Wednesday, October 19, 2005        Edition: #3140
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

Latest buzz on the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes wedding thought to be happening NEXT MONTH is that Cruise has asked designer Georgio Armani to create the bridal gown – personally . . .  Illusionist David Copperfield, currently on tour in Germany, tells “Galore” magazine it’s untrue that there are only 7 basic magic tricks and he’ll be proving it – by impregnating a female on-stage without touching her (apparently a trick he learned from Tom Cruise) . . . When he created “The West Wing”, producer/writer Aaron Sorkin went behind-the-scenes at the White House, now he’s created an NBC-TV drama pilot called “Studio 7 on the Sunset Strip” that goes behind-the-scenes at a TV network . . . Ashton Kutcher has another TV project in the works, “30 Year Old Grandpa”, a sit-com pilot about a young man with an older bride (hmm, wonder where that idea came from?) . . . Paris Hilton has reportedly auctioned off her $5-million engagement ring from ex-fiancé Paris Latsis to raise funds for hurricane relief, with the winning bidder paying less than half its original value . . . Someone finally got smart – coke-snorting Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty has been barred from visiting on-off model girlfriend Kate Moss at The Meadows rehab clinic in Arizona . . . “Alias” actress Jennifer Garner reportedly hates her freckles & regularly spends over an hour with a makeup artist having them covered up, but word is hubby Ben Affleck thinks they’re sweet . . . CBS-TV is bringing blogging to primetime with the help of stars, writers and producers of some of the network’s biggest hits including “Survivor” and “The Amazing Race” tossing up blogs connected to the net’s Website . . . Some 20 years ago, former ‘James Bond’ Sean Connery donated $90,000 to help save Britain’s financially struggling National Youth Theatre – coincidentally the same year a struggling actor named Daniel Craig (the new ‘007′) got his first big break with the group (ah, the circle of life!).

• Christina Aguilera – TONIGHT she’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin has outbid Bono at a charity auction, paying $20,000 to get his hands on a lunch box designed by REM’s Michael Stipe.
• Dolly Parton – TODAY she guests on ABC-TV’s daytime talk show “The View”.
• Fantasia Barrino – Residents of High Point NC are lobbying to have the “American Idol’s” name removed from town signs due to the unflattering description of her hometown in her new autobiography “Life is Not a Fairy Tale”.
• 50 Cent – He delayed the start of his recent London show after his prized platinum & diamond-encrusted crucifix mysteriously vanished. A Wembley Arena security guard finally came forward with the trinket, claiming he’d found it unattended and had taken it for ‘safe keeping’. (It won’t be long before this guy’s found floating in the Thames.)

• ‘Christian Exodus’ – A movement to reintroduce the ‘Christian principles once so predominant in America’. Adherents plan to form communities based on these beliefs instead of those which allow abortion and ban school prayer. The first is near Greenville SC. If the purpose-built communities fail, the group believes a ‘peaceful withdrawal from the union’ will be the last resort.
• ‘Guardians of the Forest’ – The politically-correct term for ‘dwarf’ suggested to a drama group in Kent UK that’s staging “Snow White & the Seven [Guardians of the Forest]” this holiday season. A rep for the ‘Restricted Growth Association’ welcomes the ban on the word ‘dwarf’, saying it’s offensive to a small group of people … er a tiny … oh never mind.
• ‘Promatorium’ – As opposed to a ‘crematorium’ where bodies are burned, this is a building where they are frozen, submerged in liquid nitrogen until brittle, and then shattered. The powdered remains are then dried, packed in a biodegradable box and buried in a shallow grave. The world’s first ‘promatorium’ will open NEXT YEAR in the Swedish town of Jonkoping.
• ‘Ubersexual’ – A new term coined by NYC ad exec Marian Salzman to describe the most attractive, most dynamic, most compelling men of a generation. Salzman’s prototype of someone masculine, confident, stylish & committed enough to wear the term? U2’s Bono.

If you have the sudden urge to gorge, take a minute to think whether you are suffering from a mood swing. According to studies by medical researchers, your gastronomic predilections can be a good indicator of your feelings. For instance, a craving for steak may indicate pent-up anger; having the munchies for potato chips might mean you’re stressed; and a hankering for sweet desserts like cake can be a sign that you are sexually frustrated.
– ANI Health & Science

Muhammad Ali is collaborating on a new clothing line with Adidas. Inspired by Ali’s ‘60s and ‘70s boxing wardrobe, the line includes cargo shirts and sweatshirts emblazoned with some of Ali’s famous phrases, including ‘Sting Like a Bee’. For those who prefer a little more bling, there’s a white satin robe with ‘Muhammad Ali’ emblazoned across the back.

One of the most efficient ways to clean your teeth is by chewing on a stick.

Viewing and discussing art not only soothes the soul, it also helps keep the body healthy according to Swedish researcher Britt-Maj Wikstroem. She claims test groups of women who regularly viewed and discussed art became more positive and more creative. Also their blood pressure readings improved … and they used fewer laxatives. Wikstroem has been studying the effects of art on people in different settings since the 1980s, including a study of how museum art hung in offices impacts employees working there.
– Agence France-Presse

• Reduced income/same expenses.
• Poor money management.
• Medical expenses.
• Saving too little or not at all.
• Banking on a windfall that never happens.
• Financial illiteracy.
• Gambling.
• Divorce.

People over 55 now represent nearly a quarter of all health club members, according to the International Health, Racquet & Sportsclub Association. The increase has been the defining change in the fitness center industry over the past 15 years.
– Associated Press

The all-time best magazine cover shots, as announced THIS WEEK by the American Society of Magazine Editors …
1. “Rolling Stone” (January 1981): John & Yoko Lennon captured by photographer Annie Leibovitz just hours before his murder. He’s pictured naked, curled up in a fetal position around his fully-clothed wife.
2. “Vanity Fair” (August 1991): The infamous pic of actress Demi Moore, hugely pregnant and starkly naked. At the time, Ashton Kutcher was still in junior high.
3. “Esquire” (April 1968): A bare-chested Muhammad Ali is pictured pierced by arrows for refusing to be inducted into the US Army due to his religious beliefs.
– “NY Times”

These countries rank tops in a new international survey on self-esteem …
1. Serbia
2. Chile
3. Israel
4. Peru
5. Estonia
(Canada ranks 32nd, below Congo, Botswana & Zimbabwe.)
(USA ranks 6th.)
– WebMD / “Journal of Personality & Social Psychology”

“Ambition is a talent in its own right. I had the gift of music, but it was ambition that enabled me to translate that into my career.”
– Singer Mariah Carey, modestly listing her various talents for “You” magazine.


1931 [74] John Le Carré (David Cornwell), Poole UK, novelist (“The Constant Gardener”)

1945 [60] John Lithgow, Rochester NY, movie actor (“Kinsey”)/TV actor (“3rd Rock From the Sun” 1996-2001)

1960 [45] Dawn Coe-Jones, Campbell River BC, 18-year LPGA golfer/Canadian Golf Hall of Fame (2003)

1965 [40] Ty Pennington, Atlanta GA, TV home improvement guru (“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” since 2003, “Trading Spaces” 2000-04)

1969 [36] Trey Parker, Conifer CO, TV producer/writer (“South Park”)/movie producer/director (“Team America: World Police”)

1976 [29] Cyndi Thomson, Tifton GA, country singer (“What I Really Meant to Say”)

[Baghdad] Saddam Hussein’s trial scheduled to start

TODAY through Saturday the 6th annual “Canadian Comedy Awards & Festival” yucks it up in London ON where a wide variety of Canadian comics perform nightly, then compete for coveted ‘Beaver Awards’ in various hilarious categories.

TODAY is “Evaluate Your Life Day”, a time to ‘sit back and reflect on your contribution to humanity and see if you’re really heading toward where you want to be’. (Shouldn’t take long.)

1919 [86] 1st team to ‘throw’ a World Series (Chicago’s loss to Reds becomes known as the ‘Black Sox Scandal’)

1957 [48] 1st NHLer to score 500 career goals (Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard-Montréal Canadiens)

1872 [133] ‘World’s Largest Gold Nugget’ found in New South Wales, Australia (215 kg/473 lbs)

1980 [25] Steve McPeak rides ‘World’s Largest Unicycle’ (101′, 9″)

[Fri] Babbling Day
[Fri] Reptile Day
[Sun] 3rd Western Canadian Music Awards (Vancouver)
[Sun] Canned Food Day
[Sun] Mother-In-Laws Day
[Mon] United Nations Day
[Mon] Bologna Day
This Week Is . . . Canadian Citizenship Week  
This Month Is . . . Campaign For Healthier Babies Month


Real excuses that were actually used …
• “I’m too drunk to drive to work.”
• “The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.”
• “I’m too fat to get into my work pants.”
• “My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in, and we can’t get it out.”

What’s the absolute best Halloween costume you can make without spending a penny?

• Which Canadian periodical started out as “The Busy Man’s Magazine”?
a. “The Financial Post”
b. “Maclean’s” [CORRECT]
c. “Weekly Scoop”

• What were mummies used for in Europe until the 18th Century?
a. Good luck charms.
b. Interior decorating.
c. Medicine. [CORRECT. ‘Mummy powder’ was prescribed to cure internal ailments.]

• BC, Alberta & Ontario all incorporate Britain’s ‘Union Jack’ into their flags. Which US state also does?
a. Virginia.
b. Hawaii. [CORRECT]
c. Puerto Rico.

• The oil-sands wealth of the Athabasca region is rivalled in the Western Hemisphere only by …
a. Texas.
b. The US Gulf Coast.
c. Venezuela. [CORRECT]

• What does the acronym ‘YAHOO’ stand for?
a. You Are Having Online Operations.
b. Yuck, A Hairy Olive Oil!
c. Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle. [CORRECT]

• Which WASN’T an occupation of Ray Kroc before he started the McDonald’s fast food chain?
a. Ambulance driver.
b. Radio station manager.
c. Nutritionist. [CORRECT]

• How many people died in the Great Fire of London in 1666?
a. Only 6. [CORRECT]
b. A horrific 66,000.
c. None. It wasn’t until the next year, dummy!

Today’s Question: 90% of women surveyed say THIS feature on a man is ‘sexy’.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Grey hair.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

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