October 16, 2008

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Thursday, October 16, 2008        Edition: #3880
Deja Moo!

Rumors are floating around that “Playboy” founder Hugh Hefner’s women troubles began with former GF Holly Madison cheating on him with Vegas magician Criss Angel and his other GF Kendra Wilkinson being ‘receptive’ to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett (sounds believable – both these guys are under 82!) . . . CBC-TV’s Rick Mercer-hosted show, “Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister”, has been nominated for an “International Emmy Award” for ‘non-scripted entertainment’ (remember last year when it was won by that hilarious show “Npafooga Manustra” from Pago Pago?) . . . The action film “From Paris With Love”, starring John Travolta, has suspended production in the Paris suburb of Montfermeil due to violence, including numerous car burnings and threats to the crew (guys, keep the cameras rolling and you’ll have a real thriller!) . . . Syndicated talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has recorded a PSA urging California voters to turn down the upcoming ‘Proposition 8‘ ballot initiative that would ban same-sex marriage in the state (it seems she relented after being criticized in the gay press for non-involvement) . . . Show biz couple Samantha Bee (Toronto ON) & Jason Jones (Hamilton ON), ‘senior correspondents‘ on “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart”, have signed on to write & co-star in an-as-yet-untitled new CBS-TV comedy about a celebrity chef and the 2 women who run his cooking empire . . . Showtime has officially picked up actor Matthew Perry’s new comedy, “The End Of Steve”, about an egomaniacal TV talk show host (this sounds much better than his failed “Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip”, about an  egomaniacal TV comedy writer) . . . And Virgin Galactic, the space tourism company begun by UK entrepreneur Richard Branson, has turned down a million-dollar offer from an adult film company for the right to shoot the first explicit film in space (it’s just as well – in zero-gravity the ‘actors’ would likely float around for hours & hours without ever ‘docking’).

• Bruce Springsteen – Lounge seats for TONIGHT’s Barack Obama benefit at NYC’s Hammerstein Ballroom are priced at – whoa! – $10,000. Billy Joel is also on the ticket.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Natasha Bedingfield (“Angel”) performs.
• “Inspirational Country Music Awards” – Collin Raye hosts the annual accolades being presented in Hendersonville, Tennessee. This year’s nominees for mainstream country artist are Carrie Underwood, George Strait, Josh Turner, Randy Travis, and Ricky Skaggs & the Whites. Performers include Tracy Lawrence and Phil Stacey.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Ne-Yo (“Miss Independent”) is the musical guest. John McCain is also scheduled, though he canceled 3 weeks ago due to the economic crisis, causing Letterman to mock him mercilessly.

• ABBA – Bjorn Ulvaeus has won an appeal against Sweden’s tax authority, which was originally demanding $13 million in back taxes and interest on unpaid taxes relating to contracts he signed before moving to Britain way back in 1984.
• Duran Duran – They played a recent employee party for British bank Lloyds TSB. The bash, estimated to cost upwards of $4 million, is being lambasted as a ‘disgusting spectacle’, particularly since Lloyds was recently bailed out with British taxpayers’ money. Organizers say the party was booked well in advance and couldn’t be called off.
• Green Day – The band is finally in the studio with veteran producer Butch Vig, working on a follow-up to 2004’s “American Idiot”.
• Madonna – 2 British newspapers are reporting she & her filmmaker hubby Guy Ritchie are set to divorce before year-end after nearly 8 years of marriage. One report suggests she was hoping to wait until her “Sticky & Sweet” tour wrapped in Brazil this DECEMBER before announcing the split. TONIGHT she performs in Boston MA.
• Simple Plan – Net proceeds from downloads of the single “Save You”, released THIS WEEK via iTunes, will be distributed to cancer charities around-the-world through the band’s Simple Plan Foundation.
• Theory Of a Deadman – They’ve signed to headline the halftime show at this year’s “Grey Cup” game in Montréal NOVEMBER 23rd.
• Tim McGraw – He claims Curb Records released the new ‘best of’ album (“Greatest Hits 3”) against his wishes and without his involvement. Noting that he’s only had 1 studio album since the last compilation he says, “It has to be just as confusing to the fans as it is to me.”

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Debt“ – 63-year-old Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren has signed on for the lead in this remake of the Israeli thriller “Ha-hov”. She’ll play a Mossad agent who lies about killing a Nazi war criminal in the 1960s and is forced to return to work when the man reappears 30 years later. Filming is due to take place in the UK, Germany, and Israel NEXT YEAR.
• “Iron Man 2” – Don Cheadle will replace Terrence Howard as Robert Downey Jr’s sidekick in the upcoming sequel to the superhero saga. In the first film Howard played ‘Jim Rhodes’, ‘Tony Stark’/’Iron Man’s future armor-clad hero ‘War Machine’. Gwyneth Paltrow is expected to return as ‘Stark’s assistant, ‘Pepper Potts’. “Iron Man 2“ is scheduled for release in MAY 2010.
• “Kung Fu Panda 2“ – A sequel to has been given the greenlight and will be released in JUNE 2011. The Summer 2008 animated hit featured the voices of Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, and Lucy Liu.
• “Sherlock Holmes“ – The cast is filling in for Guy Ritchie’s upcoming take on the classic detective. Rachel McAdams is the latest to sign on, playing the legendary sleuth’s love interest ‘Irene Adler’, a character that only appeared in one of Arthur Conan Doyle’s novels. Robert Downey Jr has the lead role, and Jude Law is in final talks to play sidekick ‘Dr Watson’. Mark Strong (“RocknRolla”) is signed to play nemesis ‘Blackwood’.
• “Three Stories About Joan” – Actor Bruce Willis is moving behind the camera to make his directorial debut in this upcoming indie film about a young woman who is faced with tragedies at 3 different points in her life. Relative unknown actress Camilla Belle stars; Owen Wilson is rumored to be a co-star; Willis will have a cameo role. The film’s due out NEXT YEAR.

Two different studies indicate that if a woman wears high heels it could indicate either that she likes sex or that she’s at higher risk for schizophrenia … or maybe both. A Swedish study has made the link to schizophrenia and – not surprisingly – Italian research has connected heels to libido, noting that women use stilettos to project a feminine image. How so? Scientists suggest it’s an evolutionary thing: Wearing heels gives the appearance of long legs and therefore health, thereby making a woman a more desirable mate.
– “Time Magazine”

Switzerland has just granted new rights to all ‘social animals’ (aka pets). Among the protections now guaranteed by law …
• Prospective dog owners must take a 4-hour course on pet care before they can buy a pooch.
• Anglers must learn to catch fish humanely before getting a fishing license.
• Aquarium fish cannot be kept in tanks that are transparent on all sides as they need shelter in order not to feel threatened.
• Goldfish cannot be flushed down the toilet; they must first be anesthetized with special chemicals.
(Humane or just … really dumb?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

56-year-old Ru Anting of Henan province in China is able to suck up water with his nose and then … spray it through his tear ducts. Why would anyone want to? He says he began to develop his unusual talent after losing his job in a local fertilizer factory where he’d worked for 20 years. After 3 years of intensive training, he was able to accurately shoot water from his eyes at will up to 10 feet, which he regularly exhibits in public performances. Nowadays he’s able to write his name on a wall … in tears. (But can he write his name in the snow?)
– Ananova News Service

In France, the age-old profession of gigolo is flourishing due to demand from a growing population of affluent, middle-aged divorcées. And the trend has been fueled by online advertising. One Paris-based escort who calls himself ‘Earl Grey’ offers his services for 150 euros ($240) an hour. He describes himself as a high-class English professional working in the investment industry. The earl claims he loves to meet new people and have fun; it’s not because he needs money. (Meeting people and having fun … the motivation of all hos, right?)
– “Times of London”

• Travis Fessler of Florence, Kentucky has broken the world record for stuffing the ‘Most Live Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches in The Mouth’ by cramming in 11 creepy crawlies at one time. This beats the previous record of 9. The big bugs had to measure at least 2.5 inches in length and survive the attempt in order to qualify for a “Guinness World Record”. (We wonder: Did his wife give him a kiss in congratulations?)
– j-walkblog.com
• No matter how long it’s been since you got lucky, you’ve got nothing on Britain’s Clara Meadmore. At 105-years-old, she’s cited as the ‘World’s Oldest Virgin’. She says doing the deed just never interested her as she’s convinced there’s ‘a lot of hassle involved’. She claims she knew she’d live a celibate life by the tender age of 12. (You never know hon’, your time may come yet!)
– “The Sun”

• The average North American uses paper and wood at a rate equivalent to one 100-ft (30.5 m) tree per year.
– “Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader”
• China is home to 16 of the most heavily polluted cities. But the air inside homes is up to 10 times worse than the smog outside. Why? 70% of homes still burn coal and wood for heat, and fully half of Chinese men smoke.
– “Los Angeles Times”

1941 [67] Tim McCarver, Memphis TN, FOX-TV Major League Baseball analyst/ex-MLB catcher (played in the 1950s, ‘60s, ‘70s & ‘80s)

1947 [61] Bob Weir, San Francisco CA, classic rock guitarist (Grateful Dead-“Touch of Grey”)

1958 [50] Tim Robbins, West Covina CA, movie actor (“City of Ember”, Oscar-“Mystic River”)/movie director (“Dead Man Walking”)/Susan Sarandon’s partner since 1988

1962 [46] Flea (Michael Balzary), Melbourne, Australia, rock bassist (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“Dani California”, “By the Way”)  FACTOID: He got his nickname because he shaved his head in high school, making him ‘bald as a flea’.

1977 [31] John Mayer, Bridgeport CT, pop singer/songwriter (“Waiting On the World to Change”, Grammy Award-“Your Body Is a Wonderland”)  FACTOID: Reports say he’s seeing ex-GF Jennifer Aniston again, the two spotted cozying up as they flew from New York to LA together.

• “Bosses Day”, an observance since 1958 in which employees are encouraged to ‘honor the boss with a small gift or greeting card’ (aka ‘Brown Nosers Day’). What makes a good boss? Attributes most people select in a recent poll: fair, honest, understanding, approachable, a good communicator. Among employees who consider their bosses to be ‘abusive’, 30% confess to having ‘slowed down or ‘purposely making errors’ on the job, according to another poll.

• “Dictionary Day”, celebrating the 1758 birth of Noah Webster, one of the most famous of lexicographers, who 1st published “Webster’s Dictionary” in 1828.

• “World Food Day”, declared annually by the United Nations. This year’s theme: ‘World Food Security: the Challenges of Climate Change and Bioenergy’. Catchy, ain’t it?
NET: http://www.fao.org/getinvolved/worldfoodday/en/

1846 [162] 1st public demonstration of ‘Surgical Anesthesia’ (early anesthetics include ether, hashish, opium, and alcohol)

1916 [92] 1st ‘Birth Control Clinic’ in America is opened by Margaret Sanger in Brooklyn NY

1921 [87] 1st (and only) mid-game NFL coaching change (Rock Island Independents fire Frank Coughlin at half-time)

1968 [40] Toronto Maple Leaf Jim Dorey sets 2 NHL penalty records (48 minutes in a game, 44 minutes in a period)

[Fri] “Crusoe” series debut (NBC)
[Fri] Gaudy Day
[Sat] Persons Day (Canada)
[Sat] “Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling” debuts (CMT)
[Sat] No Beard Day
[Sat] Sweetest Day
[Sun] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Mon] Hurricane Thanksgiving Day
[Tues] AC/DC releases “Black Ice”
This Week Is … Teen Read Week
This Month Is … Pasta Month

• “No, I cannot fix that electronic device.”
• “This website was assigned by my Sex Education teacher.”
• “Studies show that this video game improves teens’ scores on the SAT.”
• ”But all the other kids have graphing calculators!”
• “Don’t worry, it’s Dress-Like-a-Ninja Day at school.”
• “Yes, there will be girls at this party.”
• “I’ll go to sleep right after I finish this level.”
• “I’ll move out of the basement next month.”
– BBspot

Your phone contestant must guess which definition best describes the following odd words …
• ‘Tampan’
a. A Japanese musical instrument played with the elbows.
b. A large personal product for women.
c. An irritating South African fly that bites its victims between the toes. [CORRECT]

• ‘Guddle’
a. To catch a marathon runner and pass her/him.
b. To catch a baseball barehanded.
c. To catch fish barehanded. [CORRECT]

• ‘Threstle’    
a. A mixed martial art involving karate and leg wrestling.
b. A stool with 3 legs. [CORRECT]
c. The part of the human leg just above the kneecap.

A priest checks into a hotel and says to the clerk, “I hope the adult channel is my room is disabled?” The clerk responds: “No sir, it’s just regular porn … you sick bastard.”

What’s the dumbest name for a dog you’ve ever heard of?

Which are thought to be the only birds that can see the color blue?
a. Owls. [CORRECT]
b. Blue Jays.
c. Bald Eagles.
– “Amazing Facts”

Today’s Question: The average person eats about 33 of THESE a year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Doughnuts.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

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