Friday, October 20, 2006        Edition: #3391
You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Extreme Makeover” is back on TV (ABC), the one where people, not houses, get reconstructive surgery (hopefully the crews don’t get mixed up and accidentally shingle some bald guy! NET: http://abc.go.com/primetime/extrememakeover/) . . . SATURDAY website MySpace is hosting 20 “Rock for Darfur” concerts in 20 different cities to raise awareness & money for humanitarian relief in Sudan, including Switchfoot in Boise ID; Alice in Chains in Winston-Salem NC; The Fray in Toronto; Jars of Clay in Minneapolis MN; TV on the Radio in Philadelphia PA; and Insane Clown Posse in St Petersburg FL (NET: http://www.myspace.com/rockfordarfur) . . . TONIGHT & Saturday at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider hosts a Halloween-inspired show called “Van Helsing’s Curse”, alongside an 18-piece gothic rock orchestra (NET: http://tinyurl.com/uf7ok) . . . SUNDAY the annual “Western Canadian Music Awards” are handed out at the Burton Cummings Theatre in  Winnipeg, including a 2006 WCMA Hall of Fame induction for legendary Winnipeg band Harlequin (NET: http://www.westerncanadianmusicawards.ca/) . . . Contrary to movie industry buzz, actor-turned-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will NOT appear in the upcoming sequel “Terminator 4” – not even in a cameo role – according to scriptwriter Michael Ferris (darn, another lost opportunity to mercilessly mock!) . . . Pamela Anderson & new hubby Kid Rock are apparently trying for a baby as hard as they can (eww, what do you figure that offspring will look like?) . . . According to inside sources, Italian designer Georgio Armani has put together 5 different outfits for Katie Holmes to wear at various events taking place on her wedding weekend (which may or may not be happening sometime soon) . . . OJ Simpson is reportedly being paid a whopping $3.5 million to write a ‘hypothetical book’ about the murders of his wife Nicole Brown Simpson & her friend Ron Goldman, which is tentatively being titled “If I Did It” . . . And former “Saved by the Bell” star Dustin Diamond (‘Screech’) has dropped a lawsuit to block a leaked 40-minute private videotape of him & 2 women, and decided to instead – take a cut of the profits (Quote: “I can spend a fortune fighting this … or I can try and make a fortune!”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• James Blunt – He’s slamming reports that he & Petra Nemcova have split up. Quote: “I’m a very lucky man to be with Petra and that’s all I need to say.” Not since The Cars’ Ric Ocasek wooed Paulina Porizkova has an uglier singer hooked up with a hotter model.
• JoJo – TONIGHT she performs “Too Little Too Late” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel)
• Lloyd Banks – TONIGHT he’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Ludacris – TONIGHT the “Money Maker” does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• My Chemical Romance – TOMORROW the UK chart-topping act (“Welcome to the Black Parade”) is the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor John C Reilly (“Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”).
• Neil Young – SATURDAY & Sunday, his 20th annual “Bridge School Benefit Concerts” in Mountain View CA include performances by Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters. The Bridge School teaches students with severe speech and physical impairments.
• Paul McCartney – Court documents filed by estranged wife Heather Mills claim that he choked her, poured wine on her, cut her with a broken wine glass, and forbid her to breastfeed their child. McCartney’s lawyers say he will  vigorously defend himself against the allegations.
• Sara Evans – Alison Clinton, the former nanny alleged to be ‘the other woman’ in this increasingly nasty divorce case, is offering to take a lie detector test to set the record straight. Clinton claims Evans suffered ‘an exhaustion breakdown’ last December.
• Sarah McLachlan – TODAY she guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Flags of Our Fathers” ( R-Rated Historical Drama ): Ryan Phillippe stars in this Clint Eastwood-directed epic that tells the story behind the iconic Joe Rosenthal photo of soldiers raising the US flag over Iwo Jima, one of the defining moments of WW2. The cast includes Manitoba-raised actor Adam Beach, and Campbell River BC native Barry Pepper. The script was co-authored by Oscar-winner Paul Haggis, who hails from London ON. Jared Leto turned down a key role in order to commit time to his band, 30 Seconds to Mars. Partially shot in Iceland, of all places, because the Japanese government would not permit the filming of combat scenes on Iwo Jima.
NET: http://www.flagsofourfathers.com/
• “Flicka” ( PG Family Drama ): Country singer Tim McGraw stars as a rancher whose daughter (Alison Lohman) claims a wild horse as her own much to his dismay. It’s part of her plan to convince him she should someday take over the family ranch. PETA is less than thrilled that 2 wild horses accidentally died during production. Buzz has it McGraw’s hair looks rather obviously fake. Trailer and music clips here …
NET: http://www.flickamovie.com/
• “Marie Antoinette” ( PG-13 Biographical Drama ): Kirsten Dunst has the title role in director Sofia Coppola’s stylized account of the naive Viennese girl who, at the age of 19, became the queen of France in the 18th century. The production was granted access to France’s venerable Palace of Versailles. The soundtrack includes tunes by the Cure, Bow Wow Wow, the Strokes, and Siouxsie & the Banshees. Clips here …
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/marieantoinette/
• “The Prestige” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Christian Bale & Hugh Jackman play rival magicians who are bent on destroying one another’s lives in turn-of-the-20th-century London. Scarlett Johansson plays a crafty assistant and supplies the eye candy. Co-stars Michael Caine, and David Bowie as inventor/physicist Nikolai Tesla, who teaches the illusionists some devious tricks. Theme music and trailer here …
NET: http://theprestige.movies.go.com/
• “The Nightmare Before Christmas” [3-D version]  ( PG Animated Family ): A refurbished version of Tim Burton’s 1993 film about the pumpkin king of ‘Halloween Town’ who stumbles into ‘Christmas Town’ and is so taken with the idea of Christmas that he tries to introduce it back home … but it doesn’t quite work out. Burton promises the 3-D glasses you’ll need to wear will look more cool than klutzy, resembling Ray-Bans. Theme and trailer here …
NET: http://adisney.go.com/disneypictures/nightmare/index.html

STINKING DRUNK:
Russian women are facing a winter without perfume because of a government crackdown on bootleg alcohol. The beauty biz has been in chaos since the introduction of a licensing requirement for goods containing more than 1.5% alcohol. The rule, which is intended to regulate the booze industry and curb alcohol abuse, has left many cosmetics companies unable to produce or import perfume and other alcohol-containing products. Government ministers have promised to amend the law, but this is unlikely to come into effect before Christmas, creating a shortage until then. (Russian women now not only strong like ox … also smell like ox.)
– “GQ”

DESIGNER WATER:
A Hollywood writer/producer is filling the void of style in bottles of water with ‘Bling H2O’ – at $35 a pop! Kevin G Boyd, who counts “The Jamie Foxx Show” among his TV credits, says he decided to create fashionable bottles of water after noticing many celebrities using them as style accessories. Each $35 bottle is handcrafted with Swarovski crystals. (Some people really do have too much money.)
– TMZ.com

BUTTER ELBOWS:
THIS WEEK Las Vegas billionaire casino owner & developer Steve Wynn (Bellagio, Wynn Las Vegas) damaged “La Reve”, a Picasso painting he paid $48.4 million for, by accidentally poking a 2-inch hole through it … with his elbow. He was planning to sell the piece to art collector Steven Cohen for $139 million. His response to the incident: “Oh sh–, look what I’ve done.” Wynn, who has retinitis pigmentosa, an eye disease affecting peripheral vision, plans to repair the coin-sized hole. Obviously, the deal fell through. (“And over here is my priceless Ming vase … oops!”)
– Ananova News

ADDICTED ONLINE:
More than 1 in 8 adults show signs of being addicted to the Internet in a new study. The so-called ‘addicts’ show evidence of compulsive Internet use, habitually checking e-mail, websites and chatrooms. The profile of the typical addict is a single, white-collar male in his 30s, who spends more than 30 hours a week on ‘non-essential’ computer use. More than 8% of the more than 2,500 people questioned admit that they hide their Internet use from their partners, and 6% say their cyberspace activity has adversely affected their relationships with others. (The reason for all of this can be summed up in 4 words: babes in the buff.)
– Reuters

STORES FOR GUYS:
Just-for-men stores are increasingly popping up on the retail scene. Chicago boutique TK Men, for instance, is outfitted with a pool table and wireless Xbox, and decorated with vintage “Playboy” magazine pin-ups. The new trend is a reaction to traditional mall stores that are geared mainly toward women. So how do you gear a store to men? Experts say bold graphics, simple displays, and wide aisles are important. And of yeah … men don’t like to be barraged by sales clerks either. (A help-yourself beer keg is also a bonus.)
– “Chicago Tribune”

IN THE DUGOUT:
People dying to keep their ashes in an urn adorned with the logo of their favorite Major League Baseball team will be able to do so, starting Opening Day 2007. Eternal Image of Farmington Hills MI is rolling out a new line of funeral urns emblazoned with team insignias, starting with all four 2006 championship series teams – Detroit Tigers, NY Mets, Oakland A’s and St Louis Cardinals. More teams will follow, and for those who prefer to be buried rather than cremated, the company plans to debut a corresponding line of MLB caskets around the time of NEXT YEAR’s “World Series”.
NET: http://www.eternalimage.net/
PHONER: 410.430.9705 (Robbie Tarpley Raffish, PR)
– UPI

FLY DETECTOR:
Travelers through Russia may soon find themselves subjected to a lie detector test. The technology will first be tested at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport. Would-be passengers will be asked to hold the handset of a ‘Truth Verifier’ while they are asked the following 4 questions …
• What is your full identity?
• Have you ever lied to the authorities?
• Are you carrying weapons?
• Are you carrying narcotics?
The machine’s manufacturer claims it can distinguish between answers given from memory and answers given ‘by imagination’. (Just hope the one you get doesn’t have the optional 100,000-volt Taser attachment.)
– “Globe & Mail”

AND WE QUOTE:
“Lord, if in an unsober state, and under the influence of those around me, I say something stupid, please give me strength to retract my words.”
– An excerpt from a new prayer book released by a Catholic monk in Poland, who must have partied hardy as a young man.

THE BULL SHEET 10.20.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [56] Tom Petty, Gainesville FL, classic rock singer (“Free Falling”)

1958 [48] Viggo Mortensen, NYC, movie actor (“A History of Violence”, “Lord of the Rings”)

1971 [35] Snoop Dogg (Cordozar Calvin Broadus), Long Beach CA, rap artist (“Signs”, “Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/movie actor (“Old School”)

SATURDAY –
TV judge Judy Sheindlin (“Judge Judy”) is 64; Movie actress/author Carrie Fisher (“Star Wars”) is 50; Rock singer/bassist Nick Oliveri (Queens Of The Stone Age) is 35.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Christopher Lloyd (“Back to the Future”) is 68; Movie actor Jeff Goldblum (“Jurassic Park”) is 54; Country singer Shelby Lynne (“Killin’ Kind”) is 38; Reggae rapper Shaggy (“It Wasn’t Me”) is 38.

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Brandied Fruit Day”. Yeehaw, let’s hear it for booze with a pit!

SATURDAY –
• “Babbling Day”, a day of tolerance for those who run off at the mouth … unless they’re on-the-air.
• “Diwali”, the Hindu ‘Festival of Lights’ that lasts 5 days. During this time, homes are thoroughly cleaned and windows are opened to welcome ‘Laksmi’, goddess of wealth. Candles and lamps are lit as a greeting. Gifts are exchanged and festive meals are prepared.
• “Reptile Day”, a day of cold-blooded appreciation.

SUNDAY –
• “Barber Day”, honoring the scissor-handed folks who run clip joints.
• “Celebrate Songwriters Week” in Nashville TN through October 28th. ASCAP & the Nashville Songwriters Foundation host the annual awards and ‘Songwriters Hall of Fame’ induction SUNDAY & MONDAY.
• “Holy See Day” in Vatican City, the tiny country’s national day.
• “Mother-In-Laws Day”, an annual observance on the 4th Sunday in October.
• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all – it’s a legume. Definition of a nut – “A hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed.”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1962 [44] Halloween classic “The Monster Mash” by Bobby ‘Boris’ Picket & the Crypt Kickers hits #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1818 [188] 49th parallel established as western Canada-US border

1865 [141] Ottawa becomes capital of Canada

1928 [78] Republican party 1st makes election promise of “a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage” (and WMD in every evil empire)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1968 [38] Likely the ‘Largest Ever Pre-Nuptial Agreement’ as Jackie Kennedy weds Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis after signing 173-PAGE deal that includes a guarantee of separate bedrooms

1993 [13] Toronto and Philadelphia set MLB records for longest (4:14) and highest-scoring (29) World Series game (Blue Jays finally win 15-14)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Canned Food Day
[Mon] TV Talk Show Host Day
[Tues] Ramadan ends (Muslim)
[Tues] United Nations Day
[Tues] Bologna Day
[Wed] World Pasta Day
[Wed] Cartoonists Against Crime Day
[Wed] International Greasy Foods Day
This Week Is … Kraut Sandwich Week
This Month Is … Family History Month

BULL’S BITS

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Justin Timberlake – “My Love”
4. Pussycat Dolls – “Buttons”
3. Jibbs – “Chain Hang Low”
2. Justin Timberlake – “SexyBack”
1. Ciara  – “Get Up”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Always glad to share my ignorance … I’ve got plenty.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who would you like to see killed off on “Desperate Housewives”? (We say ‘Edie’, hands down.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Over 50% of THESE happen on a Friday.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bank robberies.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


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