Wednesday, October 26, 2005        Edition: #3145
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
While ABC News has yet to announce a permanent replacement for late anchor Peter Jennings on the network’s nightly news, it has revealed that it WON’T be Diane Sawyer, contradicting a report in “Broadcasting & Cable” magazine . . . Here’s what an Oscar can do for ya: “Ray” actor Jamie Foxx has signed a 2-year, 1st-look production deal with MTV Films & Paramount Pictures – and he doesn’t even have to star in the projects . . . “Doom” star The Rock has reportedly nicknamed his manhood ‘The People’s Strudel’ (seems more like a turnover) . . . Actress Lindsay Lohan is said to be furious a headlight from her (latest) crashed car has been put up for sale on eBay because – ‘it’s not something that should be treated as a joke’ (as opposed to her driving) . . . Brit actor Daniel Craig may have a problem playing the new ‘James Bond’ because – he hates handguns (“No Q, not the Walther PPK, hand me that deer rifle …”) . . . A hairbrush actress Angelina Jolie apparently left on the set of her new film, “The Good Shepherd”, earlier THIS YEAR is up for sale on eBay through October 31st – bidding starts at $150 (not much, considering you can use DNA from her hair to build your very own Pitt-stop!) . . . Mrs Ozzy, Sharon Osbourne, has revealed that she’s now spent over $500,000 on plastic surgery (doesn’t seem she get her money’s worth, does it?) . . . And “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry reportedly became so tired of the on-set sniping between cast members, he brought in Dr Phil to consult the stars in a secret session (not only does this sound like BS, the entire on-going story about the cast’s infighting seems like a publicity stunt).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• All-American Rejects – TODAY they’re on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Ashlee Simpson – She’s finally admitted to dating Lindsay Lohan’s ex-, Wilmer Valderrama (“That ‘70s Show”). So that’s what her song “Boyfriend” is all about!,
• 50 Cent – He’s landed Britain’s BBC Radio 1 in trouble with Ofcom (the UK version of the CRTC), after using 3 different profanities during a recent interview.
• Michelle Branch – TONIGHT she appears with Santana on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Peter Gabriel – The world soccer body FIFA has tapped the classic rocker to organize opening ceremonies for NEXT YEAR’s “World Cup” at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin, Germany.
• Radiohead – Jonny Greenwood & Phil Selway will be seen in “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire” (opening NOVEMBER 18th), playing members of a band that performs at ‘Hogwarts School’.
• Trace Adkins – He’s working with a nonprofit organization to raise awareness of the dangers of food allergies, something his 4-year-old daughter struggles with.
• Weezer – Frontman Rivers Cuomo is heading back to Harvard University in FEBRUARY to wrap up his English degree, something he’s been meaning to do for 10 years.
 
CUTTING EDGE VOCAB:

• ‘Empty Suit’ – Someone who’s supposedly in a position of authority but actually has no real power.
• ‘Frankenbyting’ – Insider show biz terminology for the assembly and editing together of disparate film clips to create new dialogue for a reality TV show. Some of the resulting ‘conversations’ actually never took place. So much for ‘reality’!
• ‘Hurricane Lemons’ – You’ve seen endless pics of vehicles submerged in water from rain and storm-surges caused by this year’s hurricanes. It’s estimated as many as 300,000 vehicles have been water-damaged and some, after a little hocus-pocus with the title and a cleaning that washes that rank, new-flood smell away, will enter the used-car market. Buyer beware!
• ‘Rate Tart’ – Someone who keeps switching credit cards in pursuit of the best interest rate.
• ‘Smart-Sizing’ – Developing portion-size awareness when dining out. Nutritionists say that ordering small or even child-size portions is one way to diet without having to avoid foods.

DID YOU KNOW?
• In Hollywood movies, Frankenstein’s monster is usually mute. That’s odd, considering that in Mary Shelley’s original novel “Frankenstein”, he was fluent in French and quite the chatterbox.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• More children have been killed from AIDS-related diseases in the past year than the Asian tsunami disaster and the Pakistani earthquake put together.
– UNICEF
• It’s a myth that you are more likely to catch a cold in the winter. The ‘common cold’ has nothing to do with cold weather whatsoever. Cold viruses are actually more active in the Spring and Fall. The influenza virus, however, is most active in Winter.
– “Obesity, Fitness & Wellness Week”

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• A 31-year-old Brazilian woman is suing her partner for … not satisfying her in the sack! In her complaint filed at a police station in Jundiai, she alleges her 38-year-old partner simply satisfies himself … then stops making love. Cops say they’ll leave this thorny case for a judge to decide.
• Elizabeth Wehte of St Louis MO, a former kindergarten teacher, runs an exercise program for adults that involves relay races, leapfrog, playing follow-the-leader, Hula-Hoops and high-speed hopscotch. She calls her class … ‘Recess’!
• A 52-year-old Bristol UK man has held his own wake early – so he could celebrate along with the mourners! John Noble’s physician diagnosed him with motor neuron disease and gave him just months to live, so he invited some 120 family & friends to a party where he got to say goodbye … while still alive.
• Newark NJ city council has awarded local newspaper the “Newark Weekly News” a $100,000 contract to publish positive news about the city. Under the contract, the paper can only generate stories based on leads from the council and the mayor’s office.
• THIS WEEK Venezuelan security services scrambled to tackle a new threat on the streets of Caracas – Halloween jack-o-lanterns! Some carry messages of rebellion against President Hugo Chavez and one in particular, which was covered with protest stickers, ended up surrounded by heavily armed cops and bomb experts.
• An Oklahoma City man accused of robbery and shooting with intent to kill has asked for a longer sentence than prosecution and defense attorneys agreed upon. They’re recommending a 30-year prison term but Eric James Torpy has asked for 33 – to match the jersey number of NBA legend Larry Bird.

COW POWER:
The world’s first ‘biogas’-powered passenger train is now shuttling passengers between the Swedish cities of Linkoping and Vastervik. ‘Biogas’ comes from the entrails of dead cows. Here’s how it works: after beef is processed in slaughterhouses, the organic sludge left over is taken to the biogas factory, where the stinking fuel is stewed gently for a month before methane can be drawn off and used for fuel. (You have to tell yourself the cows are going to die anyway.)
– BBC News

HE SAID IT:
• “Yoko came up to me when I was in my 20s, and she put her hand on me and she said: ‘You are John’s son.’ What an amazing compliment.”
– U2′s Bono, telling “Rolling Stone” magazine that Yoko Ono has anointed him … or something.
• “I like any girl that will fart on me.”
– Pop singer Ryan Cabrera, sharing his criteria for a girlfriend. Hmm, what does that say about his ex–, Ashlee Simpson?

PARTY SPLITS:
Author Christine Gallagher’s new book, “How to Throw a Divorce or Break-up Party”, analyzes a growing fad to throw wild break-up bashes. Some of the more elaborate divorce parties include bands, games like ‘Pin the Blame on the Spouse’, cocktails named ‘Marriage on the Rocks’ and divorce cakes. (Presumably single-layer.)
– “The Australian”

THE PASSION PATCH:
Inventor Liz Paul has unveiled the ‘Scentuelle’ at the “British Invention Show” in London – a tiny,  scented, transparent patch that purportedly helps a woman ‘get in the mood’. The patch exudes dopamine, said to be just what today’s stressed and multi-tasking females need. Research has shown that up to 35% of women have problems with their libido. Paul says: “Men have Viagra, now we women have this!” (Word is … it smells like money.)
– Yahoo! News

FOR THE RECORD:
25-year-old Swiss breakdancer Mark Dossenbach has won a spot in the “Guinness Book of World Records” after managing to spin around 16 times … on his elbows! Dossenbach says he learned to spin on his elbows instead of his hands after injuring a wrist.
– “20 Minutes”

CHOPPING BAGS:
Santiago, Chile auto product company United Motors is now selling airbags – for motorcycle owners. The airbags are contained inside a normal-looking jacket that’s made with special fabric. Upon collision, several bags inflate to protect the rider’s entire upper body. The company claims the product has already saved many lives.
– Ananova News

IT TAKES HOW LONG?
How much exercise does it take to lose extra weight? Experts say about 5 hours of weekly exercise may bring the biggest weight loss.
– WebMD

THE BULL SHEET 10.26.05

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [69] Shelley Morrison, NYC, TV actress (‘Rosario Salazar McFarland’ on “Will & Grace” since 1999)

1946 [59] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1946 [59] Ivan Reitman, Komarmo, Slovenia [raised in Canada], movie producer/director (“Old School”, “Animal House”)  UP NEXT: “Trailer Park Boys: The Big Dirty” (2006).

1947 [58] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US Senator (Democrat-NY since 2001)/former US First Lady (1992-2000)/2008 Presidential candidate?

1954 [51] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy”)

1963 [42] Natalie Merchant, Jamestown NY, classic rock singer (“Jealousy”, “Carnival”)/former 10,000 Maniacs lead

1967 [38] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (“Better Life”, “It’s a Love Thing”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Jewish] “Simchat Torah”

TODAY is “International Red Cross Day” in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970 [35] “Doonesbury” comic strip by Garry Trudeau debuts in 28 newspapers

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [03] Pop singer Jessica Simpson weds boy-band singer Nick Lachey (leading to MTV show “Newlyweds” and more fame and money than either deserve)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1975 [30] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)

1982 [23] ‘Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame’ organized in Toronto (permanent site in St Mary’s ON includes regulation diamond nicknamed ‘Field of Dreams’)

2001 [04] Microsoft launches “Windows XP” computer operating system

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [15] 1st NHLer to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Fri] Chocolate Day
[Fri] Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Sat] International Internet Day
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am)
[Mon] Magic Day
[Mon] UNICEF Day
This Week Is . . . Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week
This Month Is . . . Cosmetology Month (honoring those who make a living off hair and nails)

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:

• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Did Einstein formulate his relativity theory, that space and time are the same thing, because he kept showing up for meetings 3 miles late?
• Wouldn’t you rather be disliked for who you are than liked for who you aren’t?
• If your girlfriend wants you to be more affectionate, does that mean you need to get a 2nd
girlfriend?
• If ‘all the world’s a stage and we all must play a part’, could we get some new writers?

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s your absolute best advice for saving money? (Participants in a contest to find New Zealand’s thriftiest shopper have recommended a wide array of tips, including showering with your dog, cooking in the dishwasher, living in a tent, cutting your own hair and … treating pimples with garlic.)
• What should Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow name their rumored expected sibling for ‘Apple’? ‘Orange’ maybe? (“Their personalities are so different … we’re talking Apple’s and Orange’s.”)
• How much do you normally leave as a tip? (Cornell University’s Michael Lynn, one of the world’s leading tip researchers, says the standard tip is now 20%.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’re average, you only clean THIS out once a year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your vehicle’s glove compartment.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.


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