Wednesday, October 22, 2008        Edition: #3884
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

34-year-old NY Yankee baseball stud Derek Jeter has notched another hottie GF to add to his extra-long list (Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Vanessa Milano, Jessica Alba, etc), 28-year-old TV actress Minka Kelly (“Friday Night Lights”) who’s own ex- file includes John Mayer (hope these 2 went for tests beforehand) . . . Australia’s “New Weekly” magazine is reporting that Jennifer Aniston has reunited with John Mayer because – she’s pregnant with his child! (BS journalism: If you throw enough crap on the wall, something will stick eventually) . . . Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Tobey Maguire, Dustin Hoffman, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and several other A-listers all showed up for a farm-themed birthday party for – Sacha Baron Cohen & Isla Fisher’s daughter, Olive, who has turned 1 (nice to see this kid’s having a normal upbringing) . . . Paris Hilton, who’s been in London the past 2 weeks filming her new TV show (“Paris Hilton’s My New BFF“), has reportedly told friends she’s ‘met a really cute English guy’ (Benji’s got a ‘Mad-on’) . . . Sony has recalled its much-anticipated new videogame “LittleBigPlanet” after it was discovered that one of the background music tracks contains 2 expressions that might offend Muslims because they can be found in the Qur’an (political correctness is back!) . . . UK impresario Andrew Lloyd Webber has emerged as the front-runner by bidding close to $200 million for control of the Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization, the owner of such classics as “The Sound of Music”, “Oklahoma”, “South Pacific”, plus North American rights to many of his own musicals such as “Jesus Christ Superstar” and “Evita” . . . And actress Gwyneth Paltrow is telling anyone who’ll listen that she’s helping her ‘very good friend’ Madonna through her marriage split by being ‘there for her’ and ‘speaking to her a lot’ (BS translation: See how important I am?).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jason Mraz (I”m Yours”) performs.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Young Jeezy & Nas (“My President”) are guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – 1980s rockers The Pretenders are onstage.
• MLB World Series (FOX) – Game 1 between the Phillies and the Rays goes from Tropicana Field in St Petersburg FL.
• “Stylista” (CW/CityTV) – Series debut of yet another fashion-related reality show in which contestants vie for a job at “Elle Magazine”. Hosted by Anne Slowey & Joe Zee; executive produced by model-turned-TV mogul Tyra Banks.

• Aerosmith – Guitarist Brad Whitford says he’s hopeful they’ll be ready to present new material by the time they launch their Spring 2009 concert tour.
• The Beatles – NEXT WEEK a custom-made ‘Beatles iPod’ with laser-etched logo goes on sale, as part of a $795 limited-edition box set exclusive to US retailer Bloomingdale’s. The collection also includes 14 albums on CD. Ironically, buyers will have to rip the CDs themselves in order to load up the iPod, because Fab Four tracks are still unavailable from iTunes.
• Faith Hill – The mother-of-3 will appear on the DECEMBER cover of “Shape” magazine. Quote: “Wearing a bikini on a magazine cover is my 41st birthday present to myself.” She says her ‘shape’ can be attributed to her 3-times-a-week Pilates routine.
• Lil Wayne – “Tha Carter III” is already the best-selling album of 2008 but he has plans to make it even bigger, telling MTV the set will be re-released with some added new material.
• Radiohead – Just over a year since the choose-what-you-pay digital release of “In Rainbows”, it’s been revealed the unconventional ploy was a huge success. The album has sold over 3 million copies (including downloads) and made more money prior to its JANUARY physical release than their total take on 2003’s “Hail To the Thief”.

According to a new poll, punctuality is apparently no longer a priority. Fully 48% of all respondents in the survey say it’s okay to arrive late for a party. Interestingly, the response varies by age group. 55 to 60-year-olds are more likely to arrive on time, while 18 to 24-year-olds are more apt to agree that it doesn’t matter when you show up … as long as you do eventually. The survey also finds that the average time of ‘acceptable lateness’ is … 43 minutes. (Unless you’re working the shift after us.)

A new ranking of the lamest recording artists ever …
10. Air Supply … The sound of eunuchs sobbing.
9. Lee Greenwood … Gives patriotism a bad name.
8. Vanilla Ice … The white boy to end all white boys.
7. Asia … Ridiculous album sleeves, virtuoso playing, soulless rock.
6. Kansas … Beware all bands named after states or continents!
5. Starship … They built this city on rock & roll. And crap!
4. Kenny G … This guy really blows!
3. Michael Bolton … Otis Redding died for this?
2. Emerson, Lake & Palmer … Bombastically reinterpreted classical works.
1. Insane Clown Posse … They sound even stupider than they look.
– “Blender Magazine”

The old proverb suggests ‘early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise’ but it seems the old adage may be nothing but BS. According to a new UK study by Newcastle University researchers, you’re more likely to get that ‘Eureka!’ moment late at night rather than early in the day. The study suggests the best time for most people to hatch original ideas is 10:04 pm. And the least creative time of day? The study suggests the drought gets worse and worse over the typical 9-to-5 workday, hitting rock bottom at 4:33 pm. (So you might as well leave a half-hour early.)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Acoustic Shave’ – Using a razor, not an electric razor, to shave. A play on the difference between electric and acoustic guitar. (“There’s no electricity at the hunt camp so we’ll either have to grow beards or go acoustic.”)
• ‘Adorkable’ – Delightful and charming, but in a socially awkward way. A word coined to describe actor Michael Cera (“Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist “, “Juno”). (“He’s so adorkable I can’t decide whether to hug him or slap some sense into him.”)
• ‘Eco-Driving’ – Driving in a way that minimizes fuel consumption and exhaust emissions. That means avoiding idling, unnecessary braking, and jackrabbit starts at traffic lights. Proponents claim it can save up to 25% of fuel consumption.

Archaeologists from University College London & North Carolina State have confirmed a long-suspected habit of prehistoric man: they used drugs! They’ve found ceramic bowls, as well as tubes for inhaling drug fumes or powders, which appear to have originated in South America between 100 and 400 BC and were then transported some 400 miles to Caribbean islands. While the use of such paraphernalia for inhaling drugs is well-known, the age of the bowls has thrown new light on how long humans have been taking drugs. Scientists believe that the drug being used was cohoba, a hallucinogen made from mimosa beans. (Not to confused with ‘Cohiba’, a cigar that will suck the heck out of a $100-bill.)
– “Fortean Times”

Follow-up films full of folly …
5. “Batman & Robin” (1997)
4. “Blues Brothers 2000” (1998)
3. “Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha’ Hood” (2003)
2. “Caddyshack II” (1988)
1. “Staying Alive” (1983)
(After watching “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull” on DVD this week, we’re thinking there could be a new addition to this list.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”

Scientists at Britain’s University of Hertfordshire claim to have built the world’s ‘Most Relaxing Room’. The special space features soft green lighting, low-frequency lullabies, and an artificial blue sky. Psychology professor Richard Wiseman, who created the concept, says previous work has shown that these colors, sounds, and smells all help people relax. He suggests regular 15-minute lie-downs in a similar room could help businesses wishing to lower their employees’ stress-related absenteeism. (Can’t we just paint our bedrooms green and sleep in?)
– “GQ”

• Preschoolers from ‘Eat everything on your plate!’ families tend to display less self-control when it come to diet. In experiments, they ate 35% more Froot Loops when away from home.
– “Chicago Tribune”
• The 6 official languages of the United Nations are Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian, and Spanish.
• Irish betting company Paddy Power is so sure Barack Obama will win the US presidential election that it has already paid out more than $1.6 million on Obama bets. The company says it’s simply acknowledging the inevitable.
– Associated Press

1952 [56] Jeff Goldblum, West Homestead PA, TV actor (‘Detective Zach Nichols’-“Law & Order: Criminal Intent“)/movie actor (“Independence Day”, “Jurassic Park”)

1968 [40] Shaggy (Orville Burrell), Kingston, Jamaica, reggae singer (“Angel”, “It Wasn’t Me”)

1969 [39] Spike Jonze (Adam Spiegel), Rockville MD, movie director (“Jackass”, “Being John Malkovich”)/BF of actress Michelle Williams (former fiancée of Heath Ledger)/director Sofia Coppola’s ex- (1999-2003)

1976 [32] Jon Foreman, San Bernardino CA, alt-rock/CCM guitarist (Switchfoot-“Meant to Live”, “Dare You to Move”)

• “Barber Day”, honoring those scissor-handed folks who run clip joints.

• “Holy See Day” in Vatican City, the tiny country’s national day. The smallest independent nation in the world covers an area of about 44 hectares (109 acres).

• “international caps lock day” or is it “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”? In any event, it’s an annual celebration of one of the more useful keys on your keyboard.

• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, but a legume. Definition of a nut: a hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed.

1939 [69] 1st ‘Televised Pro Football Game’ features Brooklyn Dodgers beating Philadelphia Eagles 23-14, picked up by a total of 500 TV sets (about the same as the last Detroit Lions game)

1942 [66] Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” hits #1 on record charts and stays there for 11 weeks (becomes biggest-selling single of all-time until Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997” knocks it off)

1969 [39] Due to the persistent ‘Paul is dead’ rumors, Paul McCartney declares publicly that he is alive and well

1897 [111] 1st ‘Used Car Dealership’ opens, in London UK (and the 1st tires are kicked)

1938 [70] 1st ‘Photocopy’ is made by inventor Charles Floyd Carlson of Astoria NY (next day, the 1st photocopy of an employee’s butt is made)

1995 [13] ‘Largest Gathering of World Leaders’ in history marks the 50th anniversary of the United Nations in NYC

[Thurs] BET Hip Hop Awards air (BET)
[Thurs] Canned Food Day
[Thurs] TV Talk Show Host Day
[Fri] United Nations Day
[Fri] Bologna Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Sat] International Rock-Paper-Scissors Championships (Toronto)
[Sat] World Pasta Day
This Week Is … Chemistry Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month
• Neo-Progressive Gregorian Chant
• Nebraskan Surf Rock
• Turkish Invasion
• Rhythm & Shoes
• Rap-Hop
• Stalinist Acid Rock
• Death Funk
• Glass-Eyed Soul
– Thanks to Ben Solomon

Who’s your favorite ‘platonic TV work couple’? (A new poll is topped by syndicated talk-show tandem Regis Philbin & Kelly Ripa. Runners-up: “Late Show’s” David Letterman & Paul Shaffer.)

Songs that wouldn’t have become hits if they’d been grammatically correct …
• “Lie, Lady, Lie” (“Lay Lady Lay”)
• “I Have Eyes For Only You” (“I Only Have Eyes For You”)
• “I Must Be Myself” (“I’ve Gotta Be Me”)
• “Whom Do You Love?” (“Who Do You Love?”)
• “There Isn’t Any Sunshine When She’s Gone” (“Ain’t No Sunshine”)
• “There Isn’t Any Mountain High Enough” (“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”)
• “Love Me Tenderly” (“Love Me Tender”)
– Thanks to Karen Wise.

Q: Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘S’.
A: Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Will you come quietly … or will I have to use ear-plugs?

Today’s Question: “Psychology Today” says the average adult does THIS 100 times a day … and it’s not good for your health.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Touches their face. (Germs enter through eyes, mouth, nose, etc.)

If you’re a retailer, a recession is what takes the wind out of your sales.

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