Thursday, October 14, 2004        Edition: #2887
Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Hot Hollywood couple Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner have been spotted attending the NYC Ballet, looking very happy together though a tad perturbed at the amount of attention they were getting (seems Ben’s gone uptown since his last Jen) . . . Actor Jim Carrey is now an American citizen (while he’ll retain dual citizenship, he’s actually now lived there longer than he lived in Canada) . . . The publicist for actor Brad Pitt is refuting claims his marriage to Jennifer Aniston is floundering because he’s having an affair with his “Mr & Mrs Smith” co-star Angelina Jolie, calling the “News of the World” report – quote – ‘made up and stupid’ (alrighty then!) . . . Actor Jamie Foxx (“Ray”) has signed a deal with J Records and his first album in the contemporary R&B vein  is expected to be to be released in 2005 . . . Three former high school classmates of movie director Richard Linklater have filed a lawsuit in New Mexico claiming they’ve suffered ‘embarrassment and ridicule’ because of characters based on them in his 1993 movie “Dazed and Confused” (yeah, apparently they just noticed 11 years later when they ran into the 2 people who have actually seen the film).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rod Stewart – He’s set to release his 3rd collection of standards, “Stardust …The Great American Songbook: Volume III”, featuring covers of “Night and Day” and “Blue Moon” among others.
• Wynonna Judd – TONIGHT she kicks off her 20th anniversary tour, titled “Her Story: Scenes From a Lifetime”, in Madison WI.
• JoJo – The 13-year-old pop singer is currently awaiting the results of a screen-test audition she took alongside Julia Roberts’ niece Emma for an as-yet-unnamed new movie project.
• Celine Dion – TODAY she’s on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”.
• Alanis Morissette – She’s among the guest stars set to appear on the 3rd season of NBC-TV’s 1960s drama “American Dreams”, playing a folk singer performing her original composition “Feast on Scraps”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Rocker Marilyn Manson says he’s studying early Joan Crawford films in order to play the role of the ‘Queen Of Hearts’ in a new movie version of the “Alice In Wonderland” story to be called “Living in Neon Dreams” . . . 1980s TV show “The A-Team” is set to be adapted to the bigscreen and the original ‘Mr T’ may return for a cameo appearance . . . Nicole Kidman is in talks to join Russell Crowe in the Australian fable “Eucalyptus”, about a widower who will not allow his daughter to wed until her suitor can correctly identify thousands of species of eucalyptus trees on his estate . . . Johnny Depp will produce and star in “Shantaram”, the story of a man who escapes a high security prison in Australia and flees to India . . . George Clooney is being lined up to star as detective ‘Guy Noir’ alongside Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin & Lyle Lovett in a Robert Altman movie based on Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home Companion” NPR radio show.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo –
• ‘MVVDs’ (‘Mass Volume Vertical Drinkers’) –  A new expression coming into vogue in London that refers to young people who are never seated in posh bars or popular pubs but stand in large groups, swigging straight from bottles.
• ‘Adultescent’ – A middle-aged person who continues to participate in and enjoy youth culture, ie: video games. Also known as a ‘kidult’.
• ‘Crackberry’ – A BlackBerry handheld computer used obsessively, or the person who uses one obsessively. (“You can give up having a conversation with her over dinner, she’s a crackberry.”)

WHY WE LIVE IN PIG STIES:
• 54% of women say men are messier than women. 48% of men agree.
• 51% blame lack of time for lack of cleanliness.
• 45% say there’s more to life than cleaning.
• 41% of us admit we don’t clean as well as we used to, and MUCH less than our mothers.
• 25% say cleaning just isn’t high on the priority list.
• 14% say there’s no point in cleaning since things just get dirty again anyway.
• 13% would rather go to the dentist than clean the house.
– Opinion Research Corp International

EASIEST JOBS:
Britain’s Manchester University has rated the stress factor of various professions. The most stressful occupations are ‘miner‘ and ‘police officer’. The least stressful jobs – ‘astronomer’ and ‘librarian’. However, a Washington DC-based career consultant says the least stressful jobs are ‘sleeper’ (people who nap while researchers study sleep patterns), ‘lotion tester’ (people who test sunscreens by lying in the sun), and ‘toy enjoyment controller’ (hired by toy makers to play with toys all day and figure out which are likely to become popular with children).
– “Health Magazine”

SOCIAL STUDIES:
• Bad breath may be worst first thing in the morning, but also peaks in late afternoon. (After lunch at “Mama Rosa’s Garlic Buffet.”)
– “Glamour”
• We’re more likely to be turned on by movie sex scenes if the characters involved are strangers rather than married. (Just like real life.)
– “Woman’s Own”
• Three small snacks are healthier than one big meal after a strenuous workout. (Hmm, how many Twinkies in a package?)
– “Running Research”
• Nearly half of all mothers of toddlers show signs of depression. (5 hours of “SpongeBob SquarePants” a day would drive anyone to Prozac.)
– “Washington Post”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• 27% of Democrats and 23% of Republicans have a tattoo.
• Humans are born with 300 bones in their body, however when a person reaches adulthood they only have 206 bones. This occurs because many of them join together to make a single bone.

THE BULL SHEET 10.14.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [78] Winnie-the-Pooh, Hundred-Acre Wood, silly old bear, classic AA Milne character introduced in book titled simply, “Winnie-the-Pooh”

1927 [77] Sir Roger Moore, London UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-1985 including “A View to a Kill”, “The Spy Who Loved Me”)

1939 [65] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (CK Jeans)

1974 [30] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Landslide”, “Wide Open Spaces”)
 
1978 [26] Usher (Raymond), Chattanooga TN, pop/R&B singer (& Alicia Keys–“My Boo”, “Yeah”)

1996 [08] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, Madonna’s daughter via fitness trainer Carlos Leon

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Be Bald & Be Free Day”, a day to hang up the old wig or toupée and be shiny and proud. Which celebrities wear the worst and most-obvious toupées? What are the advantages of being bald? (Money saved on haircuts, shampoo, conditioner, combs, etc.)

TODAY is “National Frump Day,” honoring the world’s largest silent majority – those average, unpretentious, regular folks. (You know … riffraff.)

TODAY is “National Train Your Brain Day,” a day to ‘clean out the cobwebs, blast through the barriers and click on the light bulbs’ because humans use only a small percentage of their brain power.

TODAY & tomorrow is the “Quarrel (or Rough House) Festival” in Japan when people jostle one another to demonstrate their skill and balance in handling burdens. (Impress the boss by giving her a cross-body block today.)

Why is this period of warm weather in Autumn called “Indian Summer”? No one really knows for sure. The first usage is attributed to Frenchman St John de Crevecoeur, who wrote in a 1778 letter about the “calm and warmth which is called Indian Summer”. There are several possible explanations for the name, one being that this was a good time for American Indians to hunt because the mild weather encouraged animals to come out and the haziness of the air gave hunters an advantage.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1916 [88] 1st ‘nude movie scene’ (Annette Kellerman in “Daughter of the Gods”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1947 [57] 1st ‘supersonic flight’ (Chuck Yeager reaches mach 1.015 in Bell XS-1 nicknamed ‘Glamorous Glennis’)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1990 [14] ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald successfully executes 21,663 loops with a yo-yo in 3 hours (Toronto ON)

1993 [11] Largest-ever lasagna weighs 8,188 lbs and measures 70 feet x 7 feet (Salinas CA)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Grouch Day
[Fri] Poetry Day
[Fri] Ramadan begins (Islam)
[Sat] Dictionary Day
[Sat] Bosses Day
[Sun] Gaudy Day
[Mon] Persons Day (Canada)
[Mon] No Beard Day
This Week Is . . . International Pinball Week
This Month Is . . . Alternate History Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WIFE:

• “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Heidi Klum had a baby.”
• “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever.”
• “I finished the Oreos.”
• “Al at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that’s gotta hurt.”
• “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 40 pounds.”
• “Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”
• “Geez, you’re awfully puffy-looking today.”
• “Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!”
• “Got milk?”
• “You don’t have the guts to pull that trigger.”

ALL-TIME BEST MOVIE GANGSTERS:
1. Marlon Brando as ‘Don Vito Corleone’ in “The Godfather” (1972).
2. Robert De Niro as ‘Vito Corleone’ in “The Godfather II” (1974).
3. Ray Liotta as ‘Henry Hill’ in “Goodfellas” (1990).
4. Robert De Niro as ‘Al Capone’ in “The Untouchables” (1987).
5. James Cagney as ‘Rocky Sullivan’ in “Angels With Dirty Faces” (1938).
– Newly-released UCI Cinemas poll.

BS INTERVIEWS:
• Vancouver’s La Casa Gelato ice cream parlor has more than 500 flavors – 208 of which are available at any given time, including curry, wasabi-green apple, Indian mango, corn, garlic, vinegar, blue cheese, and Guinness Stout. Owner Vince Miscero started the parlor back in 1982 and added a variety of flavors to please customers from various parts of the world. Ask about famous people who’ve stopped in and what flavors he’s developing for the future.
PHONER: 604.251.3211 or 604.251.6958 (La Casa Gelato By International Ice Cream Factory)
• Now you can get cooking lessons from a master chef – right in your own kitchen. Toronto-area chef Million Ephrem will teach you and a friend the fine points of haute cuisine in your home. No worries if you only have a saucepan and a microwave – he brings along his own stove! So what’s all this cost? And what delicacies will you be able to concoct after a lesson or two?
PHONER: 905.827.4233 (Oakville ON)
• The town of Creston BC wants to lure tourists – with a 3-meter statue of a Sasquatch carrying a case of Kokanee beer. Town council was ready to foot half the bill but citizens circulated a petition saying it’s a commercial venture and they don’t want to pay for it. Now it looks like a private contractor will pay the town’s half and the Columbia Brewing Co the rest. (Are they trying to get on “Corner Gas” or what?)
PHONER: 250.428.2214 (Town Hall) or 250.428.4342 (Chamber of Commerce)

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online –
1. Usher – “My Boo”
2. Ciara – “Goodies”
3. Green Day – “American Idiot”
4. Trick Daddy – “Let’s Go”
5. Maroon 5 – “She Will Be Loved”
– BigChampagne online music measurement.

BS ‘THIS OR THAT THURSDAY’:
Have a listener or studio guest take their pick from each pairing while you list ‘em off rapid fire …
• Corn Flakes or hot oatmeal?
• “Shark Tale” or “Friday Night Lights”?
• Regular coffee or espresso?
• Designer jogging outfit or designer 3-piece suit?
• Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
• Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman?
• Blueberry pancakes with heated maple syrup or 3-cheese & mushroom omelette?
• Candlelight dinner at home or a night on-the-town dancing?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• A little boy at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”
His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
• [Co-host] had a bad date on the weekend. He told her that her stockings were wrinkled. Trouble was, she wasn’t wearing any.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: We eat an average of 46 of THESE every year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Slices of pizza.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s not the world that’s got so much worse but the news coverage that’s got so much better.


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