Tuesday, October 14, 2008        Edition: #3878
Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

48-year-old double Oscar-winning actor Kevin Spacey has given his inaugural speech as the new Cameron Mackintosh Visiting Professor of Contemporary Theatre at Britain’s prestigious Oxford University (he’s taking over from Patrick Stewart – ‘Captain Jean-Luc Picard’) . . . 19-year-old “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens claims an attack by a middle-aged man during a recent night out in London with BF Zac Efron left her with a cut and bloody cheek (alas, the hitman failed) . . . Shooting on George Clooney’s latest film, the anti-war satire “Men Who Stare at Goats”, was temporarily interrupted over the weekend by a strong earthquake that shook the set in Puerto Rico (which is standing in for the bleak backdrop of Iraq – tourism authorities must be thrilled) . . . “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe has decided to ‘honor his grandmother’s passing by continuing to perform in “Equus” on Broadway’ (BS translation: I can’t go to Northern Ireland for a bloody funeral, I’m making too much money!) . . . Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony have renewed their wedding vows in a secret Las Vegas ceremony, 4 years after they first got hitched (he wore a tux and, as usual, she wore the pants) . . . Rapper-turned-actor Mark Wahlberg says he will never participate in a reunion of Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, admitting he’d rather hide his embarrassing musical past from his 3 young children (thank-you!) . . . Actress Lindsay Lohan has announced she plans to dress up as Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin for Halloween (her & about half of everyone else – all you need is horned-rim glasses and a bad wig) . . . And 70-year-old former country superstar Kenny Rogers now says he regrets resorting to plastic surgery in a bid to stay young, admitting the invasive procedures ‘took the warmth out of his eyes’ (not to mention putting his belly button on his forehead).

• Elvis Presley – The new album “Elvis Presley Christmas Duets” is released, featuring present-day singers (Carrie Underwood, Gretchen Wilson, LeAnn Rimes, Martina McBride, Sara Evans, etc) electronically paired up with the King on some of his holiday classics. Most weren’t even born when Elvis died in 1977.
• “Eli Stone” (ABC/CTV) – Katie Holmes (Mrs Tom Cruise) guest stars as an attorney who somehow ends up donning a skin-tight leotard and performing a song & dance number.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Singer/songwriter Jesse McCartney guests.
• Kenny Chesney – He releases the new “Lucky Old Sun” album in a deluxe edition with 4 bonus tracks. Among other features, the special edition gives fans a chance to win a trip to the opening of his 2009 tour. The regular version of the CD arrives NEXT TUESDAY.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – OAR (“Shattered [Turn the Car Around]”) guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – 1990s rockers Blues Traveler are onstage.
• Neil Young – The classic rocker kicks off a 2-month North American tour in St Paul, Minnesota that will culminate at NYC’s Madison Square Garden.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Kings Of Leon (“Sex on Fire”) perform.

• Hank Williams Jr – LAST NIGHT he performed at a GOP McCain-Palin rally in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He & the female VP candidate have something in common … they both hunt moose.
• Metallica – NOVEMBER 12th drummer/songwriter Lars Ulrich is selling a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting from his art collection that could set a new auction record for the artist, according to Christie’s. Ulrich, who collects contemporary art, 20th-century design, and tribal art, has owned the painting for 10 years.
• Oasis – They’ve topped the UK chart with their 7th studio album, “Dig Out Your Soul”, maintaining their unbroken run of #1 albums since their 1994 debut, “Definitely Maybe”.
• TI – He’s broken his own recently set record for the largest leap to the top of the “Billboard” ‘Hot 100′ singles chart, as “Live Your Life” f/Rihanna climbed 79 places.
• U2 – You’d think that Bono & The Edge, still finishing the band’s new album “No Line On the Horizon”, would have little time for outside projects. But the duo are also busy writing the score for the upcoming Broadway production of “Spiderman: The Musical”. With a reported budget of $40 million, it will be the most expensive in Broadway history.

• “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull” ( Action Adventure ): In the 4th outing of the George Lucas/Steven Spielberg franchise, Harrison Ford’s whip-cracking archaeologist is supported by boy wonder Shia LaBeouf as ‘Indy’ is called into action to stop a Soviet plot to use ancient artifacts to take over the world. To get in shape for the role, 65-year-old Ford spent 3-hours-a-day in the gym so he could perform his own stunts. Cate Blanchett co-stars. Also released as part of “Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventure Collection”.
• “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie” ( Animated Family ): A trio of vegetables who work dead-end restaurant jobs find the adventure they’re looking for when they’re transported back to the 17th century to save a royal family from a dastardly tyrant. Based on the long-running kids’ video series.
• “The Strangers” ( Horror Thriller ): Scott Speedman & Liv Tyler star as a young couple who hope to cozy up in a vacation home but they’re terrorized by 3 unknown assailants: ‘Dollface’ (Australian fashion model Gemma Ward), ‘The Man In the Mask’, and ‘Pin-Up Girl’. Produced close to 3 years ago, the film was finally slipped into theaters THIS SPRING after a lengthy delay.
• Also released TODAY: “Alfred Hitchcock Premiere Collection”; “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: The 8th Season” (TV); “Holiday Inn: 3-Disc Collector’s Set” (Seasonal Classic); “How I Met Your Mother: Season 3“ (TV); “The Sarah Silverman Program: Season 2, Volume 1“ (TV); and “Standard Operating Procedure” (Documentary).

A German study has found that having an affair can by deadly for men, not because their wives might kill them if they found out but because …. guys are about twice as likely to kick during relations with a mistress. Research done at the Centre for Forensic Medicine in Frankfurt has studied over 30,000 deaths over the last 30 years and found that 60 of the men died during sex, almost all by heart attack. While only 1-in-4 died in the arms of their wives, over half succumbed during an unfaithful fling. One possible explanation offered by researchers: they may have been stressed out by trying harder to impress. (At least they died with a smile on their face!)
– “Curious Times”

Why tip at all, since the bill is presented at the end of a meal and can’t retroactively improve service? Yet economists & psychologists studying the phenomenon note that most of us tip even when we have no intention of ever returning to a restaurant. Studies show we generally tip the same percentage no matter the quality of service and no matter the setting. Researchers think the reasons why include: it’s simply expected and we fear social disapproval if we don’t; for ego gratification, especially among those who over-tip; and – perhaps most intriguingly – it’s embarrassing to have another person wait on us, so we need to pay, psychologically, for the guilt involved in the unequal relationship. (Yeah right. Peel me a grape and feed me, would ya?)
– “NY Times”

Dutch scientists have developed underwear that calls an ambulance if the wearer has a heart
attack. Philips Research has developed bras, undershirts and underpants that register and analyse the wearer’s heartbeat. The sensors are linked, via wireless technology, to a mobile phone which automatically makes contact with an alarm center or ambulance. (“I’ve got a pants emergency on line 4!”)

Britain’s Manchester University has rated the stress factor of various professions. The most stressful occupations are ‘miner‘ and ‘police officer’. The least stressful jobs – ‘astronomer’ and ‘librarian’. However, a Washington DC-based career consultant says the least stressful jobs are ‘sleeper’ (people who nap while researchers study sleep patterns), ‘lotion tester’ (people who test sunscreens by lying in the sun), and ‘toy enjoyment controller’ (hired by toy makers to play with toys all day and figure out which are likely to become popular with children).
– “Health Magazine”

Aside from their use as a news grapevine, rumors serve a second purpose, researchers have found. People spread them to shore up their social networks, and boost their own importance within them. So people do have an agenda in spreading rumors, but it’s directed more at the people they’re spreading them TO, rather than the subject they’re ABOUT. Researchers have found we tend to spread rumors to warn friends of potential trouble, or otherwise help them out, while remaining mum if it would be harmful to spread a given rumor to a certain person. (Rumor has it your new hairdo sucks, but I think it looks better than the last one.)
– “Boston Globe”

The Budweiser & Clamato Chelada (‘chay-LA-da’) has become one of the hottest new products to hit the market in California and Texas. What’s a chelada? Also known as a michelada (‘meetch-a-LA-da’), it’s a Mexican beer cocktail. Latinos have been mixing beer with Clamato for decades, so Anheuser-Busch has merely pre-packaged the cocktail for easier consumer use. (Around these parts, it’s called a Calgary Red-Eye [or Saskatchewan Red Eye]. Partiers have been downing them on the morning after for decades.)
(You know you’re hungover when you can’t even put out the effort to pour tomato juice in your beer.)
– boozingear.com

• Three small snacks are healthier than one big meal after a strenuous workout.
– “Running Research”
• Nearly half of all mothers of toddlers show signs of depression.
– “Washington Post”
• Bad breath may be worst first thing in the morning, but also peaks in late afternoon.
– “Glamour”
• We’re more likely to be turned on by movie love scenes if the characters involved are strangers rather than married.  
– “Woman’s Own”

“Nicole Kidman’s forehead looks like a f—ing flatscreen TV! How big is that forehead?”
– Rock matriarch and Botox fan Sharon Osbourne slamming Hollywood stars who refuse to admit they’ve had cosmetic treatment.

1927 [81] Sir Roger Moore, London UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-85 including “A View to a Kill”, “The Spy Who Loved Me”)  FACTOID: In a new interview he says he’d gladly have swapped his ‘007′ role to play one of the villains, because the bad guys get the best lines.

1939 [69] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (Polo, CK Jeans)

1974 [34] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Travelin’ Soldier”, “Landslide”)
1978 [30] Usher (Raymond), Dallas TX, pop/R&B singer (“Love In This Club”, “Yeah”)

1996 [12] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, Madonna’s daughter via fitness trainer Carlos Leon

• “Be Bald & Be Free Day”, a day to hang up the old wig or toupée and be shiny and proud. Which celebrities wear the worst and most-obvious toupées? What are the advantages of being bald? (Money saved on haircuts, shampoo, conditioner, combs, etc.)

• “Dessert Day”, honoring the tasty treat that tops off dinner. Nowadays just 14% of families regularly consume dessert, as opposed to 24% only 20 years ago. But that number may be a little misleading because studies show that younger people (under 45) eat dessert foods more often, occasionally having them in place of regular meals.

• “Frump Day,” honoring the world’s largest silent majority: those average, unpretentious, regular folks. You know … riffraff.

• “Hunter’s Moon”, the Full Moon of OCTOBER peaks at 4:02 pm EDT. Its name comes from the fact that it helps hunters more easily spot their prey.

• “Train Your Brain Day,” a day to ‘clean out the cobwebs, blast through the barriers and click on the light bulbs’ because humans use only a small percentage of their brain power.

• “Quarrel Festival” (or “Rough House Festival”) in Japan when people jostle one another to demonstrate their skill and balance in handling burdens. Impress the boss by giving her a cross-body block today.

1916 [92] 1st ‘Nude Movie Scene’ (Annette Kellerman in “Daughter Of the Gods”)

1926 [82] Author AA Milne’s silly old bear of ‘Hundred-Acre Wood’ is introduced in the children’s classic “Winnie-the-Pooh”

2005 [03] Actor Daniel Craig is announced as the new ‘James Bond’ at a news conference in London UK

1947 [61] 1st ‘Supersonic Flight’ (Chuck Yeager reaches mach 1.015 in Bell XS-1 nicknamed ‘Glamorous Glennis’)

1990 [18] ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald successfully executes 21,663 loops with a yo-yo in 3 hours (Toronto)

1993 [15] ‘Largest Lasagna’ weighs 8,188 lbs and measures 70 ft x 7 ft (Salinas CA)

[Wed] “Project Runway” season finalé (Bravo)
[Wed] 52nd London Film Festival opens
[Wed] 13th Mobo Awards (London)
[Wed] Grouch Day
[Wed] Poetry Day
[Thurs] Dictionary Day
[Thurs]  World Food Day
[Fri] “Crusoe” series debut (NBC)
This Week Is … International Pinball Week
This Month Is … Alternate History Month

Have a listener or studio guest take their pick from each pairing while you list ‘em off rapid fire …
• Corn Flakes or hot oatmeal?
• “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” or “Body of Lies”?
• Regular coffee or espresso?
• Designer jogging outfit or designer 3-piece suit?
• Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
• Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox?
• Blueberry pancakes with heated maple syrup or 3-cheese-and-mushroom omelette?
• Candlelight dinner at home or a night on-the-town dancing?
• Football or hockey?
• Autumn or Spring?

A comfortable shirt is one on which you can blow your nose.

How old were you when you first wore makeup?

Today’s Question: Redheads are more likely to do THIS on the commute to and from work.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sing.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

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