Tuesday, October 31, 2006        Edition: #3398
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s BS!

TODAY America Online relaunches its ‘AOL Red’ website aimed at teens by selling – for $7.99 – the previously unreleased horror film “Incubus”, starring Tara Reid . . . TODAY the new cable channel “Fearnet” is scheduled to be launched on Comcast cable that provides horror movies on demand . . . TONIGHT to celebrate Halloween, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (NBC) features ‘skelevision’, a rerun of a MAY episode but with all featured performers appearing as skeleton puppets . . . The buzz out of Dublin, Ireland has it that Michael Jackson is planning to marry his children’s nanny (or the children of his nanny or some such thing) . . . Now that it’s been revealed that  Anna Nicole Smith doesn’t actually own her house in the Bahamas and that her residency there is being challenged, she may be faced with the grizzly possibility of having to dig up her late son Daniel’s body when she moves elsewhere . . . Jennifer Lopez has agreed to enter arbitration to settle her pending lawsuit against former hubby and wannabe tell-all author Ojani Noa, who allegedly offered to drop the project if she tossed him a $5 million buy-out . . . And Phoenix AZ-based smut agent David Hans Schmidt claims that he has over 200 personal photos of “Desperate Housewives’” star Marcia Cross that were retrieved from her trash (including her showering in the buff outdoors) and is refusing to give them up even though she’s demanding their return (and because we really need to know, Schmidt informs us that redhead Marcia’s “carpet does match the curtains”).

•  Alice Cooper – TONIGHT the scary classic rocker appears on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Barry Manilow – TODAY he releases “Greatest Songs Of The ‘60s”, the follow-up to his million-seller, “Greatest Song Of The ‘50s”. Just a warning: Manilow predicts that a similar visit to the ’70s is inevitable.
• The Clash – TODAY a new box set of all 19 of the classic rockers’ singles is released with original artwork included.
• Courtney Love – TODAY she guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Kellie Pickler — TODAY the “American Idol 5” finalist releases her debut album, “Small Town Girl”, featuring her first single, “Red High Heels”.
• Kevin Federline – After months of derisive speculation about it, he finally releases his debut hip-hop album “Playing with Fire”, which he promises will showcase his ‘edgy side’. Meantime, his FRIDAY performance at NYC’s Webster Hall is on the verge of being cancelled because hardly any of the $20-tickets have been sold.
• Marilyn Manson – TONIGHT he makes his “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” debut, performing the timely “This Is Halloween”. His version of the song is featured on the 2-disc reissue of “The Nightmare Before Christmas” soundtrack.
• Meat Loaf – TONIGHT he’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) to flog his new album, “Bat Out of Hell III”.
• Also released TODAY: Deftones’ “Saturday Night Wrist”; “Flavor Flav” self-titled album; Lady Sovereign’s “Public Warning”; Nellie McKay’s “Pretty Little Head”; The Who’s “Endless Wire”; and Willie Nelson’s “Songbird”.

No big movie releases this week because no one seems to want to compete with YESTERDAY’s release of “Mission Impossible 3”. But you will find …
• “First & Farewell” ( Musical Documentary ): Barry Manilow’s double-DVD set featuring never-before-seen footage from his inaugural tour rehearsal in 1974 and the final concert of his “One Night Live! One Last Time!” farewell tour in 2004, recorded at The Pond in Anaheim CA.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “CSI: Miami – The Complete 4th Season”; “Ghost Whisperer – The Complete 1st Season”; and the holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life” (60th Anniversary Edition).

A new horror movie survey finds that impaling is the most common way for movie evildoers to do away with their victims. Website “Family Media Guide” viewed 100 of the most popular horror movies produced since 1975. It found more than 1,700 violent acts, with nearly a quarter of them involving victims being impaled. The most violent film was 2003’s “Freddy vs Jason”, with 167 violent acts. Steven Spielberg’s 1975 film, “Jaws”, came in a surprising 2nd, largely because of the number of times the great white shark chomped into victims. Honorable mention goes to Tim Burton’s 1999 film, “Sleepy Hollow”, which features 27 beheadings. Oddly enough, none of the “Halloween” films even receive a mention.
– CTV News

The city’s police commissioner, Ian Blair, is warning that special Halloween patrols will be out in force TONIGHT to stop thugs from using the event to intimidate or rob people. Gangs of youths in scary masks will routinely be stopped and questioned, says the top cop. The extra security is a response to public fears. And where is this all happening? London, England, where full-blown Halloween celebrations are something relatively new.
– “The Guardian”

Japan’s NTT DoCoMo has developed a new cellphone that rings to let wannabe moms know when they reach the most fertile part of their monthly reproductive cycles. The user programs her personal info then sets the timer to alert her 3 days before ovulation and again on the big day. The company warns that calculations are based on average cycles. The handset provides several other functions designed to appeal to women, such as a recipe database and a button on the side that sets off a ‘camouflage call’, allowing the user to avoid unwanted attention by pretending to receive an incoming call. The phone was the idea of female designer Momoko Ikuta, who also provided its pastel paisley look. (Howz come there’s no makeup mirror?)
— Reuters

Unsure about what should be your priorities in life? Why not listen to your elders? A UKTV Gold poll asked people 65-plus: “If you could turn back time and do it all over again, what would you change?” The top answers …
5. Stand up to the boss. (33%)
4. Save money for retirement. (40%)
3. Change professions. (43%)
2. Travel more. (57%)
1. Make more time to make love. (70%)
– “Globe & Mail”

From the extremely strange scientific experiments department comes news that researchers at a Swiss university have concluded that fish can be turned on by … adult movies. The scientists showed 17 male stickleback fish 2 different films, one showing a flirtatious courtship between a male and female stickleback, the other simply showing a male caring for his brood. After the foreplay, the researchers found that the fish who had seen the racy film produced far more sperm than those who watched the boring film.
– “Curious Times”

Despite appearances, dolphins don’t smile. They lack the muscles for facial expression. Their mouths are just permanently turned upward.
– “Pick Me Up: Stuff You Need to Know”, by David Roberts.

“The bottom line is, [my daughter] Grace is my life and music is my talent and passion … I’m a mom first, a singer second.”
— Excerpt from country star Gretchen Wilson’s new book, “Redneck Woman: Stories From My Life”, in stores THIS WEEK.


1961 [45] Larry Mullen Jr, Dublin, Ireland, rock drummer (U2-“Vertigo”)
1961 [45] Peter Jackson, Pukerua Bay NZ, movie producer/director (“King Kong”, “Lord of the Rings”)

1963 [43] Rob Schneider, Pacifica CA, movie actor (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”)/former TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1990-94)

1964 [42] Darryl Worley, Pyburn TN, country singer (“Awful Beautiful Life”)

1966 [40] Adrock (Adam Horovitz), South Orange NJ, rock musician/rapper (Beastie Boys-“Ch-Check It Out”)

1967 [39] Adam Schlesinger, Montclair NJ, pop musician (Fountains of Wayne-“Stacy’s Mom”) 

• “Halloween”, a tradition in Canada, the USA, the UK, Ireland, Australia and the Philippines. In recent years, the celebration has spread to other countries around-the-world.
– The observance originated with 5th century BC Celtic Druids who believed that on October 31st, all persons who had died in the previous year assembled to choose the body of a person or animal they would inhabit for the next 12 months.
– After the 9th century AD, the day became known as “All Hallows’ Eve” or “Halloween” since it was the night before “All Saints’ Day”.
– The Irish brought the Halloween custom to North America in the 1840s. Of the countries that celebrate Halloween, only in Ireland is it considered a national holiday.

• “International UNICEF Day”, observed on October 31st since 1967, the reason many trick-or-treaters collect donations in UNICEF coin boxes.

• “International Magic Day,” traditionally a day for magicians to meet, celebrated on the anniversary of Harry Houdini’s death 80 years ago TODAY. Every year, spiritualists hold a seance on Halloween to try and contact the late magician. So far, the line’s been busy!

• “Increase Your Psychic Powers Day”. Did you sense we were going to say that?

• “Knock-Knock Jokes Day”, in honor of their momentous contribution to the comedy world. (Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting co … Moooooooo.)

0834 [1172] 1st ‘All Hallows Eve’, established by Pope Gregory IV to honor saints

1926 [80] Magician Harry Houdini dies on Halloween of gangrene & peritonitis caused by a burst appendix from being punched in the stomach

1984 [22] Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi is assassinated by her own security guards

1993 [13] Italian movie director Federico Fellini dies at age 73 and movie actor River Phoenix dies at age 23

1987 [19] ‘Longest Singles Tennis’ match lasts 80 hours, 21 minutes in Coventry UK (“Geez, I can’t believe it’s deuce AGAIN!”)

1990 [16] ‘Largest Jack-O-Lantern’ carved from 816-lb pumpkin

[Nov 1] Vegan World Day / Plan Your Epitaph Day / All Saints’ Day (All Hallow’s Day) / Family Literacy Day / Take Our Kids to Work Day
[Nov 2] Devilled Egg Day / All Soul’s Day / 7th Latin Grammy Awards (NYC) / “The OC” season 4 premiere / Men Make Dinner Day
[Nov 3] Sandwich Day / Housewives’ Day / Cliché Day / Rolling Stones play Vancouver / “Borat”; “Flushed Away”; “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause” open in movie theaters
[Nov 4] Governor General’s Performing Arts Awards Gala (Ottawa) / 21st Gemini Awards Gala (Richmond BC)
[Nov 5] Guy Fawkes Day (UK) / New York City Marathon / Hunters Moon (Full Moon in November)
[Nov 6] Saxophone Day / Halfway Point of Autumn / 40th CMA Awards (Nashville TN)
[Nov 7] World Community Day
[Nov 8] Dunce Day / Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day / Parents As Teachers Day
[Nov 9] MTV Europe Music Awards (Copenhagen, Denmark) / Tony Bennett’s 80th Birthday Gala (Hollywood CA)
[Nov 10] “A Good Year”; “Harsh Times”; “Stranger Than Fiction”; “The Return” open in movie theaters
[Nov 11] Remembrance Day / 2006 International World Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships (Toronto)
[Nov 14] Operating Room Nurse Day / Albums by “American Idol 5″ contestants Taylor Hicks & Katharine McPhee released
[Nov 15] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day / Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day / Mix It Up at Lunch Day / 1st BET Hip-Hop Awards
[Nov 17] Take A Hike Day / Homemade Bread Day / Farm Joke Day / “Casino Royale”; “Happy Feet” open in movie theaters
[Nov 18] Married To A Scorpio Support Day
[Nov 19] Have A Bad Day Day / World Toilet Day / 94th Grey Cup (Winnipeg)
[Nov 20] Absurdity Day / Name Your PC Day / Universal Children’s Day / National Child Day in Canada
[Nov 21] World Hello Day / False Confessions Day / 34th American Music Awards (LA)
[Nov 22] Start Your Own Country Day / Stop the Violence Day / “Deck the Halls”; “Deja Vu”; “Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny”; “The Fountain” open in movie theaters
[Nov 23] US Thanksgiving Day
[Nov 24] Buy Nothing Day / Sinkie Day /
[Nov 25] Shopping Reminder Day / International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women / Vanier Cup (Saskatoon)
[Nov 27] Pins & Needles Day
[Nov 29] Electronic Greetings Day / Square Dance Day
[Nov 30] International Computer Security Day / Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
[Dec 1] World Aids Day
[Dec 3] International Day of Disabled Persons / 2006 Kennedy Center Honors Gala
[Dec 4] Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day
[Dec 5] “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” released on DVD
[Dec 7] Grammy Awards nominations announced


The following are houses that should be avoided when trick-or-treating …
• Any house made of food.
• Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.
• Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole.
• Any house that growls at you “Get out!”
• Any house that wasn’t there just a minute ago.

TRICKS: Witches’ pranks were replaced by kids’ ‘tricks’ in the 1800’s on “Mischief Night”.
COSTUMES: Ancient Druids began the tradition of ‘guisers’ (disguisers) by blackening their faces with ash from bonfires, then roaming around demanding money or food.
TREATS: May have come from Medieval England when people made rounds on “All Souls Day” asking for ‘soulcakes’. Later evolved into a form of bribery in order to avoid pranks.
JACK-O’-LANTERN: In ancient Ireland the first jack-o’-lanterns were made of turnips, beets or hollowed-out potatoes to represent a lost soul carrying a coal from hell.
BOBBING-FOR-APPLES: Scottish ritual for young people to determine future spouses. A name was stuck to each apple.

Home is where the haunt is!

Today’s Question: 2 out of 5 grown men say they still do THIS regularly.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Play an instrument they learned as a kid.

Good enough never is.

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