October 17 2019

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Thursday, October 17, 2019 – Edition: #6553

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Wheel of Fortune” had the greatest contestant introduction in the show’s history this week, after a guy named Blair Davis was asked by host Pat Sajak about his life. His response? “I’ve been trapped in a loveless marriage for the last 12 years to an old battle-ax named Kim. She cursed my life with three step-children named Star, RJ, and Ryan, and I have one rotten grandson.” Sajak pointed out that Davis was joking, and that he had told him earlier that he loves his family “like nobody’s business.”
-TheBlast
★ Jada Pinkett Smith is in talks to return for “The Matrix 4”. She portrayed the character ‘Niobe’ in “The Matrix Reloaded” and “Matrix Revolutions”. It has also been reported that Neil Patrick Harris has joined the impressive ensemble cast on the sci-fi blockbuster. The Matrix Trilogy kicked off in 1999 and the fourth film is scheduled for release in 2022, with shooting starting in early 2020.
-ContactMusic
★ Felicity Huffman reported to a federal prison in Northern California on Tuesday to start a 14-day sentence for her role in the massive college admissions scandal that rocked elite universities around the United States. She surrendered to authorities at the Federal Correctional Institution in Dublin, California. Huffman, a one-time Oscar nominee and the wife of actor William H. Macy, will also have to pay a fine of $30,000 and perform 250 hours of community service under the sentence handed down by U.S. District Judge Indira Talwani last month.
-NBCNews
★ HBO Max has ordered a spinoff of the 1978 musical “Grease” called “Grease: Rydell High.” Rydell High is the name of the high school that John Travolta’s Grease character Danny Zuko attended alongside Olivia Newton-John’s Sandy Olsson. The HBO Max series is still set in the 1950s and will feature both characters from the film and introduce new ones.
-TheWrap
★ Wendy Williams will be honored with the 2,677th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. Williams’ 30-year career in media includes her nationally syndicated TV talk show, and her work as a philanthropist, entrepreneur, and best-selling author.
-WalkofFame

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Paul Rudd, Lizzy Caplan, Tyler Childers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West, Winnie Harlow, Iggy Pop (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Joe Biden, Pixies (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Gwen Stefani, Bradley Whitford, Emily Spivey (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dominic Cooper, Jonathan Groff, Red Hearse (R)
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Dusty Slay, Vanessa Bayer, Guy Branum
• “Conan” (TBS): D’Arcy Carden (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Angela Kinsey, Jenna Fischer
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): James Spader
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jeremy Sisto, Blanco Brown
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hailee Steinfeld, Debby Ryan, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Scarlett Johansson, Alfie Allen
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Eva Mendes, Craig Morgan, Blake Shelton
• “Liberty: Mother of Exiles” (HBO): The history of the Statue of Liberty and its meaning to the people of this world.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Pharrell – says he looks back at one of his biggest hits, ‘Blurred Lines’, with much more clarity these days. Quote: “Some of my old songs, I would never write or sing today. I get embarrassed by some of that stuff. It just took a lot of time and growth to get to that place.”
• Harry Styles – was in court Monday after being stalked by a homeless man he tried to help. He told the judge that he felt “insecure” after receiving notes and money in his mailbox from a homeless man to whom he offered food. While Styles said that he tried to cut contact with the man, he allegedly saw him nearly every day and now checks for “weak spots” in his home.
• Avril Lavigne — is set next year to play her first shows in the UK in almost a decade. She wrapped her first North American tour in five years last week, and says that being on back on stage again has ”brought [her] so much happiness” after her long battle with Lyme Disease.
• Soundgarden – are among the nominees for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s Class of 2020. Also up for the honor are first-timers Dave Matthews Band, The Doobie Brothers, Motörhead, The Notorious B.I.G., Pat Benatar, T.Rex, Thin Lizzy, and Whitney Houston. Returning for another shot are Depeche Mode, MC5, Nine Inch Nails, Todd Rundgren, Kraftwerk and Rufus featuring Chaka Khan.
• Alice Cooper — has announced his spring 2020 tour plans. The 2020 leg of the “Ol’ Black Eyes Is Back” tour kicks off on April 1 in Peterborough, Ontario, with 14 shows running through April 22 in Portland, Oregon. These dates will feature special guest Lita Ford.
• Gary Glitter — The rights holders of his musical back catalogue have confirmed that he will not personally receive any royalties from the use of his song ‘Rock and Roll Part 2’ in the movie “Joker”. Some were concerned that Glitter, who is serving a 16-year jail term for sexual crimes against children, could be set to receive royalties reaching the six-figure mark from the use of the song in the film.
• Cam — is pregnant! She shared the news on social media in a video with her husband Adam Weaver, saying: “We’ve been keeping a secret to ourselves for the past seven months, but it’s time to let you guys in on it”, as the camera panned out to show her advanced pregnancy. The couple wed in 2016, and this will be their first child.
• Dolly Parton – recently said that if a biopic were ever made about her life and career, she hopes Scarlett Johansson plays her in the film. Now Johansson has chimed in, saying: “Those are big shoes to fill. Or, probably not. They are probably very tiny, dainty, sparkly, fabulous shoes.” (We’ll leave the obvious joke about “big cups to fill” up to you…)

PHONE-Y:
Here’s the latest way to get scammed, and listen up…it’s pretty creepy. The SIM splitting fraud (or port-out) allows criminals to hijack your cellphone number. Once they have that, they are able to clean out your bank accounts, grab your email, delete your data and take over your social media profiles. How so? Many companies, including banks, email providers and social media platforms, verify your identity by texting a code to your cellphone. If a bad guy has access to your SIM info, they have pretty much wide-open access to everything that you access via smartphone. How can you best avoid SIM splitting happening to you? Experts say you should ask your phone company to put a more secure personal identification number on your account, then see if you can switch to more secure authentication on your sensitive accounts.
(Fortunately, I do have an extra layer of security: An empty bank account!)
(Or do what my Mom does: Only use a landline and go to the bank to pay your bills!)
(Why can’t people just make prank phone calls anymore?)
-AP

SPACE ODDITY:
While the rest of us are still wondering if life exists on other planets, a former NASA scientist says they found life on Mars way back in the 1970s. Gilbert V. Levin, who was principal investigator on a NASA experiment that sent landers to Mars in 1976, has published an article in the Scientific American journal, arguing the experiment’s results were proof of life there. In the experiment, the Viking probes placed nutrients in Martian soil samples — if life were present, it would consume the food and leave gaseous traces of its metabolism, which radioactive monitors would then detect. Results came back positive. But other experiments failed to find any organic material, so NASA dismissed the positive results. As Levin points out, in the 43 years since, “None of NASA’s subsequent Mars landers carried a life detection instrument to follow up on these exciting results.” In 2018, NASA’s Curiosity rover found organic matter on Mars.
(“Consume the food and leave gaseous traces”? Apparently if we ever find Martians, they’ll be more like us than we thought!)
(If I were there, I’d be more interested in NOT finding life too!)
(They had their chance. ‘Opportunity lost’!)
-CNN

BANANA APPEAL:
An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but a banana a day might keep you out of the hospital. Researchers at the University of Alabama have found that eating bananas daily could help prevent heart attacks and strokes. Their study, which aimed to determine how the mineral potassium affects blood flow and artery health, examined mice who received a diet containing either low, normal, or high levels of potassium. Mice given a low-potassium diet had much harder arteries than their counterparts. Mice who received high levels of potassium, on the other hand, showed significantly less artery hardening and reduced stiffness in their aorta. Next, they plan to test the effects of a high-potassium diet on humans. The National Institute of Health recommends that adults consume about 3,500 mg of potassium per day. One banana contains about 358mg of potassium.
(Good thing they’re cheap!)
(Nice. They can train a mouse to eat a banana, and I can’t get my kids to eat one if their lives depended on it…which apparently they do!)
-ReadersDigest

SLANG TERMS THAT WE NEED TO BRING BACK:
⇒ Hurkle-Durkle:  200 years ago, this meant “To lie in bed, or to lounge after it is time to get up or go to work.” (I just had a few rooms full of hurkle-durkling teenagers this morning!)
⇒ Poke Bogey:  A 19th-century term for tricking someone. (Did they also go “Poke Bogey-or-Treating”?)
⇒ Lizzie Lice:  A 1930s term for a policeman who patrols in cars. (I’m sure they’d tell you that they’ve been called worse…)
⇒ Got the Pants:  A Victorian phrase meaning “panting from over-exertion.” (After you take the stairs, you get the pants!)
⇒ Peerie-Winkie:  ‘Peerie’ is an old Scottish word meaning “little,” and a ‘peerie-winkie’ is the little finger or toe.
⇒ Abstain from Beans:  As far back as the year 100, it meant “to desist from politics”. (Beans and politics do both tend to create a certain smell…)
⇒ Whooperups:  A Victorian term for “inferior, noisy singers”. (And they hadn’t even heard Miley Cyrus yet!)
-MentalFloss

DID YOU KNOW?
A Norwegian study of how men and women divided housework and childcare throughout various life stages found that the more household chores a man does, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce.
-MedicalDaily

BS CHRONOMETER 10.17.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [72] Michael McKean, New York City NY, TV actor (“Better Call Saul” 2015-18, “Laverne & Shirley” 1976-1983)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”) COMING UP…”Playing God”

1958 [61] Alan Jackson, Newnan GA, country singer (‘Don’t Rock the Jukebox’, ‘Chattahoochee’, w/Zac Brown Band-‘As She’s Walking Away’)

1959 [60] Norm MacDonald, Quebec City Canada, TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” 1993-2009, “The Middle” 2010-18″)/movie actor (“Billy Madison”) COMING UP…”The Beast, Heroes of the Wildfire”

1960 [59] Rob Marshall, Madison WI, movie director (“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”, 2002 Oscar-“Chicago”)/stage director-choreographer (“Cabaret”, “Damn Yankees”)

1968 [51] Ziggy Marley (David Marley), Trenchtown Jamaica, reggae singer (‘Tomorrow People’, ‘Love is My Religion’)/Son of Bob Marley

1969 [50] Wyclef Jean, Croix-des-Bouquets, Haiti, R&B/rap artist (w/Shakira-‘Hips Don’t Lie’, The Fugees-‘Killing Me Softly’)

1969 [50] Rick Mercer, St John’s NL, TV comic (“The Rick Mercer Report” 2004-18, “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” 1993-2001)/Governor General’s Performing Arts Award (2004)

1971 [48] Chris Kirkpatrick, Clarion PA, pop singer (*NSYNC-‘Bye Bye Bye’, ‘Pop’)

1972 [47] Eminem (Marshall Mathers III), St Joseph MO (raised Detroit MI), rapper (‘The Real Slim Shady’, ‘Lose Yourself’)/sometime movie actor (“8 Mile”)

1983 [36] Felicity Jones, Bournville UK, movie actress (“Theory of Everything”, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”) COMING UP…”Last Letter from Your Lover”

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pasta Day”, celebrating the Italian staple that’s popular worldwide. There are over 350 varieties of pasta in Italy. A typical Italian eats over 60 lbs. of the stuff per year.

• “Wear Something Gaudy Day”. (Well, nice to see [co-host] is dressed for the occasion!)

• “International Day for the Eradication of Poverty”, a UN observance since 1993. (How’s it workin’ so far?)

• “Mulligan Day”, a day to give yourself or someone else a do-over – a 2nd chance at something botched – like bad golfers give themselves. (***See today’s Phone Starter, below***)

• “Fossil Day”, an annual celebration held to highlight the scientific and educational value of paleontology and the importance of preserving fossils for future generations (Keep your ‘Rolling Stones’ jokes to yourself…)

• “Get to Know Your Customer Day”, a reminder about how important good customer service is for any business. (Observed the third Thursday in January, the third Thursday in April, the third Thursday in July, and the third Thursday in October…and if you don’t know your customers after all that, you never will!)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Chocolate Cupcake Day
[Fri] World Student Day
[Sat] Dress Like a Dork Day
[Sat] New Friends Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [07] Amidst controversy over his anti-doping scandal, former cycling champ Lance Armstrong resigns as chairman of LiveStrong, his anti-cancer charity

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2017 [02] Gord Downie, singer of The Tragically Hip, dies at 53 after a battle with brain cancer

2008 [11] Madonna & Guy Ritchie announce their 7-year marriage is over because they’ve drifted apart

2009 [10] Actor Johnny Depp presents the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards with the ‘Rock Immortal Award’ as part of the “Scream Awards”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [08] In New Mexico, Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson opens the world’s first commercial space port, “Spaceport America”

TODAY’S SECOND . . .
2018 [01] The sale of recreational cannabis becomes legal in Canada. Canada is the second country to do so, after Uruguay

TODAY’S RECORD ATTEMPT . . .
2008 [11] Iran’s attempt to create the world’s largest sandwich (1,500 metres) fails when crowds eat it before it can be measured

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear.
✓ Drying fruit depletes it of 30-80% of its vitamin and antioxidant content.
✓ It would take about 33 million people holding hands to form a ring around the equator.
✓ Mountain lions can whistle.
✓ A woman from California once tried to sue the makers of Cap’n Crunch, because the Crunch Berries contained “no berries of any kind.”
✓ In 2006 someone tried to sell New Zealand on eBay. The price got up to $3,000 before eBay shut it down.
-Livin3

BS RUINING ’80s MOVIES:
• Bored on the Fourth of July
• Pretty in Pinkeye
• Sistine Candles
• Desperately Reeking Susan
• The Princess Mail Order Bride
• The Brexit Club
• Ferris Bueller’s Laid Off
• Nightmare on Sesame Street
• Diet Hard
• Just do what Hollywood does – reboot it!
-Twitter

BS MILLENNIAL COUNTRY SONGS:
• Twerking 9 to 5
• Jesus Take the Uber
• To All the Tweets I’ve Liked Before
• All My Exes Send Me Texts
• I Fall to Pieces…When I Misplace my iPhone
• Craft Beer for My Horses
• Free Range Organic Chicken Fried
• She Thinks My Tractor’s Eco-Friendly and Sexy
• Save a Horse, Drive a Prius
• Before He Tweets
• Achy Breaky Heart Emoji
• I’ve Got Friends in Parent’s Basements
• A They Named Sue
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
Today is ‘Mulligan Day’. What embarrassing or regretful thing have you done that you would like to take a ‘mulligan’ on?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  2.7 million people still receive THESE in the mail. What are they?
Answer:  Netflix DVDs

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Everything you hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything you see is a perspective, not the truth.

 

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