-Buck Upchuck
• Daddy’s Angry Juice
• Relapse
• Drunk Text-Fuel
• Beer: Now With Shampoo
• Yellow Snow
• Make You Forget About Your Divorce-weiser
• Guinness Clear
• I Can’t Believe it’s Not Beer
• Non-Alcoholic
• Pumpkin Spice

Best of BS . . .
• “This is just like Christmas without the presents: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “So, so sorry I couldn’t make it to the 17 family fun events you scheduled: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “No, I’d rather not help with the cooking, but thank-you for asking: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “Yes, I have gained weight. Let’s discuss it at length while I cry into this slice of pecan pie: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “Please stop giving me romantic advice: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “Let’s wrap this up before the game starts: GO SPORTS! Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “Please stop baiting me into a political debate. I know you haven’t changed your mind since 1985: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “I am never going to accept your Facebook friend request, like ever: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “I will get there when I get there and I will leave when I leave: THIS IS NOT A DEBATE: Happy Thanksgiving!”
• “I wish I hadn’t come: Happy Thanksgiving!”
– Thanks to Cetoria Tomberlin, first published in ‘BS’ in 2014

What’s the most embarrassing product to ask for in a store? (According to one poll, the top 5 are adult diapers, condoms, hemorrhoid products, yeast infection medication, and tampons.)

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what OTHER people eat.

Question:  2% of people married someone they met HERE. Where?
Answer:  A grocery store

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.


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