Wednesday, October 15, 2008              Edition: #3879
Eat, Breath Sheet!

Three people, including a married pair of former housekeepers for David & Victoria Beckham have been arrested on suspicion of theft from the so-called ‘Beckingham Palace’ mansion in the English countryside, after items from the estate appeared on eBay (fencing online – not too discreet, is it?) . . . 72-year-old actor Dennis Hopper (“Easy Rider”, “Speed”) has been made a commander in the French Legion of Honor in a Paris ceremony and to mark the occasion, the Cinematique Francaise is opening a celebration of his work which will run through mid-JANUARY (hard to believe, but the guy’s made close to 200 movies) . . . Teen phenom Miley Cyrus has finished writing the ‘story of her life’, for which she’s reportedly collecting a 7-figure sum (nothing more riveting than the memoirs of a 15-year-old) . . . Movie star-mom Angelina Jolie tells “W” magazine that she’s passed her dagger-collecting hobby down to her 7-year-old son, Maddox (most of the collection is now stored in Jennifer Aniston’s back) . . . Lisa Marie Presley has named her new baby twins – Finley and Harper . . . In her new memoir, “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady & Finding My True Voice”, former “Brady Bunch” actress Maureen McCormick reveals her secret life of binging on cocaine, trading sex for drugs, and dating her TV sibling, Barry Williams, who played ‘Greg Brady’ . . . Jessica Simpson has denied rumors she’s engaged to Dallas Cowboy QB Tony Romo after they were supposedly spotted shopping for rings together (apparently the proposal is also – incomplete) . . . Actor Mark Wahlberg (“The Departed”) has finally set the date for his wedding to long-time GF Rhea Durham, sort of – sometime in AUGUST (time to get on with it – she’s already birthed 3 of his kids!) . . . And Britain’s Prince Charles has turned down an invitation to do a guest shot on the long-running UK sci-fi show “Dr Who” (they wanted to use his ears to stand in for a pair of SETI satellite dishes).

• “All For the Hall Benefit “ – Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell, and Vince Gill perform at the 2nd annual New York City fundraiser for the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum in Nashville. Top ticket for a table of 10 … $25,000!
• “Experience Hendrix” – A 19-date tour paying homage to the music & legacy of Jimi Hendrix launches in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. Guests committed to joining the touring group for performances across the country include Mike McCready of Pearl Jam, Aerosmith’s Brad Whitford, Robby Krieger of The Doors, and Cesar Rosas & David Hidalgo of Los Lobos.
• Jay-Z – TONIGHT he christens LA’s newly renovated iconic music venue, the Hollywood Palladium, with an intimate performance backed by a 12-piece band. The show’s said to be ‘reminiscent of Frank Sinatra’, who was the first performer on the legendary stage in 1940.
• “London Film Festival” – The 52nd annual opens with the world premiere of Ron Howard’s “Frost/Nixon”, an adaptation of the stage play about the influential 1960s television interviews. The fest features 15 world premieres, 14 international premieres, and 20 European debuts. Danny Boyle’s “Slumdog Millionaire” has been announced for the closing night gala OCTOBER 30.
• “Mobo Awards” – Hip-hop/R&B singer Estelle (“American Boy“) leads nominations at the 2008 ‘Music Of Black Origin’ awards in London with 5. Leona Lewis has 3 nods. Former Spice Girl Mel B and Run-DMC’s Rev Run co-host at Wembley Arena.
• Presidential Debate (ABC/CBS/CNN/NBC/PBS) – Another McCain-Obama presidential prize fight, this time at Hofstra University on Long Island NY, wipes out regular programming beginning at 9 pm.
• “Project Runway” (Bravo) – Part 2 of the season finalé airs, winding up Season 5 as the fight continues over which network will air Season 6.
• Rascal Flatts – They’re scheduled to  help volunteers build a playground in Birmingham, Alabama. They won the materials as recipients of the “Academy of Country Music/The Home Depot Humanitarian Award” earlier THIS YEAR.
• Simple Plan – The Montréal band are the first in a series of Canadian acts to record a version of “The Hockey Theme” (the former “Hockey Night in Canada” theme that CTV/TSN stole from the CBC). It debuts TONIGHT on TSN’s “Molson Canadian Wednesday Night Hockey” double-header: Boston @ Montreal, Edmonton @ Anaheim. (They’ve got the tune and Molson, now if they could bring back Murray Westgate for Imperial Oil, it’d be deja vu all over again!)
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Kenny Chesney promotes his new “Lucky Old Sun” album.

• AC/DC – The new album, “Black Ice”, won’t be released for another week but it’s already been leaked as an illegal download on YouTube and BitTorrent. Although defensive measures were quickly taken, files have remained on BitTorrent where they’ve reportedly racked up 400,000 downloads.
• Avril Lavigne – “National Enquirer” claims she & her Sum 41 rocker hubby Deryck Whibley are on the verge of splitting up. There’s no official word from the couple, but they put on a show of going out for dinner and posing hand-in-hand in Los Angeles THIS WEEK. (Think the paps were tipped?)
• Britney Spears – She’s just signed with AEG to produce an upcoming tour.
• Foo Fighters – A successful petition in frontman Dave Grohl’s hometown of Warren, Ohio has resulted in local street Markey Alley being renamed Dave Grohl Alley.
• George Michael – He’s reportedly been dropped from NEXT YEAR’s “Brit Awards”, the UK’s annual music accolades, due to his recent arrest for drug possession.
• Janet Jackson – After announcing her first North American tour in 7 years would resume, the 42-year-old has purportedly been told to postpone more “Rock Witchu” tour dates by her doctor due to an undisclosed illness. She was rushed to hospital in SEPTEMBER during a sound check for a Montréal concert. (Why aren’t they disclosing the problem? The speculation is likely far worse than the reality.)
• MIA – The 31-year-old “Paper Planes” singer (real name Mathangi Arulpragasam) has confirmed she’s pregnant with her first child. She’s engaged to Ben Brewer, singer/guitarist for NYC indie band The Exit.
• TI – He tells CNN he’s ‘anxious’ about his upcoming jail stint not scared, but he can’t wait to get the sentence over and done with. The “Whatever You Like” chart-topper is facing a 1-year prison sentence and 1,000 hours of community service after pleading guilty to illegal possession of 3 machine guns and 2 silencers following a 2007 arrest.

A Serbian chef is bringing out a no-holds-barred guide to cuisine with a twist: “The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls”. Hailed as the world’s first testicle recipe collection by e-book publishers YUDU, the cookbook includes author Ljubomir Erovic’s favorite dishes, such as ‘Testicle Pizza’, ‘Battered Testicles’, and ‘Barbecued Testicles & Giblets’. The e-book, available for download, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb chef peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks. Among those that get the ‘Erovic treatment’ – stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs, and turkeys,. (Okay guys, you can breathe now.)

A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 83% of happily married couples say they both love to cook.
• 60% of women say they secretly hate bridal showers.
• 54% of women say men are messier than women. And 48% of men agree!
• 53% of office workers take a daily lunch break of 30 minutes or less each day.
• 33% of men’s wedding rings have diamonds.
• 13% of us would rather go to the dentist than clean the house.

Like the incandescent lightbulb, energy-saving Compact Fluorescent Bulbs will likely be sent to the sidelines, just as we’ve finished replacing all the traditional bulbs throughout our homes with them. Why? CFLs contain a small bit of mercury that makes them potentially dangerous and requires careful disposal. As they’re touted to last 7 years, it’s a problem we’ll have to deal with down the line. They’re likely to be replaced by solid-state lighting such as light-emitting diodes (LEDs) which are even more efficient, sturdier, and longer lasting than CFLs. (Let that be a lesson: Always beware when there’s a mad rush for something new!)
– “Toronto Star”

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Peakniks’ – A survivalist movement that believes the so-called ‘Peak Oil Theory’ that suggests the world has reached its peak in oil production, and coming supply shortages will threaten society. (“My hardware store has been selling off survival gear like crazy ever since that community of peakniks moved in a few miles up the road.”)
• ‘Stay-at-Work Mom’ – A mother who returns to work soon after giving birth. The opposite of a mom who takes ‘mat-leave’. (“Heidi Klum is such a stay-at-work mom she was walking the runway in lacy underthings just 2 months after giving birth.”)
• ‘Sport Utility Bike’ (SUB) – A bicycle that has been extended in order to carry an extra passenger or cargo. A circa-$500 frame extension called a ‘FreeRadical’ can turn virtually any bike into a ‘SUB’.

While Dubai has gone upscale with the world’s first – and only – 7-star hotel, the Burj Al Arab, Switzerland has gone the opposite direction and opened – for a trial run – the world’s first ‘zero-star hotel’. Twin brother artists Frank & Patrik Riklin were commissioned by the town of Sevelen to convert a disused factory into a culture center and integrate the former nuclear bunker. So they’ve turned the old bomb shelter into a low-budget hotel/art installation. The price for accommodation per night is a modest $9-to-$13. The odd hotel is now ready to begin commercial operation provided locals approve the $73,600 project in a meeting scheduled for NOVEMBER 11. (They can break even in just 15 years …. if it’s booked every night.)
– “USA Today”
• King Henry VIII went from a 32-inch waist early in his rule to a 54-inch waist near the end. At his death, he weighed just under 420 lbs.
• Human toothpaste contains foaming agents that could make a dog vomit.
– “Modern Dog Magazine”
• Babies as young as 5 months can distinguish an upbeat tune from a gloomy one.
• The phrase ‘thank you’ has been traced to around 1400 AD. The phrase ‘thanks for nothing’ dates to 1703.

1959 [49] Emeril Lagasse, Fall River MA, TV chef born to a Portuguese mother & French-Canadian father (Food Network-“Essence of Emeril”, “Emeril Live”)/restaurateur (a string of restaurants in Las Vegas, Orlando, etc)/his various endeavors generate an estimated $150 million annually

1959 [49] Sarah Ferguson (‘Fergie’), London UK, Duchess of York/Prince Andrew’s ex-/former Weight Watchers spokesperson/sometime newspaper columnist

1969 [39] Paige Davis, Philadelphia PA, TV host (“Trading Spaces” 2001-05, 2008-present)

1970 [38] Ginuwine (Elgin Baylor Lumpkin), Washington DC, hip-hop singer (“In Those Jeans”, “Differences”)

1981 [27] Keyshia Cole, Oakland CA, R&B singer/songwriter (“Heaven Sent”, “I Remember”)

• “Global Handwashing Day”, the 1st annual as part of a campaign to motivate people everywhere to wash their hands with soap, a key factor in disease prevention. The initiative was hatched at the annual “World Water Week 2008” held in Stockholm, Sweden. 2008 also happens to be the UN’s “International Year of Sanitation”. A recent survey finds that just 55% of men wash their hands after using a restroom.

• “My Mom is a Student Day”, when kids are encouraged to show support for moms who’ve gone back to school by giving gifts of school supplies. (They should also ask mom at least 27 times if she’s finished her homework.)

• “National Grouch Day”, a day to be grumpy, ungrateful and cantankerous, and a day to allow grouches everywhere time to spout off. A grouch’s mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. Only then will a grouch feel in touch with his or her world and be happy.

• “National Sarcastic Awareness Month. Among the instructive examples cited by the Sarcasm Society: “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it” and “I feel so miserable without you … it’s almost like having you here.”

• “World Poetry Day”, a good day to sample some ‘modern poetry’ by reading the inane lyrics to a hit song over a mushy violin background track. You can find lots of dumb lyrics online here …

1973 [35] Patsy Cline becomes the first female solo performer inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame

1981 [27] 1st ‘wave’ created in an NFL stadium by professional cheerleader George Henderson (aka ‘Krazy George’) at Oakland-Alameda Coliseum, Oakland CA

1991 [17] World’s ‘Tallest Sand Castle’ is topped off at 19.5 feet

1993 [15] ‘Largest Cookie’ measures 1,001 square feet and includes 3 million chocolate chips (Arcadia CA)

[Thurs] Dictionary Day
[Thurs]  World Food Day
[Fri] “Crusoe” series debut (NBC)
[Fri] Gaudy Day
[Sat] Persons Day (Canada)
[Sat] “Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling” debuts (CMT)
[Sat] No Beard Day
[Sun] Evaluate Your Life Day
This Week Is … Freedom From Bullies at Work Week
This Month Is … Depression Education & Awareness Month

• In a laundromat: “Remove All Your Clothes When the Light Goes Out”.
• In a London department store: “Bargain Basement Upstairs!”
• At a second-hand shop: “We Exchange Anything –  Bicycles, Washing Machines, Etc. Why Not Bring Your Wife Along and Get a Wonderful Bargain?”
• Outside a photographer’s studio: “Out to Lunch. If Not Back by Five, out for Dinner Also.”
• Outside a nightclub: “The Most Exclusive Disco in Town. Everyone Welcome!”
• In health food store window: “Closed Due to Illness.”
• In a field: “The Farmer Allows Walkers to Cross the Field for Free, but the Bull Charges!”
• In a Japanese restaurant: “Sports Jackets May Be Worn but No Trousers.”
• In an Egyptian hotel: “If You Require Room Service, Please Open Door and Shout, ‘Room Service!’”

Who’s the creepiest movie actor ever?

It can take a man several marriages to understand the importance of monogamy.

Today’s Question: The average age of THESE is 24-years-old. There’s a good chance you’ve already seen at least one this morning.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Telephone poles.

If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.

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