Monday, October 27, 2008 Edition: #3887
We’ve Gone Bullistic!
WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• Film director Rob Marshall (“Chicago”, “Memoirs Of a Geisha”) is currently in the UK shooting his new movie musical “Nine”. He has a dog called ‘Gillie’, whom he apparently adores. When British Airways refused to allow the pooch to sit in First Class with Rob, the high-flying director reportedly got a private jet for him. ‘Gillie’ was even entered on the crew list to make sure there’d be no problems. (Further proof that some people have WAY too much money.)
• “Desperate Housewives” actor Gale Harold, who plays Teri Hatcher’s onscreen boyfriend, is out of intensive care following a motorcycle accident and expected to make a full recovery, according to his spokeswoman. “Desperate Housewives” creator/producer Marc Cherry says that Harold’s absence means at least one upcoming scene will have to be rewritten. (BS translation: Teri’s getting a new BF pronto.)
– BBC Entertainment
• St Louis Blues’ goaltender Manny Legace had to leave FRIDAY night’s game vs the LA Kings after the 1st period due to a strained left hip flexor. It seems he busted his butt at the beginning of the game by tripping over a carpet laid on the ice for the celebrity ceremonial puck-drop by everyone’s favorite hockey mom … Sarah Palin. To add insult to injury, Lagace’s homies went on to lose 4-0. (It’s not the first time Palin’s been called on the carpet.)
• Actress Angelina Jolie has reveled she will inevitably get married to Brad Pitt, but only to stop their kids from pestering them for a wedding. It just goes to show how persuasive a small army of multinational children can be. (If they can make Brangelina get married, think what else the Jolie-Pitt tribe could achieve if they harnessed their pester power properly!)
• Reports say it got so ugly on the set of “Ugly Betty” between Lindsay Lohan and the popular ABC-TV show’s star, America Ferrera, that Lohan has been cut from an agreed-upon 6-episode guest arc to just 4. An inside production source says Lohan showed up every day with an entourage, smoked continuously, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room because it was such a mess. (Nice to see she’s keeping up her rep.)
• Filmmaker Steven Soderbergh plans to make a movie about Cleopatra that he says will be similar to … an Elvis musical. The “Traffic” and “Ocean’s 11″ helmer hopes to pair Catherine Zeta Jones with Hugh Jackman in “Cleo”, a $30-million rock ‘n’ roll musical. (Like a bomb-sniffing dog … sometimes you just know.)
• Why did Seth Meyers have to do ‘Weekend Update’ all by his lonesome on “Saturday Night Live”? Co-anchor Amy Poehler went into labor and gave birth to a baby boy, ‘Archie Arnett’, just a couple of hours before showtime. Poehler DID perform on the special Thursday night edition of “SNL” and was still rehearsing for Saturday’s show on Friday. (This woman defines the word ‘trouper’!)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Toni Braxton is out; now the remaining 7 couples take on their first group routine, as well as learning another new dance.
• Hank Williams Jr – Not only will his long-running theme song kick off ESPN’s “Monday Night Football”, he’ll also perform the anthem live in Nashville TN prior to the Indianapolis Colts-Tennessee Titans game.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jennifer Hudson is scheduled to perform. That’s unlikely unless it was pre-recorded days ago as her mother & brother were shot and killed in their Chicago home FRIDAY. Police have been searching for Hudson’s 7-year-old nephew, who went missing after the fact.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Country singer Darius Rucker (“Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It”) performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – ‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin is the guest.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bee Gees – Even though the soundtrack generated many of their greatest hits, Robin Gibb admits he’s never seen “Saturday Night Fever” all the way through. (Guess he’s afraid of tossing his cookies as well.)
• Guns N’ Roses – Soft drink maker Dr Pepper is making good on a promise to provide every person in America a free can if “Chinese Democracy” was released in 2008. To collect, fans need to register online for a coupon on the album’s release date, NOVEMBER 23rd. However, the coupon is only available for 24 hours and expires FEBRUARY 28. (We’re guessing the Dr Pepper website will conveniently crash in about 5 minutes.)
• Oasis – A November 25th court date has been set for the 47-year-old Pickering ON man charged with attacking guitarist Noel Gallagher at Toronto’s “Virgin Festival”. Gallagher suffered broken and dislodged ribs after falling against onstage speakers.
• Paul McCartney – It wasn’t the most dignified of rescues, but that missing waxwork of his head left aboard a train has been found … by a homeless man in a dumpster. The lucky find netted the previously down-on-his-luck vagrant a £2,000-reward. The wax head was auctioned YESTERDAY.
• Taylor Swift – She sang the anthem ahead of Game 3 of the World Series SATURDAY in Philadelphia PA.
• U2 – Bono is set to write ‘6-to-10 pieces’ for the “New York Times” NEXT YEAR, ranging on topics from Africa to poverty to the music of Frank Sinatra. He’ll work free of charge. (As if he needs the dough anyway.)
BS WEIRD SCIENCE:
• Kay McMath, a food-technology expert at New Zealand’s Massey University, says ice cream tastes better when licked from a cone rather than eaten from a spoon. Why? The flavor is only released when the fat content is warmed in the mouth to at least body temperature. A spoon provides insulation, which keeps the ice cream colder in the mouth. Thus, less flavor. (When it comes to taste, you can’t lick a cone!)
• Students at Rice University in Houston TX are using genetic engineering to create beer that contains ‘resveratrol’, a chemical found in wine that’s been shown to reduce cancer and heart disease in lab animals. Rice U’s ‘BioBeer’ will be entered in the International Genetically Engineered Machine (iGEM) competition this NOVEMBER in Cambridge MA. (We always knew beer was a lifesaver!)
HOW TO ACCOMPLISH AMAZING FEET:
Cosmetic surgeons have come up with a slew of new procedures for women who are demanding perfect feet. Among them …
• ‘Cankle Liposuction’ – Sucking the fat out of shapeless ankles (nicknamed ‘cankles’) that appear to go straight down into the foot.
• ‘Foot Narrowing’ – A major operation to decrease the width of feet so they fit into fashionable shoes. The recovery period can last 2 months.
• ‘Toe Cascade Alteration’ – Adjusting toe lengths so they ‘cascade’ (arc uniformly) from the big toe down to the little toe, thereby enhancing their look in strappy sandals.
– “Independent on Sunday”
WHAT CREDIT CRUNCH?
• A 32-room apartment in NYC’s exclusive 740 Park Avenue building has just been put on the market for $60 million. Housed in the same apartment block where Jacqueline Kennedy grew up, the massive suite is being sold by Courtney Ross, widow of Time Warner mogul Steve Ross. The realty agent in charge says the apartment isn’t officially for sale but will be shown to 10 prospective buyers because, quote: “There will only be 10 people who will be appropriate to see it.” (The realtor works for the firm of ‘Snooty & Pompous Inc’.)
• How many houses does this guy own? Actor Nicolas Cage’s 24,000-sq ft, 12-bedroom, 10-bath mansion that sits on a whopping 26 acres of land in Newport Beach CA has just been put on the market for $15.9 million. LAST MONTH, his massive Bel-Air CA Tudor mansion was up for grabs for nearly $30 million. (If you can’t cut it as an actor … be an actor’s real estate broker!)
– “Newport Daily News”
FOR THE RECORD:
A 49-year-old Japanese man has won his 2nd consecutive victory at ‘Yufu’, Japan’s ‘Shouting Festival’, an event where participants are invited to work out their stress by shouting at the top of their lungs. The winning scream topped the charts at 111.4 decibels … approximately as loud as a power saw.
DID YOU KNOW?
• You can now download and print your own “Monopoly” money. (For the most impact, sneak off and do it DURING a game.)
• The tongue is the only human muscle to be attached at just one end. (If your tongue was attached at both ends, you’d sound like [co-host] on a Monday morning!)
– “Globe & Mail”
BS CHRONOMETER 10.27.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939  John Cleese, Weston-Super-Mare UK, movie actor (“Shrek” movies, “Die Another Day”)/former TV comedian (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus” 1969–74)
1958  Simon LeBon, Bushey UK, classic rock singer (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “The Reflex”)
1967  Scott Weiland (Kline), Santa Cruz CA, rock singer (Stone Temple Pilots-“Plush”, Velvet Revolver-“Slither”)/rehab veteran
1984  Kelly Osbourne, London UK, TV personality (“The Osbournes” 2002-04)/pseudo-’singer’ (“One Word”, “Changes”)/daughter of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery!
• “International School Library Day”, the 10th annual celebrated on the 4th MONDAY in OCTOBER to honor the place students so often use … to serve out detentions.
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, in honor of Teddy Roosevelt’s birthday (1858), namesake of the ‘Teddy Bear’. Ask listeners what animals they have saved from their childhood, where they keep them … and what they do with them.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ:
2006  “Saw III” opens in movie theaters, in which serial killer ‘Jigsaw’ (Tobin Bell) kidnaps a doctor to help keep him alive (we’re at #5 – how many “Saws” do you think they can make?)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901  1st ‘Boxer Shorts’ introduced (and the argument begins … boxers or briefs?)
1991  1st ‘Planet Hollywood’ restaurant officially opens (part-owners Bruce Willis & Arnold Schwarzenneger do the honors)
1998  Conrad Black launches new national newspaper, “The National Post” (he now reads it in the pokey)
2004  Boston Red Sox win their 1st World Series in 86 years by defeating St Louis Cardinals 4 games to 0
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Celine Dion’s “My Love Essential Collection” and the expanded 2-disc “My Love Ultimate Essential Collection”; Pink’s “Funhouse”; Rascal Flatts’ “Greatest Hits Vol 1“; the 3-CD box set “Reba McEntire’s 50 Greatest Hits”; and Snow Patrol’s “A Hundred Million Suns” are released
[Tues] Diwali (Hindu)
[Tues] Chocolate Day
[Wed] “Quantum of Solace“ world premiere (London)
[Fri] Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Cleaner Air Week / Disarmament Week / Give Wildlife a Break Week / International Herpes Awareness Week / International Magic Week / Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week / Prescription Errors Education & Awareness Week / Save Your Back Week / Toastmasters Week / World Hearing Aid Awareness Week
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE BECOMING YOUR MOTHER:
A recent study finds that most women begin noticing they’re taking on their mother’s characteristics in their late 20s or early 30s. Here are some of the signs …
• You take pictures at your kid’s school play after they’ve asked parents not to.
• You insist your kid wear a sweater when it’s you that is cold.
• You let your husband put a La-Z-Boy in the living room.
• As soon as someone walks in the house you ask if they want something to eat.
• Rock stars give you the creeps.
• You’ve caught yourself warning about something ‘poking out an eye’.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your best excuse to skip work on a Monday? (CareerBuilder.com notes these among the more unusual excuses actually used: ‘My dog is stressed out after the family reunion’; and ‘I don’t want to lose the parking space in front of my house.’)
HILARIOUS HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN GET-UPS:
• Get a stuffed dog and sew it’s mouth to your pant leg … you’re a mailman!
• Get a bunch of Barbie dolls and a black sweatsuit. Attach the dolls randomly all over the sweatsuit … you’re a babe magnet!
• Wear a black sweatsuit and randomly attach single socks all over it. You’re the sock thief from the dryer!
• Get a bunch of small, single-serving size cereal boxes. Glue them all over some old clothes and bring along a big, rubber knife. You’re a ‘cereal killer’!
• Paint your car tires with black paint, lay old clothes on driveway and run over them. Put them on and go as … roadkill.
• Tie a sneaker to the top of your head, wear pink and paint your face pink … wow, you’re a piece of chewing gum!
• Dress as a dog and carry a bottle of your favorite liquor … you’re a booze hound!
• Pin underwear to your torso and go as … a ‘chest of drawers’.
• Wear coveralls with all the pockets overflowing with stuffed cats … you’re a cat burglar!
• Plaster yourself with name tags, a different name on each … someone with an identity crisis!
• Dress up as you normally do. If someone asks what you are, tell them you’re a werewolf … but tonight there’s no Full Moon.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Of the world’s top 10 richest billionaires, the most come from which country?
b. India [CORRECT, 4 of the top 10.]
– “Forbes Magazine”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: When a man reaches his early 50s he’s at his best for THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Men are at their most romantic at age 53, according to a new study published in “The Telegraph”.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is 99% meanwhile.
NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A tip of Da Bull’s horns to Chris Kuchar @ All-Hit KBS [CJAT] Trail BC, back for another 3 months of service; and we salute samplers that include Chuck Springfield @ B107.3 [KBBK] Lincoln NE; Erika Holmes @ Favourites 590 [CJCW] Sussex NB; Arms Bumanlag @ AM800 [CKLW] Windsor ON; and Susan Filer @ The Blaze [KAUU] Salt Lake City UT. Welcome all!