October 3, 2000     AU REVOIR PIERRE     Edition:  #1902

Former PM Pierre Trudeau’s funeral is THIS MORNING at 11am EDT at Montreal’s Notre-Dame Basilica. Meantime, some Liberals are saying all the Trudeau accolades and nostalgia will help boost the party’s fortunes if a fall election is called. But here’s some . . .
BS THINGS PIERRE TRUDEAU DID THAT JEAN CHRETIEN HASN’T:
• Dated Barbra Streisand.
• Had TWO sons on Christmas Day.
• Learned to speak at least one of the country’s official languages fluently.
• Used the ‘F’ word in parliament.
• Retired!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Buzz is Pamela Anderson found out new boyfriend, male model Marcus Schenkenberg, wasn’t a member of the ‘Mile High Club’, so she promptly chartered a private plane to rectify the situation . . . Even though the first series has just fumbled to a close, CBS-TV has already begun soliciting contestants for a possible “Big Brother II” sequel (of the 10 countries where “Big Brother’ has  been tried, only the US version was NOT a giant hit) . . . Word has it “Just Shoot Me” star David Spade recently met Calista Flockhart at an LA eatery and fell head over heals, immediately sending flowers and an invitation for a date (they’re soo skinny, if they stood beside each other they’d spell ‘11′).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
The WW2 submarine thriller “U-571″ features an ensemble cast including Matthew McConaughey, Bill Paxton, Harvey Keitel and Jon Bon Jovi . . . Vancouver actor Joshua Jackson (“Dawson’s Creek”) stars in the thriller “The Skulls” as a college senior who finds his life is in danger after joining a secret elitist Ivy League fraternity organization . . . In the comedy “Snow Day”, a group of students tries to keep their school closed by hijacking the snowplow driven by wacky Chris Elliott.

HOUSEHOLD HINTS:
Here’s a topic that always gets the phones flashing. And the new book “Clean Your Clothes With Cheez Whiz” by Joey Green offers a slew of oddball household tips like . . .
• To get rid of a grease stains on clothing, rub in some Cheez Whiz. Seems the enzymes in the cheese break down the grease. (Also works if you want your dog to “Give mommy a kiss!”)
• To give yourself a facial, use Cheerios. The oats apparently soak up the oils. (Why not oatmeal then?)
• To deodorize your feet, soak them in Jell-O. (In fact, keep some in your shoes.)
• To keep critters out of your garbage, sprinkle on Tabasco sauce. (Vinegar also works.)
• Instead of worrying about the stain when you spill coffee on a white shirt, dye the entire shirt with coffee. (And soon your entire wardrobe will be beige.)
INTERVIEW: 323-939-1840 (arrange through Renaissance Books, LA CA)

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN:
Rent-A-Ghost, a so-called ‘psychic non-profit organization’ located in England, claims it will install a ghost in your house for a low monthly payment of just $250. And they’re offering a ‘free trial’ anywhere in the world! But take note — the company deals only in benevolent ghosts.
E-MAIL TO ARRANGE INTERVIEW:
specters@rent-a-ghost.co.uk
NET: http://www.rent-a-ghost.co.uk

THE BULL SHEET 10.03.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1962    [38] Tommy Lee (Bass), Athens GRE, ex-Mr Pam Anderson/ex-Mr Heather Locklear/ex-con/ex-rock drummer (Motley Crue-Girls Girls Girls)
1966    [34] Darrin Fletcher, Elmhurst IL, MLB catcher (Toronto Blue Jays)
1969    [31] Gwen Stefani, Orange County CA, rock singer (No Doubt-“Simple Kind of Life”, “Don’t Speak”)
1972    [28] Kevin Richardson, Lexington KY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“One”, “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely”)
1973    [27] Neve Campbell, Guelph ON, movie actress (“Scream I-III”, “Wild Things”) NOTE: Neve (pronounced ‘Nev’), her mother’s maiden name, is an Italian word meaning ‘snow’

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
“Pumpkinfest”, the international pumpkin weigh-off competition, is THIS WEEKEND in Port Elgin ON,  the site of world record-breaking veggies. Last year’s prize punkin weighed in at 981.5 lbs.
PHONER: 800-387-3456/519-832-2332            
NET: www.sunsets.com/portelgin/pumpkinfest

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1955    [45] 1st edition of Walt Disney’s “Mickey Mouse Club” on TV

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1997    [03] Japan’s Maglev bullet train breaks world speed record at 280.3 mph (so fast you get there before you leave)
1997    [03] 69-year-old Hockey Hall of Famer Gordie Howe skates first shift with Detroit Vipers in their International Hockey League opener, becoming only hockey pro to compete in 6 decades

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] National Golf Day
[Wed] CMA Awards
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day
National Customer Service Week
Canadian Stamp Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
A poll in “Love & Sex” magazine ranks the most important ingredients to a good marriage based on gender . . .
ACCORDING TO WOMEN:
5. Compassion
4. Commitment
3. Ability to compromise
2. Communication
1. Respect
ACCORDING TO MEN:
5. Commitment
4. Compatibility
3. Respect
2. Good sex
1. Intimacy

BS TAG LINE: If someone calls you fat, don’t get angry, just turn the other chin.


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