Monday, October 13, 2008        Edition: #3877
Sweet Sheet!

• Despite public denials over the past week, a Spears family member has come forward and confirmed that Britney’s 17-year-old li’l sis’, Jamie Lynn, IS in fact pregnant again. What’s more, baby daddy Casey Aldridge reportedly erupted in anger when he found out. Seems Jamie Lynn had been keeping the pregnancy secret and he only learned about it through … media reports. (Perhaps that’s because the tabloids are more interested in her than he is?)
• 19-year-old “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens has sung & danced her way into a new $2.75-million home in Studio City CA. Her co-star/BF Zac Efron can now visit her unchaperoned in her 6 bedroom, 6.5 bath home which includes pool, spa and ‘barbeque island’. Also part of Vanessa’s new digs: a wine cellar. (Which, of course, she won’t use till she turns 21 … that would be illegal!)
• Lisa Marie Presley has given birth to twin girls, her publicist has confirmed. Elvis Presley’s 40-year-old daughter gave birth by C-section LAST WEEK and both the babes and mom are reported to be healthy and resting at home. Presley is married to producer Michael Lockwood and lives in LA. She has a 19-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son from a previous marriage. (She may not be much of a singer but she sure is good at birthin’!)
• Lindsay Lohan has filed a motion seeking to prevent the videotaping of an upcoming deposition she’s scheduled to give as part of an ongoing lawsuit filed by her bosom buddy Samantha Ronson against her former attorneys. (Weird. You’d think after “I Know Who Killed Me”, Lindsay would no longer be worried about embarrassing herself on-camera.)
• MTV has officially announced that Whitney Port, best known as Lauren Conrad’s exposition fairy on “The Hills”, will be getting her own spinoff show, scheduled to begin airing in Spring 2009. Titled “The City”, the new series will follow her as she moves to NYC, begins working for fashion maven Diane Von Furstenberg, and meets a new (fake) BF: Aussie musician Jay Lyon, who already has one ignoble celeb relationship on his resume … Tara Reid. (The new show is geared to the millions of self-loathing viewers around-the-world who can’t seem to get enough of vapid idiots staring at each other while they chew their food.)
• According to a new study of tabloid sales, Angelina Jolie is the celebrity face most people like to see on the cover. A no-doubt-totally-peeved Jennifer Aniston comes in 2nd. Other top sellers include Jamie Lynn Spears and Nicole Richie, but it’s Jolie who has the best score in both likability and overall sales. (Here’s where it hurts: Aniston was #1 on the list LAST YEAR. Does Angelina have to steal everything?)
• In FRIDAY’s “20/20” interview with Barbara Walters (ABC), ex-model Christie Brinkley’s ex-, Peter Cook, claimed he’s not a scumbag pervert … he’s just drawn that way. He went on to explain his motivations in the world’s ugliest divorce trial are not financial, he only wants his kids to know the ‘real’ him. (He must mean the guy who’s the loving father … not that other guy who bathed daily in online smut and had a fling with his 18-year-old assistant.)

• “ASCAP Country Music Awards” – The 46th annual accolades are handed out at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. Reba McEntire is presented the prestigious ‘ASCAP Golden Note Award’.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – Flobots (“Handlebars”) are on.
• “My Own Worst Enemy” (NBC) – Debut of a new drama series starring Christian Slater in 2 roles: A typical family guy living in suburbia and a ‘Jason Bourne’-type operative working for a secret organization. (Sometimes you just know it’s a bomb: Beware of any show that transports people backward in time; features an evil twin; or stars a guy with only one facial expression.)
• Travis Barker – The ex-Blink-182 drummer is scheduled to undergo his 7th surgery since surviving that horrific plane crash LAST MONTH. He says things are improving; he’s now able to move all the fingers on his right hand.

• Bon Jovi – Boston musician Bart Steele, frontman for a band called The Chelsea City Council,  claims they stole the 2004 ditty, “Man, I Love This Team”, and refashioned it into a promotional track for Major League Baseball called “I Love This Town”. For this alleged ‘unauthorized derivative version’ of his song, Steele is suing for $400 billion. Yep, that’s with a ‘b’.
• Guns N’ Roses – The long-awaited (and totally overinflated) release of “Chinese Democracy”  is now set as a Best Buy exclusive for Sunday, NOVEMBER 23rd, rather than the usual Tuesday release. The album has been in the works for more than a decade.
• Kenny Chesney – The late Bob Marley’s band The Wailers appear in the video for “Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven”. The legendary Jamaican reggae group actually contacted him first to ask if he’d write a song and record it with them as part of their new album due NEXT YEAR.
• Li’l Kim – A year in the slammer can put a girl behind in her work. She’s already been sued for failing to submit a manuscript for the autobiography she’s already been paid $40,000 to write; and now a record label is claiming she hasn’t delivered the music tracks promised after it spent thousands on equipment to outfit a rented house near her NJ home as a recording studio.
• Madonna – According to Robyn, the Swedish pop star who was the show opener during the European leg of the “Sticky & Sweet” tour, she and her crew were under strict orders not to approach Madonna, not to speak to Madonna and, above all … no pictures!

Kinesiologists offer up some advice to office workers on avoiding neck and back pains …
• Adjust your chair so your feet are firmly on the floor. Keep moving; at the very least, shift your position every 20 minutes or so.
• Stretch. Ignore the funny looks from colleagues.
• If someone says, “Can I get you a coffee?” say, “No, sit down … I’ll get us some.” And don’t e-mail, text or phone anyone in the office … stand up and go talk to them.
• Don’t skip your lunch hour. Go outside for a brisk walk.
– “Daily Telegraph”

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … boys gossip too! While boys are more likely than girls to be physically aggressive, they’re just as capable of social aggression – such as gossiping and excluding others – as their female counterparts, according to researchers at the University of Arizona. (At least guys don’t go to the john in pairs to diss.)
• Scientists say … smoking makes you dumb. A 20-year study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan reveals that long-term use of tobacco dims the speed and accuracy of a person’s thinking ability, and actually reduces IQ levels. (Hmm, remember all those pipe-smoking profs you had in college?)
– ANI Health & Science
• Scientists say … the average American now spends more time using media such as TV and the Internet than sleeping. Ball State University researchers have found that Americans spend 9 hours a day watching TV, using the Web, or talking on a cellphone. And fully a third of that time is devoted to using 2 or more media at the same time. (No wonder we’re fat.)
– BBC News

A Belgian security company is offering to send out professional thieves to test stores’ security
systems. The Crime Control Company says its shoplifters are never caught and guarantees the return of all stolen goods afterwards. They fill in a report explaining how they did it, giving advice on how stores can improve security. (They also likely sketch out a map of security systems so they can come back at midnight and help themselves.)
– Reuters

Henry Owings new book, “The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture For Fans & Bands”, contains a list of dos and don’ts for both established and aspiring rock stars. Among them …
• Do not name your band after another current band’s song or album. Come to think of it, don’t name your band after any song or album. Nobody cares about your ‘good’ taste.
• Turntables are not, nor have they ever been, a musical instrument.
• Using your computer onstage means you’re as likely to be checking your email as you are to be performing music.
• Never personally master your own recordings unless you really don’t want anyone to listen to them.
• Everybody thinks they’re funny. Most people aren’t … especially soundmen.
• Few singers are allowed to drape scarves on microphone stands. You are not one of them.
• Rhythm guitar players should always look like they want to be somewhere else.
• Those who figure they will play bass because it has 2 fewer strings than a guitar and is therefore easier to learn should probably just carry cases that hold guitars and basses.
• Singers who tell the audience to ‘Give it up for yourselves!’ should be attacked by hyenas.
• Never spend more time on your hair than you would eating a modest-sized meal.

• You’re born with 300 bones but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.
• The average human body contains enough carbon to make 900 pencils, enough iron to make a 3-inch nail, and enough phosphorous for 2,200 match heads.

1941 [67] Paul Simon, Newark NJ, oldies singer (“Graceland”, w/Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1942 [66] Jerry Jones, LA CA, petroleum businessman/NFL owner (Dallas Cowboys)

1959 [49] Marie Osmond, TV personality/pop singer (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “Donny & Marie” 1998, 1976)/pop-country singer (”Paper Roses”)      

1962 [46] Kelly Preston, Honolulu HI, movie actress (“Broken Bridges”, “Jerry McGuire”)/Mrs John Travolta since 1991

1967 [41] Kate Walsh, San Jose CA, TV actress (‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ on “Private Practice” since 2007, ‘Dr Addison Montgomery‘ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-07)

1969 [39] Rhett Akins, Valdosta GA, country singer (“Don’t Get Me Started”, “That Ain’t My Truck”)

1971 [37] Sacha Baron Cohen, London UK, movie actor (“Borat”, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”/TV comedian (”Da Ali G Show” 2003-04)  UP NEXT: The as-yet-untiled ‘Bruno’ movie, based on his flamboyant Austrian fashionista TV character (2009).

1971 [37] Billy Bush, Killingworth CT, TV host (“The Today Show” since 2007, “Access Hollywood” 2004-08)/former radio personality (“Billy Bush & The Bush League Morning Show” @ Z104 Washington DC/first cousin of George W Bush

1980 [28] Ashanti (Douglas), Glen Cove NY, R&B singer (“Only U”, “Foolish”)/movie actress (“Resident Evil: Extinction”, “Coach Carter”)

• “Columbus Day” in America, a lame excuse for a holiday if there ever was one. It commemorates  Christopher Columbus’ October 12th, 1492 ‘discovery of the New World’, which had already been discovered by Vikings, Siberians, Aboriginals, Aztecs, and many others centuries before. It’s a holiday in DC and for all federal employees, observed on the 2nd MONDAY in OCTOBER since 1971.

• “Indigenous Peoples’ Day”, observed annually on the 2nd MONDAY in OCTOBER to recognize those who lived in this land before the arrival of Columbus.

• “International Skeptics Day”. We’re not sure there’s really any point to this or that it accomplishes anything really.

• “Sukkot” begins at sundown, the Jewish celebration that continues through OCTOBER 20th. Also known as the “Feast of Booths”, “Feast of Tabernacles”, “Season of Our Happiness”, and “Feast of Ingathering”, it both celebrates the fall harvest and commemorates the 40-year period during which the Israelites wandered in the desert, living in temporary shelters.

• “Thanksgiving Day” in Canada, a yearly tradition since 1879. It was originally celebrated at the same time as in the USA, but was eventually moved to the 2nd MONDAY of OCTOBER to reflect the earlier harvest season.

1903 [105] Boston Pilgrims (Red Sox) beat Pittsburgh Pirates 5 games to 3 to win 1st ‘World Series’ (best of 9)

1983 [25] 1st ‘Cellular Telephone System’ introduced (John Edwards, the Brit who invented the cellphone in the 1960s, was refused a start-up loan to develop it. A bank manager told him the technology would ‘never catch on’ because people would never ‘want to carry a phone in their pocket’.)

1992 [16] Air France supersonic jetliner sets record for ‘Fastest Circumnavigation of the Globe’ (33 hours)

[Tues] Full Hunter’s Moon
[Tues] Kenny Chesney releases “Lucky Old Sun” album
[Tues] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Wed] “Project Runway” season finalé (Bravo)
[Wed] 52nd London Film Festival opens
[Wed] 13th Mobo Awards (London)

American Beer Week / Bookkeepers Week / Chestnut Week / 4-H Week / Freedom of Speech / Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week / Home-Based Business Week / International Letter Writing Week / Newspaper Week / Pasta Week / Pet Peeve Week / School Lunch Week / Teen Read Week / Veterinary Technician Week / World Rainforest Week

Many of these dishes are not seen as odd in their areas of origin, but to the rest of us there is definitely something a tad off-putting about each …
10. Caterpillar Pretzels (Mexico)
9. Bee Larvae in Coconut Cream (Thailand)
8. Red Ant Chutney (India)
7. Stuffed Pig Rectum Sausage (France)
6. Fish Sperm Crepes (France)
5. Stuffed Dormice (Ancient Rome)
4. Uterus Sausage (Ancient Rome)
3. Stir-Fried Heart (China)
2. Stuffed Goat Kid (Saudi Arabia)
1. Brain Tacos (Italy)
– “List Universe”

What do you most worry about forgetting to do when leaving your home? (In a recent “Ladies’ Home Journal” survey of women about obsessive-compulsive behavior, leaving the iron, oven, or coffee maker on were among the top answers, as well as turning the alarm clock off.)”
I’ve been working on my unauthorized autobiography …

Today’s Question: THIS will be touched by about 10,000 people in its lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A dollar bill.

You will never be younger than you are today.

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