Tuesday, October 14, 2003        Edition: #2643
More From the Bovine Stool Dispenser!

LAST NIGHT in the biggest-ever flash-mob event (called “Flashblaine”), a mob was encouraged to gather beneath magician David Blaine dangling over the Thames in London, play their cellphone ringtones, chant ‘What goes up must come down’, laugh maniacally, hold an item of food in the air, then disperse after 3 minutes . . . TODAY “Just Because I’m a Woman” hits music stores, an all-star, all-female tribute album to Dolly Parton featuring Shania Twain, Norah Jones, and Alison Krauss & Union Station among others . . . ‘Claymates’ will be thrilled that “American Idol” runner-up Clay Aiken’s 1st CD, “Measure Of A Man”, is finally out (yeah, when I’m measuring up a man, I think of Clay immediately) . . . Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson & Sheryl Crow will appear at a musical tribute to the late Johnny Cash in Nashville NEXT MONTH, and organizers say they’re also talking to Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen & Bono . . . Brit music industry insiders are buzzing that a Spice Girls reunion will happen NEXT YEAR . . . 21-year-old Britney Spears tells Germany’s “Bild” newspaper she wants to have a baby by age 28 at the latest (then quit kissing Madonna!) . . . Pink and “Terminator 3″ movie babe Kristanna Loken have been spotted openly making out in a packed nightclub at a “World Music Awards” party . . . Nicole Kidman has been spotted sporting a rock on her engagement finger while on-the-town in NYC with ‘friend’ Lenny Kravitz . . . 34-year-old Catherine Zeta Jones says she will never divorce 59-year-old hubby Michael Douglas because “it’s in her genes” to stay married for life (yeah, well his have a lot less life left than yours). 

• “The Matrix Reloaded” (Sci-fi Thriller – DVD/VHS): Keanu Reeves returns as ‘Neo’, who has 72 hours to prevent 250,000 probes from discovering ‘Zion’ and destroying its inhabitants. Just in time to hype the premiere of the 3rd “Matrix” chapter coming in 3 weeks, this 2-disc, 2nd movie package includes behind-the-scenes footage, interviews, and ‘making-of’ specials.
• “Wrong Turn” (Horror – DVD): A carload of teens find themselves trapped in the woods of West Virginia, hunted down by cannibalistic mountain men grossly disfigured through generations of in-breeding.
• There’s also a ‘Collector’s Edition‘ DVD of 1989’s “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier”, and a new ‘30th Anniversary Edition’ DVD of the 1974 low-budget horror classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”.

• Dutch priest Stefan van Dierendonck has quit the church because he’s allergic to the gluten in wafers used during communion. After the Catholic Church refused to allow him to use gluten-free wafers, he threw in the towel saying it forced him to choose between his faith and his health.
• Winnipeg artist Aliza Amihude is getting flack for using a $5,000 Manitoba Arts Council grant to create jewelry made from –  toenail clippings. Her now-showing art exhibit includes a toenail-clipping bracelet that sells for $300. If that’s not your taste, she also makes ‘art works’ from dead insects, mouse poop … and pubic hair.
• A small single-engine plane has crashed near a wedding party in central Serbia, apparently brought down by – celebratory rounds fired off by wedding guests with guns. The pilot and passenger survived but were seriously injured.

Why is the period of warm weather in Autumn called “Indian Summer”? No one really knows for sure. The first usage is attributed to Frenchman St John de Crevecoeur, who wrote in a 1778 letter about the “calm and warmth which is called Indian Summer”. There are several possible explanations for the name, one being that this was a good time for Indians to hunt because the mild weather encouraged animals to come out and the haziness of the air gave hunters an advantage.

Highlights of a new survey on television viewing habits by DirecTV –
• 52% leave the room as soon as ads come on.
• 37% say they couldn’t manage more than 2 days without watching TV.
• 36% turn on the TV within 15 minutes of getting home.
• 7% watch TV for 11 hours at a time.
• 1% like to watch TV naked.

A new occupation called ‘benriya’ or ‘convenience doer’ has become popular in Japan. it’s someone who does all the stuff for you that you don’t want to do yourself – taking out garbage, removing household pests, basically whatever the client wants and is willing to pay for. Some  benriya have even been hired to appear in shorthanded wedding parties. It’s estimated there are about 5,000 benriya in Japan and business is booming, perhaps because people are no longer comfortable asking friends, relatives or neighbours to help them solve problems.

Most people remember an average of 1 or 2 dreams per week. About 60% of dreams are unpleasant.


1926 [77] Winnie-the-Pooh, Hundred-Acre Wood, silly old bear, classic AA Milne character introduced in book titled simply, “Winnie-the-Pooh”

1927 [76] Sir Roger Moore, London UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-1985 including “A View to a Kill”, “For Your Eyes Only”, “Live & Let Die” & “The Spy Who Loved Me”)

1939 [64] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (CK Jeans)

1974 [29] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Landslide”, “Wide Open Spaces”)  FACTOID: The group’s name comes from the Little Feat song “Dixie Chicken”.

1978 [25] Usher (Raymond), Chattanooga TN, pop/R&B singer (“U Got It Bad”, “You Make Me Wanna”)

1996 [07] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, Madonna’s daughter via fitness trainer Carlos Leon  FACTOID: Madonna calls her ‘Lola’.

TODAY is “Be Bald & Be Free Day”, a day to hang up the old wig or toupée and be shiny and proud. Which celebrities wear the worst and most-obvious toupées?

TODAY is “National Frump Day,” honoring the world’s largest silent majority – those average, unpretentious, regular folks. (You know … riffraff.)

TODAY is “National Train Your Brain Day,” a day to ‘clean out the cobwebs, blast through the barriers and click on the light bulbs’ because humans use only a small percentage of their brain power.

TODAY & tomorrow is the “Quarrel (or Rough House) Festival” in Japan when people jostle one another to demonstrate their skill and balance in handling burdens. (Impress the boss by giving her a cross-body block today.)

1916 [87] 1st ‘nude movie scene’ (Annette Kellerman in “Daughter of the Gods”)

1947 [56] 1st ‘supersonic flight’ (Chuck Yeager reaches mach 1.015 in Bell XS-1 nicknamed ‘Glamorous Glennis’)

1990 [13] ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald successfully executes 21,663 loops with a yo-yo in 3 hours (Toronto)

1993 [10] Largest-ever lasagna weighs 8,188 lbs and measures 70ft x 7ft (Salinas CA)

[Wed] National Grouch Day
[Thurs] World Food Day
[Fri] Gaudy Day
[Sat] No Beard Day
[Sun] National Bosses Day
This Week Is . . . International Pinball Week
This Month Is . . . Alternate History Month


• You already lost your ability to be cool when you turned 20 anyway.
• Your memory’s starting to go so you don’t have to drink as much to forget how old you are.
• Your college loans are paid off, so now you can start on the mortgage and credit cards.
• It’s still not entirely creepy when you’re attracted to a 19-year-old.
• You finally get to drop the charade of trying to fit all those candles on the same damn cake.
• Wow, you get to join a whole new demographic group for marketing surveys!
• Hey, at least you aren’t 31.

The week’s most requested music files online –
1. Beyonce Knowles – “Baby Boy”
2. 50 Cent – “PIMP”
3. The Ataris – “Boys Of Summer”
4. Chingy – “Right Thurr”
5. Pharrell – “Frontin”
Source: Big Champagne

Have a listener or studio guest take their pick from each pairing while you list ‘em off rapid fire  –
• Coffee – black or double-double?
• Licorice – black or red?
• “Kill Bill” or “School of Rock”?
• “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” or “Trading Spaces”?
• Faith or Shania?
• Clay or Reuben?
• Hot gooey cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven or crunchy granola with fresh strawberries?
• Mp3s or vintage vinyl LPs?
• Soft, warm fleecy pajamas straight out of the clothes dryer or naked as a jaybird?
• Big noisy family reunion or intimate dinner for two?

“You need a video for a romantic date. Which is the best to rent and why?”

Q: What did “Busy Man’s Magazine” change its name to in 1911?
A: “Maclean’s”.

Q: By what name was Nunavut’s capital Iqaluit previously know?
A: Frobisher Bay, until 1987.

Q: Which non-religious organization has the most members in Canada?
A: The Canadian Automobile Association or CAA, which boasts about 4 million members.
Source: “Great Canadian Book of Lists”

• Scientists have discovered that the fastest animal on Earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
• My computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!
• I hate those TV shows where they do house renovations in like an hour. As we all know – home wasn’t built in a day.
• As she lay there dozing next to him, one voice inside his head kept saying, “Relax, you”re not the first doctor to sleep with a patient”, but then another kept reminding him, “Hang on, you”re a veterinarian!”

“Men’s Health” magazine studied 101 cities across America and picked the best per capita in several categories. See if you can guess the matching city for each –
• ‘Most Beautiful Women’ [Honolulu HI]
• ‘Most Balding Men’ [Atlanta GA]
• ‘Least Healthy’ [Memphis TN]
• ‘Most Men Who Live to Be 100′ [Springfield OR]
• ‘Most Men Dying of Heart Disease’ [NYC]
• ‘Most Men Who Work Out’ [San Francisco/San Jose CA]
• ‘Best Quality of Life’ [Madison WI]

Ever wonder how much you’ve drunk in your lifetime? Let the online ‘Drinkometer’ work it out.
36-years-old, 87,360 total beers, $419,328 spent and there goes your 2-and-a-half Ferraris. You are rated ‘Ozzy Osbourne’.
NET: http://www.iondesign.net/drinkometer

Today’s Question: 41% of us, both men & women, admit we do this MUCH less than our mothers.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Clean the house.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

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