Oct 17, 2000        75 days until the REAL millennium!        Edition:  #1912

WORST BS SELF-HELP BOOKS:
• “So, You Make Too Much Money”
• “Abs of Flab”
• “I’ll Bet You Can Conquer Your Gambling Problem”
• “Lie Your Sweet Ass Off And Become A Millionaire”
• “If You Want To Lose Weight, Just Stop Eating, You Fat Cow”
• “I’m Okay — You’re Starting to Get on My Nerves Bigtime”
• “5 Days to Fatter Ankles”
• “The One-Minute Lover”

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS WEEK a million commemorative editions of romance writer Danielle Steel‘s most popular works are being given away to mark the publication of “Journey”, her 50th book (man, that’s a lot of trash) . . . Africa is already being considered for “Survivor 3″ . . . The new UK celeb mag “Star” has named Madonna’s 2-month-old son Rocco one of Britain’s ‘Most Eligible Bachelors’ . . . Sony’s on the verge of scrapping that Muhammad Ali biopic starring Will Smith because it would cost too much.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Tommy Lee Jones & Samuel L Jackson  in the court drama “Rules of Engagement”, about a Marine colonel charged with ordering his troops to fire on civilians . . . Ben Stiller & Edward Norton play a rabbi and a priest who both fall in love with Jenna Elfman in the comedy “Keeping the Faith” . . . Tom Hanks & Tim Allen are back as the voices of ‘Woody’ & ‘Buzz’ in Disney’s animated sequel “Toy Story 2″ . . . Meryl Streep plays a schoolteacher struggling to teach violin to inner-city kids in “Music of the Heart”.

IT’S TIME!
A German company will soon offer a new service to professional women — automatic mobile phone calls when their fertility cycles make it a good time to attempt pregnancy. (“Excuse me, but can one of you gentlemen in the board meeting do me a favor?”)
NET: http://www.zappybaby.de/

HOW MUCH POPCORN WILL YOU NEED?
A Nashville company is continuing a long-term project to film the ENTIRE “Bible” — word-for-word. It believes modern-day audiences will actually want the entire thing and be willing to pay for it. This could break the record of the longest movie ever made, appropriately titled “Cure For Insomnia”, it consisted entirely of footage showing a person sleeping — for 85 hours. Not surprisingly, it was shown only once.

IT CAME FROM BEYOND:
A meteorite that landed in northern BC last winter is being studied at London’s University of Western Ontario where scientists hope to find clues to the composition of the early solar system. It’s believed the 220-ton frozen chunk originated in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. (Or in an accidental discharge from Air Canada flight 307.)

THE TRUTH IS OUT:
Japan’s Naoko Takahashi, who won Olympic gold in the women’s marathon, enhanced her performance by drinking the stomach juice from giant KILLER HORNETS before and during the race. And because it’s totally natural, it’s legal!

THE BULL SHEET 10.17.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1948     [52] Margot Kidder, Yellowknife NT, movie actress (“Maverick”, “Superman”)
1958    [42] Alan Jackson, Newnan GA, country singer (“It Must Be Love”, “Don’t Rock the Jukebox”)
1963    [37] Norm Macdonald, Quebec City PQ, movie actor (“Man on the Moon”, “Billy Madison”)/ex-“SNL” cast member
1969    [31] Ernie Els, Johannesburg SA, pro golfer who’d be a huge star except for Tiger Woods
1971    [29] Chris Kirkpatrick, Clarion PA, pop singer (‘N Sync-“This I Promise You”, “Bye Bye Bye”)
1972    [28] Eminem (Marshall Mathers), Kansas City MO, rap artist (“The Real Slim Shady”, “My Name Is”) awaiting trial on assault and weapons charges
1974    [26] John Rocker, Statesboro GA, redneck relief pitcher (Atlanta Braves)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[UN] “International Day for the Eradication of Poverty”

This FRIDAY-Monday, 37 national champions from around the world will be wheeling and dealing for prime properties at the “World Monopoly Game Championship” at Toronto’s Royal York Hotel. The winner will be taking home $15,140 (US), the total amount of money in the board game. Winnipeg’s Bill Bartel will represent Canada in his 2nd trip to the Worlds.
PHONER: 450-670-9820 (Denise Burke, Hasbro Canada PR, Longueuil PQ)
NET: http://www.monopoly.com/tournaments/tournaments.htm

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1974    [26[ 1st person to run coast-to-coast across Canada (Mark Kent-102 days)
1982    [18] 1st Russian to score goal in the NHL (Victor Nechaev-LA Kings)
1990    [10] 1st #1-selling album NOT available on vinyl (Vanilla Ice-”To The Extreme”)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1995    [05] Largest video boxed set ever released — 58 episodes of “The Monkees” on 21 cassettes
1995    [05] Jeanne Calment of Arles FRA becomes oldest person ever recorded at 120 years, 238 days (died August ’97)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Evaluate Your Life Day (it’ll only take a minute)
National Character Counts Week
Getting The World To Beat A Path To Your Door Week
National Cookie Month (if you don’t want junk e-mail, turn your ‘cookies’ off)

BULL’S BITS . . .
IF YOU’RE AVERAGE, BY THE TIME YOU DIE YOU’LL:

• Visit a dentist 152 times.
• Go bowling 233 times.
• Pay 672 phone bills.
• Eat 2,014 lbs of chicken.
• Talk to your mom on the phone 2,900 times.
• Use a charge card 7,000 times.
• Read newspapers and magazines 12,480 times.
• Go to work 147,000 times.
• Watch 200,000 hours of TV.

BS TAG LINE: ‘Tis better to have loved a short woman than to have never loved a tall.


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