Friday, October 27, 2006        Edition: #3396
We’ve Gone Bullistic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY another hearing is scheduled in Malawi in a lawsuit by human rights groups challenging the government’s decision to allow Madonna to adopt a 13-month-old boy (the kid’s in Britain now – what’s the point?) . . . TODAY through Halloween, the 2nd “Vegoose Festival” parties throughout Las Vegas with performances by the Killers, the Raconteurs, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Widespread Panic, the Black Crowes and Fiona Apple, among others (main show is SATURDAY & SUNDAY at Sam Boyd Stadium) . . . THIS WEEK stage performances of the musical “Mary Poppins” in both London’s West End and on NYC’s Broadway had to be cancelled mid-show due to unrelated technical difficulties – within 5 hours of each other (spooky!) . . . After she was recently photographed wearing an engagement ring in Florence, Italy, Brit model Kate Moss has now confirmed it’s true – she’s planning to wed rehabbed rocker Pete Doherty (time to get some new eyeglasses, hon) . . . Meantime, fellow UK model Naomi Campbell has been released on bail, but must report back to a cop shop NEXT WEEK regarding an alleged ‘scratching’ assault on her drug counsellor (for those keeping score – it’s the 4th former employee to claim she assaulted them) . . . Just-released court documents show that David Hasselhoff claims his ex-wife Pamela Bach was ‘intoxicated or on drugs’ at their daughter’s sweet-16 party and repeatedly accused him in front of their children of cheating with the family’s nanny (what a delightful couple) . . . And “Grey’s Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington has now publicly apologized for remarks he made during his infamous on-set altercation with co-star Patrick Dempsey and claims he’s also personally apologized to everyone involved (now there’s a guy who knows when his meal ticket’s on the line!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beck – TOMORROW he’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by TV actor Hugh Laurie (“House”).
• Clay Aiken – TONIGHT he performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Dixie Chicks – TUESDAY they attended the NYC premiere of the new documentary about them, “Shut Up and Sing”. It opens in limited release TODAY.
• Duran Duran – The UK classic rock act has announced that guitarist Andy Taylor is once again leaving the band, just as he did in 1985. They’ll continue to tour without him.
• JoJo – TODAY she performs “Too Little Too Late” on the “Megan Mullally Show” (syndicated).
• Michael Jackson – He & his kids are reportedly now living in the Four Seasons Hotel in Dublin, Ireland, a fact discovered after they had to register with the Garda Immigration Bureau.
• My Chemical Romance – The track “Mama” on their new album “The Black Parade” features (huh?) Liza Minnelli! She was apparently convinced to do the cameo by Madonna’s publicist Liz Rosenberg.
• Outkast – Andre 3000 will co-star with Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson & Ray Liotta in “The Battle in Seattle”, a bigscreen drama set against the 1999 World Trade Organization meeting.
• Rolling Stones – Legendary film director Martin Scorsese will be following them around with a camera crew at 2 shows at NYC’s Beacon Theatre SUNDAY and TUESDAY. He’ll piece the footage together with other snippets from the “Bigger Bang Tour” for a documentary.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Catch a Fire” ( PG-13 Historical Drama ): Set in South Africa during the final days of apartheid, Derek Luke stars as a new member of the African National Congress who volunteers for a dangerous one-man mission. Tim Robbins and newcomer Bonnie Mbuli co-star. The title is from the first major album by Bob Marley & the Wailers. Trailer here …
NET: http://www.workingtitlefilms.com/film.php?filmID=94
• “Saw III” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): In this latest sequel, serial killer ‘Jigsaw’ (Tobin Bell) kidnaps a doctor to help keep him alive while his new apprentice puts another victim through a vicious test. Some of Bell’s actual blood was mixed with ink for use on promotional posters. A “3rd Annual Blood Drive” is being held in conjunction with the film’s opening. This 3rd installment was greenlighted as soon as “Saw II” opened to $37 million LAST OCTOBER. Shot entirely in Toronto. Creepy SFX and clips here …
NET: http://www.saw3.com/

PLUGGED IN:
More people are going online for entertainment, according to a new survey by the business trade group, the Conference Board. The quarterly ‘Consumer Internet Barometer’ finds that 68% of 10,000 households surveyed are online, with more than 66% logging on daily for entertainment content. About 10% of online households watch TV broadcasts online, mostly news. More than 25% say they catch up on TV programs and view previews, sports or entire episodes. (Within 5 years, we’ll be watching what we want, when we want. But first we’ll need to buy some new computer-TV hybrid that won’t be compatible with anything that came before.)
– “USA Today”

FULL FACE-OFF:
A UK team has been given permission to carry out what will likely be the world’s first full face transplant. Team leader Peter Butler at London’s Royal Free Hospital says no patient has yet been selected for the procedure, although his team has already been approached by about 30 wannabes. Last NOVEMBER, Isabelle Dinoire from France became the first to receive a partial face transplant. She had her nose, lips and chin torn off after being mauled by the family dog. (Which famous person needs this most? Chelsea Clinton? Keith Richards?)
– BBC News

THE ’80S GREATEST HITS:
According to a new online survey which received 44,000 votes …
5. “When Doves Cry”, Prince
4. “Billie Jean”, Michael Jackson
3. “Hungry Like the Wolf”, Duran Duran
2. “Pour Some Sugar on Me”, Def Leppard
1. “Livin’ on a Prayer”, Bon Jovi
– VH1

WOMEN VS MEN:
• Who’s more honest? A recent survey shows more men steal office supplies (71% of men vs 61% women), fudge tax returns (24% vs 15%) and illegally download music (43% vs 35%). Women are more likely to lie to the boss about a sick day (64% women vs 58% men); fib about the cost of a new purchase (34% women vs 25% men); and lie to spare another person’s feelings (74% women vs 65% men). “Those pants don’t make your butt look big, honest!”
• Who wakes up on the wrong side of bed? A new survey by the Sleep Council reveals that 14% of women say that they NEVER wake up grumpy, compared to 24% of men. 13% of women say they remain in a bad mood for 2-to-4 hours afterward. Why? Almost a third of women blame their partner’s snoring for their inability to get enough sleep.
• Who looks bad in photos? A new survey finds fully 88% of us dislike how we look in photographs. Even more interesting, nearly half of men and over two-thirds of women also dislike how their partner looks. 5% of women even claim they make their partners wear makeup. But then, that’s likely because 5% of the partners are also women.

PRESIDENTIAL PRIZE:
Mo Ibrahim, the Chairman of Celtel International, has announced a proposal to reward African governance with a prize called the ‘Mo Ibrahim Prize for Achievement in African Leadership’. The award, which would be the world’s largest, would give Africa’s most successful leaders $5 million over 10 years when they leave office, and then $200,000 a year for life. The aim is to remove corruption and improve governance. The idea has been lauded by the likes of Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton. (What a concept – guaranteed graft!)
– “GQ”

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … cannabis can ease the severity of post-eating stomach cramps. (Ironically caused by over-eating during a case of the ‘munchies’. What a vicious cycle this promises to be!)
• Scientists say … women’s breasts are getting bigger. That’s the up-front news from a new study carried out by an Australian bra manufacturer. (At last, a positive outcome from all those growth hormones pumped into the animals we eat!)
• Scientists say … heavy use of cellphones (4 hours or more a day) may damage men’s fertility, according to new research from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio. (If you’re on the phone that much, you don’t have time for anything else anyway.)

BILINGUAL MADE EASY:
A new device created by researchers at Pittsburgh PA’s Carnegie Mellon University may help people have bilingual conversations. Users simply silently mouth a word in their own language for it to be translated and read out in another. The system is not yet fully accurate, but works well using a small vocabulary of about 100-200 words. Here’s how it works: Electrodes are attached to the neck and face to detect the movements that occur as the person mouths words and phrases. The system is then able to translate the words into another language which is read out by a synthetic voice. (Practical use: figuring out what Cardinal catcher Yadier Molina is saying when he trots out to the mound.).
– “New Scientist”

TAKING THE PRIZE:
In a time of information overload, it seems our tastes in pop culture are being increasingly being created for us by prize juries and award ceremonies. The evidence?. Noted architect Frank Gehry has now won 130 ‘awards’. Novelist John Updike has won 39. And disgraced pop star Michael Jackson has more than 240 of them. But the proliferation of prizes is perhaps greatest in the movie industry, where there are now twice as many cinema prizes (about 9,000) as there are feature films produced in a year. (We once won ‘Best Show Prep With an Edible Animal in It’s Name’.)
– “London Observer”

BS AMAZING FAKE FACT:
Kim Jong Il scored 11 holes-in-one in his 1st-ever round of golf, according to his official North Korean biography.

AND WE QUOTE:
• “As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m even more meticulous with my lovemaking.”
– Diddy, apparently trying to score again now that he has a #1 album for the first time since 1997.
• “I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense. Once you make it through that, then you’re good.”
– Kevin Federline, apparently revealing how he developed the nerve to perform in public.

THE BULL SHEET 10.27.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [67] John Cleese, Weston-Super-Mare UK, movie actor (“Shrek 2”)/former TV comedian (“Monty Python”)

1958 [48] Simon LeBon, Bushey UK, classic rock singer (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”)

1967 [39] Scott Weiland, Santa Cruz CA, rock singer (Velvet Revolver-“Slither”, Stone Temple Pilots-“Plush”)/rehab veteran

1984 [22] Kelly Osbourne, London UK, TV personality (“The Osbournes” 2002-04)/pseudo-’singer’ (“Papa Don’t Preach”)/daughter of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne

SATURDAY –
World’ wealthiest Bill Gates (Microsoft) is 51; Movie actress Julia Roberts (“Pretty Woman”) is 39; Country singer Brad Paisley (“She’s Everything”) is 34; Movie actor Joaquin Phoenix (“Walk the Line”) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Richard Dreyfuss (“The Goodbye Girl”) is 59; Pop musician Peter Timmins (Cowboy Junkies) is 41; Movie actress Winona Ryder (“Girl Interrupted”) is 35.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are.
• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery!
• “Frankenstein Friday”, always the Friday before “Halloween”. Why? Well why not?
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, in honor of Teddy Roosevelt’s birthday (1858), namesake of the ‘Teddy Bear’. Ask listeners what animals they have saved from their childhood, where they keep them … and what they do with them.

SATURDAY –
• “Chocolate Day”. North Americans collectively eat over 100 lbs of chocolate … every second!
• “Make a Difference Day”, a day set aside to help others, whether it be spending quality time with someone who needs company or volunteering in the community.
NET: http://www.usaweekend.com/diffday/
• “Statue of Liberty Day@ in America, honoring the day in 1886 when the Statue of Liberty was dedicated. The statue was designed by Frederic Auguste Bartholdi and was a gift to the US from France.

SUNDAY –
• “Basketball Coaches Day”, honoring those dedicated people who teach us to dribble & shoot.
• “Daylight Saving Time” ends (except in Saskatchewan where it never started) and “Standard Time” returns officially at 2 am. Don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour (remember: ‘Spring forward, Fall back’). Hey, it’s a long weekend!
• “Hermit Day”, a salute to the solitary lifestyle … whether or not you planned on living it.
• “International Internet Day”, observing the 37th anniversary of the 1st connection on what would become the ‘Internet’. On October 29, 1969 bits of data flowed between computers at UCLA and the Stanford Research Institute. Within a year, 10 sites were connected and there were soon several applications, such as e-mail.
• “Laugh a Lot Suddenly For No Reason Day” … just before they lock you up in a padded room.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901 [105] 1st ‘Boxer Shorts’ introduced (and the argument begins … boxers or briefs?)

1991 [15] 1st ‘Planet Hollywood’ restaurant officially opens (part-owners Bruce Willis & Arnold Schwarzenneger do the honors)

1998 [08] Conrad Black launches new national newspaper, “The National Post”

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Devils Night/Mischief Night
[Tues] Halloween
[Tues] National Magic Day
[Tues] Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
[Tues] UNICEF Day
[Wed] Vegan World Day
[Thurs] 7th Latin Grammy Awards (NYC)
This Week is … Magic Week
This Month Is … Communicate With Your Kid Month

BULL’S BITS

ALL-TIME TOP ‘SCREAM QUEENS’:
The best fright-film females and the movies that made them famous …
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt (“I Know What You Did Last Summer”)
4. Anna Faris (“Scary Movie”)
3. Jessica Biel (“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”)
2. Sarah Michelle Gellar (“The Grudge”)
1. Jamie Lee Curtis (“Halloween”)
– UndergroundOnline

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most inventive Halloween costume you ever made?

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• We are taught to always drive with our hands at the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock positions on the steering wheel. Now that Daylight Saving Time is ending, does that mean we should drive with our hands at 9 and 1 until Spring?
• Poor Paul McCartney. He’s divorcing a one-legged former prostitute who accuses him of wife-beating yet he’s still considered ‘the boring one’ out the Lennon-McCartney team.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The main time for THIS to happen is Fridays at 4 pm.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pizzas to be ordered.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is not permanent … neither is failure.


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