Friday, October 9, 2009        Edition: #4118
Sheet Happens!

Michael Jackson’s personal physician Dr Conrad Murray failed to attend a court hearing this week concerning child support due his baby mama, so prosecutors are now seeking both a bench warrant for his arrest and a suspension of his medical licence (your in the deep doo-doo, dude) . . . Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank took to the skies to study for her pilot’s license as prep for her role as famed aviatrix Amelia Earhart in the upcoming film “Amelia”, opening October 23rd (if she was really serious about the role, she would have disappeared) . . . Former ‘Hollywood Madam’ Heidi Fleiss had a close call when the SUV she was riding in went out of control and rolled several times, both driver & passenger fortunate to escape with only minor cuts and bruises (the accident site has been filmed for a segment of “Celebrity Rehab”, in which Fleiss will be appearing) . . . After years of singlehood, punctuated by romances with Jennifer Aniston & Joey Lauren Adams, movie star Vince Vaughn (“Couples Retreat”) says he’s ‘psyched’ about getting married to Calgary real estate agent Kyla Webber (he proposed on Valentine’s Day but no date has been announced as yet) . . . TV therapist Dr Phil McGraw (“Dr Phil”) has been hit with a lawsuit from a woman alleging he groped her during a 2007 therapy session, held her captive in his office, tried to brainwash her, and  forced her to be in the same room with a naked man (some outlandish charges, but not the first directed his way) . . . Friends of movie actress Kate Hudson say that she & NY Yankees baseball star Alex ‘A-Rod’ Rodriguez will likely soon announce their engagement as they’re already sharing houses, children from previous marriages, and balancing their work & home lives (Kate may be his #1 lady right now, but he’s been caught stealing a second before).

• “BET Hip-Hop Awards” (Atlanta) – Saturday Mike Epps hosts the taping of the annual honors that include categories like ‘People’s Champ’, ‘Hustler Of the Year’, and ‘Made-You-Look’. Kanye West leads nominations with 9 (think he’ll show up?), followed by Jay-Z and Lil Wayne with 7 apiece. The bleeped-out version airs October 27th (BET).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Phoenix (“Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Brett Dennen & Natalie Merchant.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Drew Barrymore (“Whip It”) hosts; Regina Spektor is musical guest.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Lady Antebellum (“Lady Antebellum”).

• AC/DC – They’ve been nominated for “ARIA Awards” (Australian Recording Industry Association Music Awards) for ‘Highest Selling Australian Album’, ‘Best Rock Album’, ‘Best Group’, and ‘Album Of the Year’. The hardware is handed out November 26th.
• Backstreet Boys – Brian Littrell has been released from quarantine in a NYC hotel and allowed to fly home to LA to join his family after being diagnosed with H1N1 swine flu. The group was returning  from a video shoot in Japan last week when he learned he’d contracted the virus.
• Beastie Boys – Adam Yauch says he’s bouncing back after undergoing treatment for cancer and claims his clean-living new lifestyle has helped him on the road to recovery.
• Dierks Bentley – Sunday he hosts a “Miles & Music for Kids” fundraiser in Nashville, a motorcycle ride & concert to benefit local hospitals in the Children’s Miracle Network. Performers include Darius Rucker, Heidi Newfield, Michelle Branch, and Wynonna.
• Jennifer Hudson – She says she had such an easy pregnancy with newborn son David that she often ‘forgot’ she was expecting.
• KISS – The new album “Sonic Boom” is on track to sell between 150,000 and 175,000 copies in its first week of release, giving them a beeline on their first chart-topping release ever.
• Lady Gaga – Saturday & Sunday she’s joining the National Equality March in Washington DC in support of gay rights.
• Lenny Kravitz – Sunday he kicks off his “LLR 20 (09)” tour, celebrating the 20th anniversary of his “Let Love Rule” album, with a 5-night stand at NYC’s Irving Plaza.
• Mariah Carey – Saturday her one-hour performance, “Mariah Carey Live in Las Vegas”, becomes the first concert simulcast to Internet-enabled phones and other digital devices worldwide. Virtual concert tickets will cost $9.99 for a one-time viewing. Ouch!
• Metallica – They’ve launched a new iPhone application to allow fans to listen to their live show recordings while on the move.

• “Couples Retreat” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Four couples settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on their marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort’s therapy sessions is not optional. Stars Vince Vaughn, Malin Akerman, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell among others. Hot soundtrack includes AR Rahman, Flo Rida, and Sean Kingston. Partially shot in Bora-Bora, Tahiti.
What’s your ‘Animal Relationship Totem’? The movie’s website features a 4-question quiz that tells you which animal you most resemble in your relationship …
• “Trucker” ( Limited Release R-Rated Drama ) – Michelle Monaghan stars as a truck driver who looks to turn her life around after she takes in her estranged 11-year-old son. To research the role Monaghan actually went to truck school and got a permit to drive an 18-wheeler. Co-stars Nathan Fillion and Benjamin Bratt.

The best place to find a lover is … at a religious gathering! That’s according to 77% of the respondents in a recent magazine poll. Other hot spots include ‘a friend’s home’, ‘a night school class’, ‘at work’, and – as a last resort – ‘a nightclub’. (Surprisingly ‘2-for-1 Night’ at Hooters doesn’t make the list.)
– “American Woman”

The guys making the most impact on our lives, at least according to a new survey of men …
5. Entertainment mogul Simon Cowell.
4. Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg.
3. US President Barack Obama.
2. Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt.
1. ‘Don Draper’, actor Jon Hamm’s 1960s-era sales rep character on “Mad Men” (AMC).


This should get your phone flashing: What’s your least favorite (non-swear) word? A new survey conducted by Poughkeepsie NY’s Marist College is topped by … ‘whatever’ (pronounced ‘WHAT-ehv-errr’). The slacker term of indifference has been voted ‘Most Annoying Expression in Conversation’ by 47% of those polled. It easily beats out conversation crutch-words like ‘you know’ (25%); ‘it is what it is’ (11%); ‘anyway’ (7%); and ‘at the end of the day’ (2%). (We hate ‘nincompoop’.)
– AP


“I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.”
“Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.”
“Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants!”
“Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?”
“Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.”
“I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!”
“You daring lousy guy!”
“Beat him out of recognizable shape!”
“Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.”
“I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!”


The most common names for swingers are ‘Paul’ and ‘Catherine’.
– “Daily Telegraph”


1948 [61] Jackson Browne, Heidelberg, Germany, classic rock musician (“Running On Empty”, “Somebody’s Baby”)

1952 [57] Sharon Osbourne (Arden), London UK, talent manager (Ozzy)/TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2007, “The X-Factor” in the UK since 2004, “The Osbournes” 2002-05)/Mrs Ozzy Osbourne since 1982

1953 [56] Tony Shalhoub, Green Bay WI, TV actor (3 Emmy Awards for ‘Adrian Monk’ on “Monk” since 2002)

1964 [45] Guillermo del Toro, Guadalajara, Mexico, movie director (“Pan’s Labyrinth”, “Hellboy II: The Golden Army”)  COMING UP: “The Hobbit, Part One” (2011).

1979 [30] Brandon Routh, Des Moines IA, movie actor (“Zack & Miri …”, “Superman Returns”)  UP NEXT: “Scott Pilgrim vs The World” (2010).

Rock singer David Lee Roth (Van Halen) is 55; Rock drummer Mike Malinin (Goo Goo Dolls) is 42; NFL quarterback Brett Favre (Minnesota Vikings) is 40; Rock singer/guitarist Dean Roland (Collective Soul) is 37; TV personality Mario Lopez (“Extra!”) is 36; NASCAR racing driver Dale Earnhardt Jr is 35.

Movie actress Joan Cusack (“School of Rock”) is 47; TV actress Jane Krakowski (“30 Rock”) is 41; TV actress Emily Deschanel (“Bones”) is 33; TV/movie actress Michelle Trachtenberg (“Gossip Girl”) is 24.

• “Fire Prevention Day”, a highlight of the annual observance of “Fire Prevention Week”. Why today? It marks the anniversary of the ‘Great Chicago Fire of 1871′, the disaster that began a movement toward fire prevention as an adjunct to firefighting.
• “Hispanic Heritage Day”, a highlight of “Hispanic Heritage Month”. According to the US Census Bureau, about 33 million people or 12% of America’s population is of Hispanic origin. The estimated number of Hispanics residing in Canada is now circa 550,000.
• “International Alan Day”, celebrating anyone with the name ‘Alan’, ‘Allan’, ‘Alannis’, ‘Al’, ‘Allen’ or anything vaguely in the area.
• “Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest”, the 41st celebration of the world’s 2nd-largest Oktoberfest (after Munich), expected to draw over 750,000 to suck back suds and sausages in more than 20 ‘Festhallen’ through October 17th. It also features a “Thanksgiving Day Parade” (CTV).
• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’) circa 1000 AD … almost 500 years before Christopher Columbus.
• “Nobel Peace Prize”, as the 2009 winner is announced at Oslo’s Norwegian Nobel Institute.
• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 189 member countries, oversees the co-ordination of the global postal service. When was the last time you actually wrote something on a piece of paper and mailed it snail-mail?
• “World Egg Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Friday of October to celebrate the many uses of chicken embryos.

• “Angel Food Cake Day”, honoring the dessert every starving dieter touts as being ‘fat-free’ … just before inhaling it in its entirety.
• “International Newspaper Carrier Day”, honoring everyone  who is now, or once was, a newspaper carrier. That list would number in the thousands, if not millions. (Try to land it on the porch just once, would ya?)
• “Universal Music Day”, because ‘music & art are to our spirits what air, food, and water are to our bodies. Our bodies die without water; our spirits die without music.’ Alrighty then.
• “World Mental Health Day”, a day for global mental health education & awareness first celebrated in 1992 at the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health, which operates in more than 150 countries.

• “Clergy Appreciation Day”, an annual salute to acknowledge and celebrate the efforts of those who lead, no matter their religion or creed.
• “International African Diaspora Day”, commemorating the millions of Africans throughout history who’ve either voluntary moved abroad or been displaced by wars, famines, slavery, and other events.
• “National Coming Out Day”, a day to ‘announce your sexuality and be proud of it’, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign to encourage gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people to ‘Talk About It’ with their families and friends.
• “Pumpkin Regatta”, the 11th annual in Windsor NS where racers compete in watercraft made from pumpkins weighing as much as 300 kg (660 lbs). Participants have to be physically fit because a pumpkin doesn’t exactly glide through water easily.

• Thanksgiving Day, which in Canada dates back to 1578 when explorer Martin Frobisher held a formal ceremony in what is now Newfoundland & Labrador to give thanks for surviving his long sea journey. Starting in 1879, “Thanksgiving Day” was observed every year but the date was proclaimed annually and changed year-to-year. In 1957, the Canada’s Parliament proclaimed it would be observed annually on the 2nd Monday in October.

1986 [23] ‘FOX’ TV network debuts (“The Late Show”, starring Joan Rivers)

2007 [02] MTV’s “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila” (TV’s 1st ‘bisexual dating show’) debuts, in which 16 men & 16 women compete for a chance to get romantic with the tiny hottie who first made a name for herself online

1940 [65] John Winston Lennon is born in Liverpool, England (hard to imagine what the music world would be like without his influence, both as a solo artist and as part of The Beatles)

[Mon] Columbus Day (USA)
[Mon] International Moment of Frustration Scream Day
[Mon] Kick Butt Day
[Mon] Salesperson Day
[Tues] All for the Hall Concert (Nashville)
[Tues] Face Your Fears Day
[Wed] BFI London Film Festival opens (UK)
This Week Is … Improve Your Home Office Week
This Month Is … Adopt-A-Shelter-Dog Month


• “Sequestered With Regis”
• “72 Consecutive Hours, Unedited”
• “Happy Couples Caught on Tape”
• “This Old Mobile House”
• “America’s Homeliest Spinster Pageant”
• “Neighborhood Voyeur”
• “Survivor: Rikers Island”
• “Who Wants to Get a Vasectomy?”
• “The All You Can Eat Buffet Family Challenge”
• “The Lowest Common Denominator”
– Adapted from

If you could be any actor in the world, who would you be, and why?

[Name] has found the secret of youth … she lies about her age.

Today’s Question: In a recent survey, both men & women agreed that THIS is their best body part.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their faces. (“USA Today”)


Goodness speaks in a whisper, evil shouts.

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