Monday, October 14, 2013        Edition: #5079

Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

• Tonight Brit comedian Ricky Gervais is bringing his manager character from the original TV production of “The Office” to the stage at London’s Bloomsbury Theatre, where ‘David Brent’ will perform songs with his band Foregone Conclusion. Gervais is recycling the decade-old character after a YouTube series called “Learn Guitar with David Brent” racked up 21 million views. The show will get a 2nd staging October 23rd. (Lamest idea ever for a stage show?)
• Actor Charlie Hunnam (“Sons of Anarchy”) has now dropped out of the role as ‘Christan Grey’ in the upcoming movie adaptation of EL James’ bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Hunnam’s casting sparked outrage across social media from fans who pictured a more ‘distinguished’ actor in the role. A press release blames the move on Hunnam’s ‘immersive TV schedule which is not allowing him time to adequately prepare for the role’. (BS translation: You don’t like me, so I’m outta here!)
– “Entertainment Weekly”
• “Breaking Bad” fans are planning a final goodbye for Bryan Cranston’s character ‘Walter White’ by … holding a funeral. The event is scheduled for this Saturday in Albuquerque NM, where the series was not only set but filmed as well. A memorial complete with headstone will be held at the location where ‘White’ died on the show. Following the service, fans will be able to reminisce about the character at a reception in a local restaurant. Proceeds go to Health Care For the Homeless, a local charity that assists meth addicts. (How apt!)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• And catty 80-year-old TV personality Joan Rivers has been hit with a $15-million lawsuit by one Elizabeth Hazan, who claims Rivers used treachery to drive her out of the condo building where the comedienne has occupied the penthouse for 25 years. Among 41-year-old Hazan’s claims: Rivers cut her TV cable, filled her door locks with glue, spat in her face, and called her a whore in front of her family. Quote: “Her problem with me is that I’m young, she’s old. I’m beautiful, she’s ugly. Without makeup she looks like the Joker in Batman.” (Ouch!)

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Ron Isley f/KEM (“This Song is For You”).
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Nelly (“M.O.”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The celebrities dance for the judges, then face elimination; rapper/singer Aloe Blacc (“Bird’s Eye View”) performs.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ke$ha (“Warrior”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Purity Ring (“Shrines”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Vintage Trouble (“The Bomb Shelter Sessions”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Pixies (“EP1”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Gregory Porter (“Liquid Spirit”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Gavin DeGraw (“Make a Move”, out tomorrow).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The battle rounds begin; celebrity advisers Cher, Ed Sheeran, Miguel, and Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic) help the coaches decide which artists to keep.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Ja Rule (“Pain Is Love 2”).

• Bruno Mars – Today the world premiere of his new video for “Gorilla” screens exclusively on his Facebook page at 3 pm ET.
• Chris Young – He performs Eric Clapton’s classic hit “Change the World” on “Reimagined”, a new online series launched by the Grammy Awards spotlighting contemporary artists performing their own take on Grammy-winning songs.
• Michael Jackson – Wade Robson, the 30-year-old choreographer who’s seeking compensation after claiming he was molested for 7 years, will get a court hearing next June 2nd. The Jackson Estate is fighting the legal action, arguing the deadline has long passed for creditors to file claims.
• Nine Inch Nails / Queens Of the Stone Age – They’re joining forces for a double headlining 8-city tour of Australia and New Zealand in 2014. The first band onstage will be decided each night by … the toss of a coin.
• Pearl Jam – They have a new deal with FOX Sports for extensive use of their music across promotional and music beds for this month’s World Series coverage. The deal includes all 12 tracks from the new album “Lightning Bolt”, plus 36 songs from their back catalog.
• Rihanna – She’s been granted a restraining order against a man who allegedly broke into her LA home. Jonathan Whooper was taken into custody earlier this month after being identified as the suspect who threw a chair through a glass door at her Pacific Palisades home.
• U2 – Bassist Adam Clayton has revealed the band is currently perfecting 12 songs for a new album which will likely be out sometime early next year. He says the sound will be a return to the U2 of old, but with the maturity of the last 10 years.

There’s a restaurant in Brooklyn NY where meals are served … in total silence. The eatery aptly called Eat prohibits talking in order to promote a ‘meditative dining experience’. The head chef says he was inspired to initiate the idea after observing Buddhist monks in India take their breakfast without exchanging words. The silent $40 prix fixe, 4-course meal isn’t an everyday thing, just an occasionally-scheduled event. (Which ironically has people talking about the joint.)
– AP

Researchers from Austria, Brazil, and the UK have examined the levels of stress hormones in cats that live alone, in pairs, or in small groups in the same house. Study highlights …
• The number of felines living under one roof doesn’t seem to affect anxiety levels.
• Cats living in groups organize themselves to avoid one another without getting stressed.
• Kittens under age 2 who live on their own experience more stress than those surrounded by other cats.
• And this may come as a surprise: Your cat might not like it when you pet her. Some cats who tolerate being touched actually get stressed out by the experience.
The researchers advise that cat owners can help alleviate their feline’s stress levels by letting her be in control of her own environment. (As if you have a choice.)

Diagnosing yourself according to what you read online may actually be making you more stressed out and anxious, according to a new Baylor University study. People who suffer from a new brand of hypochondria dubbed ‘cyberchondria’ often end up with unfounded worries, stress, and anxiety. How so? Online searches of symptom checkers give them a slew of possible illnesses and conditions, thus making them even more anxious. Researchers warn there is so much information online, and sometimes it comes from questionable sources.
(If you can’t handle the uncertainty, step away from WebMD.)

Social drinking may help you get a leg up in the workplace, finds a recent study from New Zealand. However, there’s a fine line between sharing Happy Hour with colleagues and being the guy wearing a lampshade at the office Christmas party. A few tips on decorum …
• Order Smart – If the boss is buying, let him or her order first. Then order a similarly priced drink.
• Hold Your Drink in Your Left Hand – The only thing worse than a weak handshake is a clammy one.
• Survive the Rounds – Feel the urge to overshare? Stop or dramatically slow down your intake.
• Don’t say ‘Cheese’ – Always avoid being photographed with booze. Tagged Facebook photos of you holding a drink may come back to haunt you in the future.

Twitter has now moved ahead of Facebook in popularity among young people. A new study finds that 26% of adolescents now prefer Twitter, while Facebook and Instagram are each favored by 23%. The survey of some 8,600 teens shows a shift from a poll earlier this year when Facebook led the list. Just 4% of teens now prefer Tumblr, unchanged from the previous poll, and 3% name Google+, down from 5%. Twitter now reports having 218 million active users worldwide. (Is Facebook’s problem high maintenance, taking up too much of your time?)

Are you in a panic relationship? A few signs you’re only dating someone because you’ve ‘settled’ …
• Your time together is an obligation, not a desire.
• You are reluctant to address the person as your partner.
• You speak more negatively than positively about this person.
• You’ve considered cheating.
• You can’t imagine much of a future for the relationship.

Sprite and similar soft drinks may be the best hangover remedy, Chinese researchers have found. The combination of lemon-lime and soda water seem to help the body better metabolize alcohol, though plain soda water has a similar effect. Hangover symptoms are not caused by alcohol itself but by the process of the body trying to break it down. Sprite seems to help speed along the process. The research team at Sun Yat-Sen University analyzed 57 different drinks in total. Interestingly, some herbal teas actually slowed down the process, prolonging a hangover. (We hope the Coca-Cola Co paid heavily for the promotion.)

45% of all cosmetic surgeries in the world are performed on Americans.


1939 [74] Ralph Lauren (Lipshitz), Bronx NY, fashion designer (Polo, CK Jeans)

1965 [48] Steve Coogan, Middleton UK, comedian/movie actor (“Despicable Me 2 “, “Night At the Museum” films)

1974 [39] Natalie Maines, Lubbock TX, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Travelin’ Soldier”, “Landslide”)

1978 [35] Usher (Raymond), Dallas TX, pop-R&B singer (“OMG”, “Love In This Club”)

1979 [34] Stacy Keibler, Baltimore MD, model (“Maxim”, “Stuff”)/former pro wrestler (WCW, WWE)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2006)/George Clooney’s former girlfriend

1989 [24] Mia Wasikowska, Canberra, Australia, movie actress (“Alice in Wonderland”, “The Kids Are All Right”)

• “Bald & Free Day”, honoring those with a beautiful, shiny top. You don’t have to be bald to celebrate; people who are married to, or related to a bald-headed person are also encouraged to celebrate alongside the honoree. So who’s the best-looking bald celeb?

• “Columbus Day” in America, commemorating  Christopher Columbus’ October 12th, 1492 ‘discovery of the New World’ … which had already been discovered by Vikings, Siberians, Aboriginals, Aztecs, and many others centuries before.

• “Dessert Day”, honoring the tasty treat that tops off dinner. Nowadays just 14% of families regularly consume dessert, as opposed to 24% only 2 decades ago.

• Thanksgiving Day in Canada, observed annually since 1879. Originally the date was changed year-to-year. In 1957, parliament decided it would be observed on the 2nd Monday in October.

• “World Standards Day”, which honors the efforts of the thousands of experts who develop standards for measurement, electronics, and telecommunications with the aim of raising awareness of the importance of standardization to the global economy. (If they can’t even agree on a universal electrical plug, it doesn’t seem to be working.)

1994 [19] Writer-director Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction”, starring John Travolta & Uma Thurman, opens in movie theaters

2003 [10] Chicago Cubs fan Steve Bartman plucks a fly ball out of the air before outfielder Moises Alou can catch it in an NLCS game, causing the Cubs to lose momentum against the Marlins (Florida goes on to win the game and eventually the World Series)

2012 [01] Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner jumps from the stratosphere to break the record for ‘Highest Freefall Jump’ with an altitude of 39,068 meters (128,018 feet or 24 miles)

[Tues] BET Hip-Hop Awards air (BET)
[Tues] Eid al-Adha (Muslim)
[Tues] International Day of Rural Women
[Tues] Cake Decorating Day
[Wed] Take Your Parents to Lunch Day
[Wed] World Food Day

Chestnut Week / Earth Science Week / Food Bank Week / Freedom From Bullies Week / Getting the World to Beat a Path To Your Door Week / School Lunch Week / Take Your Medicine Week / Teen Read Week / Week Without Violence


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Bad breath may be worst first thing in the morning, but also peaks in late afternoon. (After lunch at “Mama Rosa’s Garlic Buffet.”)
• We’re more likely to be turned on by movie sex scenes if the characters involved are strangers rather than married. (Just like real life.)
• Three small snacks are healthier than one big meal after a strenuous workout. (Hmm, how many Twinkies in a package?)
• Nearly half of all mothers of toddlers show signs of depression. (5 hours of “SpongeBob SquarePants” per day would drive anyone to Prozac.)
– First published in “BS” 2004.

• Claims ‘road rage’ was originally his idea.
• Fails you unless you can get the air-bag to pop open.
• Always divides driving class into ‘shirts’ and ‘skins’.
• Touch his dashboard St Christopher statue? Ride home in the trunk!
• Makes you stop at every fire hydrant so he can ‘mark his territory’.
– First published in “BS” 1999.

I was in a book store and asked the sales girl where the ‘Self Help’ section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

How do you decide when it’s appropriate to call in sick for work?

Question: The average adult goes through about 13 lbs (6 kg) of THIS every year.
Answer: Breakfast cereal. (“Women’s World Magazine”).

“Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean we speak the same language.”
– Madonna

Mark Tempest @ MTR24 Burnley UK; Bill Clark @ K-Double-A-M [KAAM] Dallas/Ft Worth TX; Deborah Meyers @ Snellville GA; Kona @ Krater 96 [KRTR] Honolulu HI; Eric Kauffman @ 93.9 KOYN Paris TX; Daniel Brewington @ Santiago Radio, Santiago, Chile; Barry @ Cat Country [CKTY] Truro NS; Nickolai @ GWP FM Durban SA; and Henare Tautari @ Ngati Hine FM Whangarei NZ.

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