Friday, October 10, 2008        Edition: #3876
Get a Load of This Sheet!

The Writers Guild of America is advising members NOT to work on a new comedy-variety show hosted by the Osbournes because producer FremantleMedia (“American Idol”) has a history of underpaying staff (they ought to advise against working on it because – it’s a comedy-variety show hosted by the Osbournes!) . . . Indie folk/roots/rock/country singer Rufus Wainwright has been commissioned to compose his debut opera, “ Prima Donna “, the story of a fading opera star which will premiere at the 2009 “Manchester International Festival” (thereby furthering his career goal which seems to be – obscurity) . . . 40-year-old ‘James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig has revealed he needed 8 stitches in his face and cosmetic surgery after an accident on the set of “Quantum of Solace” in JUNE that also resulted in a severed fingertip (now he can’t use his Lenova laptop with fingerprint reader security) . . . Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is doing everything he can to flog his upmarket Ciroc vodka, including going glam as Frank Sinatra in a new series of ads (Frank is no doubt spinning) . . . TV host-turned-producer Ryan Seacrest says he & Paris Hilton are developing a scripted series for her to star in, based on her real-life lavish lifestyle (just one more reason to hate on Ryan) . . . And 82-year-old Hugh Hefner tells “Us Magazine” that one reason he split with 29-year-old GF Holly Madison is – they tried to have a baby earlier this year and it didn’t work out (eww, did you just throw up in your mouth a little bit, too?).

• “Corner Gas” (CTV) – MONDAY the 6th and final season debuts as 19 new episodes begin airing. (Gas after Thanksgiving Dinner … how appropriate.)
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – TODAY Sheryl Crow is a guest.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps hosts; Lil Wayne is the musical guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – TONIGHT classic rocker Jackson Browne performs.

• Foo Fighters – They’re ticked at Republican presidential candidate John McCain for using their track “My Hero” at campaign rallies without permission. They’re demanding he cease and desist.
• Led Zeppelin – Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider tell’s MuchMoreMusic that Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones & Jason Bonham have tapped Alter Bridge singer Myles R Kennedy to front the band if Robert Plant continues to refuse to join them for a reunion tour.
• Nirvana – Former manager Danny Goldberg tells “NME” magazine he tried several interventions to get grunge rock legend Kurt Cobain into rehab prior to his 1994 suicide, but all failed to have any impact on the rocker’s drug addiction.
• Rolling Stones – “Hollywood Insider” says Mick Jagger is collaborating with former Eurythmics mastermind Dave Stewart on a new musical project. Just what it is, no one’s saying yet.

• “Body of Lies” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Director Ridley Scott enlists the help of Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in this thriller about the adventures of a CIA operative (DiCaprio) who uncovers a major terrorist plot brewing in Jordan. Only with the help of a veteran operative (Crowe) can he succeed in saving humanity.
• “City of Ember” ( PG Family Adventure ): This fantasy story is about an underground city which for generations has flourished in an amazing world of glittering lights. But when the city’s once powerful generator begins to fail, the citizens race to escape before the lights go out for good. An otherwise no-name cast features Bill Murray & Tim Robbins.
• “The Express” ( PG Sports Drama ): Clancy Brown has the lead in this bio-film about Ernie Davis, a high school football star recruited by Syracuse University, where he becomes the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. Co-stars Rob Brown (“Coach Carter”) & Dennis Quaid (“Any Given Sunday”). The film uses a blend of archival and recreated footage.
• “Quarantine” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): The people locked inside an apartment building during a quarantine mysteriously disappear. The only evidence left behind is a videotape shot by a TV reporter (“Dexter’s” Jennifer Carpenter) and her cameraman (Steve Harris) who were there to investigate the initial 9-1-1 call.

Just when you thought life couldn’t possibly get any more hi-tech, a company called Garment Guard has come up with ‘Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers’. Yep, they’re filters for flatulence. The self-adhesive fabric filters are impregnated with activated carbon, which purportedly screen out any … er … unintentional releases. A pack of 5 sells for $9.95, a small pittance for protection at this weekend’s chili cook-off. (Be forewarned … this is NOT a silencer.)
– “Curious Times”
The National Cheer Safety Foundation is calling for federal regulation of cheerleading in the United States. Nearly 30,000 cheerleaders a year are treated for accidents in emergency wards, and several deaths have been reported. Kimberly Archie, founder of the NCSF, says 14 cheerleaders have died suddenly after heart attacks believed to be attributable to the stresses of routines. (Of course it’s dangerous! Remember that movie “The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom”? No, huh.)
– “Globe & Mail”

Not many are using the ‘R’ word yet but it sure seems like one’s on the way. A few tips on how to help your money stay local, either in your community, in your country, or in your pocket …
• Shop at local farms or farmers markets.
• Buy from consignment stores.
• Eat out at independent restaurants, rather than chains.
• Grow your own food.
• Raise a couple of chickens, eat the eggs.
• Buy goods made in your own country.
• Shop at local independent stores, not chains.
• Support local service industries.
• Shop at garage sales.
• In locales that offer it, return used bottles for refund.

Hundreds of penguins that migrated too far north on the coast of Brazil have been flown back to their regular feeding grounds. The 373 young Magellanic penguins, which were among some 1,600 emaciated birds that showed up in locations hundreds of miles north of normal, were rehabilitated by the International Fund for Animal Welfare, then flown 1,500 miles south aboard an air force cargo plane. Experts say changes in currents and wind temperatures likely confused the young penguins and contributed to their wandering too far north. (Plus most were males and wouldn’t ask for directions.)

• In the 19th century, it was common practice for a Japanese women to dye their teeth black. They believed that this enhanced sex appeal and maintained healthier teeth.
• With over 2,000 shops and 26 km of walkways, Montréal has the largest underground city in the world.
• Americans eat the most chicken per person compared to anywhere else in the world.
• The origin of the soldier term ‘G-I’ is an abbreviation for ‘Government Issue’, which was stamped on the kits supplied to US Army recruits during World War II.

1954 [54] David Lee Roth, Bloomington IN, classic rock singer (Van Halen-“Panama”, “Jump”)/failed radio broadcaster

1967 [41] Mike Malinin, Washington DC, rock drummer (Goo Goo Dolls-“Give A Little Bit”, “Iris”)

1969 [39] Brett Favre [‘farv’], Gulfport MS, NFL QB (NY Jets 2008, Green Bay Packers 1992-2007)/1996 Super Bowl Champion/3-time NFL MVP/NFL records for ‘Career Pass Attempts’; ‘Career Pass Completions’; ‘Career TD Passes’; and ‘Career Wins as a Starting QB’

1969 [39] Wendi McLendon-Covey, Bellflower CA, TV actress (‘Deputy Clementine Johnson’ on “Reno 911!” since 2003)

1972 [36] Dean Roland, Stockbridge GA, rock singer/guitarist (Collective Soul-“December”, “Shine”)

1973 [35] Mario Lopez, San Diego CA, TV personality (“Extra!” 2007-08, “Dancing With the Stars” 2006, “Saved By The Bell” 1989-94)

1974 [34] Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kannapolis NC, NASCAR racing driver (2004 “Daytona 500” winner, 2000 “Winston Cup” winner)/sometime movie actor (“Cars”, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”)/son of NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt (1951-2001)  FACTOID: SUNDAY NASCAR driver Kyle Petty performs an opening set for country singer Gary Allan at Earnhardt’s Whisky River Bar in Charlotte NC.

Movie actress Joan Cusack (“School of Rock”) is 46; TV actress Jane Krakowski (“30 Rock”) is 40; TV actress Emily Deschanel (“Bones”) is 32.

Movie actor Hugh Jackman (“The Prestige”) is 40; Country musician Martie Maguire (Dixie Chicks) is 39; Rapper Young Jeezy (“Put On”) is 31.
• “Angel Food Cake Day”, honoring the dessert every starving dieter touts as being ‘fat-free’ … just before inhaling it in its entirety.
• “Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day”, a great opportunity to show off your beloved pal to work associates … and don’t forget to dress him up for the big event!
• “Nobel Peace Prize”, the 2008 winner is announced at the Norwegian Nobel Institute in Oslo.
• “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’ through October 18th. It also features the largest “Thanksgiving Day Parade” in Canada (CTV).
• “World Egg Day”, observed annually on the 2nd FRIDAY of OCTOBER to celebrate the many uses of chicken embryos.
• “World Mental Health Day”, a day for global mental health education & awareness first celebrated in 1992 at the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, which operates in more than 150 countries.

• “National Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign to encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people to ‘Talk About It’ with their families and friends.

• “Dia de la Raza” (‘Day of the Race’), observed in Mexico and throughout Latin America to celebrate Hispanics everywhere.
• “Farmers Day”, to honor all farmers and recognize all that they do.
• “Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed.

• Thanksgiving Day, which in Canada dates back to 1578 when explorer Martin Frobisher held a formal ceremony in what is now Newfoundland & Labrador to give thanks for surviving his long sea journey. Starting in 1879 “Thanksgiving Day” was observed every year but the date was proclaimed annually and changed year-to-year. In 1957, the Canada’s Parliament proclaimed it would be observed annually on the 2nd MONDAY in OCTOBER.

1992 [16] HBO pays $20 million for the rights to broadcast Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous” concert from Bucharest, Romania

1933 [75] 1st packaged ‘Laundry Detergent’ (Procter & Gamble’s ‘Dreft’)

1966 [42] The floor game “Twister” is introduced by Milton Bradley (try the new ‘Hot Oil Edition’)

1983 [25] Tom Monaghan (Domino’s Pizza) becomes owner of the Detroit Tigers, promising that his team will win the next year’s World Series or the entire season is free (he proves to be right)

1976 [32] Greece’s 98-year-old Dimitrion Yordanidis becomes ‘Oldest Person to Complete a Marathon’ (he was even older when he finally finished 7 hours, 33 minutes later)

[Mon] Columbus Day (USA)
[Mon] Sukkot begins (Jewish)
[Mon] Thanksgiving Day (Canada)
[Tues] Full Hunter’s Moon
[Tues] Kenny Chesney releases “Lucky Old Sun” album
[Tues] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Wed] “Project Runway” season finalé (Bravo)
This Week Is … International Letter Writing Week
This Month Is … Kitchen & Bath Month

• Be thankful for small things to worry about, they give us practice for the big stuff.
• Be thankful if getting old and fat is the worst thing you have to worry about.
• Be thankful we don’t have to pay for sunrises or sunsets as we could never afford one.
• Be thankful for having too much work to do, that’s job insurance.
• Be thankful for friends even if they are aggravating. They probably feel the same way about you.
• Be thankful for uncertainty as it gives you more time to make a decision.
• Be thankful when you make a mistake that you can always blame on someone else… or the dog.
• Be thankful we don’t always get what we deserve as what we deserve may be worse than what we get.
• Be thankful you are free to vote your choice … even if there is no choice worth voting for.
– Thanks to Sheila Moss.

• “I wonder what this does?”
• “Did she say the right leg or the left?”
• “I’d feel a lot better about this if the dotted lines were pre-drawn like back at night school.”
• “Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!”
• “Hand me that … uh … that uh … thingy.”
• “Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
• “You know, there’s big money in kidneys and this guy’s got two of ’em.”
• “Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card ?”
• “Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”
• “OOPS!!”

• Considering how things are going … is it time to start crying over spilled milk?
• How come no matter what color the soap is, the suds are always white?
• What do people in China call their good plates?
• The meek shall inherit the Earth but how long will they stay meek after they get it?
• Why not make hockey more interesting and use a white puck?

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Ne-Yo – “Closer”
4. MIA – “Paper Planes”
3. Lil Wayne – “Got Money”
2. Rihanna – “Disturbia”
1. TI – “Whatever You Like”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

The best thing about gay men is that they’re not always trying to prove they’re not gay.

Today’s Question: When we get married THIS often changes; then if we get divorced it changes again.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Voting preference.

Whoever rows the boat doesn’t have time to rock it.

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