Wednesday, October 12, 2011       Edition: #4606
Ahhh, Some BS to Look Forward to In the Morning!

Actor Liev Schreiber (“Wolverine”) is denying a report on The that he cheated on longtime partner Naomi Watts (“J Edgar”), and the woman he’s accused of sleeping with, Australian swimwear model Phoebe Roberts, has also denied the story (this is what we consider a news source these days – something called ‘The Dirty’?) . . . Meantime, “Bones” star David Boreanaz  tells “TV Week” his 2010 affair with Rachel Uchitel (also notched by Tiger Woods – and about a thousand others) actually ‘strengthened his marriage’ (right, we’d like to hear wife Jaime Bergman’s version) . . . According to “Hollywood Life”, actress Blake Lively (recently dumped by Leonardo DiCaprio) has been spotted staying at actor Ryan Reynolds’ apartment in Boston, Massachusetts, where he’s filming the new movie “R-I-P-D” (do either of these two have any idea where they are when they wake up?) . . . A lawsuit against famous felon Lindsay Lohan is being threatened – again – this time for racking up a $100,000-limo bill and failing to pay (girl, you could buy your own limo for less!) . . . reports 46-year-old “Sex & The City” actress Kristin Davis is a new (single) mom, having adopted a baby girl (‘Gemma Rose Davis’) . . . Thanks to a rash of new domain registrations containing various combinations of the name, rumor has it the new ‘James Bond’ movie (#23) might be called “Skyfall” (not “Why Are They Still Making These Things?”) . . . And “National Enquirer” reports that 23-year-old “Jersey Shore” star Snooki idolizes actress Kate Winslet to the point where she had her people contact the 36-year-old star’s management in an effort to arrange a meeting, but when Kate was told she just stared blankly and asked, “What’s a Snooki?” (true or not – we love it!).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Glen Campbell (“Ghost On The Canvas”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Chris Cornell (Soundgarden).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Portugal. The Man (“Waiter: You Vultures!”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Cake (“Showroom Of Compassion”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Chavez (“Better Days Will Haunt You”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Deer Tick (“Divine Providence”, out October 25th).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Jewel (“Sweet & Wild”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Fountains Of Wayne (“Sky Full of Holes”).

• The Band Perry – Their single “If I Die Young” has just been certified triple platinum for sales exceeding 3 million units. It’s from their self-titled debut album, released a year ago this week.
• Beyoncé – In an interview on “Sunday Night HD”, she’s revealed her due date is in February.
• Drake – He’s informed fans the release of his sophomore album, “Take Care”, has been pushed back from October 24th to November 15th due to a delay in securing rights to samples used on the recording.
• Five Finger Death Punch – Tonight they record a special outdoor performance that will air on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) October 26th. Their new album, “American Capitalist”, was released yesterday.
• Goo Goo Dolls – They’ve announced they’ll continue touring through the Fall, launching a new string of dates in support of their current album, “Something For the Rest Of Us”, starting tonight in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
• Gym Class Heroes / The Dirty Heads – Tonight they kick off a co-headlining tour in Tampa, Florida. Gym Class Heroes release their new album “The Papercut Chronicles II” on October 25th.
• Jason Derulo – The 22-year-old admits in “Celebs on Sunday” magazine that he’s ‘had foursomes’. But he would never mislead a girl that a one-night stand is anything other than that, he says, because his mother taught him to ‘be a gentleman’.
• Keith Urban – This week he’ll top the country charts once again with “Long Hot Summer”, the 3rd single from “Get Closer”. It will be his 13th #1 hit.
• Ke$ha – She tells “The Guardian” she’s not a submissive pop princess, but a rebellious, metal-loving rock chick. Quote: “I’m here to level the playing field. Chicks can talk about the same sh– as guys can, and they can be just as badass.”
• Lil Wayne – He’s due to appear in court today in connection with a $15-million lawsuit launched by Georgia-based Done Deal Enterprises, which claims his record company stole the song “BedRock”. If things go true to form, his lawyers will manage to get it delayed indefinitely.

Scientists have uncovered why it’s so difficult to buy perfume for others … we are drawn to fragrances that complement and enhance our own natural body odor. That goes against the conventional thinking that we use perfumes and aftershaves to mask the smells produced by our bodies. Anthropologist Jan Havlicek of Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic has been studying how scent influences behavior and found that most people find a fragrance that’s mixed with their own body odor more appealing. (Ah, this explains [sports reporter]!)

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Influence Score’ – A ranking assigned by new social analytic companies (ie: PeerIndex) based on the number of online friends and/or followers you have, how often you post, and how often your posts attempt to persuade. Several companies are already targeting consumers with high influence scores and in future, your ‘IS’ may impact whether or not you get a job or promotion. (Big Brother has expanded his toolbox.)
• ‘Narbs’ – Social media is the online place where people tell their stories. Specific items of this info are known as ‘narbs’ (short for ‘narrative bits’). Increasingly, large companies (ie: life insurers) are using ‘listening posts’ to zero in on ‘narbs’ that point to potential new clients. (Just what we need … another way to sic insurance reps on our case.)
• ‘Quiet Car’ – A train or subway car where riders cannot have cellphone conversations or use noisy devices. Smartphones or electronic devices that can be heard by others are not allowed. The concept is gaining popularity in transit systems worldwide. (Could we expand to ‘quiet cities’?)

Three friends in the Las Vegas Valley have opened a popcorn business with a unique twist … they freeze their product in liquid nitrogen. Oliver Morowati first tried the process on popcorn that he made at a barbecue last year and it impressed Zelma Watsubo and Jean Francois Chavanel, his co-workers at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant at Paris Las Vegas. They opened ‘Popped Gourmet Popcorn’ at a shopping center in Henderson, Nevada this July and are hoping to eventually have a retail store on the Las Vegas Strip. A variety of flavors are offered; the ‘fast-freeze’ is optional. (Local dentists gotta love this stuff! Munch, munch. Chip, chip.)
– “Las Vegas Sun”

Police in Seattle, Washington have arrested a 23-year-old who masquerades as a superhero called ‘Phoenix Jones’ for assaulting several people with pepper spray. Jones, who wears a black mask with yellow stripes and a body-suit, claims he was only trying to stop a street brawl. A few other real but really weird people who like to dress up to fight crime …
• ‘Captain Ozone’ of France, who has appeared in “Max” magazine and German “FHM”.
• ‘Dragonheart’, a bilingual superhero who operates in Miami, Florida.
• ‘Lion Heart, the only known superhero in Africa who’s helped saved the lives of many villagers in Liberia by teaching life skills.
• ‘Menganno’, dressed in blue clothing, a helmet & shield, works the town of Lanus, Argentina.
• ‘Shadow Ninja’, who patrols in Yeovil, England.
• ‘Superbarrio’, a Mexican hero who organizes labor rallies and protests.
• ‘Thanatos’, a real-life superhero who helps the homeless in Vancouver, British Columbia.
• ‘Zetaman’ similarly helps out the needy in Portland, Oregon with gifts of food and clothing.
– Condensed from

Do you remember what you were doing a year ago today? A clever new service called ‘4SquareAnd7YearsAgo’ does. It plugs into your Foursquare ‘check-ins’ – those geo-tagged notes showing where you ate, drank, and socialized. Each morning, it finds your check-ins from precisely 1 year earlier and emails you a summary. The result is a curiously powerful daily jolt of reminiscence. The service is an example of the new trend toward ‘memory engineering’ – the process of fashioning our digital past into useful memories. (We’d rather have the ability to somehow digitally erase memories. Busted marriage … zap!)
– “Wired Magazine”

In an effort to improve driving safety, the city of Caracas, Venezuela has hired … mimes. Dressed in clown-like outfits and white gloves, the mime troupe first took to the streets of the Sucre district this past week, wagging their fingers at traffic violators and pedestrians who jaywalk across busy avenues rather than using crosswalks. They’re finding plenty to keep them busy in a city where motorcycle riders roar down sidewalks, buses drop passengers in the middle of streets and drivers treat red lights and speed limits as suggestions rather than rules. (Great idea. No distraction for drivers there … a bunch of clowns gesturing by the roadside.)

For hitting a hole-in-one on the 3rd hole during the Madrid Masters tournament in Spain, Scottish golfer Elliot Saltman has won … his weight in ham. May sound weird but heavily cured and salted ham is an expensive delicacy in Spain. Unfortunately, the 235-lb Saltman has been trying to lose weight lately. (Should have aced the 2nd and won a container ship of sangria instead.)

A piece of NYC’s World Trade Center that was destroyed on 9/11 is on Mars. Aluminum from the rubble was used to make rock grinders on the ‘Spirit’ and ‘Opportunity’ rovers.


1947 [64] Chris Wallace, Chicago IL, TV news correspondent (“Fox News Sunday”)/son of legendary TV journalist Mike Wallace

1968 [43] Hugh Jackman, Sydney, Australia, movie actor (“Real Steel”, “Wolverine”)

1969 [42] Martie Maguire (Martha Erwin), York PA, country singer/fiddle player (Dixie Chicks-“Landslide”, Court Yard Hounds-“The Coast”)/sister of Dixie Chick Emily Robison

• “Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day”, a great opportunity to show off your beloved pal to work associates … and don’t forget to dress him up for the big event!

• “Dia de la Raza” (‘Day Of the Race’), observed in Mexico and throughout Latin America to celebrate Hispanics everywhere. (Also variously known as “Dia de las Americas” and “Dia de las Culturas”.)

• “Emergency Nurses Day”, celebrated annually on the Wednesday of “Emergency Nurses Week” to recognize the dedication and commitment of ER nursing professionals, who bring care, comfort, and compassion to patients.

• “Farmers Day”, to honor all farmers and recognize all that they do to improve our lives.

• “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed.

• “International Top Spinning Day”, an annual ‘science event’ instigated by the Spinning Top & Yo-Yo Museum in Burlington, Wisconsin to get 10,000 of the universal toys spinning around-the-world as a symbol of Earth itself being a spinning top.

1971 [40] The rock opera “Jesus Christ Superstar” by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice opens on Broadway (a new production, currently playing at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival in Stratford, Ontario, will open at the Neil Simon Theatre on Broadway March 22, 2012.)

2002 [09] More than 25 years after his death, the Elvis Presley album “Elv1s 30 No 1 Hits” debuts at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ (first Elvis album to ever debut atop the chart)

1901 [110] USA’s ‘Executive Mansion’ is renamed ‘The White House’

1991 [20] Chefs in Sarcelles, France set a record by making a 600-kg (1,322-lb) cheese fondue

[Thurs] English Language Day
[Thurs] International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
[Thurs] World Sight Day
[Fri] Alternative Fuel Day
[Fri] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Fri] World Egg Day
[Fri] “The Big Year”; “Footloose”; “The Thing” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … World Rainforest Week
This Month Is … Class Reunion Month


• ‘Fine’ – Used to end an argument when she’s right and you need to shut-up.
• ‘5 Minutes’ – If she is getting dressed, this means a half-hour.
• ‘Nothing’ – This means ‘something’, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.
• ‘Go Ahead’ – This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!
• Loud Sigh – A non-verbal statement meaning she thinks you’re an idiot and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing.
• ‘That’s OK’ – It’s not OK … she’s going to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
• ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it’ – Something a woman has asked a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in the man asking, ‘What’s wrong?’
(What expressions to guys have that actually mean something else?)
– Thanks to David Steckenreiter

Is it easier or harder to be a girl today than when you were young?

Alabama state game wardens Clem Parnell & Thad Holmes have started up a service called ‘Holy Smoke LLC’ which offers to load the cremains of customers into shotgun shells, rifle cartridges, and bullets. Parnell says he himself will rest in peace knowing that the last thing some wild turkey sees is his remains screaming at it at 900-feet-per-second.
PHONER: 251.232.4414 / 251.213.1211 (Stockton, Alabama)

Though rare, which of the following is an actual human condition caused by a genetic flaw?
a. Smellyfeetitis.
b. Pig Pungency Pestilence.
c. Fish Odor Syndrome. [CORRECT. The rare disorder that makes people smell like rotting fish was first discovered by a combined research team from London UK and Montréal, Québec.]

Once again you’ve hit the nail right on the thumb.

Question: Most men admit to being more afraid to do THIS than women.
Answer: Go to the dentist.

No grand idea was ever born in a conference.

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