Wednesday, October 14, 2009        Edition: #4121
Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed an anti-paparazzi bill making it easier to sue media outlets that use photos that invade celebrities’ privacy (this could put TMZ out of business!) . . . 69-year-old actor Al Pacino has revealed in “NY Post” that when he was a struggling 20-year-old temporarily living in Sicily, an older woman provided food & shelter to him in return for sex (“he’s just a gigolo …”) . . . ‘Marge Simpson’ is “Playboy” magazine’s November cover girl (that oughta bring out the weirdos!) . . . Former “Playboy” playmate Shauna Sand is planning legal action against a film distribution company over the release of an explicit homemade movie featuring her & her current boyfriend (why, did you show something we haven’t already seen?) . . . “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” actress Penelope Cruz has fueled reports she’s engaged to actor Javier Bardem after flaunting a dazzling diamond ring in NYC (the empire-waisted top was a bigger clue) . . . Former “Gilmore Girls” star Lauren Graham is joining the cast of the upcoming series “Parenthood” (NBC) as a replacement for Maura Tierney, who was forced to drop out to battle breast cancer (the show’s now set to debut in early 2010) . . . TV personality Drew Carey (“The Price is Right”) is offering to donate $1 million to the Livestrong cancer charity if he amasses a million followers on Twitter by midnight December 31st, and he’s already above 68,000 (if he doesn’t reach his target, the donation will be prorated) . . . UNICEF has named “Pirates Of the Caribbean” actor Orlando Bloom its Goodwill Ambassador in recognition of his commitment to children’s rights around-the-world (and the fact he’s available due to no acting work in eons) . . . And Quinnipiac University in Connecticut, which has sent numerous broadcasting students to intern on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) in the past, has introduced new rules for female interns working on the show to ensure they are ‘out of harm’s way’ (BS translation: When the 62-year-old lech enters the room – run!!!).

• BFI London Film Festival (UK) – The 53rd annual through October 29th opens with a gala for the animated adventure “Fantastic Mr Fox”, featuring the voices of Bill Murray, George Clooney, Meryl Streep, and Owen Wilson.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – The Script (“The Script”).
• “Jay Leno Show” (NBC/CityTV) – Toby Keith (“American Ride”), who later appears on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Phoenix (“Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Mika (“Life in Cartoon Motion”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Colbie Caillat (“Breakthrough”).
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Taylor Swift (“Fearless”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Rascal Flatts (“Greatest Hits Volume 1 – Limited Edition”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Five For Fighting (“Slice”).


• Carly Simon – She’s suing Starbucks, saying the coffee company’s now-defunct music division didn’t adequately promote her 2008 album, “This Kind of Love”, dooming it before it was even released.
• Drake – He tells “Billboard” he is back to work on his first, full-length album after injuring his leg on tour this summer. “Thank Me Later” is slated for a February release
• Elvis Presley – The 155-acre Circle G Ranch (known by fans as the ‘Elvis Ranch’) near Memphis TN, which he bought in 1967 to share with his new wife Priscilla, is up for sale at $6.5 million. Although the property is zoned for development, the famous honeymoon cottage will have to be preserved as part of any deal.
• KISS – Mars Snackfood has announced the launch of the ‘My M&M’S KISS Blend’ in honor of the group’s new album and tour. Each M&M will bear the image of a band member’s face.
• Michael Jackson – “This Is It” was originally co-written by Canadian lounge singer Paul Anka (“My Way”) for a 1983 album that never came to fruition because of an argument between him and Michael. It was subsequently recorded and released in 1991 by an obscure Puerto Rican artist called Sa-Fire. Now with the release of Jackson’s version, Anka is entitled to collect half the royalties.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s set to guest on an upcoming episode of “WWE Raw” (USA Network), the TV show staged by World Wrestling Entertainment.
• Spice Girls – Word has it 34-year-old Mel B is determined to get the girls back together one more time and wants them to perform as a foursome if Victoria Beckham refuses to take part.


According to the New Vehicle Experience Study by San Diego CA-based market research firm Strategic Vision, what you drive reveals a lot about your personality and background. For example 13% of Chevy owners don’t use the Internet, compared to less than 3% of Honda owners. The antithesis of flashy, Honda owners are usually pragmatic and well-educated. 70% of them boast a college degree or higher, compared with 35% of Chevy owners and 45% of Ford owners. (Used Vespa owners are most likely to work in broadcasting.)

10. Marv Albert – The ‘Voice of Basketball’ got in trouble for punching and biting a woman during sex. Apparently consensual – they had a 10-year relationship – it’s still pervy as heck.
9. Woody Allen – Had a child with Mia Farrow and adopted 2 more with her before sleeping with and eventually marrying another of her adopted daughters.
8. R Kelly – Married his protegé Aaliyah when she was 15. He’s also been busted with pics and videos of other underage girls.
7. Jeffrey Jones – Better known as the principal in the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, he was arrested for employing a 14-year old boy to pose for photos.
6. Fatty Arbuckle – Hugely successful silent film actor in the 1910s and ‘20s was accused of sexually assaulting a young actress and causing her death. Somehow he got off … the charges.
5. Eddie Murphy – Picked up with a transvestite prostitute in his car in 1997, then used the flimsy excuse was he was just giving him (her?) a ride and some cash because he’s a nice guy.
4. Hugh Grant – Hard to believe someone sleeping with Elizabeth Hurley every night needed to go slumming on Sunset Blvd with a hooker but he did in 1997 … and got caught.
3. Jerry Lee Lewis – The rock ‘n roll pioneer had a 2nd marriage to his 1st cousin … when she was only 13.
2. Charlie Sheen – Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss’ most famous client. He developed a bad rep for doing dope and hiring professional ladies in his heyday.
1. Roman Polanski – Great director, yes. Doesn’t make relations with a 13-year-old back in 1978 any cooler.
– Condensed from

According to a new survey, smelly people, fat people, and people who cough & sneeze are the most disliked passengers to be seated next to on an airplane. Almost half of those polled by travel website Travelocity say passengers with poor hygiene are worst; 30% dislike those who cough & sneeze; and 15% pick porky passengers as most annoying. Almost two-thirds of respondents say ‘seat-kicking’ is the rudest behavior you can be exposed to on commercial airliners, followed by ‘loud talking or swearing’, and ‘reclining the seat all the way back’. (Oprah Winfrey picked ‘getting it on with the pilot while I’m sleeping’.)
– Reuters

A new study suggests there’s a link between our sense of smell and our awareness of other people’s emotions. In experiments at Rice University in Houston TX, college students who correctly selected a T-shirt worn by a roommate simply by smelling it also tended to score high on emotional sensitivity tests. The study also finds that women have a more uniform sense of smell than men, and are also more sensitive to emotional cues. (Guys also sense emotionalism … but run away ASAP.)
– “National Geographic”

Nick & Christy Harp of Jackson Township, near Canton OH, brought a pumpkin weighing 1,725 lbs (782 kg) to the annual Ohio Valley Giant Pumpkin Growers weigh-off, making them a shoo-in for the biggest pumpkin title and possibly a Guinness-certified world record. At one point in August, the Harps say their massive pumpkin was growing at the rate of 33 lbs (15 kg) … a day.

Over the last 30,000 years, human brain size, tooth size, and jaw size have all been on the decrease – exactly the same kind of changes that have occurred as animals such as dogs were domesticated, says Richard Wrangham, a biological anthropologist at Harvard University. (So we’re tame now?)
– “New Scientist”


1927 [82] (Sir) Roger Moore, London UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-85 including “A View to a Kill”, “The Spy Who Loved Me”)

1939 [70] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (Polo, CK Jeans)

1974 [35] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Travelin’ Soldier”, “Landslide”)

1978 [31] Usher (Raymond), Dallas TX, pop/R&B singer (“Love In This Club”, “Yeah”)

1996 [13] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, Madonna’s daughter via fitness trainer Carlos Leon

• “Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day”, a great opportunity to show off your beloved pal to work associates … and don’t forget to dress him up for the big event!

• “Dessert Day”, honoring the tasty treat that tops off dinner. Nowadays just 14% of families regularly consume dessert, as opposed to 24% only 20 years ago. But that number may be a little misleading because studies show that younger people (under 45) eat dessert foods more often, occasionally having them in place of regular meals.

• “Frump Day”, honoring the world’s largest silent majority: those average, unpretentious, regular folks. You know … riffraff.

• “International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction”, observed annually on the 2nd Wednesday of October to promote disaster prevention and preparedness.

• “International Emergency Nurses Day”, saluting the dedication and commitment of emergency nursing professionals, who bring care, comfort, and compassion to patients. The annual event is observed in Australia, Canada, and the USA.

• “Quarrel Festival” (or “Rough House Festival”) in Japan when people jostle one another to demonstrate their skill and balance in handling burdens. Impress the boss by giving her a cross-body block today.

• “Train Your Brain Day,” a day to ‘clean out the cobwebs, blast
through the barriers and click on the light bulbs’ because humans use
only a small percentage of their brain power.


1916 [93] 1st ‘Nude Movie Scene’ (Annette Kellerman in “Daughter Of the Gods”)

1926 [83] Author AA Milne’s silly old bear of ‘Hundred-Acre Wood’ is introduced in the children’s classic “Winnie-the-Pooh”

2005 [04] Actor Daniel Craig is announced as the new ‘James Bond’ at a news conference in London UK

1947 [62] 1st ‘Supersonic Flight’ (Chuck Yeager reaches mach 1.015 in Bell XS-1 nicknamed ‘Glamorous Glennis’)


1990 [19] ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald successfully executes 21,663 loops with a yo-yo in 3 hours (Toronto ON)

1993 [16] ‘Largest Lasagna’ weighs 8,188 lbs and measures 70 ft x 7 ft (Salinas CA)

[Thurs] Rome Film Festival begins (Italy)
[Thurs] International Credit Union Day
[Thurs] Grouch Day
[Thurs] White Cane Safety Day
[Fri] Boss’ Day
[Fri] Dictionary Day
[Fri] World Food Day
This Week Is … International Pinball Week
This Month Is … Alternate History Month


Actual statements collected from medical records written by paramedics, emergency room receptionists, and a doctor or two …
• “Diagnosis: Sick As Hell Disease.”
• “Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.”
• “The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”
• “She is numb from her toes down.”
• “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.”
• “The patient refused an autopsy.”
• “The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.”


Pushing 40 is exercise enough.

Listener must answer rapid-fire, and must get all questions WRONG to win. The trick is to answer with something so outrageous, it couldn’t possibly be correct. [The correct answer that can not be used is in brackets.] It’s way tougher than it seems!
• What’s the official name for a group of goldfish? [A troubling.]
• What color is the sky? [Blue/black/white/etc.]
• What’s the opposite of ‘up’. [Down.]
• In which country did umbrellas originate? [Egypt.]
• How deep is a fathom? [6 feet.]
• What is the ‘lead’ in a lead pencil made from? [Graphite & clay.]
• What’s the capital of Paraguay? [Asuncion.]
• Name The Beatles. [John, Paul, George, Ringo.]
• The average human body has 14-to-18 square feet of what? [Skin.]
• What’s your first name?


What would you do with a slave for a day?


Today’s Question: The older you get the more the color of THIS matters to you.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your underwear.

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggy’ until you can find a rock.

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