Thursday, October 13, 2011        Edition: #4607
Sweet Sheet!

This week’s debut of “The Rosie Show” (OWN), Rosie O’Donnell’s first talk show since she left ABC-TV’s “The View” in 2007, is a ratings flop so far (the fact that the next day’s guest is always ‘TBA’ isn’t helping promote it) . . . FOX-TV’s new drama series “Touch”, from “Heroes” creator Tim Kring, will star Kiefer Sutherland (“24”) as the father of a special boy who sees the past, present, and future all at once but doesn’t communicate with others (likely to premiere early next year) . . . Unfortunately-named Hollywood spawn arriving this week include a baby girl for sorta actress-reality TV star  Tori Spelling (‘Hattie’) and a maliciously misnamed baby girl for “Jackass” star Johnny Knoxville (‘Arlo’) . . . Former couple NY Yankees star Derek Jeter & “Charlie’s Angels” actress Minka Kelly have been spotted together in Miami, Florida laughing and having a fun time – over breakfast (so it seems it’s back on at least WAS for one night) . . . Actors Hilary Swank & Jean-Claude Van Damme are getting slammed for attending the birthday party for Chechnya’s human-rights-challenged president Ramzan Kadyrov (as if their recent movie credits aren’t horrific enough) . . . According to Life & Style”, 27-year-old actor Jonah Hill (“Moneyball”) has dropped 40 lbs AND his girlfriend of 3 years, Jordan Klein (another 100 lbs of deadweight?) . . . And just to prove that most of us still really appreciate quality TV, final figures show that over 10 million viewers tuned in for Kim Kardashian’s 2-part wedding special this week (sigh).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Dropkick Murphys (“Going Out in Style “).
• DeLuna Fest (Pensacola, Florida) – The 2nd annual edition of ‘America’s Original Beach Party’ through Sunday features over 80 acts on 6 stages along Pensacola Beach. Performers include Big Boi, Cake, Jane’s Addiction, Linkin Park, Matt & Kim, The Shins, and Weezer.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Lupe Fiasco (“Lasers”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Evanescence (“Evanescence”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Kills (“Midnight Boom”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Classic rockers The Moody Blues
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Martina McBride (“Eleven”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Taylor Swift (“Speak Now World Tour Live”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Italian boy-band Il Volo (“Il Volo”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Gloria Estefan (“The Essential 3.0 Gloria Estefan”).
• “The X Factor” (FOX) – The contestants visit the judges’ homes.

• Alan Jackson – Mineral, Virginia, the tiny town at the epicenter of August’s earthquake has won a free concert by the country star after it received more than 31,000 votes in a competition sponsored by A date for the concert hasn’t been set as yet.
• Beyoncé – The mom-to-be still wears stilettos despite being 5-months pregnant. She’s also working on a maternity collection for her House of Dereon clothing line.
• Christina Aguilera – She’s not pregnant (as far as we know) but is showing off a, well … fuller figure. That’s OK, “You are beautiful, no matter what they say”. You won’t recognize her here …
• Kid Rock – He’s calling his Fall trek ‘a tour unlike any other’. Each stop on the club tour will raise money for local charities through his Kid Rock Foundation. The philanthropic project begins with a gig in Silver Spring, Maryland on November 16th.
• Paramore – They plan to release 3 new singles in the next 3 months through the ‘Singles Club’ on their website The first, a track called “Renegade”, is available now.
• Phoenix – Tonight the French/German TV network Arte premieres a new documentary about the band called “From a Mess To the Masses”. The film includes concert footage and backstage scenes shot during their 2009-2010 tour.
• Rolling Stones – Next Tuesday, October 18, the music doc “The Rolling Stones: Some Girls Live In Texas” screens in more than 300 select movie theaters. The one-night-only event features never-before-seen concert footage captured live in Fort Worth, Texas on July 18, 1978.
• Taylor Swift – She’ll receive the ‘Woman Of the Year Award’ at the “2011 Billboard Women in Music” gala in NYC on December 2nd. At 21, she’ll be the youngest artist to ever receive the honor.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Friday Night Lights” – TV’s recently-wrapped cult hit is headed to the bigscreen for a 2nd time, confirms actress Connie Britton, who earned an Emmy nod for her role as ‘Tami Taylor’. Co-star Kyle Chandler picked up the ‘Best Actor’ Emmy this year. The series was based on a 2004 film that starred Billy Bob Thornton. Seems ‘clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose’ … at the box office!
• “Gotti: In the Shadow of My Father” – John Travolta’s movie about the notorious Gotti crime family has reportedly been put on hold due to financial issues. Travolta was due to star as late Mafia boss John Gotti, who died in prison in 2002. Work on the project has come to a halt and apparently won’t resume until more financing is secured.
• “I, Frankenstein” – Aaron Eckhart is set to pile on prosthetics to play Frankenstein’s monster in a re-imagining of Mary Shelley’s classic tale. The film is based on Kevin Grevioux’s graphic novel of the same name, which sees Shelley’s monster having survived into the present day. Filming is due to begin in January in Australia.
• “The Pursuit” – Rapper-turned actor/producer 50 Cent will make this action movie his next starring vehicle. The thriller follows a cop and a criminal who inadvertently team up to track down an escaped bank robber because each has his own personal vendetta against the man. Fiddy will play the cop. The plan is to start shooting in Louisiana in February.
• “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” – After Mike Myers spent 3 years reworking the script in a loose agreement with 20th Century Fox that he would play the title character, Ben Stiller has been brought aboard to both star and direct. And to add insult to injury, Myers’ script has been tossed. The 2013 film will be a remake of the 1947 Danny Kaye classic.

• “I was talking with the new team you started and I offered to volunteer my time.” (The person who should dictate how you allocate your time is your boss, not you.)
• “I secured paramount lodging for the symposium.” (Quit using the thesaurus every time you email. Keep your language short and concise.)
• “It was nothing, no big deal.” (Never downplay the hard work behind your achievements.)
• “Some people around here are online shopping during the workday.” (Nobody likes a snitch.)
• “Why did [other person] get a promotion instead of me?” (The answer to this question is … none of your business.)
• “This place would fall apart without me.” (This statement is arrogant, condescending and probably not true.)
• “I have some great gossip!” (Never feed the office rumor mill. It’ll likely come back to haunt you.)
• “That’s not how we did it at my old job.” (If you can’t stop talking about your old job, your boss will probably wonder why you left.)

In middle schools, student lockers that were once considered decorated if they had a photo of the latest teen heartthrob have now become the latest frontier in nesting. Today’s lockers are outfitted with miniature furry carpets, motion-sensor-equipped lamps that glow when the door opens, mirrors, decorative flowers, and magnetic wallpaper in floral and leopard-print patterns. It seems the locker has become the  ideal platform to convey one’s image, as it’s visible to anyone walking down the hallway. (Back in the day, the only colorful thing we had in the locker was an egg salad sandwich from a 3-month-old bagged lunch.)
– “NY Times”

• Accidents happen. If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I’ll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right.
• Before you open the door, I’d prefer that you have a shirt on … and definitely some pants.
• Use your manners. When you open the door, please put down you your cellphone. It’s basic etiquette.
• The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet. The best tips come from middle- and lower-class customers who understand what we go through.
• I remember every customer who doesn’t tip. I won’t do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking up the soft drinks on the next delivery would not be out of the question.
•  I’ll knock on your door 3 times and call you on the phone twice. If you don’t answer, don’t call later to complain you didn’t get your food.
– Condensed from

If you ask someone when ‘middle age’ begins, the answer – not surprisingly – depends on the age of the respondent. College-aged students are convinced that one fits soundly into the middle-age category at 35. Respondents who are actually 35, however, beg to differ. For them, middle age is still half a decade away, with 40 representing the inaugural year. In fact, based on our average life expectancy, most people overestimate it. Technically, middle age kicks off no later than 32, at least for men. (It lasts until 60 or 70 … when people finally admit they’re ‘old’.)

At this year’s “World Pole Dance Championships” in Budapest, Hungary men were allowed to compete for the first time. A total of 7 males braved a panel of women judges, a mainly female crowd, and decades of stereotypes. 26-year-old Australian Matty Shields managed to win over the skeptical crowd with moves like ‘the body flag’, in which he grips the pole with his hands and stretches his body out horizontally. Pole dancing is slowing managing to overcome its roots in strip clubs to be accepted as a legitimate fitness activity and sport. The International Olympic Committee has even been petitioned to make it an Olympic event. (What next … lap dancing?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

This Halloween, you can go as yourself while wearing a super-realistic 3-D ‘face mask’ by a Japanese company called REAL-f. That’s right, it’s a mask that perfectly duplicates … your own face. In fact, these copies are so realistic the company claims to be able to accurately reproduce minute details like the irises of your eyes, your blood vessels, and skin pigmentation. (For a truly freaky experience, swap with your partner … in the bedroom.)


1941 [70] Paul Simon, Newark NJ, iconic singer-songwriter (“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”, Simon & Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”)/Gershwin Prize for Popular Song (2007)/12 Grammy Awards

1942 [69] Jerry Jones, LA CA, NFL Owner-General Manager (Dallas Cowboys)/petroleum mogul

1947 [64] Sammy Hagar, Salinas CA, rock singer (“Little White Lie”, Chickenfoot since 2008-“Oh Yeah”, Van Halen 1985-96-“Why Can’t This Be Love”)

1959 [52] Marie Osmond, Ogden UT, Las Vegas entertainer (“Donny & Marie”)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007)/pop-country singer (“Paper Roses”)

1962 [49] Kelly Preston (Palzis), Honolulu HI, movie actress (“Casino Jack”, “Jerry McGuire”)/Mrs John Travolta since 1991

1967 [44] Kate Walsh, San Jose CA, TV actress (‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ on “Private Practice” since 2007, ‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-07)

1971 [40] Sacha Baron Cohen, London UK, movie actor (“Bruno”, “Borat”)/TV comedian (“Da Ali G Show” 2003-04)  COMING UP: “The Dictator” (2012).

1971 [40] Billy Bush, Killingworth CT, TV host (“Access Hollywood” since 2004, “Miss Universe” 2003-09, “Today Show” 2001-08)/syndicated radio personality (“The Billy Bush Show”)/first cousin of George W Bush

1980 [31] Ashanti (Douglas), Glen Cove NY, R&B singer (“Rock Wit U”, “Foolish”)/movie actress (“Resident Evil: Extinction”, “Coach Carter”)

• “English Language Day”, celebrating the date in 1362 when the Chancellor of the United Kingdom opened Parliament with a speech in English for the first time, a landmark in its development as a world language. English is now considered by many to be THE world language, and is often the second language of choice in non-English countries. (Interesting how some of us are convinced all foreigners will understand it if we just speak it loudly enough.)

• “International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction”, an annual UN observance to raise awareness how people are taking action to reduce their risk in disasters. So how’s it working so far?

• “International Skeptics Day”. We’re not sure there’s really any point to this or that it accomplishes anything at all really.

• “World Sight Day”, held annually on the 2nd Thursday in October as an effort by the World Health Organization to focus global attention on blindness, visual impairment, and rehabilitation of the visually-impaired.

1983 [28] 1st ‘Cellular Telephone System’ introduced (John Edwards, the Brit who invented the cellphone in the 1960s, was refused a start-up loan from a bank manager who told him it wouldn’t catch on because people would ‘never want to carry a phone in their pocket’)

1990 [21] Mike Seipel sets a Guinness World Record in Jacksonville, Florida with a jump of 76 feet, 5 inches while waterskiing barefoot

2010 [01] The ‘Chilean Miners’ arrive at the surface after surviving a record 69 days underground in Copiapo, Chile awaiting rescue (all 33 survive what had become a worldwide fixation)

[Fri] Alternative Fuel Day
[Fri] Be Bald & Be Free Day
[Fri] World Egg Day
[Fri] “The Big Year”; “Footloose”; “The Thing” open in movie theaters
[Sat] International Day of Rural Women
This Week Is … Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week
This Month Is … Protect Your Hearing Month


• You make an error, you forfeit your protective cup.
• Pitcher gives up a home run … entire bench gets to dog pile him.
• Baseball bats hollowed out and filled with whipped cream.
• Landmines randomly placed in the outfield.
• When organist plays that ‘Charge’ music, entire stadium crowd breaks onto the field.
• Bases triggered with coiled springs that go off randomly upon impact.
– Thanks to BPatt

What’s the biggest way that having kids changed your life?

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic …

Question: On average, women take 20 seconds longer than men to do THIS.
Answer: Parallel park.

Happy homes are built with blocks of patience.

Printer Friendly Version