Wednesday, October 17, 2018 – Edition: #6315
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ After some nagging from her daughters, Demi Moore is finally on Instagram! And the 55-year-old made her debut in a pretty epic way. Moore’s first post on the social media site — she’s using the name @moore2d — came a few hours after she attended Princess Eugenie’s royal wedding on Friday. (For those wondering, Demi is friends with the bride’s mother, Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York — who’s perhaps better known as the original “Fergie”.) In her first post, she gushes about her Stella McCartney dress and accessories, and gives a shout-out to her three daughters, Scout, Rumer and Tallulah.
-MSN
★ “Transparent” will end its fifth and final season with a musical episode. Series creator Jill Soloway has announced that the Amazon series will conclude with a two-hour musical installment to be shot later this year and airing next fall. Transparent made headlines earlier this year after allegations of inappropriate behavior and sexual harassment were brought against series lead Jeffrey Tambor.
-Yahoo
★ Is Pete Davidson couch-surfing? After the shocking news that he and Ariana Grande had ended their engagement, fans started a GoFundMe page for Davidson because he supposedly needed “somewhere to sleep.” The couple lived together in a $16-million apartment in New York City. As well-meaning as the gesture was, the donation page was removed by GoFundMe less than 24 hours after it was launched.
-MSN
★ Mischa Barton isn’t the only new cast member joining MTV’s “The Hills” reboot. Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s 22-year-old son Brandon Thomas Lee, a sometime model, is in the process of finalizing his contract to also join “The Hills: New Beginnings.” The show is expected to premiere in 2019.
-MSN
★ Zoinks! Get set for live-action “Tom and Jerry” and “Scooby Doo” movies. Warner will join the forces of their animated department and hybrid pictures to shoot everyone’s favourite cat and mouse duo, and sources say that the plan is to stick to the cartoon’s successful slapstick style and to keep the characters mute. “Tom and Jerry” will start shooting in 2019 and the untitled “Scooby-Doo” project is due to arrive in theatres in the first quarter of 2020.
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Cardi B, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, J. Balvin featuring Zion & Lennox
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Reese Witherspoon, Lenny Kravitz (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Peter Dinklage, Busy Philipps, Noname
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Molly Shannon, Constance Wu, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, Daxx Nielsen (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jamie Lee Curtis, Felix Mallard, Colin Macleod
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kameron Westcott, Carson Kressley
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Fishman, Lecy Goranson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shemar Moore, Jessica Radloff, guest co-hosts Carrie Ann Inaba & Paulina Rubio
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): John Goodman, Amandla Stenberg
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Maya Rudolph, Bazzi
• “Survivor” (CBS): Castaways from the “David” and “Goliath” tribes must learn to work together after a surprising tribe swap.
• “CMT Artists of the Year” (CMT): Dedicated to the women of country music. Featuring Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Kelsea Ballerini and many more.
• “Neanderthal” (PBS): Series premiere. Follow Andy Serkis, the master of performance capture; Ella Al-Shamahi, a rising star in Neanderthal research; and a group of experts who create, for the first time ever, a scientifically accurate 3D Neanderthal.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Chainsmokers – are among the first bunch of performers announced for the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball at Scotiabank Arena in Toronto Dec. 2. Also on the bill: Khalid, Dua Lipa, Alessia Cara, bülow, Loud Luxury, Lauv, Max, Elijah Woods x Jamie Fine, Delaney Jane, and Tyler Shaw. Tickets go on sale Friday.
• Kanye West – He and Kim Kardashian West gifted the President of Uganda a pair of Yeezys. They met with President Yoweri K. Museveni on Monday to discuss ”tourism and the arts” and before they ended their brief meeting, they signed a pair of white sneakers for the leader.
• Prince – His estate has been hit with a claim by a company which claims it was hired to appraise his famous “Paisley Park” recording studio after his death, but was never paid. The company is demanding the estate pay $45,000 plus interest.
• The Who — Frontman Roger Daltrey says he had three children he knew nothing about after he turned 50. The 74-year-old received a photo of a woman who bore a striking resemblance to him in the mail, who turned out to be his love child. Soon after, two more people contacted him claiming he was their biological dad. He has since forged a good relationship with all three.
• Coldplay – will celebrate their 20th anniversary with the release of a documentary that the band has been secretly working on for the past two decades. “A Head Full of Dreams” will hit theatres on November 14.
• Geddy Lee – His “Big Beautiful Book of Bass” arrives on Dec. 4, and the Rush frontman has revealed the cover art, as well as details about what’s included in the various editions. The 408-page book will be available in Ultra Limited, Luxe Limited and Standard editions, ranging in price from $75 to $950.
• Florida Georgia Line – have scored their 16th #1 with ‘Simple’, the lead single from their upcoming fourth album. Tyler Hubbard calls it “Just a little reminder to simplify things every now and then and have a good time while you do it.”
• Martina McBride – Not only is she releasing a Christmas album and heading out on a holiday tour, late this month she also will release her second cookbook, “Martina’s Kitchen Mix: My Recipe Playlist for Real Life”. She says it’s “a collection of recipes that I actually make for my family, and that I think are delicious.”
CHRISTMAS FOR THE 4/20 CROWD:
With today’s legalization of recreational marijuana in Canada, police and provincial governments have been hard at work preparing for the “reefer madness” that might accompany it. The president of the Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police says that police departments across the country are “ready”, and that enforcing new laws around legal weed will be “a work in progress.” Legislation to legalize recreational cannabis was passed by the House of Commons in November of 2017. The new laws allow adults 18 and over to possess up to 30 grams of legal marijuana and to grow up to four plants for personal use. Growers and suppliers are required to be federally licensed. Retailers have to abide by provincial and municipal laws, which could vary widely across the country. But sellers have also been ramping up for today. While there may be as few as 100 physical locations across the country ready to sell cannabis today, there are numerous online portals which are bracing for a surge of orders. And some provinces are getting in on the action as well. One government pot shop is called the “Ontario Cannabis Store”. You can learn all about the drug at their “educational” site here:
NET: www.ocslearn.ca
…And buy it here:
NET: www.ocs.ca (Maybe don’t go there while you’re at work!)
(My neighbor is prepared too. He got high for his driver’s licence photo…so when he gets pulled over, the cop will think he always looks like that!)
-OCA, ChronicleHerald, CBC
AT LEAST WE HAVE NARCISSISM IN COMMON:
The saying is that if you live with someone long enough, you start to look like them. But is there any truth to that? Science says “Yes”. Sort of. They theory isn’t so much that we start to look like our mate…it is that we search out mates who look similar to ourselves. A 2013 study suggested that a lot of us are actually attracted to our own faces and therefore, attracted to people who look like us. Madeleine A. Fugère, a professor of social psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University and the author of “The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships”, says that evolutionarily speaking, genes that are somewhat similar to our own (but still ‘different enough’ from our own) may be optimal for reproductive success. Plus, it is also possible that we feel more trust for people who seem more familiar to us.
(I wouldn’t be caught dead with anybody who looks like me!)
(I don’t know if my wife looked like me at first, but after 20 years living with me, she started to look just as miserable!)
(I don’t know if she looked LIKE me, but my ex did start to look AROUND…)
-HuffingtonPost
LATE LUNCH – OR EARLY DINNER?
A diet guru says that the solution to managing your weight effectively is as simple as eating your last meal of the day at 2pm. Dr. Jason Fung, founder of the Intensive Dietary Management Program, says that one of the big differences between society before the obesity crisis and now is that back in, say, the 1970s, people generally only actually ate food in about a 10-hour window each day (breakfast at 8AM, dinner at 6pm). And the shorter your “window of eating”, the more likely that you are able to effectively manage your weight. He points out that surprisingly, fasting after 2pm actually produces more feelings of fullness in the evening, once the body gets used to its new schedule after about four weeks. Most test subjects found the fasting period relatively easy to adhere to, but found it difficult to schedule dinner for 2pm…especially those with a family.
(2PM? That’s even before the senior’s special!)
(My family would have no problem at all with me eating my last meal at 2 o’clock…)
(What do you call a meal at 2pm? Dunch? Lupper?)
-QZ
REALLY BAD ANALOGIES WRITTEN BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS:
(You’ve heard them before but they never get old…)
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
2. He was as tall as a 6’3″ tree.
3. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal, quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00pm instead of 7:30.
4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
5. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
6. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
10. Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart.
(That was more fun than a frog in a glass of milk!)
-MartyDuren
BS CHRONOMETER 10.17.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [71] Michael McKean, New York City NY, TV actor (“Better Call Saul” 2015-18, “Laverne & Shirley” 1976-1983)/ movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)
1958 [60] Alan Jackson, Newnan GA, country singer (‘Don’t Rock the Jukebox’, ‘Chattahoochee’, w/Zac Brown Band-‘As She’s Walking Away’)
1960 [58] Rob Marshall, Madison WI, movie director (“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”, 2002 Oscar-“Chicago”)/stage director-choreographer (“Cabaret”, “Damn Yankees”)
1968 [50] Ziggy Marley (David Marley), Trenchtown Jamaica, reggae singer (‘Tomorrow People’, ‘Love is My Religion’)/Son of Bob Marley
1969 [49] Wyclef Jean, Croix-des-Bouquets, Haiti, R&B/rap artist (w/Shakira-‘Hips Don’t Lie’, The Fugees-‘Killing Me Softly’)
1969 [49] Rick Mercer, St John’s NL, TV comic (“The Rick Mercer Report” 2004-18, “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” 1993-2001)/Governor General’s Performing Arts Award (2004)
1971 [47] Chris Kirkpatrick, Clarion PA, pop singer (*NSYNC-‘Bye Bye Bye’, ‘Pop’)
1972 [46] Eminem (Marshall Mathers III), St Joseph MO (raised Detroit MI), rapper (‘The Real Slim Shady’, ‘Lose Yourself’)/sometime movie actor (“8 Mile”)
1983 [35] Felicity Jones, Bournville UK, movie actress (“Theory of Everything”, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”) COMING UP…”The Aeronauts” 2019
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Legalization Day” in Canada. With recreational cannabis becoming legal, Canada becomes the second country in the world (after Uruguay) to do so. It is permissible to possess up to 30 grams of legal marijuana and to grow up to four plants for personal use. (Limits on possession of ‘Doritos’ remain the same…)
• “Pasta Day”, celebrating the Italian staple that’s popular worldwide. There are over 350 varieties of pasta in Italy. A typical Italian eats over 60 lbs. of the stuff per year.
• “Wear Something Gaudy Day”. (Well, nice to see [co-host] is dressed for the occasion!)
• “International Day for the Eradication of Poverty”, a UN observance since 1993. (How’s it workin’ so far?)
• “Mulligan Day”, a day to give yourself or someone else a do-over – a 2nd chance at something botched – like bad golfers give themselves. (***See today’s Phone Starter, below***)
• “Fossil Day”, an annual celebration held to highlight the scientific and educational value of paleontology and the importance of preserving fossils for future generations (Keep your ‘Rolling Stones’ jokes to yourself…)
• “Take Your Parents to Lunch Day”, a real, national holiday which is becoming more and more widely celebrated by kids and schools (Why do I have the feeling that this was the parents’ idea?)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Conflict Resolution Day
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customers Day
[Fri] Dress Like a Dork Day
[Fri] Rainforest Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [06] Amidst controversy over his anti-doping scandal, former cycling champ Lance Armstrong resigns as chairman of LiveStrong, his anti-cancer charity
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2017 [01] Gord Downie, singer of The Tragically Hip, dies at 53 after a battle with brain cancer.
2008 [10] Madonna & Guy Ritchie announce their 7-year marriage is over because they’ve drifted apart
2009 [09] Actor Johnny Depp presents the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards with the ‘Rock Immortal Award’ as part of the “Scream Awards”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [07] In New Mexico, Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson opens the world’s first commercial space port, “Spaceport America”
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [15] The pinnacle is fitted on the roof of Taipei 101, a 101-floor skyscraper in Taipei, Taiwan, allowing it to surpass the Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur by 56 m (184 ft) and become (briefly) the world’s tallest building (Burj Khalifa in Dubai has been tallest building in the world since 2008 at 828 m/2,717 ft)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The word “dude” was first used in the 1800s as an insult towards young men who were too concerned with keeping up with the latest fashions.
✓ Your body craves sugary, salty and fatty foods when you’re under a lot of stress.
✓ The right ear is better at hearing speech and the left ear is better at hearing music.
✓ The average person spends a total of two years talking on the phone during their lifetime.
✓ Humans gave the brain its name. Therefore, theoretically, the human brain named itself.
✓ So did the Ouija Board.
-NotCommonFacts
BS MILLENNIAL COUNTRY SONGS:
• Twerking 9 to 5
• Jesus Take the Uber
• To All the Tweets I’ve Liked Before
• All My Exes Send Me Texts
• I Fall to Pieces…When I Misplace my iPhone
• Craft Beer for My Horses
• Free Range Organic Chicken Fried
• She Thinks My Tractor’s Eco-Friendly and Sexy
• Save a Horse, Drive a Prius
• Before He Tweets
• Achy Breaky Heart Emoji
• I’ve Got Friends in Parent’s Basements
• A They Named Sue
-Twitter
Best of BS:
BS REJECTED COOKBOOK TITLES:
• Ruin It With Raisins
• My Bun In Your Oven
• Cooking Four Humans (F.O.U.R.)
• 50 Shades Of Gravy
• Griddle Women
• So You Burnt it a Little…it’s still edible
• Cheeses of Nazareth – How make a Quiche for up to 5000 People
• Baking Bad
• Dude, Where’s My Carbs?
• No Matter How Hard You Try, It’ll Never Look Like The Picture
-Twitter (First published in BS in 2017
BS PHONE STARTER:
Today is ‘Mulligan Day’. What embarrassing or regretful thing have you done that you would like to take a ‘mulligan’ on?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Almost 20% of people admit they have stolen THIS from a restaurant. What?
Answer: Toilet Paper
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.
