Tuesday, October 20, 2009        Edition: #4125
You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
23-year-old “The Hills” star Stephanie Pratt (Spencer’s sister) has been arrested on suspicion of DUI and taken into custody with bail set at $5,000 (you never know if this stuff’s real or just another ‘unscripted’ moment being taped for the show) . . . Famous person Paris Hilton reportedly has a 3-page rider of demands in order to do a cameo in the new movie “The Other Guys”, including live lobsters and vodka on-set (if it’s like most of her movies, that just ate up any potential profit) . . . Johnny Depp & Megan Fox have been voted the ‘Sexiest Movie Stars of All-Time’ by British movie magazine “Empire” (where ‘all-time’ refers to about 5 years) . . . 48-year-old actor George Clooney admits he looks older in recent movies because he refuses to wear makeup onscreen but he’s happy to embrace the aging process because it’s better than ‘the other option’ (c’mon, no makeup?) . . . Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is set to join the cast of “Gossip Girl” (CW) in a cameo role – as herself (even that will challenge her acting chops) . . . And 39-year-old movie actor Gerard Butler (“Law Abiding Citizen”) is undergoing a brutal detox regimen in a bid to lose weight and get healthy, surviving on a diet of just lemon water and cayenne pepper, designed to cleanse his body of toxins (yeck, that’ll relieve you of just about everything else as well).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• BBC Electric Proms (London) – Robbie Williams opens the annual event,
performing past hits and material form his comeback album, “Reality
Killed The Video Star” (out November 9th).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – The professional dancers pay tribute to Michael Jackson; another elimination.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – OneRepublic (“Dreaming Out Loud”).
• “Jay Leno Show” (NBC/CityTV) – Ludacris (“Theater Of the Mind”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Sounds (“Living in America”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Landon Pigg (“LP”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Cobra Starship f/Estelle (“Hot Mess”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Beyoncé – She’s postponed a planned concert in Malaysia at a Kuala
Lumpur stadium this coming Sunday. The event’s organizer says the
postponement is ‘solely the decision of the artist and has nothing to
do with other external reasons’. (BS translation: It ain’t happening.)
• Def Leppard – Their North American tour was supposed to begin last Thursday in Reno NV but they called it off because of ‘unforeseen personal matters’. No one’s talking about what those might be.
• Flight Of the Conchords – Today they release their sophomore album, “I Told You I Was Freaky”, a collection of tunes from the 2nd season of their HBO comedy.
• Michael Jackson – Word has it he co-wrote a graphic novel which will be published next year. It’s about a successful-but-isolated pop music performer who survives a suicide jump only to see his popularity rise even further. Then he starts to change into something literally supernatural.
NET: http://bit.ly/GUA8U
• Nas – He has been hit with a massive $2.5-million demand from IRS tax officials, according to reports. What’s the deal with celebs and taxes lately?
• Train – Tonight they kick off a fall tour in Seattle WA in support of their new album, “Save Me, San Francisco” (out October 27th). Uncle Kracker is the opening act.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “Blood: The Last Vampire” ( Horror Thriller ): A vampire who is part of covert government agency that hunts and destroys demons in a post-WW2 Japan is inserted into a military school to discover which one of her classmates is a demon in disguise. No-name cast. Japanese film never widely released in North America.
• “Land Of the Lost” ( Comedy Adventure ): Will Ferrell stars as a scientist who is sucked into a space-time vortex alongside his research assistant (Anna Friel) & a redneck survivalist (Danny McBride). Together they strive to make it back home from a world full of dinosaurs and other fantastic creatures. Based on the kids’ TV adventure series that ran from 1974-77.
• “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen” ( Sci-Fi Adventure ): Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel (‘doo-MELL’) return in the follow-up to 2007′s “Transformers”. ‘Decepticon’ forces return to Earth to take ‘Sam’ (LaBeouf) prisoner after he learns the ancient origins of the ‘Transformers’. Soundtrack includes music by Linkin Park. Also comes in a ‘Two-Disc Special Edition’ and a ‘Two-Movie Mega Collection’. “Transformers 3” is already scheduled for 2011.
• Also released today: “Fawlty Towers Remastered: Special Edition” (classic UK TV); “Hawaii Five-O: The 7th Season” (vintage TV); “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show: The Complete Series” (vintage TV); “The L Word: Final Season” (TV); “Numb3rs: The 5th Season” (TV); “Peanuts 1970s Collection: Volume 1” (animation); “Saturday Night Live: The Best of Amy Poehler” (TV); and “The Transformers: 25th Anniversary ‘Matrix of Leadership’ Edition” (TV).

CIRCLE OF SAGS:
According to the medical journal “Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery” (got that one on your coffee table?), faces age in a clockwise direction. The first part of the face to sag is the right eye, then the right side of the jaw, and so on in a circular motion. (No wonder my right jowl’s been scraping the sidewalk!)
– “Social Studies”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 78% of kids don’t know their home phone number. (Likely because most no longer have a home phone.)
• 60% of women secretly hate bridal showers. (So why have them?)
• 51% of parents say texting their kids makes them feel ‘younger’. (And their kids feel lamer.)
• 44% of us will carve a pumpkin before the end of October. (We’d rather carve a roast beef.)
• 42% of women say they can’t stand it when their man leaves clothes on floor. (Oh yeah? What about all that junk on the bathroom counter? Huh? Huh?)
• 27% of women say a guy standing up when she leaves the table is a chivalrous act. (Unless he creepily follows her to the john.)

HIPPITY HOPPITY HEAT:
A heating plant in central Sweden is being fueled by … rabbits. The city of Stockholm has an annual cull of bunnies which are said to be destroying its parks and green spaces. The rabbits, not native to Sweden, are mainly the offspring of pets released by owners. Since they have no natural predators, the city administration employs hunters to kill them off. Some 6,000 rabbits were culled last year; another 3,000 so far this year. Once culled, the rabbits are frozen, then transported to a heating plant in Karlskoga which incinerates them to heat homes. (“Put another Thumper on the fire …”)
– “Der Spiegel”

TERRIBLE TRANSPLANT:
A coroner’s inquest has heard that a British soldier apparently died because of a hospital transplant that gave him a pair of lungs donated by … a heavy smoker. The 31-year-old was stationed in Iraq when diagnosed with an incurable condition which left him unable to breathe. He underwent double transplant surgery in 2007 but died less than a year later from a tumor in the new lungs. Subsequent analysis has revealed he’d been given the lungs of a donor who smoked 30-to-50 cigarettes a day. (And to make things worse, David Hasselhoff’s liver!)
– “The Guardian”

7 PHRASES GUYS LOVE TO HEAR:
Whether you’re starting a new relationship or already married, there are some things that don’t change, like the need to feel appreciated and needed. Here are a few compliments sure to leave your guy glowing …
• “You look great!” (Men have insecurities, just like women.)
• “I love your [insert body part here].” (Guys want to know you’re attracted to what they have.)
• “I love it when you [insert action here].” (If you like it, why not encourage it?)
• “That woman just checked you out.” (What guy can resist the idea that women are giving him a once-over?)
• “Will you help me fix this?” (Men like to feel manly. Helping women with simple tasks makes them feel macho and noble.)
• “You’re right!” (We all like to be right, men included. And you know what? Sometimes men are.)
– Condensed from YourTango.com.

ONLINE MAINLINING:

If at-risk children are given sufficient time online without careful monitoring, Internet addiction could easily become one of the most chronic childhood diseases of the near-future. That’s the warning from Dr Dimitri Christakis of Seattle’s Center for Child Health, Behavior & Development. Our culture practically mandates time online, he claims, thanks to wi-fi connections in coffee shops, and smart phones that allow Internet access almost anywhere. (Parents, if you don’t want a ‘screenager’ set some boundaries early.)
– CNN.com

WE’RE WIMPS!
In his new book, “Manthropology: The Science Of the Inadequate Modern Male”, Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister claims that, compared to humans throughout history, we’re a bunch of wimps. Among his findings to support that claim …
• Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun current world 100- and 200-meter record holder Usain Bolt.
• Some Tutsi men in Rwanda have exceeded the current world high-jump record of 2.45 meters (8 ft) during initiation ceremonies in which they’re required to jump at least their own height in order to enter manhood.
• Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle, even when he was in his prime.
• Roman legions completed more than 1-and-a-half marathons a day, carrying more than half their body weight in equipment.
• Ancient Athens employed 30,000 rowers who could all exceed the achievements of modern oarsmen.
• Australian aboriginals could throw a hardwood spear 110 meters (360 ft) or more; the current world javelin record is 98.48 m.
– Reuters

DID YOU KNOW?
• Earth’s warmest year was 1998. (So far.)
– BBC News
• Sailors in the 16h century carried ‘man bags’. (But never a ‘murse’.)
– “Times of London”
• Each of us has about 1.5 kg (3.3 lbs) of probiotic bacteria in our digestive system. (Don’t freak out … you need them!)
– “Magazine Monitor”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.20.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [59] Tom Petty, Gainesville FL, classic rock singer (“Learning to Fly”, “Free Falling”)

1958 [51] Viggo Mortensen, NYC, movie actor (“Eastern Promises”, “Lord Of the Rings”)

1963 [46] Julie Payette, Montréal QC, Canadian Space Agency astronaut (Space Shuttle Discovery 1999)/1st Canadian to board the International Space Station/CSA Chief Astronaut 2000-07

1971 [38] Snoop Dogg (Cordozar Calvin Broadus), Long Beach CA, rap artist (w/Akon-“I Wanna Love You”, f/Pharrell-“Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/movie actor (“Soul Plane”, “Old School”)

1978 [31] Paul Wilson, Kinlochleven, Scotland, alt-rock bass player (Snow Patrol-“Take Back the City”, “Chasing Cars”)

1979 [30] John Krasinski, Newton MA, TV actor (‘Jim Halpert’ on “The Office” since 2005)/movie actor (“Away We Go”, “License to Wed”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Brandied Fruit Day”. Yeehaw, let’s hear it for booze with a pit!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1962 [47] Halloween classic “The Monster Mash” by Bobby ‘Boris’ Picket & the Crypt Kickers hits #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1818 [191] 49th parallel established as western Canada-US border

1865 [144] Ottawa becomes capital of Canada

1928 [81] America’s Republican party 1st makes election promise of “a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage”

1992 [17] 1st World Series game played outside the USA as Toronto Blue Jays beat Atlanta Braves 3-2 at Toronto’s Skydome in Game 3 of the World Series

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .

1968 [41] Likely the ‘Largest Ever Pre-Nuptial Agreement’ as Jackie Kennedy weds Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis after signing 173-page deal that includes a guarantee of separate bedrooms

1993 [16] Toronto and Philadelphia set MLB records for longest (4:14 hrs) and highest-scoring (29 runs) World Series game (Blue Jays finally win 15-14)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
[Thurs] Caps Locks Day
[Thurs] International Stuttering Awareness Day
[Fri] “Amelia”; “Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant”; “Saw VI” open in movie theaters
[Sat] UN Day
[Sat] World Development Information Day
[Sat] Make A Difference Day
This Week Is … Food Bank Week
This Month Is … Disability Employment Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Nothing ventured, nothing gained is the adage that describes your life. In fact, ‘nothing’ will play a very large role in your future.
• Taurus – You may never find what you’re looking for but at least you managed to find that hilarious picture of a chimp sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper.
• Gemini – Your children will return but they’ll be unnaturally quiet and good-natured. Eventually, you’ll discover how the switch was made.
• Cancer – Partner someone in a dance today and you’ll feel fantastic for a week. After that you’ll remember your partner was actually the dance teacher who told you that you smell like garlic.
• Leo – Your friends will suddenly start showing you love this week. It likely has nothing at all to do with your recent lottery luck.
• Virgo – Love may come your way this week … but if it doesn’t you can at least console yourself with the fact that you haven’t made a complete fool of yourself. No, that happens next week. Enjoy!
• Libra – Any satisfaction you had about not having a police record may be undone today.
• Scorpio – You will buy into the theory that you can learn a lot about people simply by removing the first letter of their name. For example, Hugh … ugh. And try to avoid Alice.
• Sagittarius – Good day to bring home an insectivore as a pet.
• Capricorn – Only love can break your heart but you’ll find that trans-fatty acids will also give it a damn good try.
• Aquarius – Your manager will be a real twit today. That’s ok, it’s what she’s paid for.
• Pisces – A romantic hotel break may be just the thing to spark up your love life this weekend. If only you had someone to take with you … loser.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it … so I said “Implants?”

BS WEB GOODIE:
This site ranks world leaders by their … hotness. #1 is Yulia Tymoshenko, Prime Minister of Ukraine.
NET: http://hottestheadsofstate.wordpress.com/list/

BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the most ridiculous but very cool fashion trend that you once followed?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: If you want to live a long time, stats show THIS is the career you should pick.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lawyer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.


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