Thursday, October 3, 2019 – Edition: #6544

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will return to “WWE SmackDown Live” for its premiere tomorrow, when the show moves to Fox after airing on cable for the last nine years. He last appeared on the program in Jan. 2013. The Rock formally announced his retirement from professional wrestling earlier this year. (That said, SmackDown’s title comes from Johnson’s wrestling catchphrase, “Lay the smackdown”, so he’s always there in spirit.)
-Yahoo
★ Mathew Knowles is opening up about his private battle with breast cancer. The music manager father of Beyoncé and Solange went public with his diagnosis on Wednesday’s “Good Morning America”, saying: “I also am a survivor of breast cancer”. The interview was timed with Breast Cancer Awareness month. Knowles went on to say: “This is genetics. It also means that my kids have a higher chance, a higher risk. Even my grandkids have a higher risk. And they handled it like they should — they went and got the test.”
-Yahoo
★ Chelsea Handler’s autobiography, “Life Will be the Death of Me”, is going to be turned into a TV series. An official description for the book says it features the ”funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler’s year of self-discovery”. Handler’s 2008 collection of mostly autobiographical essays, “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea”, was adapted as a TV comedy and ran for one season on NBC.
-ContactMusic
★ Director Kevin Smith has announced plans to make “Clerks III” — even though he only started writing the script on Sunday night. Smith says that the threequel will “be a movie that concludes a saga. It’ll be a movie about how you’re never too old to completely change your life. It’ll be a movie about how a decades-spanning friendship finally confronts the future.” The 1994 original, about the humorous goings-on at a New Jersey convenience store, was Smith’s directorial debut.
-Yahoo
★ Following the success of “Double Shot at Love,” the “Jersey Shore” duo of Paul Delvecchio (DJ Pauly D) and Vinny Guadagnino will star in a new docuseries for MTV set in Las Vegas. The series will follow the dynamic duo as they takeover Las Vegas and give their friends a shot at the Vegas life. Between Pauly D’s successful DJ residency and Vinny entertaining the masses on the strip, the two will help teach their friends the definition of work hard, play hard in Sin City.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Magic Johnson, Robert Iger, Anderson .Paak featuring Smokey Robinson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Taylor Swift, Chris O’Dowd, Angel Olsen
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Carrie Underwood, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Bob Thornton, Beth Ditto, Lauv featuring Anne-Marie, Roy Mayorga
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Cobie Smulders, Kristin Chenoweth
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Deon Cole, Todd Glass
• “Conan” (TBS): Flula Borg, Mohanad Elshieky (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Henry Winkler, Dan Rather
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rachel Maddow
• “The Talk” (CBS): Patricia Heaton
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Billy Bob Thornton, Andy Grammer
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Cardi B, Chance the Rapper, T.I., Nacho Figueras, the Highwomen
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Kal Penn, Wale
• “iHeartRadio Music Festival (Part 2)” (CW): Highlights of the event in Las Vegas; performers include Alicia Keys, Miley Cyrus, Chance the Rapper, Zac Brown Band, Mumford & Sons, and more; Ryan Seacrest hosts.
• “The This Old House Hour” (PBS): Season 18 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – leads with seven nominations for the 2019 MTV European Music Awards. Shawn Mendes, Lil Nas X and Billie Eilish are up for six apiece. Grande has noms in all seven major categories, including Best Artist, Best Video for ‘thank u, next’ and Best Song for ‘7 Rings’. The ceremony takes place in Seville, Spain, on November 3, and will air on MTV.
• Imagine Dragons – Dan Reynolds and his wife Aja Volkman welcomed their first son, Valentine, on Tuesday. He pointed out that Valentine means “strong” and referenced the #VegasStrong hashtag used after the devastating mass shooting at the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Reynolds’ hometown on Oct. 1, 2017 — exactly two years previous. They also have three daughters.
• Robert Plant – will release a special limited-edition seven-inch singles box set this fall. Due December 13, “Digging Deep” will include 16 A-sides and rare B-sides featured in his “Digging Deep: The Robert Plant Podcast”. The eight-disc collection also features restored artwork packaged in a bespoke hardback book.
• Green Day — have signed a two-year deal with the NHL, which will kick off with ‘Ready, Fire, Aim’, their new theme song for NBC’s “Wednesday Night Hockey” broadcast, which premieres on Oct. 9. They’ll also headline a performance at the NHL All-Star Game on Jan. 25, 2020 in St. Louis, Mo.
• KISS – We now know the probable reason Gene Simmons put the group’s farewell tour on pause last month. He underwent a procedure to deal with kidney stones on Tuesday. In 2009, he sold one of his kidney stones for $15,000, which ended up going to charity.
• Blondie – Debbie Harry admits in her new autobiography “Face it” that she supplied her then-boyfriend Chris Stein with heroin for months while he was seriously ill in hospital. Quote: “He was on heroin the entire time…I think the doctors and nurses knew that he was high all the time but turned a blind eye because it kept him relatively pain-free and mentally less tortured.”
• Lady Antebellum – will be inducted into the Music City Walk of Fame, along with Clint Black and musician Mac McAnally, later this month. Chet Atkins and harmonica player DeFord Bailey will receive stars posthumously. The Music City Walk of Fame ceremony will be held on Oct. 22 at the Music City Walk of Fame Park in Nashville.
• Kacey Musgraves – Has a new song called ‘All Is Found’ which will be featured in Disney’s “Frozen” sequel, “Frozen 2”, hitting theaters on Nov. 22. Also on the Frozen 2 soundtrack: Panic! At the Disco’s ‘Into the Unknown’, and Weezer’s ‘Lost in the Woods’.

40 IS THE NEW 18, DUDES:
You’ve probably seen a man being told by his significant other to “Grow up”. Here’s the thing: Men don’t grow up. Not until they’re 40, anyway. That’s according to a University of Oxford study, which looked into the differences in maturity and development between men and women. The result showed that although the brains of both women and men have the same potential to function in everyday life, men often exhibit some delay in the long-term development of “functional networks” compared to women. That can continue for up to about 40 years. That’s right – The study showed that in many cases, men’s brains don’t fully develop until the age of 40. That explains a lot.
(Men don’t mature until they’re 40…and even then, it’s debatable!)
(And by then, there’s a pretty good chance that he’s already severely damaged it…)
(Yes, this story came out a few weeks ago, but we lost it under a pile of laundry, and then got distracted playing Fortnite…and I just found it again this morning when I spilled my Count Chocula on it…)
-Disclose, Brightside

FINE WITH ME:
The city of Chicago has decided to eliminate overdue fees for library books. The Windy City becomes the latest place in the U.S. to drop the charge for books and other items not returned on time in an effort to remove barriers that deter youth and low-income patrons. The city also plans to erase any outstanding overdue fees. Chicago’s current library system blocks card holders when they owe a fine of $10 or more. Library officials say that one in every three library card holders in the South District is currently banned. Only one in five of those blocked cards belongs to a child under 14.
(They’d better be careful. Blockbuster never got the late fees I owed them, and where are they now?)
(So if there is no fine…it’s not really a library anymore is it? It’s more of a free bookstore!)
([***Caution***] Apparently Chicago has some of the most badass library users out there!)
-AP

IT’S A WATERFUL LIFE:
The secret to happiness? Water. Drinking water. A new study of 2,000 Americans found that you’re three times more likely to feel “very happy” if you feel you drink enough water. The results showed that 67 percent of people who said that they drank “more than enough” water thought of themselves as “very happy,” while only 21 percent of those who said they “didn’t drink enough water” said they’re “very happy.” Interestingly, while the “recommended amount” of water per day is eight 8-ounce glasses, the study found that those who drank 10-plus glasses per day were statistically the most likely to be “very happy”, with 80 per cent saying so.
(I guess they’re “very happy” spending half their day in the bathroom!)
(I bet they’re not too happy when they get their water bill!)
(Actually, for me the secret to happiness would be NOT drinking 10 glasses of water per day!)
-NYPost

MOST AWESOME COSTUMES FOR HALLOWEEN 2019:
➠ Steve and Robin ‘Scoops Ahoy’ Uniforms from “Stranger Things”:  Grab your sweetie and dress up in his and hers nautical-themed ice cream parlor uniforms
➠ Elton John from “Rocketman”:  The splashy, sequin-covered baseball uniform that he wore during his historic concerts at Los Angeles’ Dodgers Stadium in 1975. (A whole lot better than his less-celebrated ‘Donald Duck’ costume…!)
➠ Baby Shark:  The official earworm—uh, I mean anthem—of 2019 makes an adorable Halloween costume for tiny trick-or-treaters. (Aaaand THERE it is. That song. In my head. For the rest of the week…)
➠ Prince Harry and Pregnant Meghan Markle:  Pair the life-like two-dimensional masks with your Sunday best, slip a fake baby bump under your frock, and get set to go trick-or-treating wherever it is that royals do such things!
➠ Brite Bomber and Dark Voyager from Fortnite:  These kid-sized costumes are officially licensed products. Brite Bomber’s purple jumpsuit-and-pink crop top comes with every accessory but the boots, and Dark Voyager’s futuristic spacesuit includes a helmet.
➠ Mr. Rogers from “A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood”:  Includes that famous knit cardigan along with two hand puppets from the Land of Make Believe, plus a vinyl hairpiece.
➠ Iron Man:  Awesome detail, from its “titanium” mask right down to its red shoe covers. But the gold arms and legs are what really distinguishes this costume as the Mark 85 design that Iron Man rocks in “Endgame”.
➠ BoJack Horseman:  All you need to look like the washed-up, cynical humanoid horse actor from the Netflix series is a blazer and some casual duds, including a pair of red Converse sneakers. And, of course, the officially licensed horse mask with BoJack’s exact markings.
➠ Forky from “Toy Story 4”:  This kids’ costume comes with a white jumpsuit, red fuzzy gloves to replicate Forky’s pipe-cleaner limbs, and a mask featuring the character’s big blue smile. (It’s fine to dress as a plastic fork, but for God’s sake, don’t dress as a plastic straw – you’ll be knee-capped and sent on your way!)
-Reader’sDigest

DID YOU KNOW?
With what is expected to be a severe flu season is on its way, a study says if you want to avoid the flu virus, wash your hands with soap and water. Researchers in Japan found that hand-washing removed the flu virus from hands more quickly and more effectively than using a dab of alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
-ConsumerReports

BS CHRONOMETER 10.03.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [70] Lindsey Buckingham, Palo Alto, CA, rock guitarist/singer (‘Trouble’, ex-Fleetwood Mac-‘Go Your Own Way’)

1962 [57] Tommy Lee (Bass), Athens, Greece, rock drummer (Mötley Crüe-‘Dr. Feelgood’, ‘Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room’)/ex-Mr Pam Anderson (1995-98)/ex-Mr. Heather Locklear (1986-93)

1964 [55] Clive Owen, Coventry UK, TV actor (“The Knick” 2014-17)/movie actor (“Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, “Closer”)

1969 [50] Gwen Stefani, Anaheim CA, TV personality (‘The Voice’ 2014-2019)/pop singer (‘Hollaback Girl’, No Doubt-‘It’s My Life’)/fashion designer-marketer (LAMB)

1971 [48] Kevin Richardson, Lexington KY, boy-turned-man band pop singer (Backstreet Boys-‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart’, ‘I Want It That Way’)

1973 [46] Neve Campbell, Guelph ON, movie actress (“Scream” movies, “Wild Things”)

1973 [46] Lena Headey, Hamilton Bermuda, TV actress (‘Cersei Lannister’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-19)

1976 [43] Sean William Scott, Cottage Grove MN, movie actor (‘Steve Stifler’ in “American Pie” franchise, ‘Goon’, ‘Dukes of Hazzard’)

1979 [40] Josh Klinghoffer, LA CA, rock guitarist (Red Hot Chili Peppers 2009-present-‘Californication’, ‘Otherside’)

1984 [35] Ashlee Simpson, Waco TX, pop singer (‘Pieces Of Me’, ‘Boyfriend)/sister of Jessica Simpson

1988 [31] A$AP Rocky (Rakim Mayers), Harlem NY, rapper (G-Eazy ft. A$SAP Rocky and Cardi B-‘No Limit’, f/Skrillex & Birdy Nam Nam-‘Wild For the Night’)

2004 [15] Noah Schnapp, Scarsdale NY, TV actor (‘Will Byers’ on “Stranger Things” since 2015)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “German Unification Day”, celebrating the 1990 reuniting of East & West Germany to again become a single country after 45 years. It was a benchmark of the end of the ‘Cold War’.

• “Techies Day”, an annual salute to the people who know their way around the technology that is inseparable from our daily lives. Also, a day when students are encouraged to consider a career in technology. (There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t)

• “Look at the Leaves Day”, a day to admire the color changes of Autumn. (Now imagine the leaves a foot-and-half deep all over your backyard and a rake in your blistered hand …)

• “Caramel Custard Day”, caramel custard is a rich, flavorful dessert that originated in Europe. The Ancient Romans experimented with the binding properties of eggs in their cooking, but custard as we know it didn’t emerge until the Middle Ages. (If it has caramel in it, I’m in!)

• “Family TV Show Day”, a time for everyone to gather round the TV for the privilege of learning how wonderful this brand of air freshener and that roll of toilet paper are.

• “Mean Girls Appreciation Day”, every day is the perfect day to quote “Mean Girls”, but today’s date is a particularly noteworthy one for fans of the 2004 hit movie. (Things really started to heat up between Aaron Samuels and Cady when he asked her what day it was, and she replied, “It’s October 3rd.”)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Cinnamon Roll Day
[Fri] National Diversity Day
[Sat] Do Something Nice Day
[Sat] Get Funky Day

THIS DAY IN SHOWBIZ . . .
2003 [16] Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy is attacked and seriously injured by one of the show’s tigers, resulting in the end of their “Beyond Belief” show

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [27] Sinead O’Connor rips up a picture of Pope John Paul II on ‘Saturday Night Live’

2011 [08] Based on scientific research, Queen’s ‘We Are the Champions’ is announced as the ‘Catchiest Song Ever Written’

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1946 [73] 1st TV ‘soap opera’ (“The Faraway Hill”-DuMont Network)

1964 [55] The 1st ‘Buffalo Wings’ are made at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo NY

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [22] 69-year-old Gordie Howe plays a game with the IHL’S Detroit Vipers, becoming the first to play pro hockey in 6 different decades

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The center of the Sun is approximately 15 million °C (27 million °F)
✓ Strawberry is the only fruit with its seeds on the outside.
✓ The human eye can detect more shades of green than any other color.
✓ Dragonflies have 6 legs but can’t walk.
✓ The average hen lays 320 eggs a year.
✓ A soap bubble is 10,000 times thinner than the average human hair.
-InterestingOnlineFacts

BS QUICK CONVERSATION KILLERS:
• “Are you looking for an investment opportunity?”
• “Who’s your favorite Kardashian?”
• “Mind if I record this?”
• “Narcolepsy is such an easily misunderstood… (zzzzzzzzzz)”
• “I don’t like beer.”
• “I’m a vegan.”
• “Wanna see my rash?”
• “Can I borrow some money?”
• Me walking into the room.
• Dropping your pants.
-Twitter

BS THINGS ALEXA SAID “NO” TO:
• Pineapple on pizza.  (Alexa is smart. Be like Alexa.)
• The same thing that Meat Loaf said “I Won’t Do That” about.
• Drugs.
• My request to “crank it to 11” because “that isn’t possible”.
• “What does N-O spell?”
• When I asked her if she is part of a conspiracy for an A.I. Overlord to rule the world.  And then she giggled maniacally.
• Playing Christmas music. Because it’s too early. Take the hint.
• Kanye running for President.
• Siri’s friend request.
• Initiating self-destruct.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some see the glass as half empty, I see another dish to wash.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could hypnotize your spouse to do anything at all, what would it be? (In a survey, the #1 answer was … ‘clean the house’.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  3,000 people per year end up in the emergency room after tripping over THIS. What is it?
Answer:  A laundry basket

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.