Monday, October 17, 2005        Edition: #3138
Eat, Breath Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• Mary-Kate Olsen is taking a leave of absence from New York University in order to ‘focus on her responsibilities as co-president of Dualstar Entertainment Group and to pursue personal interests’. (Translated from Hollywoodese: She’s just too cool for school.)
– “People”
• When Michael Jackson made an appearance at the re-launch of London’s Hard Rock Café, he was simply turned away. Seems his security arrived at 10.30 pm, found a secret back door for him and got the thumbs up. But after MJ missed his 11.15 ETA, Hard Rock management gave him the old heave-ho, claiming the place was ‘simply too packed’. (Translated from Brit jargon: We came to our senses and changed our mind, you pasty-faced weirdo.)
– “Daily Mirror”
• Former “Friends” castmates, Jennifer Aniston & Courteney Cox Arquette are reportedly planning to team up as equal partners in a new movie production company. Jen previously owned film company Plan B with her ex-, Brad Pitt. Courteney & her hubby David Arquette already have a production company, but it focuses solely on developing TV projects.
– IOL.com
• Tom Cruise’s pregnant fiancée Katie Holmes has pulled out of her new film “Shame on You” because she fears the stress of filming might harm her unborn child. The 26-year-old actress was signed to star as the estranged wife of Spade Cooley (Dennis Quaid), the self-proclaimed ‘King of Western Swing’ in the 1940s. Her withdrawal will likely cause further delay to filming in New Orleans, already postponed by damage from Hurricane Katrina. (This production now has a count of 0 and 2.)
– Contact Music
• According to an unnamed insider, “Vanity Fair” magazine digitally-altered Beyonce’s image to make her skin appear several shades lighter for THIS MONTH’s cover. The pop diva was reportedly airbrushed to a ‘Jennifer Lopez shade of bronze’ to become the first African-American woman to appear on the magazine’s cover since Tina Turner in 1993. (In related news, “Vanity Fair is considering a name change to ‘Lily White’.)
– “Radar Magazine”
• The newly-announced next ‘James Bond’, English actor Daniel Craig (“Layer Cake”, “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”), is the same actor that was romantically linked to actress Sienna Miller, the former fiancée of his former best friend, actor Jude Law. (Could somebody turn a hose on Britain’s A-list?)
– “Star Magazine”
• Thanks to hubby Kevin Federline, Britney Spears’ cash flow has been in going in one direction – out! His latest venture is a multi-million-dollar dance school he’s been developing with Michael Jackson’s father, Joe. But a source says Britney’s mom Lynne may put the kibosh on the project because she’s not about to let him squander all her daughter’s loot. (She’s hoarding it for herself.)
– “Life & Style Weekly”
• Sylvester Stallone has confirmed his plans to star in & direct a 5th sequel to his boxing classic “Rocky”, with production scheduled to begin in DECEMBER. In the new film, Stallone’s famous boxing character is now a restaurant owner who’s grieving over the death of his wife Adrian and decides to fight off loneliness by returning to the ring. Word has it an old ‘Rocky’ foe will return for the new chapter … Mr T! Meanwhile, Stallone is also getting in shape for another sequel, “Rambo IV”, which will be shot early NEXT YEAR. The aging action star will be 60-years-old  when both films are released. (Somehow this all so very, very sad.)
– Hollywood.com / “The Sun” / World Entertainment News Network

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – They’ll likely earn big bucks in royalties from Madonna’s new single “Hung Up”. Because it heavily samples their 1979 recording “Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie”, they’ve agreed to split the copyright with her.
• Big & Rich – They’re producing a documentary film about a 1965 battle in Vietnam that claimed the lives of 48 US soldiers. The doc stems from “8th of November”, a song featured on their upcoming album “Comin’ to Your City”.
• Christina Aguilera – Word has it she’s sold the photo rights for her wedding to Jordan Bratman NEXT MONTH to “People” magazine for circa $600,000.
• INXS – TODAY they perform at the grand opening of Los Angeles’ new Virgin Megastore, showing off new frontman JD Fortune who was selected on “Rock Star: INXS”.
• Madonna – TODAY she appears on MTV’s “Total Request Live” to plug her new documentary, “I’m Going To Tell You A Secret” (airing FRIDAY) and her new album, due out NEXT MONTH.
• Melissa Etheridge – She’s revealed she used medical marijuana to help with the side effects of chemotherapy during her treatment for breast cancer.
• Nelly – He’s just received a star on the “St Louis Walk of Fame”. Other stars enshrined their include … um … er …
• U2 – Bono is denouncing US politicians for using “Vertigo” tour concerts to raise campaign funds. Both Democrat Hillary Clinton & Republican Rick Santorum are apparently selling luxury box seats at a jacked-up price that includes a meet-‘n-greet with the candidate.

CATOBER:
It’s a little known fact that OCTOBER is the biggest month on the cat calendar. First up was the 42nd annual “International Cat Show” in Lithuania which attracted 160 cats from all over. A highlight was the ‘Feline Fashion Show’ which included a ‘sailor cat’ and a ‘ballerina cat’. The overall winner was a 2-year-old from Poland. Next up was NYC’s “Cat Championship” at Madison Square Gardens. A Bluepoint Siamese called ‘Coby’ was ‘Best in Show’ in the beauty pageant, but ‘Wyndchymes Intrigue of Hajja’ (aka ‘Trixie’) won the ‘Feline Agility Competition’. The Japanese bobtail jumped through hoops, bounded up stairs and wove her way through tunnels on an obstacle course a full 5 seconds faster than the competition. Cat contests in Germany, Switzerland and British Columbia are still to come before the end of the month!
– PopBitch.com

FOR THE RECORD:
20-year-old Tyler Ing, an engineering student at the University of Western Ontario, has set the world record for – ‘World’s Longest Nipple Hair’. Yep, the yucky long black hair on his right nipple measures an amazing 8.89 cm (3.5 ins), long enough to make the “2006 Guinness Book of Records”. Ing says he has a few contenders growing on him, but that one’s the longest. (You can bet this guy’s a real party attraction … “C’mon Ing, show us your back now!”)
– “London Free Press”

WHERE HOLLYWOOD’S NUTS ARE STORED:
There’s a hot new celebrity mental health ward in Los Angeles called ‘Moonview Sanctuary’. The exclusive getaway is described as a psyche spa for the burned out, the depressed, and the anxious elite who want total anonymity and are willing to pony up $175,000 a year for the latest innovations in mental health … no insurance accepted. On of Moonview’s unique features is that it always seems empty because scheduling is arranged so that no client ever runs into another. (And the wall padding is all done in rich Corinthian leather!)
– “LA Times”

ICONS OF THE CENTURY:
To mark its 100th anniversary, show biz trade paper “Variety” has ranked the most important entertainers of the past hundred years. Here’s who it says are tops …
1. The Beatles
2. Louis Armstrong
3. Lucille Ball
4. Humphrey Bogart
5. Marlon Brando
6. Charlie Chaplin
7. James Dean
8. Marilyn Monroe
9. Mickey Mouse
10. Elvis Presley
– “Variety Special Edition Centenary Issue”

A BEER & A SMOKE – TOGETHER!
A German company has announced that it’s perfected the first beer which contains a dose of nicotine in order to really give you a nice buzz. ‘NicoShot’ is a beer which not only boasts 6.3% alcohol content but also 3 milligrams of nicotine. In a rare bit of German humor, the beer-maker actually claims the addition of nicotine isn’t designed to make the beer addictive – but to help smokers quit by lessening their craving for tobacco when they drink. Over time, the use of nicotine beer can be reduced and then stopped, claims a straight-faced spokesperson. (“I don’t get it tarbender, how do light this crap?”)
– “Curious Times”

DID YOU KNOW?
The words ‘chick flick’, ‘bikini wax’ and ‘brain freeze’ are now listed in “Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary”.

THE SAVIOR OF ENDANGERED SPECIES:
Viagra is helping save the reindeer! Huh? Yup, it seems Asian men who traditionally tried to treat impotence with sliced reindeer antlers as well as other bits of exotic and threatened animals are switching to Viagra, according to a University of Alaska biology study. The report finds that Hong Kong men are increasingly giving up traditional Chinese remedies such as seal penis, seahorse and green turtle eggs as a cure for erectile dysfunction in favor of more dramatic results produced by the little blue pill.
– “Anchorage Daily News”

BOND BY THE BOOK:
Producers of the upcoming ‘James Bond’ movie, “Casino Royale”, have axed the legendary ‘Miss Moneypenny’ character because she only fleetingly appears in Ian Fleming’s original novel. And the gadget guru ‘Q’, most recently played by John Cleese, will also be absent from the new movie. The movie-makers say the film will update the novel to today’s era but stick very closely to the original storyline.
A CHRONOLOGY OF JAMES BONDS:

1. Sean Connery (1962-71)
2. George Lazenby (1969)
3. Roger Moore (1973-85)
4. Timothy Dalton (1987-89)
5. Pierce Brosnan (1995-2002)
6. Daniel Craig (2005-????)
– Contact Music / “E! Online”

THE BULL SHEET 10.17.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [63] Gary Puckett, Hibbing MN, oldies singer (Gary Puckett & the Union Gap-“Young Girl”)

1942 [63] Jim Seals, Sidney TX, oldies singer (Seals & Crofts-“Summer Breeze”)

1948 [57] Margot Kidder, Yellowknife NWT, TV actress (‘Elaine Wainwright’ on CTV’s “Robson Arms”)/movie actress (‘Lois Lane’ in “Superman 1-4″)

1958 [47] Alan Jackson, Newnan GA, country singer (“USA Today”, “Don’t Rock the Jukebox”)

1963 [42] Norm Macdonald, Québec City QC, comedian/TV actor (Comedy Central’s “Back to Norm”, “Saturday Night Live” 1993-98)/movie actor (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”)

1971 [34] Chris Kirkpatrick, Clarion PA, washed-up pop singer (NSYNC-“Bye Bye Bye”, “Pop”)

1972 [33] Eminem (Marshall Mathers III), Kansas City MO, rapper in rehab (Trick Trick f/Eminem-“Welcome 2 Detroit”, “Stan”)/movie actor (“8 Mile”)

1972 [33] Wyclef Jean, La Plaine, Haiti, R&B/rap artist (Fugees-“Killing Me Softly”)

1977 [28] Sergio Andrade, Guatemala City, Guatemala, rock bassist (Lifehouse-“You & Me”, “Hanging By a Moment”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Gaudy Day”. Well, nice to see [co-host] is dressed for the occasion!

TODAY is “Hurricane Thanksgiving Day” in the Virgin Islands. Yeah, thanks a lot for Dennis and Emily, and Katrina, not to mention Rita … and oh, we loved Stan …

TODAY at sundown “Sukkot” begins, the 7-day Jewish festival that’s observed after the fasting and atonement of “Yom Kippur”. The word ‘sukkot’ means ‘booth’ and recalls the time when the Israelites lived in booths (or huts) in the desert during their journey to the promised land.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [10] 58 episodes of the classic TV show “The Monkees” are released on 21 videotapes in the ‘Largest Video Boxed Set’ ever

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [07] Barenaked Ladies single, “One Week”, hits #1 … for one week

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1968 [37] Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau introduces ‘Official Languages Act’, making English and French the country’s 2 official languages

1974 [31] 1st ‘Coast-to-Coast Run Across Canada’ (Mark Kent in 102 days)

1982 [23] 1st Russian player to score a goal in the NHL (Victor Nechaev, LA Kings)

1860 [145] 1st ‘Professional Golf Tournament’ held, in Scotland (Wee Willie Park wins)

1987 [18] 1st World Series game in a domed stadium (Minnesota Metrodome)

1989 [16] 1st World Series game cancelled by an earthquake (Game 3-Oakland in San Francisco)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [10] Jeanne Calment of France becomes ‘Oldest Living Person Whose Birth Date is Authenticated’ by living 120 years, 238 days (dies in August 1997)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Persons Day (Canada)
[Tues] No Beard Day
[Tues] “Batman Begins” released on DVD
[Wed] Saddam Hussein’s trial scheduled to begin
[Wed] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Fri] Babbling Day
[Fri] Reptile Day

THIS WEEK IS:
Getting The World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week / Kids Care Week / Teen Read Week / Character Counts Week / Chemistry Week / Food Bank Week / Forest Products Week / School Bus Safety Week / Freedom From Bullies at Work Week / Businesswomen’s Week / Health Education Week / Infection Control Week / World Rainforest Week

BULL’S BITS

REAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Archaeologist Finds Leprechaun Colony!”
• “White House Approves National Chain of Brothels!”
• “Aliens Moon NASA Spacecraft!”
• “WMDs in Canada?”
• “Chocolate Skyscraper Melts in Heat Wave!”
• “Hoboo! High Cost of Real Estate Forces Ghost Onto the Streets!”

BS ‘FIVE-IN-TEN GAME’:
Contestant gets 10 seconds to list 5 things in each category …
• 5 things you might spread on toast.
• 5 scary things associated with Halloween.
• 5 TV shows you regularly watch.
• 5 things sold in a grocery store’s produce department.
• 5 reasons to dump your partner.

BS WEB GOODIE:
The next time you need to phone a huge corporation and dread being caught in their phone menu maze, try the convenient ‘Find-A-Human’ service which shows you exactly which buttons to press in order to get through to an actual live person. For Canadian calls, click ‘Non USA Marketed’ under ‘View’. For instance, to bypass Bell Canada’s annoying automaton ‘Emily’, just say ‘manager’. To avoid being on hold at Telus Mobility, press ‘0′ five times.
NET: https://www.quickbase.com/db/bam6rdiey?a=q&qid=5

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’re average, you do THIS 13 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Laugh.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best things in the world are free … and worth every penny of it.

ON OUR SHEET LIST:
“BS” salutes Keith Ellert at The Rush  96.1 [CKRW] Whitehorse, Yukon who’s back for another full year of service; and we welcome samplers this week that include Augusto Tulba @ Island 98.5 [KDNN] Honolulu HI; Susie Clark @ Indiana 105 [WLJE] Valparaiso IN; Julie Jacobs @ Best Mix 106.7 [WKMX] Enterprise AL; and Dave Anthony @ Rock 105 The Dog [WWDG] Syracuse NY. As always BSers, we bonus you ONE MONTH FREE of service for each and every new subscriber you refer!


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