Thursday, October 10, 2002        Edition: #2396
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

TODAY MTV premieres Madonna’s new video “Die Another Day”, title track of the new ‘James Bond’ film coming NOVEMBER 22 . . . Madonna’s new film “Swept Away” (opening TOMORROW) has been snakebit from the get-go and now actor Vincent D’Onofrio (“The Cell”) is claiming the idea to remake the film was his and has asked for a court injunction preventing the movie’s release (oops, maybe NOT opening tomorrow), but his request was denied by a judge (yup, opening tomorrow) . . . Britney Spears’ Manhattan restaurant NYLA is apparently having financial difficulties, suddenly laying off 5 employees – with no notice (geez, they think they’re in radio or what?) . . . Jerry Hall has split with her wealthy lover after arguments over her relationship with former husband Mick Jagger (guess he didn’t like the time-share agreement) . . . Word is 58-year-old ‘70s soul legend Barry White (“Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe”) has suffered a massive stroke that’s left him partially paralyzed . . . Reese Witherspoon’s 29-year-old brother, John, who worked as her as her chauffeur during the filming of “Sweet Home Alabama”, has been arrested and charged with burglary and sexual battery after sneaking into a neighbor’s house . . . Cris Judd, the former Mr Jennifer Lopez, has hired an agent and is looking for an acting gig, preferably in a sitcom (hey, you lived one, buddy!) . . . “The Jackson Family: The True Story of the Most Powerful Family in the Music Industry”, a new book by LaToya Jackson’s ex-, Jack Gordon, alleges that Michael Jackson took part in strange monkey-abusing voodoo ceremonies and that he PAID both Debbie Rowe and Lisa Marie Presley $15 million to marry him (forget about reading the rest – Gordon can’t find a publisher willing to believe this BS!).

James Earl Jones has revealed that “Star Wars” fans will hear him again in “Episode III” (coming in 2005) as he again provides the voice for ‘Darth Vader’ as he did in the original trilogy . . . In an as-yet-untitled upcoming Harrison Ford/Josh Hartnett cop flick, Lou Diamond Phillips will play an undercover officer who poses as – a female hooker (what a drag, man) . . . An MTV made-for-TV movie will chronicle the rise and fall of Shawn Fanning, who created the music-swapping Napster Website in his college dorm room as a teen (the movie will last longer than his career) . . . Patrick Stewart is warning Trekkies to bring along a hankie to “Star Trek: Nemesis” when it opens NEXT YEAR because it’s ‘very emotional’ (‘Commander Data’ falls in love with a food processor!) . . . And here’s a couple really lame ideas – BBC is making a movie based on the autobiography of “Weakest Link” host Anne Robinson, and the video game “Doom” is being developed into a bigscreen movie (proving Hollywood is not only out of ideas, but apparently also doing a lot of crack).

University of London scientists say that getting up early can leave you stressed-out for the whole day and make you more susceptible to colds and flu. Early risers tend to be busier and suffer greater hassles, leading to more anger and less energy at the end of the day. On the other hand, late risers tend to be calmer, more laid back, and thus, more fit. The research team discovered a link between the time people get up and their levels of the stress hormone cortisol. (This goes a long way to explaining the divorce rate among morning radio people, doesn’t it?)

What cold medications do pediatricians give their own kids? A survey in “Good Housekeeping” magazine finds that most pediatricians give their kids – NOTHING. 62% say they believe in ‘minimal intervention’ in cases of minor illness and 38% think many parents over-medicate their children. (The reason for ‘superbugs’ – we’re overusing antibiotics to the point where they’re becoming ineffective.)

THIS WEEK is “National Pet Peeve Week”. Here’s a few of the things that really tick people off, according to a “Men’s Health” magazine survey –  telemarketers (64%), lousy drivers (63%), and products that break or don’t work (57%).

A new ‘anti-flatulence vaccine’ for livestock is being developed which may help cut down on greenhouse gas emissions. It works by reducing the amount of gut organisms which produce methane during digestion. Methane currently accounts for about 14% of greenhouse gases, much of it attributed to livestock. A number of vaccines have been tested on sheep in Australia and a vaccine for cattle is now in the works. (Much more efficient than the old method – standing behind farm animals with a Bic lighter.)

Researchers have discovered that grapefruit juice has a unique ability to increase the potency of many drugs that are taken with it. (“Dude! My folks are away for the long weekend – grab a can of Minute Maid and come on over!”)

Scientists at Cornell University have tested the best ways to remove some 250 different kinds of stains but discovered there are some stains that can NOT be removed, no matter what you try. They include – stomach acid (heave!), old urine stains (awwww, relief!) and acne medication (“Like, are you sure we should be doing this?”). (Looks like [your co-host] can say sayonara to his carpet after that party on the weekend!)

A University of California study confirms that couples in long marriages actually grow happier as they grow older. The main reasons – they learn to better express affection, and how to disagree without hurting each other’s feelings. (And eventually they can’t even remember who that other person is that’s wandering around the living room.)


1955 [47] David Lee Roth, Bloomington IN, has-been rock singer (“Just a Gigolo”, Van Halen-“Jump”)

1959 [43] Bradley Whitford, Madison WI, TV actor (Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman-“The West Wing”)/married to “Malcolm in the Middle” mom Jane Kaczmarek

1967 [35] Mike Malinin, Washington DC, rock musician (Goo Goo Dolls-“Big Machine”, “Iris”)

1969 [33] Brett Favre, Kiln MS, NFL QB (Green Bay Packers)/1996 Super Bowl Champion/3-time NFL MVP  FACTOID: Although it looks like ‘fah-vruh’ or maybe even ‘fay-ver,’ for some unknown reason it’s pronounced ‘farv’. Must be some kind of Cajun thing!

1972 [30] Dean Roland, Stockbridge GA, rock singer/guitarist (Collective Soul-“Shine”, “December”)

1974 [28] Dale Earnhardt Jr (‘Junior’, ‘Little E’), Concord NC, NASCAR Winston Cup driver/son of legendary 7-time Winston Cup champ Dale Earnhardt/scored his first Daytona victory just 5 months after his father was killed there in the final lap of the 2001 “Daytona 500″/one of “People” magazines ‘50 Most Eligible Bachelors of 2002′

1979 [23] Mya (Harrison), Washington DC, pop/R&B singer (w/Christina Aguilera, Pink and Li’l Kim-“Lady Marmalade”)/movie actress (“Moulin Rouge”, “Atlantis: The Lost Empire”)  UP NEXT: Has a role in the bigscreen version of the musical “Chicago”, coming in DECEMBER

TODAY is “National Dessert Day”. What’s the absolute yummiest, most decadent, sinfully fattening dessert you can think of? Now why can’t you enjoy it without any guilt just once this year? No matter what you come up with, it can’t possibly compare to these recently-developed concoctions – ‘Deep-Fried Mars Bars’ have become a popular treat in Scotland, while at this year’s Los Angeles County Fair vendors were selling 3-dollar ‘Deep-Fried Snickers Bars’ – on a stick. A Brooklyn restaurant has even come up with a ‘Deep-Fried Twinkie’ that’s rolled in flour, dipped in tempura batter and deep-fried in hot oil. It’s then sprinkled with powdered sugar and served with chocolate or berry sauce. (Ulp, maybe I’ll pass on the Tim-Bits this morning.)

TODAY “Royal Visit 2002″ continues as QE2 visits Sheridan College in Oakville ON, does a presentation of colors at Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, then returns to Toronto for an evening Gala Performance at Roy Thompson Hall.

TOMORROW-October 19th is the 34th annual “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’. It also features the largest “Thanksgiving Day Parade” in Canada.
PHONER: 888-294-HANS

1962 “Monster Mash” by Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett & the Crypt Kickers hits #1

10 YEARS AGO . . .
1992 kd lang’s “Constant Craving” tops pop charts across Canada

1886 [116] 1st appearance of a ‘tuxedo’ as Griswold Lorillard wears a coat with satin lapels to a ball in Tuxedo Park NY (unlike Jackie Chan’s “Tuxedo”, it does not enable him to sing and dance like James Brown)

1923 [79] 1st baseball teams to play in 3 consecutive World Series (NYC’s Giants & Yankees)

1933 [69] 1st packaged ‘laundry detergent’ (Procter & Gamble’s ‘Dreft’)

1976 [26] Greece’s 98-year-old Dimitrion Yordanidis becomes oldest to ever complete a marathon (7 hours, 33 minutes)

[Fri] National Coming Out Day
[Fri] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
[Fri] Emergency Room Nurses Day
[Sat] Farmers Day
[Sat] World Egg Day
[Mon] Columbus Day
[Mon] Canadian Thanksgiving Day (no BS service)
This Week is – International Letter Writing Week (when’s the last time you wrote one – with pen and paper?)
This Month is – Kitchen & Bath Month / Vegetarian Awareness Month


Here’s some gender-specific lists condensed from multiple pages of several articles in the online men’s magazine They’re guaranteed to start a battle of the sexes and get  phones flashing as your listeners will have lots more items to add.

• Pretending to be virtuous.
• Criticizing other women.
• Acting jealous.
• Speaking in code, instead of just saying what’s on their minds.
• Becoming too emotional.
• Shopping till they drop.
• Talking incessantly.
• Using sex as a weapon.

• The orifice fetish – burping, farting, spitting, etc.
• Always adjusting the privates.
• Selective listening and/or tuning out.
• Leaving a trail and/or making a mess, ie: clippings, shavings, etc.
• Not noticing something new.
• Turning into babies when they get sick.
• Falling asleep immediately after you-know-what.
• W.E.T. – Wandering Eye Trouble.

• Aries – Not only is this a good day to throw a tantrum but there’s a good chance that you might set a new distance record!
• Taurus – Uh oh. ‘Bursting Into Song Day‘ again. Your friends will avoid you.
• Gemini – Today you will be invited to go on a 3-hour boat tour which you think will be lots of fun. It may last longer than you expect.
• Cancer – You’ve got to smell the roses while there’s time! You’re not going to live forever, you’re already seeing hair in funny places.
• Leo – An old friend will avoid you today. Have you considered using any of the vast number of breath-freshening products that are available these days?
• Virgo – You will be on your way downtown today when you will be struck by an odd thought. Fortunately it will bounce harmlessly off you.
• Libra – You will join a team and have lots of fun. It’s unclear what sport it is but the team name will be the ‘Screaming Weasels’.
• Scorpio – In order to get more exercise you will glue your keyboard to the ceiling and get yourself a mini-trampoline.
• Sagittarius – Someone will ask you what you want to do this weekend. That may seem like a good time to sarcastically ask, “What am I, psychic?” It’s not, though.
• Capricorn – Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare and just before you fall asleep you will think, “A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul.” Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate
ice cream before bedtime.
• Aquarius – Try not to be too impulsive today. Ask yourself if you really need that howitzer or if you just think it’d be fun to have.
• Pisces – You finally discover the secret to success – fresh-baked cinnamon rolls! Studies show that it’s really, really hard to dislike an employee who gives you a homemade cinnamon roll. Career advancement never tasted so good!

• What sport’s first-ever Olympic gold medal did Canada’s Simon Whitfield win in Sydney? [Triathlon’s.]
• What’s the most common surname in Québec – Gagnon, Roy or Tremblay? [According to the 1996 census, it was Tremblay.]
• What Ontario island’s residents call themselves ‘haw-eaters’? [Manitoulan Island’s, because of the wealth of hawberries that grow wild.]
• What failed to occur in an NHL game for the first time in 20 years when the Detroit Red Wings played the Colorado Avalanche in 2000? [A penalty.]
• What Canadian city is at one end of the world’s only international road tunnel, according to “National Geographic”? [Windsor ON.]
Source for all: “Trivial Pursuit: 20th Anniversary Edition [Canadian Version]”

Today’s Question: If you have this secret, you’re not alone. 72% of us do.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Physical attraction for people who are just friends.

Never squat with your spurs on.

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