Friday, October 24, 2008        Edition: #3886
Sheet, Featuring Bull

Madonna’s soon-to-be-ex, Guy Ritchie, and 31-year-old actress Kelly Reilly (whom he recently hired for his upcoming “Sherlock Holmes” movie) have reportedly been shacked up in a hotel since OCTOBER 18th, just 3 days after Mrs Ritchie announced their divorce (now he’s picking on someone his own age!) . . . According to “US Weekly”, during the Ritchie’s heated martial spats, Guy once called Madonna ‘old, fat, ugly & wrinkled’ (c’mon now – fat?) . . . Virgin Radio Dubai morning personality Revin John has been axed after angering listeners with a comedy bit involving a phone call to ‘God’ (verboten even in liberal and secular Dubai) . . . Actress Halle Berry & her Montréal-bred baby-daddy, model Gabriel Aubry, are the new owners of a million-dollar property in Québec’s Laurentians resort area, located in the small town of St Hippolyte overlooking Molson Lake (cool – there’s a lake full of beer?) . . . 34-year-old “How I Met Your Mother” star Alyson Hannigan is expecting her 1st child with 42-year-old hubby Alexis Denisof (they met on the set of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” in 1998) . . . Buzz has it movie star George Clooney is back together with actress Krista Allen, whom he dated 2002-04 (she’s most famous for – dating George Clooney, duh!) . . . 27-year-old celebretard Paris Hilton has just paid $1.4 million to buy a former brothel in London’s East End (when on the road, a girl likes to feel at home) . . . 42-year-old “Two & a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen & his 31-year-old wife Brooke are the latest Hollywood couple to get on the bandwagon – they’re expecting twins (okay, seriously – what’s in the water in Lala Land?) . . . And an ‘insider’ says everyone on the set of “Gossip Girl“ (CW) has been mercilessly teasing 23-year-old Chace Crawford because he’s been getting numerous phone calls & provocative text messages every day from a new fan – one Lindsay Lohan (oh oh – wait till her boyfriend Samantha Ronson finds out!).

• Craig Morgan – SATURDAY the “Love Remembers” singer is inducted as the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville.
• Flaming Lips – SATURDAY they’ll participate in the “Ghouls Gone Wild” Halloween parade in Oklahoma City OK with their 2nd annual ‘March of 1,000 Flaming Skeletons’, when fans of the eccentric band dress in matching skeleton body-suits and carry lit torches through the streets.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – TONIGHT Smashing Pumpkins are guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – TONIGHT Beck (“Gamma Ray”) performs.
• “A Night For Vets: An MTV Concert For the BRAVE” (MTV/CNN Worldwide) – TONIGHT Fall Out Boy, 50 Cent, Kid Rock, Kanye West, Ludacris, and Taylor Swift  are among those performing in this cross-network special highlighting the ‘Bill of Rights for American Veterans’ (BRAVE), a petition encouraging elected officials to support veterans’ issues.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) – “Mad Men” actor Jon Hamm hosts; Coldplay performs.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – TONIGHT 1970s soul singer Al Green is onstage.

• AC/DC – “Black Ice” is projected to sell over 800,000 units in its 1st week, making it Sony Music’s biggest album debut in 2 years.
• Guns N’ Roses – It’s official: “Chinese Democracy” will be released NOVEMBER 23rd at Best Buy and via CD, vinyl, and digital download.
• Kenny Chesney – “Lucky Old Sun” has become his 5th #1 album on the ‘Billboard 200′ chart.
• Lil Wayne – He’s become father to Dwayne Carter III, according to “NME”. His son was reportedly born to an unidentified woman at the Christ Hospital in Cincinnati OH WEDNESDAY.

• “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” ( G-Rated Musical ): In their first theatrical release, America’s favorite high school students (Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, etc) hit senior year and promise to make every minute count amidst a basketball championship, prom, and a Spring musical … of course. Shot entirely in Salt Lake City UT.
• “Pride & Glory” ( R-Rated Drama ): In this gritty portrait of the NYPD, a multi-generational police family’s moral code is tested when one of two sons on the force investigates a case involving his older brother and a brother-in-law. Stars Edward Norton, Colin Farrell, and Jon Voight. Filmed in NYC.
• “Saw V” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): In the 5th installment of the fright-flick franchise, ‘Hoffman’ (Costas Mandylor) is seemingly the last person alive to carry on the ‘Jigsaw’ legacy. But when his secret is threatened, he must go on the hunt to eliminate all loose ends. Stars Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, and Betsy Russell. Shot in Toronto.

Just as “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” opens in theaters, here’s a new ranking of the best-ever previous films of the genre …
5. “Cry-Baby” (1990)
4. “Fame” (1980)
3. “Footloose” (1984)
2. “West Side Story” (1961)
1. “Grease” (1978)

• They’re marching to a different drummer! The Ohio State School For the Blind has announced that its marching band is among 21 chosen to participate in the 2010 “Rose Parade” in Pasadena CA. The 17-member group will become the first blind band to perform in the annual New Year’s Day event. “Rose Parade” music chair Stacy Houser says it ought to be an inspiration because ‘a blind marching band is such an incredibly unique thing.’ (You got that right sister.)
– “Columbus Dispatch“
• The Dutch deliver digital! City officials in Groningen, Holland have announced plans to help low-income residents purchase … flat-screen TVs. Actually, there’s already a $220-grant available to replace worn-out TVs; the new resolution increases the amount to $585 so ‘families can afford better-quality sets’. Low-income residents are eligible to apply for a TV grant once every 8 years. (What about a DVR? Are we supposed to spring for that ourselves? Sheesh!)
– Radio Netherlands

• Banks hire ‘mystery customers’ who secretly test whether a teller is cross-selling services.
• Postdating a cheque often doesn’t work. With stacks of deposits to process, account names, not dates are what’s most scrutinized. Then if the cheque bounces, you’re liable.
• You should keep receipts for every ATM transaction. And please don’t feed cash directly into the machine without first putting it into an envelope (yes, people actually do this).
• Banks often waive monthly fees if you keep a higher balance in your chequing account. That way, it’s not in a savings account earning interest … and costing the bank.
• A bank has the right to pay itself back out of your next deposit for any fees or overdrafts you owe.
• You should call or visit in person to resolve a banking problem. Filling out online forms will usually get you a ‘by-the-book’ reply.
– “Reader’s Digest”

• A Swiss doctor claims to have invented a camera that can identify aliens posing as humans.
• The odds are 1-in-3 that a can of fish will be eaten by a cat, not a human.
– “Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader”

1936 [72] Bill Wyman (Perks), Lewishman UK, retired rock bassist who left the Rolling Stones in 1992 and is now a restaurant owner/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1947 [61] Kevin Kline, St Louis MO, movie actor (“Definitely, Maybe”, Academy Award-“A Fish Called Wanda”)

1979 [29] Ben Gillies, Newcastle, Australia, rock drummer (Silverchair-“Straight Lines”, “Tomorrow”)

1980 [28] Monica (Arnold), College Park GA, pop singer (“So Gone”, “Angel of Mine”)

1981 [27] Tila Tequila (Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen), Singapore, TV personality (“Shot at Love With Tila Tequila 2007-08, “Pants-Off Dance-Off” 2006)

1983 [25] Adrienne Bailon, NYC, TV actress/singer (‘Chanel Simmons’ in the Disney Channel’s “The Cheetah Girls”)

1989 [19] Shenae Grimes, Toronto ON, TV actress (‘Annie Wilson’ on ”90210”, ‘Darcy Edwards’ on “Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2004-08)

Country singer Mark Miller (Sawyer Brown) is 50; Rock drummer Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers) is 46; Pop singer/guitarist Ed Robertson (Barenaked Ladies) is 38; TV actor Craig Robertson (“The Office”) is 37; Rock vocalist Austin Winkler (Hinder) is 27; Pop singer Katy Perry (“I Kissed a Girl”) is 24; Pop singer Ciara (“1, 2 Step”) is 23.

TV game show host Pat Sajak (“Wheel of Fortune”) is 62; Politician Hillary Rodham Clinton is 61; TV actor James Pickens Jr (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 54; Country singer Keith Urban (“You Look Good in My Shirt”) is 41; Movie actor Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) is 31.

• “Bologna Day”, a good day to fry up a slice to add to your peanut butter sandwich. Yummers!
• “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” – spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy movie actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” THIS WEEKEND. It’s the site of the actual Frankenstein Castle that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel.
• “United Nations Day”, honoring the 63rd anniversary of the day in 1945 that the majority of the world’s countries adopted the charter that formed the UN. The theme for the 2008 celebration is “Ensuring Environmental Sustainability”.

• “Cartoonists Against Crime Day”. Stop or I’ll … draw!
• “International Greasy Foods Day”, a celebration of our love of fatty foods, foods cooked in oil, foods smothered in butter, etc.
• “International Rock-Paper-Scissors Championships” in Toronto, the annual championship certified by the ‘World Rock Paper Scissors Society’ (yes, there is such a thing). This is where the old schoolyard decision game gets serious – first prize is $10,000!
• “Make a Difference Day”, a celebration of people helping people and neighbors helping neighbors in which everyone can participate. It’s the 18th annual sponsored by “USA Today”.
• “Punk For a Day Day”, so get on your faux-hawk, your stick-on tats, your imitation leather and strut your stuff!
• “World Pasta Day”, honoring one of Italy’s greatest gifts to the world. However, THIS YEAR’s ‘International Pasta Organization Annual General Assembly’ is being held in … Istanbul, Turkey. (See BULL’S BITS.)

• “International Red Cross Day”, in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland.
• “Mother-In-Law Day“, the 6th annual salute to the old battle ax that’s celebrated on the 4th SUNDAY in OCTOBER.

1908 [100] Singing sensation Billy Murray hits the charts with “Take Me Out To the Ball Game”, the 2nd, and most popular, of 3 versions to be released within a 5-week period

1857 [151] World’s 1st ‘Football Club’ (soccer) founded (Sheffield Football Club, England)

1901 [107] 1st person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel – and live – as 43-year-old Annie Edson Taylor of Bay City MI expects fame & fortune … but later dies in poverty

1939 [69] 1st ‘Nylon Stockings’ go on sale, developed by DuPont (ok, but who’s to blame for knee-highs?)

1992 [16] 1st non-US team to win baseball’s World Series (Toronto Blue Jays defeat Atlanta Braves 4-3 in Game 6)

1921 [87] Lunenburg NS fishing schooner ‘Bluenose’ defeats US vessel ‘Elsie’ to win “International Schooner Championship” (the reason she’s on the Canadian dime)

[Mon] School Library Day
[Mon] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Tues] Pink’s “Funhouse”; Rascal Flatts’ “Greatest Hits Vol 1“; “Reba McEntire’s 50 Greatest Hits”; Snow Patrol’s “A Hundred Million Suns” are released
[Tues] Diwali (Hindu)
[Tues] Chocolate Day
[Tues] Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Wed] “Quantum of Solace“ world premiere (London UK)
This Week Is … Prescription Errors Education & Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pajama Month

• Whyzit called ‘midair’? Is there ‘top air’ and ‘bottom air’?
• Whyzit we think the traffic light will change if we talk to it?
• Whyzit the weaker our arguments are, the stronger the words we have to use?
• Whyzit a tire gauge lets out half the air when you’re trying to get a reading?
• Whyzit serving coffee on an aircraft seems to cause turbulence?

What’s your most creative advice for a simple, homemade Halloween costume?

In celebration of “World Pasta Day”, have a contestant decide whether each of the following is the name of a vehicle model or a type of pasta as you run down the list rapid-fire …
– Ravioli [pasta]
– Quattroporte [Maserati]
– Rotini [pasta]
– Forenza [Suzuki]
– Sonoma [GMC]
– Tempeste [pasta]
– Murano [Nissan]
– Fusilli [pasta]
– Magentis [Kia]
– Montero [Mitsubishi]

• “How to Banish Doggy Breath Forever” [Woman’s Day]
• “Halloween Pet Costumes” [Redbook]
• “His Health Got Better, But Our Marriage Got Worse!” [Ladies’ Home Journal]
• “Four Cute Hairstyles You Can Wear on Your Next Date!“ [Glamour]
• “How to Tell If a Guy Is Cheating” [Cosmopolitan]

• “Interviews With Dead Celebrities” [Stuff]
• “What’s ‘Wife Material’”? []
• “No More Gut!” [Men’s Fitness]
• “Seth Rogen, Hollywood Sex God” [Maxim]
• “11 Ways to Calm Down an Angry Woman” [Men’s Health]

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity.

Today’s Question: Some say you only do THIS once in your lifetime, but the average guy will actually do it 6 times.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Fall in love.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

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