Wednesday, October 10, 2001        Edition: #2150

We’ve been subjected to duds like “Amazing Race”, “Lost”, and “Who Wants to Be a Princess?”, and those are the ones that made it to air! Here’s some . . .
BS PROPOSED REALITY TV SHOWS:
• “Fat Farm Scale-cam”
• “When Good Food Turns Bad”
• “Switzerland’s Most Wanted”
• “Inside Bob Hope’s Colostomy Bag”
• “Joe Clark-Attempting-French”
• “The 24-Hour 7-11 Store Surveillance Camera”
• “Drunken Karaoke”
• “Strip Jeopardy”
• “Def Sewing Jam”
• “Temptation Prison”
And our prediction for the new reality show that will last the longest – “America Strikes Back”.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT U2 kicks of its return to North America for a 3rd leg of the “Elevation Tour” with a free Webcast of the concert at the University of Notre Dame (http://U2.com) . . . Word from the “Ally McBeal” set is the show will be featuring more nudity (whenever Calista Flockhart appears nude, an arrow will appear on-screen to show where she is) . . . Buzz is Michael Jackson is interested in doing a duet with Prince (he’s talking about singing, right?) . . . Meantime, it’s been reported Michael Jackson will be playing ‘an alien from a far-away planet’ in the upcoming sequel flick “Men in Black 2″ (geez, type-casting or what?) . . . Jerry Springer says his show will stand by its vow to become violence-free, but the change will be a gradual process (for example, this week they’re doing away with the bitch slap and the nipple cripple).

MARKETING 411:
• Burger King is currently test-marketing a ‘veggie burger’ in parts of Canada and on the US West Coast, hoping it will enjoy the same success as the ‘spicy bean burger’ the chain sells in the UK. (If you ask us, the ‘veggie burger’ makes about as much sense as the ‘all-meat salad’.)
• Victoria’s Secret is introducing a new ‘adjustable bra’ that allows women to decide how much cleavage they want to show. (It has 3 cleavage settings — small, medium and “I really, really, really want to get this job!”.)
• The US Patent Office has received several applications to trademark terms affiliated with the 9/11 attacks. One guy wants a trademark for the ‘Osama Pinata’ while a California entrepreneur wants to protect rights to ‘Osama, Yo’ MAMA!’ T-shirts. His osamayomama.com domain (http://osamayomama.com) is one of the hottest new sites on the Web.

STUDYING WOMEN:
• According to a new survey in “Glamour Magazine”, 60% of women say they can’t have an orgasm unless they use a specific position. (Strangely enough, the position is the Heimlich maneuver.)
• A study shows that, on average, women have more words in their vocabulary than men. Women know something like 30,000 words. (Men would know more but swear words don’t count.)
• A panel of scientists is claiming that it’s not the silicone in breast implants that‘s causing immune disorders in women. (The nausea and dizziness isn’t from the implants, but from the free drinks being sent to the table.)
• In another study, they’re saying women are more likely to have cold hands than men. (However, men are more likely to have cold feet when it comes to commitment.)

CURING THE COMMON COLD:
What cold medications do pediatricians give their own kids? A ”Good Housekeeping” poll finds most pediatricians don’t give their kids any medicine at all.  62% believe in ‘minimal intervention’ in cases of minor illness and 38% of the docs think parents over-medicate children. (Best cold cure? Wait 7 days.)

ANTHRAX FAX:
THIS WEEK tests have detected anthrax bacteria in a 2nd Florida man. The FBI is looking for any evidence that it may be tied to terrorism. So what the heck is anthrax?
• Anthrax is a bacterial disease that mainly affects animals. In rare cases, it can spread to people and cause life-threatening illness.
• Anthrax is most common in areas where people raise livestock and where public health programs are lax.
• Animals get anthrax by grazing on soils contaminated with anthrax spores. Anthrax in people is usually the result of a work-related exposure to infected animals or contaminated animal products.
• A vaccination is available for people at high risk for work-related exposures.
• As a biological weapon, it can be loaded in a freeze-dried condition into munitions or disseminated as an aerosol spray.

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• The Kuwaiti parliament has announced it’s going to give women the right to vote in 2003. (If this proves a success, in 2004 they’re going to start letting women walk next to them.)
• Switzerland is preparing legislation to legalize marijuana. (And you thought the Swiss eat a lot of chocolate now!)
• The world’s first union for prostitutes is being organized in Holland. The ‘Rode Draad’ (Red Thread) group, which campaigns for the rights of the country’s 20,000 hookers, says it’s now backed by the country’s biggest trade union federation. (One union whose strike signs will definitely NOT say “Screw You!”)

THE BULL SHEET 10.10.01

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [42] Bradley Whitford, Madison WI, TV actor (Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman-”The West Wing”)/married to “Malcolm in the Middle” mom Jane Kaczmarek

1967 [34] Mike Malinin, Buffalo NY, rock musician (Goo Goo Dolls-“Iris”, “Name”)

1969 [32] Brett Favre, Kiln MS, NFL QB (’96 Super Bowl-Green Bay)/’95 & ‘96 NFL MVP  NOTE: Although it looks like ‘fah-vruh’ or maybe even ‘fay-ver,’ for some unknown reason it’s pronounced ‘farv’

1972 [29] Dean Roland, Stockbridge GA, rock singer/guitarist (Collective Soul-“Shine”, “December”)

1979 [22] Mya (Harrison), Washington DC, pop/R&B singer (w/Christina Aguilera, Pink and Li’l Kim–“Lady Marmalade”, “My First Night With You”)/movie actress (“Moulin Rouge”, “Atlantis: The Lost Empire”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Bring Your Teddy Bear To Work Day”, a great idea if you want to take a razzing for the rest of your life.
BS BEAR QUIZ:
• What character on the TV show M*A*S*H had his own teddy bear? [‘Radar O’Reilly’]
• Which stuffed bear loves his honey and often says “Oh, bother!” [‘Winnie The Pooh’]
• This stuffed bear is easily identified by his rain hat. [‘Paddington’]
• This TV bear was ‘smarter than the average bear’. [‘Yogi Bear’]
• This bear promotes fire prevention. [‘Smokey Bear’]
• The diaper-clad bear who’s a character on “Sesame Street”. [‘Baby Bear’]
• The family of bears in children’s books by Stan and Jan. [‘The Berenstain Bears’]
• The big, friendly bear in Disney’s “Jungle Book”. [‘Balloo’]

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1886 [115] 1st ‘tuxedo’ (Griswold Lorillard wears coat with satin lapels to a ball in Tuxedo Park NY)

1923 [78] 1st baseball teams to play in 3 consecutive World Series (NYC’s Giants & Yankees)

1933 [68] 1st packaged ‘laundry detergent’ (Procter & Gamble’s ‘Dreft’)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1976 [25] Greece’s 98-year-old Dimitrion Yordanidis becomes oldest to ever complete a marathon (7 hours, 33 minutes)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] National Coming Out Day
[Fri] International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
[Sun] Be Bald and Free Day
[Sun] National Dessert Day
International Letter Writing Week (when’s the last time you wrote one – with pen and paper?)
National Car Care Month
Consumer Information Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:

Q: The average woman will do this 15,696 times in her life, while the average man will do the same 18,325 times. What is it?
A: Wash their hair.

Q: If you’re average, you’ll own 100 of them in your lifetime. What?
A: Toothbrushes.

Q: When are your feet largest, first thing in the morning or late in the day?
A: The Podiatric Medical Association says they’re largest after they’ve taken a pounding all day. So to avoid buying shoes that are too tight, shop late in the day.

Q: The NFL’s Decatur Staleys changed their name 80 years ago TODAY (1921). What do we call them nowadays?
A: The Chicago Bears, who were originally named after the team sponsor, the Staley Starch Co.

Q: We eat some 47 million of them every day. What are they?
A: Hot dogs is what they are. What’s in them is a whole other question.

BS TAG LINE:
In time of war, the first casualty is truth.


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