Monday, October 12, 2015       Edition: #5347

Ahhh, Some BS to Look Forward to In the Morning!

★ This seems like a bit of a detour … singer Bruno Mars has inked a deal to co-create a new sitcom for NBC-TV. Described as a ‘single-camera music family comedy project’, the show is loosely based on elements of Bruno’s life. The storyline is said to involve a ‘boisterous, and quarrelsome family from the Bronx and what happens when they take in their wide-eyed, hopelessly optimistic 10-year-old nephew’. (We presume it will be titled “Uptown Punk”.)
★ Lollapalooza Brasil, Lollapalooza Chile, and Lollapalooza Argentina return in March 2016 with stellar lineups featuring headliners Eminem, Florence + The Machine, Jack ü (Skrillex + Diplo), and Mumford & Sons. Also aboard: Alabama Shakes, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Of Monsters & Men, Snoop Dogg, Tame Impala, Twenty One Pilots, Zedd and more. The 5th Lollapalooza Brasil takes place March 12-13 in São Paulo; the 3rd edition of Lollapalooza Argentina follows March 18-19 in Buenos Aires; and the 6th annual Lollapalooza Chile is March 19-20 in Santiago. (Former Jane’s Addiction singer Perry Farrell has become an extremely wealthy dude after creating the Lollapalooza concept in 1991.)
★ Actor Randy Quaid was taken into custody Friday night while trying to cross into the US from Canada, Vermont State Police have confirmed. The “Independence Day” actor was detained at the Highgate Springs port-of-entry. Quaid is wanted in Santa Barbara, California on felony vandalism charges filed in 2010 after he & wife Evi were found squatting in a guesthouse of a home they previously owned. The pair skipped several court appearances and moved to Canada. They’ve been taken into custody by state troopers and a judge has set bail at $500,000 each. (Randy Quaid is Dennis Quaid’s embarrassingly wacky older brother.)
– AP
★ And it seems 29-year-old actor Shia LaBeouf’s good behavior period is over. He was cuffed in Austin, Texas on Friday night (a month after a required 6 months avoiding any trouble with the law ended under terms of his March plea deal). Officers arrested the actor for public intoxication on Austin’s 6th Street entertainment strip, according to the Austin Police Department. LaBeouf drew attention to himself when trying to lurch across the street against a “Don’t Walk” signal.
(The trainwreck is back!)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Incubus (“Trust Fall – Side A”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Guest judge Maksim Chmerkovskiy; the celebrities and professional dancers switch partners.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Pharrell Williams (“G I R L”).
• “Jane the Virgin” (CW) – Season 2 debut. Guest stars this season include Kesha as the rocker next door (next week) and Britney Spears in Episode 5, November 9th.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Purity Ring (“Another Eternity”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tennis (“Ritual In Repeat”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – The Vamps (“Wake Up”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Darlene Love (“Introducing Darlene Love”); Elvis Costello (“Unfaithful Music & Soundtrack Album”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jazmine Sullivan (“Reality Show”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – John Fogerty, Brad Paisley, Selena Gomez, and Missy Elliott help the coaches; battle rounds begin.

• Blake Shelton – He’s announced the first dates of his 2016 tour with a February 18th launch in Cincinnati OH. The reigning 5-time CMA ‘Male Vocalist Of the Year’ and coach on NBC-TV’s “The Voice” has recorded new music for “Reloaded: 20 #1 Hits”, set for release on October 23.
• Drake – Serena Williams’ rep has dismissed reports suggesting the tennis ace is engaged to the rapper, insisting they aren’t even dating. The two have been seen together often; she recently joined him at the opening of his new restaurant in Toronto. The spokesperson claims they are simply longtime friends.
• Jennifer Lopez – She has been announced as the host of the 2015 American Music Awards. J-Lo will also perform at the gala, set for November 22nd in Los Angeles CA. The AMA nominees will be revealed this week.
• Marina & The Diamonds – Tonight in Houston TX they commence a North American tour in support of their latest album, “Froot”. Dates run up until November 9th in NYC.
• Rascal Flatts – Friday on NBC-TV’s “Today” show they performed the live television debut of their new single “I Like the Sound of That”. It’s taken from their 9th studio album, “Rewind”.
• Rod Stewart – The 70-year-old books extra hotel rooms for his model trains when he’s on the road. His full set at home in Beverly Hills CA measures 30-by-110 ft. Quote: ”Every man should have a hobby.” He’s so obsessed with railways he’s considering buying a real steam train.
• Selena Gomez – She says Taylor Swift is pulling her out of her shell. In a new interview with “Billboard”, Selena says she’s slowly but surely letting herself be more free, and it’s largely thanks to Taylor and their close-knit group of female friends.
• Spice Girls – They’re in negotiations to tour with the Backstreet Boys. The girl band is planning a 20th anniversary reunion tour for 2016 and have been in touch with the boy-band with the idea of doing a joint tour.
• Taylor Swift – She tells “NME” she’s unsure what comes next when her “1989 World Tour” ends with a run of shows in Asia and Australia in November-December. Quote: “I think I should take some time off. I think people might need a break from me. I’m going to… I don’t know. Hang out with my friends. Write new music. Maybe not write new music. I don’t know.”
• Wiz Khalifa – Pittsburgh PA police have confirmed the rapper (real name Cameron Jibril Thomaz) has received a citation for urinating in public. The incident allegedly occurred about 2:30 am Saturday behind a bar called The Flats on Pittsburgh’s South Side. (Ah! So that’s where his nickname comes from.)

There’s a new, scientifically-proven trick for remembering someone’s name. University of Montréal researchers have found that repetition is the key to making a new name stick. But it’s not as simple as repeating it in your head. Your best bet is to say the name to someone else. In experiments, participants have proven significantly more able to recall names that they read to another person. Communicating the info to another made a big difference even though they couldn’t hear themselves speak due to noise-canceling headphones. Previous studies have found name recall can be improved by repetition out loud and also by asking people something about themselves as soon as you meet them, which helps anchor names in your memory. (“Nice to meet you, Kimberly. Is that some kind of oozing rash on your neck?”)

Some real but really weird people who like to dress up to fight crime …
• ‘Captain Ozone’ of France, who has appeared in “Max” magazine and German “FHM”.
• ‘Dragonheart’, a bilingual superhero who operates in Miami, Florida.
• ‘Lion Heart, the only known superhero in Africa who’s helped saved the lives of many villagers in Liberia by teaching life skills.
• ‘Menganno’, dressed in blue clothing, a helmet & shield, works the town of Lanus, Argentina.
• ‘Shadow Ninja’, who patrols in Yeovil, England.
• ‘Superbarrio’, a Mexican hero who organizes labor rallies and protests.
• ‘Thanatos’, a real-life superhero who helps the homeless in Vancouver, British Columbia.
• ‘Zetaman’ similarly helps out the needy in Portland, Oregon with gifts of food and clothing.
– Condensed from

Scientists have uncovered why it’s so difficult to buy perfume for others … we are drawn to fragrances that complement and enhance our own natural body odor. That goes against the conventional thinking that we use perfumes and aftershaves to mask the smells produced by our bodies. An anthropologist at Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic has been studying how scent influences behavior and found that most people find a fragrance that’s mixed with their own body odor more appealing. (Ah, this explains [sports reporter]!)

A piece of NYC’s World Trade Center that was destroyed on 9/11 is on Mars. Aluminum from the rubble was used to make rock grinders on the ‘Spirit’ and ‘Opportunity’ Mars rovers.

“I feel like I got discriminated in fashion for not being gay.” (Naw, it’s just for being you.)
– Kanye West


1947 [68] Chris Wallace, Chicago IL, TV news correspondent (“Fox News Sunday”)/son of legendary late TV journalist Mike Wallace

1968 [47] Hugh Jackman, Sydney, Australia, movie actor (“Pan”, “Wolverine”)

1969 [46] Martie Maguire (Martha Erwin), York PA, country singer/fiddle player (Dixie Chicks-“Landslide”, Court Yard Hounds-“The Coast”)/sister of Dixie Chick Emily Robison

1986 [29] Tyler Blackburn, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Caleb on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2011,  “Ravenswood” 2013-14)

1992 [23] Josh Hutcherson, Union KY, movie actor (‘Peeta Mellark’ in “The Hunger Games” films)

• “Columbus Day” in America, commemorating  Christopher Columbus’ October 12th, 1492 ‘discovery of the New World’ … which had already been discovered by Vikings, Siberians, Aboriginals, Aztecs, and many others centuries before.

• “Dia de la Raza” (‘Day Of the Race’), observed in Mexico and throughout Latin America to celebrate Hispanics everywhere. (Also variously known as “Dia de las Americas” and “Dia de las Culturas”.)

• “Farmers Day”, to honor all current farmers and those throughout history to recognize all that they have done to improve our lives.

• “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed.

• “Kick Butt Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Monday in October. This is a day to give yourself a kick in the seat of the pants and work on achieving your goals. Have you been meaning to start an exercise program or a diet? Are you wanting to change jobs? Do you have projects around the house you need to accomplish? Today is the day to get started.

• “Thanksgiving Day” in Canada, observed annually since 1879. Originally the date was changed year-to-year. In 1957, parliament decided it would be observed annually as a national holiday on the 2nd Monday in October.

• “World Arthritis Day”, to raise awareness of rheumatic and musculoskeletal diseases (RMDs) and to encourage people with RMDs to seize every opportunity to improve their quality of life.

2002 [13] More than 25 years after his death, the Elvis Presley album “Elv1s 30 No 1 Hits” debuts at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ (first Elvis album to ever debut atop the chart)

2005 [10] A 1974 Rolls Royce that belonged to late Queen singer Freddie Mercury is auctioned off on eBay (sells for close to $120,000 … 6 times the estimate)

2003 [12] Michael Schumacher wins his 6th Formula One Drivers’ championship at the Japanese Grand Prix to beat the 48-year-old record held by Juan Manuel Fangio

[Tues] International African Penguin Awareness Day
[Tues] Face Your Fears Day
[Tues] Silly Sayings Day
[Wed] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Wed] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day
[Wed] Muharram (Islamic New Year)

Bone & Joint Health Awareness Week / Chestnut Week / Earth Science Week / Food Bank Week / Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week / Mediation Week / School Lunch Week / Veterinary Technicians Week / World Rainforest Week


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• A car upside down in midair.
• A football wide receiver upside down in midair.
• A female voice behind a door saying, “I’ll be right out.”
• A guy with his leg practically stuck in the mouth of a bass.
• Naked women.
– First published in “BS” 2001.

• ‘Fine’ – Used to end an argument when she’s right and you need to shut-up.
• ‘Nothing’ – This means ‘something’, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.
• ‘5 Minutes’ – If she is getting dressed, this means a half-hour.
• ‘Go Ahead’ – This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!
• Loud Sigh – A non-verbal statement meaning she thinks you’re an idiot and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing.
• ‘That’s OK’ – It’s not OK … she’s going to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
• ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it’ – Something a woman has asked a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This later results in the man asking, ‘What’s wrong?’ She’ll say, ‘Nothing’.
(What expressions to guys have that actually mean something else?)
– First published in “BS” 2011.

Is it easier or harder to be a girl today than when you were young?

Though rare, which of the following is an actual human condition caused by a genetic flaw?
a. Smellyfeetitis.
b. Pig Pungency Pestilence.
c. Fish Odor Syndrome. [CORRECT. The rare disorder that makes people smell like rotting fish was first discovered by a combined research team from London UK and Montréal, Québec.]

Get your childhood jam on! The online ‘Nostalgia Machine’ cranks out a playlist for any year going back to 1960 …

Once again you’ve hit the nail right on the thumb.

Question: Most men admit to being more afraid to do THIS than women.
Answer: Go to the dentist.

No grand idea was ever born in a conference.

Jamie DeMatoff @ 1015 K-Rock [KORL] Honolulu HI; Jason Armstrong @ 1075 Kiss FM [CKIZ] Vernon BC; Daniel Butler @ Cocoa FL; Alex Randall @ AM 1090 [WUVI] Charlotte Amalie, US Virgin Islands; Chris Cohn @ The New 97.7 [KAFA] Air Force Academy, Colorado Springs CO; and Kristi Jagger @ Magic 92.5 [XHRM] San Diego CA.

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