Thursday, October 14, 2010        Edition: #4364
Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

37-year-old Heidi Klum, who retired from modeling for Victoria Secret last month, has been confirmed as the new face of Ann Taylor fashion and has also announced plans for a new TV show, “Seriously Funny Kids”, due for a 2011 launch on Lifetime network (seems she didn’t like retirement) . . . Former Bush singer Gavin Rossdale, now married to Gwen Stefani, has just admitted he had a gay relationship with androgynous gender-bending pop star Marilyn in the 1980s, claiming he hasn’t previously spoken about it because of the ‘glare’ of the media (only a distant memory these days) . . . When asked by “Stylist” magazine who he’d like to see do a cameo on “Glee”,  31-year-old star Matthew Morrison (‘Will Schuester’) picks Harrison Ford and, as a close second, Justin Timberlake – to play his brother (same quirky hair!) . . . Reality TV star Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) & NFL star Reggie Bush (New Orleans Saints) may have split in March after a tumultuous 3-year relationship but they reportedly continue to share custody of their dog, a boxer named ‘Rocky’, whom Bush flies to see in LA every chance he gets (your ex flies cross-country to see – your dog; how’s that make you feel?) . . . And famous person Paris Hilton is assuring fans she’s okay after an unnamed male had to be physically restrained by her security staff when he had the temerity to knock on her front door earlier this week (Pete’s Pizza says – yeah, whatever – she’s still gonna have to cough up for the pie she ordered).

• “A Conversation With President Obama” (BET/CMT/MTV) – A 1-hour, commercial-free ‘town hall-style’ event airing at 4 pm ET/PT before an audience of approximately 250 young people.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Bruno Mars (“Doo-Wops & Hooligans”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Damian Marley & Nas (“Distant Relatives”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – City & Colour (“Bring Me Your Love”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Ben Folds (“Lonely Avenue”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Diddy-Dirty Money (“Last Train to Paris”).
• “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” (Bravo) – Among the cast in this new season of the reality series: Camille Grammar, soon to be ex-wife of actor Kelsey Grammar; and Kim & Kyle Richards, a pair of Paris Hilton’s aunts.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Kevin McHale (‘Artie Abrams’ on “Glee”).

• Adam Lambert – He’s been asked to tone down his sometimes racy act for his concert tonight in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and he’s agreed to do so out of respect, saying his main goal is to keep people entertained … not to make them uncomfortable.
• Akon – He says his new album, “Stadium”, is influenced by the many styles of music he has been exposed to while touring the world, including influences from as far afield as Japan and India. The album’s due out in November.
• Christina Aguilera – Both “People” and “Us Magazine” are reporting she’s separated from husband Jordan Bratman. Sources say they’ve not yet filed for divorce but have been living apart for a few months.
• Disturbed – The metal rockers have cancelled all upcoming tour dates due to singer David Draiman suffering a ‘serious throat condition’. It’s apparently not permanent, but he must stop singing for at least 4 weeks in order to heal.
• Keith Urban – The final tally is in and his star-studded fundraising concert for the Country Music Hall of Fame on October 5th raised a massive $450,000 for the museum’s school programs and non-profit exhibitions.
• Lady Gaga – A insider tells “Heat” magazine she’s become so paranoid that a bodyguard even sits in her room while she sleeps. “Fame Monster” indeed.
• My Chemical Romance – Tonight the video for their new single, “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)”, premieres on MTV following “Jersey Shore”.
• My Morning Jacket – They’re a third of the way through recording their 6th studio album, with 5 tracks complete. Bassist Tom Blankenship tells that the record is a return to their ‘laid back’ roots. The new project is expected to be released in early 2011.
• 3OH!3 – Tonight they hit the road with a new round of tour dates in support of the album “Streets Of Gold”, beginning in San Antonio TX.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Darling Companion” – Kevin Kline & Diane Keaton will play husband & wife in a new movie written and directed by Lawrence Kasdan about a struggling married couple on the hunt for a missing dog. “Mad Men” actress Elisabeth Moss co-stars.
• “Dolphin Tale” – Kris Kristofferson & Harry Connick Jr are playing father & son in this new family film that’s now shooting in Florida. It chronicles the real-life story of an 11-year-old boy who nurses a tailless dolphin back to life and convinces doctors to fit it with a prosthetic.
• “How to Train Your Dragon 2” – A 3-D sequel to the hit animated kids’ film is being planned for 2013. The original Viking tale fired up the worldwide box office when it was released earlier this year, banking almost $500 million globally.
• “Sherlock Holmes 2” – Swedish actress Noomi Rapace (the original “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”) has signed to star alongside Robert Downey Jr & Jude Law in Guy Ritchie’s upcoming sequel, playing a French gypsy, a role she says will give her the chance to tap into her roots.
• Untitled Phil Spector Film – Al Pacino is set to play the famed ‘Wall of Sound’ music producer in a new HBO movie. David Mamet will write & direct the bio-film. Spector is currently serving a 19-year prison sentence for the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson.
• “Zoolander 2” – A script is complete for a proposed 2012 sequel in which rivals-turned-friends ‘Zoolander’ & ‘Hansel’ (Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson) are depressed about hitting 40 and needing to claw their way back into the fashion world. It’s hoped that Will Ferell & Jonah Hill will co-star.

There’s a restaurant in Riga, Latvia that looks like an ER. It’s called ‘Hospitalis’, and it has a small ‘crazy menu’ with entrees like liver-filled quail that are prepared in such a way as to resemble something that might have been surgically extracted from a person. Though you can order a normal meal, be prepared to eat it with syringes, scalpels, and other surgical utensils. In that same vein, drinks are served in things like test tubes and IV bags. You can even order a beer in a urine sample jar. (Short-cutting the red tape if you’re pulled over on the way home.)

Recent Radford University research has identified occupations with an elevated risk of divorce. Here are the professions you want to steer clear of, in order of increasing risk of divorce …
10. Entertainers, performers, sports and related workers.
9. Nursing, psychiatric, and home health aides.
8. Telephone operators.
7. Food and tobacco factory workers.
6. Gaming service workers.
5. Extruding machine operators.
4. Gaming cage workers.
3. Massage therapists.
2. Bartenders.
1. Dancers and choreographers.
– Excerpted from “Cosmopolitan”

Scientists have confirmed what many pet owners have long suspected … some dogs have a gloomier outlook on life than others. The unusual insight into canine psychology emerged from a study by Bristol University researchers into how dogs behave when separated from their owners. Dogs that are generally calm when left alone are also found to have a more positive outlook on life, while those that bark, relieve themselves, and destroy furniture appear to be more pessimistic. (Or just totally ticked off that you left them home all day …. traitor!)
– “The Guardian”

Americans have got some walking to do if they want to catch up with the rest of the world. They are far outpaced by Australians, Asians, and Europeans who walk much more, according to a new University of Tennessee study. Adults in Australia average 9,695 steps a day; the Swiss follow with 9,650; then the Japanese clock in with 7,168 steps. But Americans straggle far behind with just 5,117 steps. Lead researcher David Bassett says he’s surprised the level of physical activity is so low in the US, as 5,000 steps is fairly inactive. (The trouble with North American car culture – you don’t walk on freeways.)
– “China Daily”

• In a survey of social networking around-the-world, Malaysians show up as #1 with an average of 233 friends apiece. The Japanese, with an average of just 29 each, are ranked last of the 46 countries surveyed. (I’m not feeling so confident now. Is 2 bad?)
– BBC News
• About 23% of cyclists killed on US roads are drunk, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. (You should never drink and pedal!)


1927 [83] (Sir) Roger Moore, London UK, movie actor (‘James Bond’ 1973-85 including “A View to a Kill”, “The Spy Who Loved Me”)

1939 [71] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (Polo, CK Jeans)

1974 [36] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Travelin’ Soldier”, “Landslide”)

1978 [32] Usher (Raymond), Dallas TX, pop/R&B singer (“OMG”, “Love In This Club”)

1996 [14] Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon, LA CA, Madonna’s daughter via fitness trainer Carlos Leon

• “Bald & Free Day”, honoring those with a beautiful, shiny top. You don’t have to be bald to celebrate; people who are married to, or related to a bald-headed person are also encouraged to celebrate alongside the honoree. So who’s the best-looking bald celeb?

• “Dessert Day”, honoring the tasty treat that tops off dinner. Nowadays just 14% of families regularly consume dessert, as opposed to 24% only 20 years ago. But that number may be a little misleading because studies show that younger people (under 45) eat dessert foods more often, occasionally having them in place of regular meals.

• “Frump Day”, honoring the world’s largest silent majority … those average, unpretentious, regular folks. You know … riffraff.

• “Quarrel Festival” (or “Rough House Festival”) in Japan when people jostle one another to demonstrate their skill and balance in handling burdens. Impress the boss by giving her a cross-body block today.

• “Train Your Brain Day,” a day to ‘clean out the cobwebs, blast through the barriers and click on the light bulbs’ because humans use only a small percentage of their brain power.

• “World Sight Day”, an annual World Health Organization day of awareness on the 2nd Thursday of October, to focus global attention on blindness, visual impairment, and rehabilitation of the visually impaired.

1926 [84] Author AA Milne’s silly old bear of ‘Hundred-Acre Wood’ is introduced in the children’s classic “Winnie-the-Pooh”

1943 [67] RCA sells the NBC Blue radio network for $8-million to Edward Noble, who renames it the American Broadcasting Company (ABC)

2005 [05] Actor Daniel Craig is announced as the new ‘James Bond’ at a news conference in London UK

1916 [94] 1st ‘Nude Movie Scene’ (Annette Kellerman in “Daughter Of the Gods”)

1990 [20] ‘Fast Eddy’ McDonald successfully executes 21,663 loops with a yo-yo in 3 hours (Toronto ON)

1993 [17] ‘Largest Lasagna’ weighs 8,188 lbs and measures 70 ft x 7 ft (Salinas CA)

2007 [03] Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre throws the 278th interception of his career, moving him past George Blanda for most all-time in NFL history

[Fri] Bosses Day
[Fri] International Day of Rural Women
[Fri] Mammography Day
[Fri] Grouch Day
[Sat] World Food Day
This Week Is … International Pinball Week
This Month Is … Alternate History Month


• You’ve earned 2 million, 450 thousand loyalty points … at Value Village.
• When you get home your kids ask you if today was tacky sweater day at work.
• You’re 38-years-old, and you still wear Spider-Man pajamas.
• That avant garde design on your shirt is just spaghetti sauce.
• You wear turtle necks … made out of real turtles.
• Next to you in your obnoxious get-ups, Don Cherry looks like a piker.
• Only magazine cover you’ve ever appeared on … “Ugly Clothes Guy”.
• Co-workers keep asking where you found your costume.
• Lady Gaga sees your Facebook photo and exclaims, “Whoa, that’s a bit much!”

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Listener must answer rapid-fire, and must get all questions WRONG to win. The trick is to answer with something so outrageous, it couldn’t possibly be correct. [The correct answer that can not be used is in brackets.] It’s way tougher than it seems!
• A poll shows that 71% of commuters have been the victim of what? [Someone giving them the finger.]
• One-quarter of the human body’s 206 bones are located where? [In the feet.]
• What’s the capital of Paraguay? [Asuncion.]
• Almost half of us admit we do this far less than our mothers. [Clean the house.]
• Bad breath may be worst first thing in the morning, but it also peaks when? [In late afternoon.]
• We eat an average of 46 of these every year. [Slices of pizza.]
• Studies show we’re more likely to be turned on by movie love scenes if the characters are what? [Strangers.]
• Cristal champagne is sold in bottles of which color? [Clear.]
• Out of every 10 men, how many sleep in the nude? [1, according to a recent poll.]
• You just experienced a ‘sternutatory reflex’. What happened to you? [You sneezed.]

What’s the worst uniform you’ve ever had to wear?

Today’s Question: Fully half of guys polled say they would dump their woman for THIS reason.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: If she got fat. (

Most well-trodden paths lead nowhere.

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