Monday, October 2, 2006        Edition: #3377
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

WEEKEND TABLOID BS & BLOG BITS:
• 34-year-old “Studio 60”star Amanda Peet wed 36-year-old screenwriter David Benioff on the weekend at Friends Seminary in NYC, the Quaker prep school that Peet attended. Evidently she liked their wedding bands so much, she passed them around so that every guest could  touch them. The couple is already expecting their first child.
– “Us Weekly”
• Insiders say 43-year-old actor Johnny Depp is finally set to wed his 8-year partner, 33-year-old French actress Vanessa Paradis. Although his rep denies it, plans are said to be in motion for a low-key ceremony NEXT SUMMER in their villa in Plan de la Tour, a village of just 2,400 in the south of France.
– “Star Magazine”
• “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria and NBA player Tony Parker have reportedly split, thanks to demanding careers and not living in same city. Though Longoria’s rep denies the report, it is admitted that they’re going through ‘a difficult time due to extremely demanding careers’.
– “People”
• “Esquire” magazine has named 21-year-old actress Scarlett Johansson the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ for 2006.
• Courtney Love’s drug recovery and musical comeback are the subject of a new documentary. A TV crew will chronicle her battle with drug abuse and follow her around as she records a new album, returns to acting, and rebuilds relationships.
– TuneLab
• Newly single actor Orlando Bloom, who recently ended his relationship with actress Kate Bosworth, has been spotted out on the town in LA looking cozy with Penelope Cruz a couple of times. Snitches at one club say Orlando even kissed Penelope’s hand ‘affectionately’.
– “Page Six”
• That coup in Thailand has interrupted Nicolas Cage’s new movie. Cage got a private jet and persuaded the producers of “Bangkok Dangerous” to send everybody home.
– PopBitch

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Big & Rich – YESTERDAY they performed the anthem before the Dallas Cowboys-Tennessee Titans NFL game.
• Billy Joel – He’s selling his Long Island estate that includes a 40,000-sq-ft house, 14 acres of property and 1,550 ft of shoreline on Oyster Bay. Asking price: $37.5 million! He bought it in 2002 for $22.5 million.
• Coldplay – They’re taking a hiatus from recording to concentrate on their families. Chris Martin says it may last as long as 5 years.
•  Evanescence – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• James Blunt – Mischa Barton is featured in his video “Goodbye My Lover”, but he admits he never saw her on “The OC”. In fact, he’s never seen the show period.
• Jet – They postponed weekend shows in Philadelphia and Toronto because lead singer Nic Cester has acute laryngitis. The dates will be rescheduled sometime in NOVEMBER.
• Jewel – She’s been signed to co-host the 5th season of “Nashville Star” (USA) with Cowboy Troy beginning JANUARY 11.
• John Mayer – TONIGHT he performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TONIGHT “The Bachelor 9: Rome” debuts (ABC), as Prince Lorenzo Borghese is tapped to give 25 love-hungry women a chance to become a real-life princess.
• Once he was a Backstreet Boy and now Nick Carter is entering the reality TV fray with “House of Carters” (E!). The premise: The singer recruits his 4 siblings (brother Aaron and their 3 sisters) to move into a house together and help them as they pursue their goals.

THE ILLUSION OF SAFETY:
A study by psychologist Dr Ian Walker at Britain’s Bath University has found that a cyclist is more likely to be hit by a car if he or she is wearing a helmet. The study found that drivers give more space to helmet-less cyclists when passing them on the road, but are more than twice as likely to pass within 8.5 cm (about 4 inches) of a cyclist wearing a helmet. The tests also found that drivers give cyclists who appear to be female an average of 14 cm (circa 6 inches) more space when passing. Walker concludes that helmets are useful in low-speed falls and for children, but don’t offer any real protection to somebody struck by a car.
– BBC

WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• Susan Kuhnhausen, a 51 year-old Oregon nurse, came home from work to find an intruder armed with a claw hammer. She not only managed to fight him off but actually strangled him with her bare hands. The dead man turned out not to be burglar … but a hit-man hired by her husband to kill her!
• An 80-year-old grandmother in India says she’s managed to stay healthy by eating … sand. Ram Rati says she considers sand an essential part of her daily diet and eats about a kilo of it per day.
• In Folkestone, England police are hunting a man who has been dressing up as a cute old granny so he can persuade women to let him give them a cuddle. Creepy!

CHEATERS PROSPERING:   
A new study shows that a large number of Canadian students cheat. The report to be published in the “Canadian Journal for Higher Education” finds that 18% of university students admit to cheating on tests, and fully 58% say they cheated in high school. When it comes to written assignments, 53% of university students say they have lifted parts, or all, of their papers from the Internet, or have turned in someone else’s work. The study also finds that a large number of instructors ignore suspected cheating because they think it would be too difficult to prove. Experts say the problem is a byproduct of increasing academic pressures and a lack of clarity about the use of material from the Internet.
– Canwest News

THE BRIDE WORE SIDEBURNS:
Over the weekend 2 Elvis Presley impersonators were wed during the annual “Porthcawl Elvis Festival” in Wales. Dave Smith & Ceri Richards were hitched in a Vegas-style ceremony. The best man was also an Elvis tribute act and an Elvis tribute act believed to be the world’s oldest read the vows. The couple was serenaded during the service by yet another fellow Elvis tribute act, Colbert Hamilton, known as ‘The Black Elvis’, who performed the “Hawaiian Wedding Song”. The festival is home to the “Elvies”, annual awards for Elvis impersonators.
– BBC

FUTURE TAIL-GATERS:
The way people behave as children can determine whether they will become dangerous drivers, according to an Australian psychology professor. Margot Prior of the University of Melbourne says that children as young as 5-years-old who show signs of aggression and hyperactivity are more likely to become risk-takers behind the wheel once they reach adulthood. Her finding comes after a 20-year study.
– “The Australian”

TOP BOTTOMS:
Hollywood’s best booty, the stars with the hottest junk in the trunk, according to a new magazine poll …
10. Jessica Alba
9. Eva Longoria
8. Jennifer Lopez
7. Scarlett Johansson
6. Tyra Banks
5. Halle Berry
4. Jessica Biel
3. Salma Hayek
2. Jessica Simpson
1. Beyoncé Knowles
– “In Touch”

FREE FLIGHT:
A UK businessman will be the first to use collected air miles to travel in space. 51-year-old Alan Watts of Harrow, England has flown 1st class with Virgin Atlantic to the US about 40 times in the past 6 years. That’s earned him some 2 million air miles, enough to pay for a $190,000 trip into space with Virgin Galactic. Billionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson has revealed that Watts will be among the first passengers when the space flights begin.
– Ananova

DID YOU KNOW?
• A baby born some time in OCTOBER will be the 300 millionth American.
• Each American produces about 5 pounds of trash daily.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Statistically speaking, driving on a MONDAY is nearly twice as safe as driving on a SATURDAY. (So odds are you’re gonna arrive alive for another day on the old treadmill.)

THE BULL SHEET 10.02.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [58] Donna Karan (Faske), Forest Hills NY, fashion designer (DKNY line of clothing)

1951 [55] Sting (Gordon Sumner), Newcastle Upon Tyne UK, rock musician (“Brand New Day”, Police-“Every Breath You Take”)/founded the ‘Rainforest Foundation’ in 1989

1954 [52] Lorraine Bracco, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (‘Dr Jennifer Melfi’, the shrink on “The Sopranos” since 1999)/ex-Mrs Edward James Olmos, ex-Mrs Harvey Keitel

1952 [54] Greg Jennings, Oklahoma City OK, country singer (Restless Heart-“When She Cries”)

1970 [36] Kelly Ripa, Stratford NJ, TV talk show co-host (“Live With Regis & Kelly” since 2001)/TV actress (“Hope & Faith” since 2003, “All My Children” 1990-2002)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Child Health Day”, observed annually on the 1st Monday in October.

• “Custodial Workers Day”, honoring those who clean up after the rest of us. Nicer names for ‘Janitor’ – ‘Caretaker’, ‘Maintenance Coordinator’, ‘Sanitation Engineer’, ‘Cleanliness Resource Supervisor’.

• “Name Your Car Day”. Polls show that about 15% of people have a pet name for their vehicle. What’s the best-named car model? Diablo? Lamborghini? Cayenne? Hummer?

• “World Farm Animals Day”, as declared by the ‘Farm Animal Reform Movement’, to memorialize the ‘needless suffering and death’ of billions of innocent farm animals each year. The date honors the birthday of Mahatma Gandhi, who was the world’s foremost champion of humane farming.

• “Yom Kippur”, the Jewish “Day of Atonement”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1946 [60] 1st daytime TV ‘Soap Opera’ (“The Faraway Hill”-DuMont Network)

1950 [56] Charles Schultz’s comic strip “Peanuts” (originally titled “Li’l Folks”) debuts in 9 newspapers, introducing the characters ‘Charlie Brown’, ‘Snoopy’, ‘Patty’ & ‘Sherman’ (even though Schultz is dead, “Peanuts Classics” are still published in over 2000 newspapers)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1961 [45] 1st ‘Pre-Moistened Hand Towel’ is introduced (what did moms do before ‘wipes’?)

1991 [15] 1st team in sports history to draw 4 million fans in a single season (Toronto Blue Jays, who also clinch AL East on this day)

1994 [12] 1st-ever NFL coach clash of father vs son as Miami Dolphins’ Don Shula defeats son and Cincinnati Bengal coach David by a score of 23-7

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [09] ‘World’s Shortest Man’, 22-inch-tall Gul Mohammed, dies at age 36 in New Delhi, India without achieving his dream of marrying a tall woman (like maybe a strapping 3-footer)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Toot Your Flute Day
[Wed] Universal Children’s Day
[Wed] World Habitat Day
[Thurs] Techies Day
[Thurs] World Teachers Day
[Fri] Chinese Moon Festival

THIS WEEK IS …
Mental Illness Awareness Week / Mystery Series Week / Carry A Tune Week / Nuclear Medicine Week / Newspaper Week / Work From Home Week / Squirrel Appreciation Week / Universal Children’s Week / California Ride Share Week / Financial Planning Week / 4-H Week / No Salt Week / Spinning & Weaving Week / Customer Service Week

BULL’S BITS

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT:
Psychiatrist Dr Leo Wollman is an expert on obesity and says the type of foods we yearn for carry a secret message about who we are. For instance …
• Ethnic foods – People who crave ethnic foods are sentimental and romantic and view the past with nostalgia.
• Desserts – Sweets appeal to people who want more than the normal amount of recognition. They are hard workers who do not get full credit for their efforts.
• Steaks and roasts – Beef-eaters are highly motivated, aggressive and value achievement and success. They like to take charge of things and always be in control.
• Cold, wet, slippery foods – Oysters, custards, gelatins and the like are craved by people with strong romantic inclinations and a big need for physical intimacy. These people have a lot of energy.
• Warm, soft, easy to digest foods – People who can’t resist hot breads, mashed potatoes and pancakes are sensitive, sympathetic and quick to side with the underdog. However, they find life in general to be somewhat threatening and are worriers.
• Chewy & crunchy foods – These are ‘angry foods’ that appeal to people who find it difficult to express their anger openly. On the surface they’re easy-going but inside they have pent up hostilities.
• Fresh foods – Fruits, greens and veggies are irresistible to people who are energetic, enthusiastic and want to live life to the fullest.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Oh the embarrassment one suffers when appearing in public with a bald baby! Thanks goodness someone had the sense to invent the ‘Baby Toupee’. It comes in several styles including the ‘Samuel L’ and ‘The Donald’, each with a soft fleece inner lining that fits 1-to-9-month-olds. The chance to take hilarious shots of junior in a wig will set you back about 25 bucks.
NET: http://www.babytoupee.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m trying to get into shape. The shape I’ve selected is pear.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the most annoying thing someone could do on a first date?
• Is there anything you can’t say ‘no’ to?
• What food could they not pay you enough to eat?
• If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
• What’s the most unusual thing you know how to do?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 65% of fathers refuse to let their children to touch THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The thermostat.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best place to look for a helping hand is on end of your own arm.


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