Thursday, October 22, 2009        Edition: #4127
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!


Tonight the 20th anniversary of the Tom Cruise movie “Cocktail” will be celebrated in NYC, with screenwriter & former bartender Heywood Gould as guest of honor at the Penn Station TGI Friday restaurant where much of the picture was shot, accompanied by a slew of Tom Cruise look-a-likes (likely because the big guy passed) . . . This week 28-year-old Justin Timberlake has flown to Vancouver where his ex-girlfriend, 27-year-old actress Jessica Biel, is shooting “The A-Team” movie and they’ve reportedly been spotted getting cozy in the back of a theater during a late-night showing of “Where the Wild Things Are” (aw, ain’t love grand!) . . . Also in Vancouver, “Twilight” stars (and rumored real-life couple) Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are said to be ‘living together’, occupying the entire 34th floor of the Sheraton Wall Centre Hotel while shooting the 3rd instalment of the film franchise, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (does sharing a floor necessarily mean you’re sharing anything else?) . . . 48-year-old movie actor Eddie Murphy has been forced to slash the asking price for his New Jersey estate by half after no one was tempted by the original $30 million asking price – for 5 years (seems not many are looking for a bowling alley, movie theater & recording studio) . . . 23-year-old actress Mischa Barton says she’s turning her back on TV following the cancellation of her series “The Beautiful Life” because she wants to focus on ‘more serious roles’ (BS translation: You gotta role, I’ll seriously consider it) . . . And 28-year-old actress/singer Jennifer Hudson, who gave birth to her son David in August, says she really misses eating for 2 like she did during pregnancy (by the look of recent photos, you could have fooled us!).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Mika (“Life in Cartoon Motion”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Temper Trap (“Conditions”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ladyhawke (“Ladyhawke”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Lynyrd Skynyrd (“Gods & Guns”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Miranda Lambert (“Revolution”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Dave Matthews Band (“Big Whiskey & The GrooGrux King”).
• “Who Shot Rock & Roll” – A new photobook of rock photography, compiled by author/historian Gail Buckland, includes some 200 shots of iconic artists like Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain and many others. A traveling museum exhibit of the photos launches this fall, beginning at NYC’s Brooklyn Museum later this month.


• AC/DC – Sony Music is prepping “AC/DC: No Bull” for a high-definition DVD release December 8th. The concert was filmed in 1996 in the Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas, in Madrid, Spain.
• Amy Winehouse – Her father Mitch has confirmed she’s had a $52,000 boob-job. (Why not get ‘em both done at the same time?)
• Britney Spears – She’s reached a settlement with the paparazzo whose foot she ran over with her vehicle in 2007. No details have been announced but Ricardo Mendoza claimed his foot has been damaged for life, and his injuries had cost him $195,000 in general damages.
• Kings of Leon – Today a photo exhibition entitled “Kings Of Leon: Ten Year Reign” opens at the Proud Galleries in London UK, documenting their rise to fame over the last decade. The pics by photographer Jo McCaughey were shot as she rode along on the band’s tour bus.
• Robbie Williams – The Brit pop star’s comeback performance at this week’s BBC Electric Proms in London was beamed to more than 250 cinemas across 23 countries, setting a “Guinness World Record” for ‘Most Simultaneous Cinematic Screenings of a Live Concert’.
• Sum 41 – Deryck Whibley has apparently moved on from his busted 3-year marriage to Avril Lavigne, spotted kissing new girl, 21-year-old model and ‘scene queen’ HannaBeth Merjos, in a Hollywood tattoo parlor. (How romantic.)
• Whitney Houston – In his new tell-all book, “Bobby Brown: The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But …”, her ex-husband claims she only married him to stop bisexuality rumors that claimed she was in a relationship with her female assistant, Robin Crawford. (Sorry, no pics.)

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Adjustment Bureau” – Matt Damon’s stepsister, 22-year-old model-turned-actress Sarah Bradford, has landed a part in his now-shooting new movie about an affair between a politician and a ballerina. While the half-sibs grew up together, Bradford insists it was her own hard work that earned her an audition. But when she discovered the role she’d been handed would require her to hop in the sack with her real-life sibling, she quickly auditioned for a more appropriate part … and she was selected again.
• “Dr Bonesaw” – The producers of this low-budget horror thriller are making Hollywood history by funding the film with cash donated by … people who want to ‘die’ in it. Producer Jesse Vigil says it’s the first horror film funded by its victims. The idea seems to be a big success as a large portion of the production costs have already been covered by wannabe actors.
• “Rock of Ages” – Adam Shankman (“Hairspray”) will direct & choreograph the screen version of the Broadway musical that follows a couple who meet at a Sunset Strip club, fall in love, and try to stay together amid rough times. Meantime, the cast finds excuses to belt out ‘80s rock anthems made popular by Bon Jovi, Joan Jett, Journey, Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister, and many more. Filming will begin by next summer, and the movie will be released in 2011.
• “Still Bill” – This new film takes audiences on the incredible journey of 1970s soul singer Bill Withers (“Lean on Me”, “Ain’t No Sunshine”), an unlikely star whom we haven’t heard from in over 2 decades. The film is getting an unusual release via B-Side Entertainment’s Theatrical-on-Demand program, whereby individuals and organizations can host a screening of any size, in any location, at any time. Some are calling the concept ‘the future of niche cinema’.


Just as the furor over the flaw-ridden ‘Vista’ has died down, Microsoft is releasing the new ‘Windows 7′ operating system to retail shelves and in new PCs today. For those running ‘Windows XP’ or whose system has failed to pass for an upgrade, the only option available is to perform a ‘Clean Install’. This involves backing up your personal files and settings to an external drive, wiping your main hard-drive clean, and then installing ‘Windows 7′ from scratch. To lessen the confusion, Microsoft has made available a free download, the ‘Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor’, designed to help users analyze their computers and see if an upgrade is an option. (See BULL’S BITS.)


Move over Hummer, there’s a new oversized male toy on the block: The ‘Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition’ armored 4WD, developed by Russian carmaker RussoBaltique. How bad is this bad-boy? Let’s just say that it has seats covered with ‘whale-penis leather’. The world’s most expensive SUV also has bulletproof windows that are gold-plated; an exhaust pipe made of tungsten, gauges encrusted with diamonds & rubies; and Kevlar-coating on the exterior. MSRP: about $1.6 million. But for that, you also get 3 bottles of the world’s most expensive vodka.

Massive Paul Mason of Ipswich UK once set his sights on becoming the ‘World’s Heaviest Man’. And the 48-year-old was well on his way, tipping the scales at 980 lbs. Acquaintances say no one could stop him from eating; often spotting him going through a McDonald’s drive-thru in his wheelchair. But Mason, who stands just 5-ft, 6-in tall, is now virtually immobile. He lies on a reinforced bed in a specially-built bungalow with 5-ft-wide doorframes. He’s scheduled for a $35,000-stomach surgery to keep him alive. Overall, health experts estimate his care has cost Britain’s National Health Service over $1.5 million in the past 7 years. (US Republicans are loving this.)

Music games are rocking the videogame market with 2 new releases boosting game sales last month according to just-released “Billboard” statistics. “The Beatles: Rock Band” had total sales of 595,000 units and “Guitar Hero 5” moved 499,000 units. The Beatles finished 3rd overall in game sales, behind “Halo 3: ODST” and “Madden NFL 10”. “Guitar Hero 5” grabbed 4th place.

Starting in 2010, an international crew of 6 will simulate a 520-day round-trip to Mars, including a 30-day stay on the Martian surface. In reality, they will live and work in a sealed facility in Moscow, Russia to investigate the psychological and medical aspects of a long-duration space mission. The European Space agency is currently looking for volunteers to take part. (Can you go 20 days without a bathroom break?)


The Pentagon has unveiled a new ‘chemical robot’ that’s half liquid, half solid. Known as the ‘ChemBot’, it moves by inflating and deflating parts of its body, changing them between semi-liquid and semi-solid states. Researchers say it could one day help save lives on the battlefield because this robot could go where others could not. Already scientists are able to make the ‘ChemBot’ get bigger or smaller, roll it around, even have it pass through cracks in walls and re-form on the other side. (If it doesn’t succeed as a weapon, it’ll make a heckuva movie!)

• For the first time, the 2 main methods of contraception are being used equally, with 1-in-4 women under 50 choosing to use either the pill or a condom. (And guys choosing ‘whatever … let’s just do it’.)
• A University of North Carolina study has found that our minds drift away from the task we’re performing fully one-third of the time. (But this is a good thing because … on look, that cloud looks like a coffee pot!).


1952 [57] Jeff Goldblum, West Homestead PA, TV actor (‘Detective Zach Nichols’-“Law & Order: Criminal Intent”)/movie actor (“Independence Day”, “Jurassic Park”)

1968 [41] Shaggy (Orville Burrell), Kingston, Jamaica, reggae singer (“Angel”, “It Wasn’t Me”)

1969 [40] Spike Jonze (Adam Spiegel), Rockville MD, movie director (“Where the Wild Things Are”, “Being John Malkovich”)/boyfriend of actress Michelle Williams (former fiancée of Heath Ledger)/director Sofia Coppola’s ex- (1999-2003)

1976 [33] Jon Foreman, San Bernardino CA, alt-rock/CCM guitarist (Switchfoot-“Meant to Live”, “Dare You to Move”)

1983 [26] Rickard Goransson, Stockholm, Sweden, rock guitarist (Carolina Liar-“I’m Not Over”, “Show Me What I’m Looking For”)

• “Barber Day”, honoring those scissor-handed folks who run clip joints.

• “Holy See Day” in Vatican City, the tiny country’s national day. The smallest independent nation in the world covers an area of about 44 hectares (109 acres).

• “international caps lock day” or is it “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”? In any event, it’s an annual celebration of one of the more useful keys on your keyboard. (Unlike ‘Scroll Lock’.)

• “International Stuttering Awareness Day”, originated in 1998 to raise public awareness of the millions who suffer from the speech disorder. Although many locales don’t have support groups, there are online resources for stutterers and cooperative education groups that work in schools.

• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, but a legume. Definition of a nut: a hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed.

1939 [70] 1st ‘Televised Pro Football Game’ features Brooklyn Dodgers beating Philadelphia Eagles 23-14, picked up by a total of 500 TV sets (about the same as last weekend’s Detroit Lions game)


1942 [67] Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” hits #1 on record charts and stays there 11 weeks (biggest-selling single of all-time until Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997” knocks it off)

1969 [40] Due to persistent ‘Paul is dead’ rumors, Paul McCartney declares publicly that he is alive and well


1897 [112] 1st ‘Used Car Dealership’ opens, in London UK (and the 1st tires are kicked)

1938 [71] 1st ‘Photocopy’ is made by inventor Charles Floyd Carlson of Astoria NY (next day, the 1st photocopy of an employee’s butt is made)

1995 [14] ‘Largest Gathering of World Leaders’ in history marks the 50th anniversary of the United Nations in NYC


[Fri] “Amelia”; “Astro Boy”; “Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant”; “Saw VI” open in movie theaters
[Sat] UN Day
[Sat-Sun] 2009 Bridge School Benefit Concerts (Mountain View CA)
[Sun] Lung Health Day
[Sun] Mother-in-Law Day
[Mon] Worldwide Howl At the Moon Night
This Week Is … Chemistry Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month


• ‘Blue Screen of Resurrection’.
• ‘Classic Vista’ compatibility mode.
• Personal apology from Bill Gates for ‘Me’, ‘Vista’, ‘IE 6′ …
• Complete collection of “I’m a Mac; I’m a PC” TV ads.
• Easy integration of any app developed by Google.
• Money-back guarantee if not fully satisfied.
– Adapted from


What is the perfect age to marry? Why?


• As a science project, get the kids to glue them back on the trees.
• Press them in a book, then impress friends when you open it and cover the carpet with crap.
• Leave them where they are. Call it ‘composting’.
• Crunch them up and convince your spouse it’s the latest high-fiber cereal.
• Be thankful for them, because you can’t see how badly your lawn needs mowing.


Why be difficult when, with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Today’s Question: From the time you are born until you die the size of THIS never changes.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your eyes.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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