Thursday, October 1, 2009        Edition: #4112
You Really Know Your Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The new metal music videogame “Brutal Legend” offers a comedic homage to the world of heavy metal with Jack Black playing roadie ‘Eddie Riggs’ and appearances by Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford, Motorhead’s Lemmy, and Ozzy Osbourne (it’s “Guitar Hero” for headbangers) . . . Snoops have discovered “The Hills” female stars Audrina Patridge, Lauren Bosworth, and Heidi Montag are all hauling down $100,000 per episode, a far more sizable salary than the guys on the show, Spencer Pratt ($65,000) and Brody Jenner ($45,000) . . . According to new stats from Comscore, 120.5 million viewers watched nearly 10 billion videos on YouTube in August (the reason video has virtually disappeared from TV) . . . Lawyers for 76-year-old film director Roman Polanski have asked the Swiss Federal Criminal Court to free him while he battles extradition to the US to face 1978 charges for underage relations, but they’ve been informed a decision may take weeks or even months and he’s expected to remain behind bars in the meantime (his now-45-year-old victim is likely smilin’) . . .  And TLC network has announced that “Jon & Kate Plus 8” will soon be titled simply “Kate Plus Eight” (because “Jon & Kate Plus 8 Minus 1, Carry the 2” seemed just a tad complicated).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Joss Stone (“Colour Me Free”, coming October 20th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Arctic Monkeys (“Favourite Worst Nightmare”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Miranda Lambert sings “White Liar”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tom Russell (“Blood & Candle Smoke”).
• “Star Wars: In Concert” – This multi-media event that features music from all 6 soundtracks and teams them with footage from the movies begins a 40-city North American tour in Anaheim CA. Plans are to take it global in 2010.
• “Vancouver International Film Festival” – Tonight the 28th annual festival kicks off and reels through October 16th. Some 377 international films will screen at this year’s event.
NET: http://www.viff.org/home.html

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They’re performing an entire album each night during their current 5-concert stand at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford NJ. Last night it was “Born To Run”; tomorrow it’s “Darkness On the Edge of Town”; and Saturday “Born In the USA”.
• Janet Jackson – She’s reportedly vowed to wear black for a year to mourn the death of her brother Michael.
• John Lennon – This week a Lawrence MA company that claims rare 1970 film footage of him smoking marijuana was stolen and sold to Yoko Ono without its permission is asking a federal judge to award it $6.3 million in damages. Even the company’s lawyer admits it’s unlikely the money is ‘collectible’.
• Ozzy Osbourne – His autobiography “I Am Ozzy” is out today in the UK (January 25th in North America), promising a ‘very funny and a very full story’.
• U2 – Their “360” world tour is so costly to mount, it’s yet to make a profit. Constructing the giant portable stage, plus paying the huge crew that’s needed costs a staggering $750,000 per day. Despite being on the road with sold-out shows for 3 months, the group won’t actually start making money until the North American leg finishes later this month.
• Wilco – Tonight they begin a North American tour in Iowa City IA.
• Wyclef Jean – He’s announced that he’s enrolled at Berklee College in Boston to get a bachelor’s degree in music.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Barbie Movie” – Universal Pictures is betting a live-action movie based on the popular blond doll will be a big hit because the 50-year-old Mattel toy is so well known throughout the world. A studio honcho says ‘Barbie’ has always been an ‘aspirational’ figure, so the movie must do her proud. So far, there’s no script or cast, or even a storyline.
• “The Ice Man” – Mickey Rourke has signed on to star in this true story about mob hitman Richard Kuklinski, based on Phil Carlo’s 2006 biography “The Ice Man: Confessions Of a Mafia Contract Killer”. Kuklinski claimed to have murdered 50 vagrants before he turned 18, then another 150 people as a hired hitman for several Mafia families. He was finally arrested in 1986 and died in prison 20 years later. Production begins next spring in NY, NJ, and Florida.
• “LA Candy” – Lauren Conrad, ex-star of reality TV series “The Hills” and “Laguna Beach”, has sold screen rights to her debut novel. Published in June, the book has been on the “New York Times” bestseller list for 14 weeks. It tells the story of a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality TV star, then has to deal with living a fishbowl life.
• “Little Fockers” – Jessica Alba is in talks to join this 3rd installment of the “Meet the Parents” franchise. She’d play a pharmaceutical rep whose looks wreak havoc on all the movie’s males. The picture is expected to pick up where 2004′s “Meet the Fockers” left off, with Ben Stiller & Teri Polo’s characters having a child … or children (rumor has it that it may be twins). Production is set to begin in the next few months, with a 2010 release in mind.

THE SECRET TO LONG LIFE?

Walter Breuning of Great Falls, Montana just celebrated his 113th birthday, becoming the ‘World’s Oldest Man’. Here’s why he says he’s had such a long, healthy life – he skips supper. Yup, he enjoys 2 big, healthy meals – breakfast and lunch – and that’s it. While his ‘don’t do dinner’ advice is a little controversial he does have one healthy hint many fitness experts agree with: You should push back from the table while you’re still a little hungry. (But mommy always said to clean my plate!)
– “Glamour Magazine”

SKINNY FRIENDS MAY MAKE YOU FAT:

That friend who stays thin despite eating anything & everything is not just annoying, he or she might also wreck your diet. University of British Columbia researchers found that when they had college students watch a movie and snack with either a skinny or overweight companion, the students typically followed the thin friend’s lead when she or he overindulged. In contrast, study participants used more self-control when snacking with a heavier companion who overate. (Likely because it was a real gross-out!)
– Reuters

BS THINGS TODAY’S GENERATION WILL TELL THEIR GRANDCHILDREN:
• “Our bodies were made of meat and supported by little sticks of calcium.”
• “There used to be so much snow up here, you could strap a board to your feet and slide all the way down.”
• “Televised contests gave cash prizes to whoever could store the most data in their head.”
• “Back in my day, we only needed 140 characters.”
– Excerpted from “Wired Magazine”.

LITERARY LUMINARIES:

“One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez tops a new listing of ‘Books That Most Shaped World Literature Over the Past 25 Years‘ in a new poll by an international literary magazine. The top tomes of the last quarter-century were picked by a panel of international authors. Salman Rushdie (“Midnight’s Children”, “The Satanic Verses”) and Michael Ondaatje (“Anil’s Ghost”, “The English Patient”) each appear on the list twice.
NET: http://www.wasafiri.org
– “Wasafiri Magazine”

THINGS A REAL MAN SHOULD NEVER FEAR:
• Having Her Drive: It establishes your commitment to a relationship based on gender equality. Plus, you get to pick the music.
• Makeover TV Shows: They’re formulaic and fake, yes, but you’re getting free tips from professionals who would otherwise charge thousands.
• Small Dogs: Okay, they’re neurotic face lickers with breathing problems. They’re also the next-cutest thing to human babies, and merely having one in your proximity makes you look like a caring person. If you can take care of a pug, you can take care of anything.
• Snuggling: If done properly and consistently, it leads to the ‘Promised Land’. Or possibly to more snuggling, but this is a calculated risk.
• Yoga: You may feel as if you’re trapped in an endless self-empowerment workshop. But you’ll also probably be the only man in a hot, enclosed space full of beautiful women in clingy clothing.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health” magazine.

SHUT UP AND DRIVE:

Today Ontario joins Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and Québec as the Canadian provinces banning the use of cellphones and other handheld devices while driving. Drivers in Ontario will face fines up to $500 after a 30-day grace period when only warnings will be issued. One of the toughest no-talking-while-driving laws is in the Netherlands, where the penalty can include a fine up to 2,000 euros (about $3,000) & 2 weeks in jail. Other countries and US states with bans …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/noafpc
– CityTV.com

VIRTUAL PACK-RAT:

Microsoft is working on what’s called the ‘SenseCam’, which will hang around a person’s neck to automatically capture every detail of life in photo form. It’s predicted that, by about 2020, our entire life histories will be online and searchable. Microsoft researcher Gordon Bell has made that idea into a personal project by carrying around recorders to capture his conversations, trips, and experiences. He also saves everything – from bills to correspondence to medical records. He claims this mountain of data serves as a replica of his biological memory. It now exceeds 350 gigabytes. (You thought sorting out late relatives’ personal effects was a big chore now?)
– CNN.com

GREATEST MOVIE HEROINES:

The top heroic female characters in film history, according to a new poll …
5. ‘Sarah Connor’ (Linda Hamilton) – “The Terminator” (1984).
4. ‘Ellen Ripley’ (Sigourney Weaver) – “Alien” (1979).
3. ‘Lara Croft’ (Angelina Jolie) – “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider” (2001).
2. ‘Clarice Starling’ (Jodie Foster) – “The Silence Of the Lambs” (1991).
1. ‘Erin Brockovich’ (Julia Roberts) – “Erin Brockovich” (2000).
– ContactMusic.com

DID YOU KNOW?

• The Wisconsin Tourist Federation has been renamed the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin after some eagle-eyed minion pointed out that their acronym was … ‘WTF’.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• By the end of this year, Earth is projected to reach a new milestone. Fully half of the fish and shellfish we consume will be raised by humans, rather than caught in the wild.
– “Washington Post”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.01.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1924 [85] Jimmy Carter, Plains GA, 39th US President (1977-81)/Nobel Peace Prize (2002)

1928 [81] Jimmy Pattison, Saskatoon SK, Canadian billionaire (Chairman, President, CEO & sole owner of Jim Pattison Group, Canada’s 3rd-largest privately held company with 28 radio stations, 3 TV stations, plus Pattison Outdoor Advertising, Ripley Entertainment, Guinness World Records, Great Wolf Lodge, car dealerships, etc)/Order of Canada (1987)

1935 [74] [Dame] Julie Andrews (Wells), Walton-on-Thames UK, movie actress (“The Princess Diaries”, “The Sound of Music”)/Broadway actress (“Victor/Victoria”, “My Fair Lady”)

1950 [59] Randy Quaid, Houston TX, movie actor (“Brokeback Mountain”, “Independence Day”)/apparent ‘sleep & bolt’ artist alongside wife Evi/actor Dennis Quaid’s brother

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “China’s 60th Anniversary Celebration”, commemorating the October 1, 1949 proclamation of the ‘People’s Republic of China’ by Communist leader Mao Zedong. All year, officials have been urging government agencies to drum up programs to mark the anniversary. Beijing’s Tiananmen Square will be the focal point of festivities, including massive fireworks displays.

• “Homemade Cookie Day”. Nummers! What’s the absolute best kind? Chocolate chip? Oatmeal & raisin? Peanut butter? Shortbread? Dirt balls? Mmm, can’t you just smell ‘em coming out of the oven all hot and soft and gooey?

• “International Day of Older Persons”, an annual observance begun by the UN. The Governor General’s office sends out over 1,000 birthday greetings annually to Canadians celebrating birthdays of 100 or more years.
NET: http://www.un.org/Depts/dhl/olderpersons

• “October”, which actually means ‘8th month’ but has been the 10th month ever since New Year’s Day was moved from March to January. At other times in history October has been called Germanicus, Herculeus, and Faustinus. So, happy First of Faustinus!

• “World Vegetarian Day”, the 32nd annual designed to create awareness of the ethical, environmental, health, and humanitarian benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle. Enjoy your bark and leaves, veggie folks! (When’s ‘World Carnivore Day’ anyway?)
NET: http://www.worldvegetarianday.org

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1961 [48] CTV television network signs on (back when Lloyd Robertson was only 72)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1962 [47] Brian Epstein signs a contract to manage The Beatles through 1977 (neither he nor the group lasts that long)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1971 [38] ‘Walt Disney World’ opens in Orlando FL

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Fallen Firefighters Weekend
[Fri] Custodial Workers Day
[Fri] Techies Day
[Fri] World Farm Animals Day
This Week Is … No Salt Week
This Month Is … Workplace Politics Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T BLURT OUT TO YOUR NEW LOVER AT THAT ‘SPECIAL MOMENT’:
• “Please don’t let them send me back to prison!”
• “Only 3 more until my thetan [‘THAY-tan’] becomes Clear!” (Scientology)
• “You’re not my real mom!”
• “We are going to be the most amazing parents!”
• “You will live to regret this!”
• “Can you move a little to the left? You’re ruining my shot!”
– Thanks to Adam Skalman.

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:

• Can a guy named ‘Nick’ have a nickname?
• If sleep regenerates us, why do we look so bad when we first get up in the morning?
• Where did hamsters live before we put them in cages as pets?
• How come there are flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
• Was the person who invented the ‘Express Lane’ at the supermarket properly thanked?

BS PHONE STARTER:
When you’re alone, what’s the song you like to sing or hum? ‘Fess up!

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I started out with nothing … and I still have most of it.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Over 100 million people in more than 90 countries participate in THIS in one form or another.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bowling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

You have not failed. You have just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.


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