Thursday, October 12, 2006        Edition: #3385
Ahhh, Some BS to Look Forward to in the Morning!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT on  “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” (CBS/CTV), Kevin Federline connects with his inner thespian by guest-starring as an arrogant teen who hassles the investigators as they work, in an episode entitled “Fannysmackin’” (we can only hope his gets whacked) . . . THIS WEEK a long-simmering feud on the set of “Grey’s Anatomy” broke out into fisticuffs as Isaiah Washington (‘Dr Preston Burke’) attacked Patrick Dempsey (‘Dr Derek Shepherd’) and put him in a choke-hold after an argument about cast members being late for a scene (you’d think ‘McDreamy’ would be grappling with ‘McSteamy’) . . . Actress Katie Holmes has reportedly chosen a Karl Lagerfeld-designed Chanel gown to wear for her impending wedding to Tom Cruise during her well-documented recent shopping excursions in Paris with pal Victoria Beckham (aka her handler) . . . THIS WEEK and next, Fred Dalton Thompson, the guy who plays the District Attorney on “Law and Order”, is filling in for Paul Harvey on his “Rest of the Story” radio bits (in related news, Paul Harvey recently turned 137-years-old) . . . If “Battlestar Galactica” producer David Eick has his way, “The Bionic Woman” will be coming back as a series for NBC-TV (the original, starring Lindsay Wagner as the spare-parts superheroine, ran from 1976-78) . . . Donny Osmond is coming back to TV, for a pilot at least, a CBS-TV re-working of the vintage TV game show “Name That Tune” (it’s already run in various incarnations from 1953-77) . . . 48-year-old Ellen DeGeneres has decided it’s time to formalize her relationship with 33-year-old Portia de Rossi but since gay marriage is not legal in California, the ‘wedding’ NEXT JUNE will be symbolic and not legally binding (you can be the $15-million-per-year talk show host will want a pre-nup anyway) . . . Apparently talk is not cheap as Ellen DeGeneres is moving into a  $16.9-million 1926 Spanish Colonial house on 4 acres in the hills of upscale Montecito CA (Oprah Winfrey lives nearby in a hovel she bought in 2001 for – $50 million!) . . . And a vial of blood from “Saw” actor Tobin Bell (‘Jigsaw’) has been mixed with ink to make a limited-edition run of movie posters for “Saw III” (opening OCTOBER 27th), which will be sold for $20 and proceeds donated to – the Red Cross (creepy!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Chingy – TODAY he’s a guest on both the “Ellen DeGeneres Show (syndicated/CityTV) and “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Diddy – He’s set to appear in an upcoming Burger King ad campaign. Financial terms have not been disclosed.
• Jay-Z – Chinese officials have canceled his scheduled concert in Shanghai later THIS MONTH due to his ‘vulgar lyrics’.
• Jimmy Buffett – THIS morning he’s on the “Today Show” (NBC). They’re in ecstasy!
• Johnny Cash – His estate has authorized a prepaid MasterCard (basically a debit card) that features his signature and image. There are 5 different photos to pick from.
• Madonna – She has adopted a 1-year-old Malawian boy whose mother died a month after childbirth, according to the toddler’s father. The lad’s given name is apparently ‘David’. If it’s true, you can bet that will be the first thing the mother of ‘Lourdes’ and ‘Rocco’ will change.
• Montgomery Gentry – TONIGHT they kick off the “It Takes All Kinds” tour in Ozark, Alabama with rotating support acts that include Phil Vassar, Little Big Town, and The Wreckers.
• Nick Lachey – TODAY he continues his gimme pity tour on “The View” (ABC).
• Pink – While working outdoors on the video for her next single “Nobody Knows” in London’s East End, she was forced to run for cover when boozed-up bystanders clashed with a gang of youths. Chairs and equipment were reportedly tossed all over the set, shutting down production.
• Rod Stewart – TONIGHT the wrinkle rocker is on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) to flog his new album “Still The Same … Great Rock Classics Of Our Time”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Bobby” – The Kennedy clan has given its seal of approval to the upcoming Robert Kennedy bio-pic written & directed by Emilio Estevez. The film revisits the night RFK was shot at LA’s Ambassador Hotel in 1968. Unknown actor Dave Fraunces plays ‘Senator Kennedy’, with a stellar supporting cast that includes Laurence Fishburne, Demi Moore, Martin Sheen, Christian Slater, Sharon Stone, Elijah Wood, Heather Graham, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Hunt, Ashton Kutcher, Lindsay Lohan & William H Macy. That’s some payroll! It opens in limited release NOVEMBER 17th.
• “Evan Almighty” – The bigscreen follow-up to “Bruce Almighty” is on track to become the most expensive comedy of all-time even though Jim Carrey & Jennifer Aniston both declined to reprise their roles. The budget is expected to hit $250 million. Steve Carrell has stepped in to play a Congressman who’s contacted by the Almighty and told to build an ark in preparation for a great flood. The film’s due out next JUNE.
• “Untitled Jeanne Carmen Bio-Film” –  Catherine Zeta-Jones, Scarlett Johansson & Christina Aguilera have been short-listed as candidates for the saucy role of the ‘50s pin-up girl who was known as ‘Queen of the B-movies’. The beautiful blonde Marilyn Monroe look-alike who’s now 76-years-old was once ‘friends’ with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, and John F Kennedy.
• “Pope Joan” – German actress Franka Potente (“The Bourne Supremacy”, “The Bourne Identity”) has the title role in the upcoming film adapted from Donna Cross’ best-selling book. It chronicles the life of a 9th-century woman of English extraction who passes herself off as a boy and quickly climbs the religious ranks until she finally ascends to the papacy. Many historians support the veracity of the story. “The Da Vinci Code” has nothing on the controversy this one will cause when it comes out in 2008!

THE DATING DIPSTICK:
Scientists in Britain have developed a cocktail swizzle stick that detects so-called ‘date-rape’ drugs in drinks, then changes color when it finds them as a warning. (Now if they could just develop one that detects losers, women worldwide would be truly happy!)
– “New Scientist”

P-U:
44% of men, but just 22% of women claim they would tell a co-worker that they have a body odor problem, according to a recent survey. (And guys are so subtle … “By the way Chad, you stink!”)
– “Men’s Health”

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … money CAN buy happiness and even love. Researchers at Nottingham University have found that fully 97% of lottery jackpot winners surveyed were just as happy or happier after winning. As well, more of the winners were married after winning than before. It’s amazing how a few million makes you look less ugly.
• Scientists say … fat-free foods aren’t always more nutritious. According to a new study in the “Journal of Clinical Nutrition”, vegetables need to be eaten with oil, butter or a creamy dip in order for their beneficial cancer-fighting nutrients (lycopene, alpha- and beta-carotenes) to be absorbed by the human body. You also need something on ‘em in order to get your kids to eat ‘em.
• Scientists say … marijuana may lessen the effects of Alzheimer’s. Researchers in Madrid, Spain have found that an active ingredient in it reduces the inflammation associated with the disease and thus eases the symptoms. You feel better, but you still can’t remember how you got here or what your name is.
• Scientists say … chewing gum is good for you. Dentist Matthew Messina, a consumer adviser for the American Dental Association, says it doesn’t matter whether it’s sugar-free or not, gum causes us to salivate, and saliva is a buffering solution that washes the teeth. Sounds like somebody’s looking for more patients.

GAG ME WITH A SPOON:
It sounds gross but, according to at least some medical experts, the best way to cure bad breath is to turn a spoon upside down and scrape the back of your tongue. (I keep my scrapings in a mayo jar … here, look!)
– “Glamour”

A LIBRARIAN WITHOUT EYEGLASSES:
TODAY Chicago State University unveils its new ‘robotic library’. For the first time, the public will be able to view the $1.7-million system that can fetch a book in about 35 seconds after it’s requested via computer. Instead of traditional shelves, the library keeps its 850,000 books in rows of metal storage bins stacked 3-stories-high. When a student requests a book on the library computer, the robot, who’s been dubbed ‘Rover’ by the library staff, grabs it and drops it into a bin where an employee picks it up. (This will all appear very hi-tech until the entire library is downloadable on Google in about another week.)
– “Chicago Sun-Times”

COMFORT FOOD?
Out of more than 40,000 entries, Tasha Callister’s “Puttin’ on the Ritz” has won top prize in the “Ben & Jerry’s Do Us a Flavor Contest”. The Jacksonville FL girl‘s concoction involves chocolate-covered Ritz crackers, gooey caramel and vanilla ice cream. She and other finalists win a trip to the ice cream maker’s headquarters in Waterbury VT, ice cream for a year, and an ice cream party for family & friends. Ben & Jerry’s will create enough “Puttin’ on the Ritz” for the party but there are no plans so far to put the new flavor into production. (Likely ‘cause Ritz maker Nabisco would want a big cut of the action.)
– “Florida Times-Union”

THE AGONY OF DA FEET:
A recent study finds that up to 90% of women wear shoes that are too small and 75% of foot surgery performed on women is due to poor-fitting footwear. (Fashion tip – you just can’t beat the comfort of good ol’ gum boots.)
– “Health Magazine”

TRAILER PARK BOYS:
Astronauts have 15,000 cubic feet of living space inside the International Space Station, about the size of 15 mobile homes. The whole station weighs the equivalent of 100 mobile homes.
– “Christian Science Monitor”

THE BULL SHEET 10.12.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [71] Luciano Pavarotti, Modena, Italy, world’s most famous operatic singer (“The Three Tenors”)/recovering from surgery for pancreatic cancer

1935 [71] Sam Moore, Miami FL, oldies singer (Sam & Dave-“Soul Man”)

1947 [59] Chris Wallace, Chicago IL, TV news correspondent (“Fox News Sunday”)/son of legendary TV journalist Mike Wallace

1962 [44] Carlos Bernard, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Tony Almeida’ on “24” since 2001)

1968 [38] Hugh Jackman, Sydney, Australia, movie actor (“X-Men 1-3”)  COMING UP: Stars in the spinoff movie “Wolverine” (2008).

1969 [37] Martie Maguire (Martha Erwin), York PA, country singer/fiddle player (Dixie Chicks-“Everybody Knows”, “Landslide”)/sister of Dixie Chick Emily Robison

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work or School Day”. Why? So they can see where you go when you leave them all day. They miss you! The day celebrates the common teddy bear’s ability to relieve stress and bring happiness to people of all ages.
NET: http://www.iloveteddies.com/

• “Dia de la Raza” (‘Day of the Race’), observed in Mexico and throughout Latin America and celebrating Hispanics everywhere.

• “Farmers Day”, to honor all farmers and recognize all that they do.

• “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed.

• “World Egg Day”, to celebrate the many uses of chicken embryos.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [09] 53-year-old singer John Denver is killed when his home-built plane crashes into California’s Monterey Bay

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1872 [134] 1st game for ‘Montréal Foot Ball Club’ (an exciting 0-0 tie vs Québec City)

1901 [105] US ‘Executive Mansion’ renamed ‘The White House’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1972 [34] Pamela Ness of Kansas City MO belly dances for record 27 hours

1991 [15] BC Lions QB Doug Flutie breaks Warren Moon’s CFL record for yards passing in a season after 582-yard performance vs Edmonton

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] VQA Wine Day
[Fri] School Librarian Day
[Sat] Dessert Day
[Sat] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Sun] Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
This Week Is … American Beer Week (aka ‘Pony Piss Week’)
This Month Is … Seafood Month

BULL’S BITS

YOU KNOW WHAT BOTHERS ME?
THIS WEEK is “Pet Peeve Week”, a great opportunity to allow listeners to give voice to the little things that annoy them. You know, things like …
• You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
• The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
• There’s always a car riding your tail when you’re slowing down to find an address.
• You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
• It’s bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don’t realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
• Those one or two ice cubes that just refuse to pop out of the tray.
• You rub on hand cream, then can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
• The remote is way over there on top of the TV.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If money and time were no object, what would you be doing right now?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Q: Which country has the most area devoted to national parks – the USA, Australia or Canada?
A: Those countries are the top 3, in order.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I drove by the [local] nudist camp on the way home yesterday. They have a sign up that says ‘Sorry, Clothed for Winter’.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Wow, there are “30 Ways to Eat a Pumpkin”. Who knew?
NET: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/43189/30-ways-to-eat-a-pumpkin

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On an airplane men are 5 times more likely to do THIS than women.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Claim the armrest.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.


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