October 27, 2000                                                    Edition:  #1920

He turns 45 SATURDAY, so here’s a look at –
BS SIGNS BILL GATES IS HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS:
• Gives his age as ‘39, version 6′.
• Joined the ‘Personality Club for Men’.
• “No, honey. I didn’t say I bought A Porsche…”
• Keeps buying younger & younger companies.
• Just spent 6 bucks on a new hairstyle.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Why did Ontario’s Attorney General want to stop LAST NIGHT’s Eminem concert in Toronto when ‘Slim’ already played Hogtown with no problem twice in the past 2 years? . . . Britney Spears insists to Britain’s “Daily Star” tab she’s still a virgin — or a virgin again or something like that (what a waste) . . . Rumor has it Cher may run for Mayor of Malibu CA (or maybe it’s AFTER the Mayor of Malibu CA) . . . “US” magazine reports Charlie Sheen is clean and sober for the first time since he first smoked a joint — when he was 11-years-old (is that why he ain’t funny on “Spin City”?).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
In the scary sequel “Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows”, college students become fascinated by the missing filmmakers from “The Blair Witch Project” and decide to go into the same woods to find out what really happened (breaking horror movie survival rule #1) . . . In the comedy “Lucky Numbers”, TV weather personality John Travolta tries to scam the Pennsylvania Lottery with the help of “Friends’” Lisa Kudrow . . . Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix and Charlize Theron star in the gangster drama “The Yards” . . . The no-name Halloween family fare “The Little Vampire” follows the adventures of a 9-year-old who befriends a young vampire . . . A young girl plucked from small-town obscurity becomes an overnight sensation as a supermodel in Montreal director Denys Arcand’s “Stardom”, starring Jessica Paré and Dan Aykroyd.

WACKY INVENTIONS:
• A new PC peripheral device called ‘iSmell‘ has been developed that recreates scents for Web surfers. Using a mixture of scented oils, it emits aromas based on digital instructions sent over the Internet or embedded in a computer program. The most logical use is to enable perfume sampling by e-shoppers, but it may also find use for sending scented e-mail. (When they develop ‘iFeel’, I’m buyin’.)
• At THIS WEEK’s “Auto Africa Expo 2000″ in Johannesburg, South Africa, a revolutionary prototype car was unveiled – that runs on air! The piston engine is powered by compressed air stored in tanks, similar to scuba diving tanks, and runs for up to 10 hours at an average speed of 50 mph. (Now the big oil companies are trying to figure out how to charge for air!)

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Officials in Genoa, Italy are gleefully publicizing a recent research study which suggests that salami has the same effect as Viagra. (First you have to find some salami,. THEN you can hide it.)
• THIS WEEK French Roman Catholic priests organized a protest against Halloween, saying it’s  “devoted to Satan, ugliness and absolute evil.” (Hey, they know all about dressing up funny and giving kids ‘treats’.)
• British bookies are taking bets that the world will end before the year 2001. (OK, so if you win, how do you collect?)

THE BULL SHEET 10.27.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1939    [61] John Cleese, Weston-Super-Mare ENG, movie actor (‘R’, the replacement for ‘Q’ in ‘James Bond’ movies-“The World Is Not Enough”, also in “A Fish Called Wanda”, “Monty Python”)
1952    [48] Roberto Benigni, Misericordia ITA, movie actor/director (1999 Oscar-“Life Is Beautiful”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1944    [56] Dennis Franz, Maywood IL, TV actor (3 Emmys as Det Andy Sipowitz-“NYPD Blue)”
1955    [45] Bill (William Henry III) Gates, Seattle WA, Microsoft mogul/world’s wealthiest man
1963    [37] Lauren Holly, Bristol PA, film actress (“Any Given Sunday”)/ex-Mrs Jim Carrey NEXT FILM: Co-stars with Mel Gibson in “What Women Want” opening in December
1967    [33] Julia Roberts, Smyrna GA, movie star (“Erin Brockovich “, “Runaway Bride”)
1974    [26] Joaquin Phoenix, PR, movie actor (“The Yards”, “Gladiator”)/the late River’s bro

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Canada/USA] “International Telework Day” (a day to work from home if you can)

TODAY is “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” — spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” THIS WEEKEND. It’s the site of the actual ‘Frankenstein Castle’ that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel. Talk about a creepy site for Halloween happenin’s!

Our clocks officially go back to “Standard Time” SUNDAY at 2 am. Experts say about 20% of us notice significant changes in mood as seasons change, accentuated by the switch from Daylight Saving Time. What used to be called ‘winter blues’ is now ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ or ‘SAD’. It even has it’s own info line.  PHONE: 888-723-2929 (SAD Information Network)

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1998    [02] Conrad Black launches new national newspaper “The National Post”
1999    [01] Roger Clemens pitches NY Yankees to 2nd straight World Series sweep and their record 25th championship, vs Atlanta Braves

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901    [99] 1st ‘boxer shorts’ (begins ‘boxers or briefs?’ controversy)
1991    [09] 1st ‘Planet Hollywood’ opens

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] National Chocolate Day (isn’t every day?)
National Massage Therapy Awareness Week
National Crime Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS HALLOWEEN QUIZ 2:

• What famous magician died on Halloween? [Harry Houdini died on October 31st, 1926.]
• This popular Halloween game started as a way of determining your future spouse. [Bobbing for apples’. You put names on each apple – the one you get is the one you’ll marry!]
• In the “Halloween” films, what was the name of ‘Michael Myers’ hometown? [Haddonfield IL]
• What was the name of Orson Welles’ acting troupe that created the “War of the Worlds” on radio for Halloween, 1938? [The Mercury Players]

BS TAG LINE: Follow your dream. Unless it’s that one where you show up for work naked.


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