Tuesday, October 26, 2004        Edition: #2895
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

TODAY in Beverly Hills CA, Kabbalah leader Yehuda Berg’s “The Red String Book” will be launched with a star-studded party expected to be attended by Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and – of course – well known Kabbalah adherents Demi Moore & Aston Kutcher (advice to all attending – don’t drink the Kool-Aid!) . . . CBS-TV is holding an open casting call for someone to play Elvis Presley in its upcoming miniseries “Elvis”, stipulating candidates must be 18 to 33 years-old and prepared to sing 10 bars of any Elvis song (this is gonna make “American Idol” look like the Julliard School) . . . Actors Adam Brody & Rachel Bilson, who play onscreen lovers ‘Seth Cohen’ & ‘Summer Roberts’ on “The OC”, have secretly gotten engaged in real life and are said to be looking for an LA home together . . . Aging KISS singer Gene Simmons has a new gig – a UK-based reality TV show called “Rock School” in which he teaches 12-year-olds how to form a rock band (Jack Black should sue!) . . . Paris Hilton has developed yet another revenue stream – designing her own suite at the Aladdin Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas that will be rented out when she’s not using it (what a chintzy way to get comp-ed!) . . . Animal activist actress Pam Anderson has sent a PETA petition to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II, asking her to stop the use of bear-fur pelts in making the tall black helmets (‘busbies’) worn by Buckingham Palace guards (“Ahem Philip, just who the hell is this Pamela Anderson, anyway?”) . . . And this could be the very definition of reality TV hell – the next season of Germany’s version of “Big Brother” will be open-ended, running indefinitely without scheduled end, and will encompass an entire purpose-built town! (sounds about as exciting as your neighbor’s vacation videos).

• R Kelly & Jay-Z – TODAY their joint album “The Best of Both Worlds: Unfinished” is finally out, featuring 11 previously unreleased tracks.
• Eminem – He says he plans to vote NOVEMBER 2nd … for the first time … ever.
• Usher – A videotape is being shopped that purportedly shows him bumping uglies with 2 women. The recording is said to date back seven years to when he was 19. Ironically, TLC’s “Waterfalls” plays in the background. He now has an on & off relationship with TLC’s Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas.
• 50 Cent – He’s signed up to hawk ‘Formula 50′, a new grape-flavored water with 50% of the recommended daily vitamins.
• Five For Fighting – TONIGHT they’re on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.

• “White Chicks” (Crime Comedy – DVD): Keenen Ivory Wayans directs his brothers Shawn & Marlon Wayans who play disgraced FBI agents that way undercover as women in order to protect spoiled hotel heiresses the ‘Wilson Sisters’ from a kidnapping plot (a riff on Paris & Nicky Hilton).
• “Dawn of the Dead” (Horror Thriller – DVD/VHS): In this remake of the 1978 horror classic, the survivors of a worldwide plague that is producing flesh-hungry ‘undead’ take refuge in an abandoned, upscale suburban shopping mall. Toronto actress Sarah Polley co-stars with Ving Rhames. Shot in Toronto and Caledon ON. Available in the R-rated theatrical version and an unrated ‘Director’s Cut’ deemed too scary for theaters.

Among other factors, such as hormonal levels, a set of about 12 genes appear to influence the time you prefer to go to bed. There is such a range in preferred sleep time that ‘extreme larks’ (early risers) can be waking up just as ‘extreme owls’ (late nighters) hit the sack. People are generally good at guessing which bird best describes them, although few people are very strong examples of either. When do most of us rise and shine? According to a recent survey, 7 am is wake-up time for 27% of us, followed by 6 am (15%), and then 7:30 am (11%).
– “Times of London”

In what may be the most comprehensive study of driving distractions, over 2,700 vehicle accidents have been reviewed to determine specific cause. The driver distractions most often causing accidents in rural areas are driver fatigue, insects, animals, and unrestrained pets. In urban areas, drivers are most often distracted by rubbernecking, other vehicles, and cellphones.
– “VCU News”

Singapore plans to reward good drivers. The government has launched a ‘Road Courtesy Campaign’ urging drivers to consider acts of courtesy and consideration for others. ‘Spotters’ will monitor roads, watching for courteous drivers. Those who demonstrate good road behavior, such as signaling early, yielding, or waving to say thank-you, will be given souvenirs and prizes.

A poll finds men are more than twice as likely as women to doze off while driving. 27% of male respondents admit to having snoozed at the wheel at least once, compared to just 12% of women. (Now how ’bout some figures on applying makeup while driving?)
– “US News & World Report”

• 43% of large corporations now employ staff to monitor employees’ outbound e-mail, spurred mainly by the fear that workers might leak sensitive corporate information.
• Boston College sociology professor Juliet Schor estimates typical employees now work 200 more hours per year than their counterparts did 30 years ago.

A new study of more than a 1,000 women by researchers at New Jersey’s Robert Wood Johnson Medical School finds this shocking fact –  1 out of 3 women have very little desire for sex. The study, presented at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine annual meeting also suggests that low sexual desire is affecting women’s relationships. (Ya think?)

“Maxim” magazine has polled university women to get a snapshot of campus sex life. The complete results appear in the new issue which hits newsstands TODAY. Some highlights …
• 73% have performed oral in a vehicle … while it was moving.
• 69% have had relations in their dorm room … while female roommates were still present.
• 52% have made out with another woman.
• 46% have engaged in threesomes.
(Okay, about 82,000 parents just had heart attacks …)
– “Maxim” magazine.

Former “Star Trek” actor William Shatner is preparing to make a real-life trip away from Earth, after signing up to take a Virgin Galactic flight into space. He and rocker Dave Navarro are among more than 7,000 who’ve expressed interest in Virgin Airlines’ proposed commercial space flights. The 3.5-hour flights, which will include 6 minutes of weightlessness, will cost passengers some $210,000 each. Virgin boss Richard Branson says the huge response seems to show the company’s gamble on space tourism may pay off. Flights are scheduled to begin by 2008.
– World Entertainment News

• A York PA man has confessed to walking into a bank wearing a Halloween mask and robbing a teller of over $2,000. His day job? Kindergarten teacher.
•  A German airport has been brought to a standstill – by a playful pooch. ‘Lumpi’, a Bobtail Terrier escaped his transport cage and joyfully dashed around the runway at Dusseldorf Airport, halting flights for 30 minutes while security forces ran around playing dogcatcher.
• A Douglasville GA woman came home from an extended vacation in Greece to find a stranger living in her home, wearing her clothes, changing utilities into her name and even renovating rooms she didn’t like. Seems the 54-year-old squatter broke into the empty house and started acting like it was her own. She’s been charged with burglary.
• Inhabitants of a small Romanian village deserted town after seeing bright, multicolored lights in the sky and fearing an alien invasion was underway. As the villagers fled, police were called in to investigate the lights, and found they were part of an open-air disco erected in a nearby town.
• After marrying 52 different wives, a 72-year-old Malaysian man has once again tied the knot with his first wife, whom he wed in 1957. Although some of his marriages lasted only a few days, he did manage to stick with one wife for 20 years before she died of cancer. After her death, he decided to ask his first wife for a second chance and she accepted. Despite marrying 52 different women, Kamaruddin Mohammed claims, “I am not a playboy, I just love seeing beautiful women.”

“I’m totally against it and offended by it. I’m going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I’d never lip-synch. It’s just not me.”
– Ashlee Simpson denouncing lip-syncing in a “Lucky Magazine” interview, several months BEFORE her weekend fiasco on “SNL”.


1946 [58] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1946 [58] Ivan Reitman, Komarmo SLOV [raised in Canada], movie producer/director (“Six Days Seven Nights”, “Animal House”)  UP NEXT: “The Pink Panther” remake, and the “Untitled Trailer Park Boys Project”.

1947 [57] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US Senator (Democrat-NY since 2001)/former US First Lady (1992-2000)

1963 [41] Natalie Merchant, Jamestown NY, classic rock singer (“Jealousy”, “Carnival”)/former 10,000 Maniacs lead

1967 [37] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (“You’re My Better Half”, “But for the Grace of God”)  FACTOID: JANUARY 22nd he’ll auction off his beloved $78,000 357 Customs Chopper motorcycle at the annual ‘Max It Out for Meningitis’ fundraiser in Nashville.

TODAY is “International Red Cross Day” in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland.

THIS WEEK is the week-long “Random Acts of Poetry” in Canada, as 27 poets in cities across the country have signed on to help raise awareness of their art form in everyday places, such as hair salons, streetcars, parks and schools. So don’t be surprised if a complete stranger walks up to you and starts reciting verse aloud, or hands over a volume of poetry … gratis!
NET: http://www.abebooks.com/docs/randomactsofpoetry

2002 [02] Teeny-bop singer Jessica Simpson weds boy-band singer Nick Lachey (leading to MTV show “Newlyweds” and more fame and money than either deserve)

1970 [34] “Doonesbury” comic strip by Garry Trudeau debuts in 28 newspapers

1975 [29] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)

1982 [22] ‘Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame’ organized in Toronto (permanent site in St Mary’s ON includes regulation diamond nicknamed ‘Field of Dreams’)

1990 [14] 1st NHLer to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)

[Wed] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Thurs] National Chocolate Day
[Fri] Hermit Day
[Sat] Devils Night / Mischief Night
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am)
[Sun] Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
This Week Is . . . Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week
This Month Is . . . Cosmetology Month (honoring those who make a living off hair and nails)


Psychologists say Halloween is an occasion for people to either dress up as someone they like and want to emulate, or someone they hate and want to mock. According to a panel of experts, here’s what various costume types say about the wearer …
• Animals: May represent some real aspect of a person’s identity, or some admired animal characteristic. May be chosen as a symbol of one’s essential nature or potential.
• Comic/Cartoon Characters: Represents whimsy, playfulness and youth. Chosen by people who want to leave their serious nature behind for awhile.
• Evil Characters: These allow people to safely express their dark side without guilt. May be used to consciously or unconsciously alienate others, indicating vulnerability and anxiety about intimacy.
• Sexy Characters (French maids, hot nurses, hos, etc): Often someone expressing repressed sexuality. An opportunity for very reserved people to display their sensuality.
• Celebrities: Wearers may use them to express personality traits or social issues that are associated with the celebrity’s image (intelligence, power, corruption, rebellion, etc).
• Scary Characters (zombies, vampires, skeletons, monsters, etc): Shows a fascination with the macabre, the grotesque. Death has always been something we are afraid of, yet drawn to.
• Innocents (fairies , princesses, etc): Represents one’s lost innocence or beauty, or a desire to return to a safer and simpler time.
• Powerful Characters: These offer a fantasy of omnipotence. They can express underlying feelings of helplessness and insecurity.
– “Seattle Post-Intelligencer”

For 16 years, Angel Santiago has been selling roller skates – for parrots. His company, Parrot Mountain, now manufactures them in 3 sizes. Is there a big demand for this? And why should your parrot learn to roller skate anyway?
PHONER: 800.362.8183 (Shrewsbury NJ)
NET: http://www.parrotmountain.com

Haven’t you always wanted to be a vengeful, angry God? “You are God. Your people have angered you greatly and deserve to be punished. Punish away, oh great one!” So begins the game of “Wrath”, a basically cheesy yet highly amusing game in which you, as God, throw bolts of lightning at the puny humans below.
NET: http://www.no-god.com/game/wrath.swf

• When you go to court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
• On your mark. Get set. Go back to bed!

Today’s Question: 80% of women say they prefer to do THIS in the dark.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Watch scary movies.

Too may freaks, not enough circuses.

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