Friday, October 26, 2018 – Edition: #6322
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jamie Lee Curtis is opening up about a dark period in her past. The “Halloween” star told PEOPLE that she’s lucky to have survived a secret addiction to opiates that began in the late ’80s. Curtis said: “I was ahead of the curve of the opiate epidemic. I had a 10-year run, stealing, conniving. No one knew.” Curtis has a long family history of addiction. Her father, actor Tony Curtis, abused alcohol, cocaine and heroin. Her half-brother Nicholas Curtis died from a heroin overdose in 1994.
-People
★ Following his recent struggles with alcohol addiction, Ben Affleck was back to work on the set of his new film, “Torrance”, playing a role that will likely hit close to home. Affleck stars as a former all-star basketball player who loses his career and his wife amid his battle with addiction. Through his struggle to get clean, he attempts to reclaim his life by becoming the coach of a high school basketball team.
-MSN
★ Apparently Danny DeVito and Michael Douglas became buds because of . . . bud. Douglas told Cigar Aficionado that they first bonded in 1967 over their shared love of cannabis. Douglas said: “I was on the beach, looking out at the Long Island Sound and this guy walks up to me, with this long head of hair, . . He says ‘You get high?’. . . So, we smoked a joint and that was the beginning of a long, long friendship.”
-PageSix
★ Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese are going to be working together again. Scorsese will direct and DiCaprio will star in the crime drama “Killers of the Flower Moon”. In the movie set in 1920s Oklahoma, the Osage Nation discover oil under their land, only to find themselves being murdered, one by one. As the death toll rises, the newly created FBI takes up the case and unravels a chilling conspiracy and one of the most monstrous crimes in American history.
-HollywoodReporter
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Whoopi Goldberg, Nikki & Brie Bella, Joshua Jay
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Liev Schreiber
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Pete Davidson, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Zainab Johnson, Ben Sesar (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Tiffany Haddish
• “The Talk” (CBS): Salt-N-Pepa, All-4-One, Rob Base
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Robin Wright, Sara Gilbert, Maddie Poppe, Tom Nardone
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kris Jenner, Ciara
• “MLB Baseball” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 3 of the World Series.
• “Midnight, Texas” (NBC): The Season 2 premiere. The Midnighters finally settle into a semblance of normality—until the opening of a new hotel rocks their stability once again.
SATURDAY-
• “Christmas at Pemberley Manor” (HALLMARK): In this holiday re-imagining of “Pride and Prejudice,” rookie party planner Elizabeth works with the all-business William Darcy to put together a Christmas festival at Pemberley Manor.
• “MLB Baseball” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 4 of the World Series.
SUNDAY-
• “Dancing With the Stars: Juniors” (ABC): The remaining celebrity kids don their scariest costumes for some spooky dances.
• “MLB Baseball” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 5 of the World Series (if necessary).
• “Ray Donovan” (SHOWTIME): Season 6 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — has donated $15,500 to a GoFundMe for a fan whose family is struggling with medical bills. Sadie Bartell’s mother has been in a coma for three years, and the 19-year-old tweeted that her mother became ill two days before she went to a Swift concert. Swift’s donation came with the message, “Love, Taylor, Meredith and Olivia Swift.” Meredith and Olivia are Swift’s cats.
• Justin Timberlake — cancelled his Madison Square Garden, New York concert Wed. night due to “severely bruised” vocal chords. He tweeted: ”I’m sorry to announce I have to postpone the show at MSG tonight on doctor’s orders…I’m gonna make this up to you and the new show will be on my birthday, January 31….Love, J.”
• Justin Bieber — is sporting his own fashion line, inspired by his middle name. In February, he filed to trademark “THE HOUSE OF DREW,” “LA MAISON DREW,” and “DREW” for the purpose of “clothing and wearing apparel.” We’re not yet sure when Beliebers will be able to buy Drew.
• Lionel Richie — has launched an interiors collection. He’s teamed up with retailer JCPenney for an ”eclectic design experience”. His new range includes bedsheets, throw pillows, coverlet and comforter sets, as well as towels sets.
• The Beatles — are the subject of what’s rumored to be the most expensive pinball machine of all time. Just 1,964 of the 1964-themed “Beatlemania” machines will be released. 100 Diamond editions, 250 Platinum editions and 1,614 Gold editions will be produced. No word on pricing or release dates.
• Queen – Actor Rami Malek kept a strange item from the set of the new Queen and Freddie Mercury biopic, “Bohemian Rhapsody”. He held on to a set of false teeth that he wore in the movie to look like Mercury. Malek says that he had the teeth cast in gold” because in the spirit of “Freddie” he wanted to do something as outlandish as possible. The movie was released this week in the UK, and comes out Nov. 2 in North America.
• Florida Georgia Line — are among the new wave of artists who have been announced to perform at the 2018 CMA Awards, FGL will perform with Bebe Rexha, and Dierks Bentley with Brothers Osborne. Kacey Musgraves, Pistol Annies and Thomas Rhett have also been added to the lineup, joining previously announced artists including Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Kelsea Ballerini, Dan + Shay and Old Dominion. The CMAs will air live from Nashville on Nov. 14.
• Locash – will perform at the The National Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony in Washington, D.C., on Nov. 28. They’ll play three songs during the ceremony, which typically involves performers from many musical genres.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Johnny English Strikes Again” (PG, Comedy): After a cyber-attack reveals the identity of all of the active undercover agents in Britain, Johnny English is forced to come out of retirement to find the mastermind hacker. (Rowan Atkinson, Michael Gambon)
• “Suspiria” (R-Rated, Horror/Mystery): A darkness swirls at the center of a world-renowned dance company, one that will engulf the artistic director, an ambitious young dancer, and a grieving psychotherapist. Some will succumb to the nightmare. Others will finally wake up. (Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton)
• “Hunter Killer” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): An untested American submarine captain teams with U.S. Navy Seals to rescue the Russian president, who has been kidnapped by a rogue general. (Gerard Butler, Gary Oldman)
• “London Fields” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense): Clairvoyant femme fatale Nicola Six has been living with a dark premonition of her impending death by murder. She begins a tangled love affair with three uniquely different men: one of whom she knows will be her murderer. (Amber Heard, Cara Delevingne)
NOW BEER HAS GONE TO POT:
With marijuana as popular as it is, and with its recent legalization in Canada, you knew somebody would come up with this: Marijuana Beer. The startup “Province Brands” has been working on what they are now calling “beer powered by cannabis” for awhile now, and they say it should be available next year. And here is their big claim: They say that their beer will give you the same buzz you get with alcohol, but NO HANGOVER! Also odd: There is zero alcohol in the beer. A standard bottle boasts 6.5mg of THC, though, and that means that while you might be thinking it would give you a similar experience to eating an edible, apparently the effects hit you extremely quickly.
(Well, I’ve heard of Miller “High-Life”!)
(There’s no way I can sneak THAT into a concert!)
(Since legalization, Canadians have no idea what is expected of them when they’re invited to a ‘potluck dinner’!)
-Narcity
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
► Police in Upper Tantallon, NS are notifying residents of a report of a suspiciously clean house. RCMP say that officers responded to an afternoon complaint from a neighbour that there were two suspicious women in a home with…a vacuum cleaner and a mop. Police later determined that the house was left unlocked in order for the neighbour to walk the owner’s dog. Instead, two women showed up, cleaned the house, and left without knowing they were at the wrong address.
(Normally in this situation, you’d expect your house to be ‘cleaned out’, not ‘cleaned up’!
-Global
► Police are searching for a robbery suspect who held up a Subway restaurant, then returned to retrieve his forgotten sandwich. Police say the man was waiting for a sandwich at the Norcross, GA Subway shop when he jumped over the counter, demanded cash and opened the cash register. He took off with about $100, then realized he had left the sandwich inside and went back to get it.
(That’s a sub-standard criminal right there!)
-Channel3000
► A British groom-to-be decided to make the best of a bad situation when he was tied naked to a tree. While in Spain, his friends did pre-wedding prank of fastening him to the tree with cling-wrap while wearing nothing but pink sunglasses, and putting a hat on the ground so tourists could tip him for his nude show. When people started taking photos, he decided that he might as well go with the flow, and started to charge a $3 fee per picture.
(You’ve heard of “shrinkage-wrap”, right?)
-Metro
BS CHRONOMETER 10.26.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [73] Jaclyn Smith, Houston TX, TV actress (“Charlie’s Angels” 1976-1981)/“JS” fashion icon since 1985
1946 [72] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)
1947 [71] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, former US presidential candidate/Secretary of State 2009-13/US Senator 2001-08/First Lady 1992-2000/wed to Bill Clinton since 1975
1954 [64] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)
1961 [57] Dylan McDermott, Waterbury CT, TV actor (“The Practice” 1997-2004, “American Horror Story”)
1962 [56] Cary Elwes, London England, movie actor (“The Princess Bride”, “Saw”, “Twister”)
1967 [51] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (‘Wasted Time’, ‘Blue Ain’t Your Color’ )/wed to actress Nicole Kidman since 2006
1973 [45] Seth McFarlane, Kent CT, TV show runner-writer-actor (“Family Guy” since 1999, “American Dad!” since 2005, “The Cleveland Show” 2009-13)
1975 [43] Paula Faris, Jackson MI, TV personality (“The View” 2015-18, “Good Morning America Weekend” 2014-18)
1977 [41] Jon Heder, Fort Collins CO, movie actor (“Napoleon Dynamite”, “Blades of Glory”)
SATURDAY-
Actor/Comedian John Cleese (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”) is 79; Pop singer Simon LeBon (Duran Duran-‘Hungry Like the Wolf’) is 60; TV personality Kelly Osbourne (‘The Talk’) is 34; TV actor Troy Gentile (“The Goldbergs”) is 25
SUNDAY-
Microsoft founder Bill Gates is 63; TV sidekick Andy Richter (“Conan”) is 52; Movie actress Julia Roberts (“Pretty Woman”) is 51; Country singer Brad Paisley (“Perfect Storm”) is 46; Movie actor Joaquin Phoenix (“Walk the Line”) is 44; Singer Frank Ocean (‘Thinkin’ Bout You’) is 31
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Frankenstein Day”, honoring Mary Wollenstone Shelley, the author of “Frankenstein”. Frankenstein was first published anonymously in 1818.
• “Mincemeat Day”. Odds are you either love it or you can’t stand the stuff. Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits, spices, and sometimes beef suet. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat; many modern recipes use vegetable shortening in its place.
• “Horseless Carriage Day”, in the early days of automobiles, it was common that carriages were pulled by animals, typically horses, but the automobiles were not. In recent years, the phrase has been compared to terms like ‘cordless phone’ and ‘wireless phone’. These are cases in which a new technology is described by what it does not have, compared to older technology.
• “Pumpkin Day”, celebrating the orange member of the squash family best known for being carved into jack-o-lanterns or made into pie filling. Did you know that pumpkins are 90% water? At one time, they were recommended for removing freckles and curing snake bites. (Not saying it worked, just that it was recommended…)
• “Mule Day”, a day designated to celebrate these unique hybrid animals. Mules are the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse and are more common than hinnies, the offspring of a female donkey and a male horse. Because donkeys and horses are actually different species with a different number of chromosomes, their offspring are nearly always sterile. (And stubborn!)
• “Worldwide Howl at the Moon Night”, an annual pre-Halloween tradition. A wolf howl can carry up to 10 miles in areas where there are no trees. Owoooooo!
SATURDAY-
• “Boxer Shorts Day”, a salute to their invention on this date in 1901.
• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery.
• “Potato Day”, one of several annual ‘food holidays’ honoring the humble spud. This root vegetable became one of the New World’s most important discoveries. What’s the best way to cook ‘em? Fries? Mashed? Baked? Au Gratin w/Gruyere & Creme Fraiche?
• “American Beer Day”, beer is the most popular alcoholic drink in the United States, where over 6,3000 breweries produce more than 9 billion gallons annually.
SUNDAY-
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, a day to celebrate your stuffed animal collection. ‘Plush’ sounds so much more humane, no?
• “International Animation Day”, first proclaimed in 2002 to celebrate the art of animation.
• “Chocolate Day”, started by the Confectioners Association to promote what is almost every woman’s (and many a man’s) weakness. Some say chocolate from the New World (mostly Mexico) was introduced to Europe on this date in 1550. Suggestions for today’s menu …
– Breakfast: Chocolate cereal; chocolate cream-filled doughnuts; hot chocolate.
– Morning Snack: Chocolate bar to give you a boost until lunch.
– Lunch: A big tall glass of chocolate milk; chocolate pie or pudding for dessert.
– Afternoon Snack: Chocolate covered raisins, which contain both vegetable and fruit.
– Dinner: Chocolate liqueur aperitif; chocolate-flavored coffee; chocolate cake.
– Evening Snack: Chocolate ice cream, of course!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ. . .
1984 [34] “The Terminator,” directed by James Cameron and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton, is released in the U.S.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2010 [08] Keith Richards releases his autobiography “Life”, which details his drug use and his thorny relationship with Mick Jagger, among other things
2011 [07] A coroner’s inquest on the death of Amy Winehouse reaches a verdict of ‘misadventure’, a nice way of saying her blood alcohol content was more than 5 times the legal driving limit
2015 [03] Justin Bieber cleans up at the MTV European Music Awards, winning ‘Best Male’, ‘Best North American Act’, ‘Best Collaboration’, ‘Biggest Fans’, and ‘Best Look’
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1975 [43] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as an aid for people choking on food (named for its co-developer, Dr Henry Heimlich, who was able to use his own maneuver in 2016 at age 96 to save 87-year-old Patty Ris when she began choking on a hamburger at his senior living center)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [28] 1st NHL hockey player to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ 4% of lost remote controls are later found in the fridge or freezer.
✓ Wearing jeans is illegal in North Korea.
✓ The University of Minnesota is older than the state of Minnesota.
✓ Lego bricks can be used approximately 37,112 times before they won’t stick to other pieces anymore.
✓ Licking a stamp amounts to 0.1 calories.
✓ If you cut a hole in your fishing net, it will have fewer holes.
-Short-Funny
BS FAKE GOOGLE FACTS:
• It was named after the Goo Goo Dolls.
• Many doctors use it every day to diagnose their patients.
• The minimum age requirement to use Google is 20. Because teenagers already know everything.
• If you type “Google” into the Yahoo search engine, it just starts crying.
• It can translate what your pet says.
• Google is a woman, because it starts guessing what you’re about to say before you’ve finished saying it.
• You can pay your Google bill with baked goods . . . however, they do not accept cookies.
• It was originally going to be called “Gaggle”. . . but autocorrect.
• There is a 3 second delay every time you do a search to allow Google to ask Jeeves.
• It is considered cool to call it “The Google Machine”.
• (***CAUTION***) Hitting the “I’m feeling lucky” button really pisses off Clint Eastwood.
-Twitter
BS PET PEEVES OF TRICK-OR-TREATERS:
• People who forget to buy candy and just offer you a bite of their sandwich.
• People who want receipts.
• When your Mariachi costume is so convincing you get deported to Mexico.
• Encountering a jack-o-lantern that looks suspiciously like your mailman’s head.
• Black jelly beans that turn out to be blood-swollen ticks.
• People who sit outside on their porch at the end of a long driveway and give you the stink-eye.
• When you find something in your goodie bag called ‘Malted Meat Balls’.
• When as soon as you get home, your dad wrestles you to the ground for the Kit Kats.
• When they say “Trick-or-treat”, and the homeowner says, “OK….trick!”
• When someone gives you something healthy.
– First published in “BS” 1998.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The last thing I remember is this pretty girl in an elevator asking me to press one.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Couple’s Halloween costumes: good thing or bad thing? And what is the best one you’ve ever seen?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Doing THIS on a first date increases your chances of a second date. What?
Answer: Ordering the exact same thing.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A lot of philosophers have attempted to define happiness, but it all boils down to one thing: Not having to set the alarm clock for the next day.
