Friday, October 15, 2010       Edition: #4365
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

This week Lindsay Lohan & a fellow inmate at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage CA got caught trying to escape the rehab center’s grounds in an attempt to score Coke – of the cola variety (another in her long line of great ideas) . . . “The Star” tabloid may have it in for Ashton Kutcher, but “National Enquirer” is all over John Travolta, claiming he’s been caught having an affair and it’s all on tape, which is oh-so-humiliating to wife Kelly Preston just weeks before she’s due to give birth (at age 48) . . . 22-year-old actor Zac Efron says he hates watching himself onscreen because he’s embarrassed by his ‘huge’ head (lots of movie/TV types have this – check out Travolta!) . . . 50-year-old actress Jennifer Grey (“Dirty Dancing”) admits she almost had Botox before “’Dancing With the Stars” began shooting, but her husband Clark Gregg convinced her she looks great as she is (somebody give that guy an award!) . . . 75-year-old rock ‘n roll pioneer and legendary wildman Jerry Lee Lewis has a new book deal to pen an as-yet-untitled memoir due in 2012 (among his accomplishments – marrying his 13-year-old cousin) . . . 34-year-old actor Colin Farrell has reportedly ended his 2-year relationship with Polish actress Alicja Bachleda-Curus, the mother of his 12-month-old son Henry, because he ‘doesn’t want to be tied down to anyone’ (how to take responsibility, dude) . . . Reports suggest actor Liam Neeson has found love again, just a year after the tragic death of wife Natasha Richardson, as he’s been spotted dating flight attendant Leslie Slater, whom he met on a flight to Paris 6 weeks ago (“Sir, are you in the upright position?”) . . . And FOX-TV has picked up a comedy series about a Midwestern woman who moves into a NYC apartment with 3 juvenile guys; the working title – “Chicks & Dicks” (you can bet that’ll never flash across your screen).

• “DeLuana Fest” (Pensacola Beach FL) – This 3-day benefit concert for victims of the Gulf oil spill features performances by Daughtry, Dierks Bentley, Stone Temple Pilots, and Willie Nelson on the event’s final day, which is free.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Florence & The Machine (“Lungs”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – MIA (“Maya”); The XX (“XX”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Billy Currington performs his 6th #1 country single, “Pretty Good at Drinkin’ Beer”, from his album “Enjoy Yourself”.
• “On the Beach” (Gulf Shores AL) – This free weekend concert series, designed to attract visitors back to the Gulf coast post oil spill, features Bon Jovi tonight and Brad Paisley Sunday.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Amy Poehler (“Parks & Recreation”) hosts; Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream”) is musical guest.
• “Speaking Clock Revue” –  T Bone Burnett leads a group of musician friends in a series of concerts, beginning Saturday with Neko Case and others in Boston MA. Wednesday (October 20th) in NYC, he’ll be joined by Elton John, Elvis Costello, Gregg Allman, and John Mellencamp, along with My Morning Jacket’s Jim James.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight John Legend (“Wake Up!”).

• Dierks Bentley – Sunday he hosts his 5th annual “Miles & Music for Kids” celebrity motorcycle ride & benefit concert with special guests Miranda Lambert & Jerrod Niemann. Overall the event has raised $1.2 million for children’s hospitals in Nashville, Phoenix, Dallas, and Atlanta.
• Katy Perry – Word has it that her & fiancé Russell Brand’s buddies are heading to India for their wedding next week. Sources say the event will be themed, with guests asked to all wear the same color. Problem is, nobody yet knows what color. (Oh please, just do it and quit talking about it!)
• Kid Rock – He’s taken issue with his Las Vegas impersonator, Craig Kory, after he was photographed groping reality TV star Tila Tequila and didn’t make it clear he wasn’t the real deal. As a result, websites and magazines like “Rolling Stone” were duped into printing the pics and mistakenly identifying the lookalike as the Kid.
• Lady Gaga – She has just 2 nominations for the “2010 American Music Awards” (November 21st) despite dominating the music industry for the past year. She has 20 million Facebook followers and her album “The Fame” notched its 100th week on the “Billboard” chart earlier this month. (To show how flawed the AMAs are … Justin Bieber has twice as many nominations.)
• TI – Today he’s heading back to court to face probation violation charges after that September 1st drug bust in LA. He’s likely to get more jail time, the question is how much. He’s already done 10 months on weapons charges. Talking a suicidal man down from the ledge of a 22-story Atlanta building on Wednesday may have helped his cause. (Maybe he hired the guy?)
• Toby Keith – “Bullets In the Gun” has become the 4th #1 album of his career.
• Trace Adkins – He tells “Chelsea Lately” (E!) that fellow country singer Blake Shelton is “like working with an animal … he’s not very smart”. (Ouch!)

• “Conviction” ( R-Rated Bio-Drama ): Hilary Swank plays a high school dropout and single mother who spends nearly 2 decades putting herself through law school in order to overturn her brother’s unjust murder conviction. Co-stars Sam Rockwell, Melissa Leo. Based on a true story. Shot in Michigan.
• “Jackass 3D” (  R-Rated Action Comedy ): Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam Margera and company return for the third installment of their TV show spin-off, in which dangerous stunts and explicit public displays rule. 3-D cameras should ratchet up the grossness of the 2002 and 2006 versions even further.
• “RED” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ):  Bruce Willis stars as a former CIA black-ops agent who reassembles his old (in every way) team in a last ditch effort to survive when his life is threatened by a high-tech assassin. Co-stars Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker. ‘RED’ stands for ‘Retired, Extremely Dangerous’. Shot in Toronto.

A new survey of almost 3,000 Facebook users reveals some surprising stats about its usage …
• 85% of users have looked up an ex on Facebook.
• 70% have used Facebook to flirt.
• 59% have become jealous over their partner’s interactions with someone else on Facebook.
• 29% say that a wall post or photo has gotten them in trouble with their significant other.
• 24% of those who don’t list their true relationship status do so to ‘keep their options open’.
• 23% have sent a friend request to an attractive stranger.
• 11% of female users have posted provocative pics to attract the attention of guys.
• 9% have hacked into an ex’s Facebook account.
• 5% admit they’ve cheated on their significant other in some way that involves Facebook.
• 3% have broken up with someone by canceling their relationship status.

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … money CAN buy happiness, and even love. Researchers at Nottingham University have found that fully 97% of lottery jackpot winners surveyed were just as happy or happier after winning. As well, more of the winners were married after winning than before. (It’s amazing how a few million makes you look less ugly.)
• Scientists say … fat-free foods aren’t always more nutritious. According to a study in the “Journal of Clinical Nutrition”, vegetables need to be eaten with oil, butter, or a creamy dip in order for their beneficial cancer-fighting nutrients to be absorbed by the human body. (You also need something on ‘em in order to get your kids to eat ‘em.)
• Scientists say … marijuana may lessen the effects of Alzheimer’s. Researchers in Madrid, Spain have found that an active ingredient in it reduces the inflammation associated with the disease and thus eases the symptoms. (You feel better, but you still can’t remember how you got here or what your name is.)

How often do you wash your blue jeans? After each wearing? Once a month? According to some enthusiasts, you’re destroying them! Blogger ‘Dr Denim’ says the most enthusiastic denim lovers will wear their new jeans 6 months before the first washing, then 3 months before a second washing. Carl Chiara of Levi Strauss & Co tells “Wall Street Journal” that at the 6-month mark, he soaks his jeans in the bathtub with some very mild soap and lets them air-dry. That’s it. There is also an environmental spin to this issue: The UN has put out a video encouraging people to wash their jeans less often. (Chic or not … we won’t wear them after they’re crusty.)

• Marijuana is addictive for about 9% of adults who use it, compared with about 15% who use alcohol and 15% who use cocaine, according to the latest data. (Based on a study of Lindsay Lohan.)
– “Los Angeles Times”
• Roughly 3-out-of-4 Tweets are ignored. Social media analytics company Sysomos studied 1.2 billion Twitter posts made over the past 2 months and found that 71% elicited neither a retweet nor a reply. (A sign the fad’s over?)


1959 [51] Emeril Lagasse, Fall River MA, TV chef (Food Network’s “Essence of Emeril”, “Emeril Live”)/restaurateur (a string of restaurants in Las Vegas, Orlando, etc)/his various endeavors generate an estimated $150 million annually

1959 [51] Sarah Ferguson (‘Fergie’), London UK, Duchess of York/Prince Andrew’s ex/former Weight Watchers spokesperson/sometime newspaper columnist

1970 [40] Ginuwine (Elgin Baylor Lumpkin), Washington DC, hip-hop artist (“In Those Jeans”, “Differences”)

1981 [29] Keyshia Cole, Oakland CA, R&B singer/songwriter (“Heaven Sent”, “I Remember”)

Baseball analyst Tim McCarver (FOX) is 69; Movie actor Tim Robbins (“Shawshank Redemption”) is 52; Rock bassist Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers) is 48; Pop singer/songwriter John Mayer (“Waiting On the World to Change”) is 33.

Country singer Alan Jackson (“Country Boy”) is 52; Rapper Eminem (“Love the Way You Lie”) is 38; Pop singer Wyclef Jean (The Fugees) is 38.

• “Bosses Day”, an observance since 1958 in which employees are encouraged to ‘honor the boss with a small gift or greeting card’. (Also known as ‘Brown Nosers Day’.)
• “Global Handwashing Day”, the 3rd annual as part of a campaign to motivate people everywhere to wash their hands with soap, a key factor in disease prevention.
• “International Day of Rural Women”, a UN observance since 2008. (Well gosh, how should we celebrate … have a quilting bee or bake some biscuits?)
• “Mammography Day”, a “Breast Cancer Awareness Month” reminder of the importance of regular testing.
• “My Mom Is a Student Day”, when kids are encouraged to show support for moms who’ve gone back to school by giving gifts of school supplies.
• “National Grouch Day”, a day to be grumpy, ungrateful and cantankerous, and a day to allow grouches everywhere time to spout off.
• “White Cane Safety Day”, an annual date set aside since 1964 to celebrate the achievements of the visually impaired and their important tool of independence, the white cane.
• “World Poetry Day”, a good day to sample some ‘modern poetry’ by reading the inane lyrics to a hit song over a mushy violin background track. You can find lots of dumb lyrics online here …

• “Bridge Day”, the largest extreme sports event & largest gathering of BASE jumpers in the world, held annually on the 3rd Saturday of October at the 876-ft-high New River Gorge Bridge in Fayetteville, West Virginia. Over 450 BASE jumpers from over 10 countries will leap from the bridge; hundreds of rappellers will descend on ropes; up to 200,000 spectators are expected.
• “Dictionary Day”, celebrating the 1758 birth of Noah Webster, one of the most famous of lexicographers, who 1st published “Webster’s Dictionary” in 1828.
• “World Food Day”, as declared annually by the UN. The 2010 theme: “United Against Hunger”.

• “International Day For the Eradication of Poverty”, a UN observance since 1993.
• “Wear Something Gaudy Day”. Well, nice to see [co-host] is dressed for the occasion!

2007 [03] Drew Carey begins hosting TV game show “The Price is Right” as its 36th season begins, taking over from long-time host Bob Barker, who retires at age 84

1973 [37] Patsy Cline becomes the first female solo performer inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame

1981 [29] 1st ‘wave’ created in an NFL stadium by professional cheerleader George Henderson (aka ‘Krazy George’) at Oakland-Alameda Coliseum, Oakland CA

1993 [17] ‘World’s Largest Cookie’ measures 1,001 sq ft and includes 3 million chocolate chips (Arcadia CA)

[Mon] Chocolate Cupcake Day
[Mon] World Menopause Day
[Tues] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Wed] Medical Assistants Recognition Day
[Wed] Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
[Wed] MOBO Awards (London)
This Week Is … Freedom From Bullies at Work Week
This Month Is … Depression Education & Awareness Month


5. Cheating Tiger Woods … after his wife got through with him. Don your preppy golf clothes, grab your 9 iron, and top it all off with a fake black eye and bandages all over your face.
4. Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino while on “Dancing With the Stars”. Break out your self-tanner, sunglasses, a long ‘man necklace’, extra strength hair gel, and … your fancy dancing shoes.
3. Steven Slater (or disgruntled stewardess if you’re female). Put together a flight attendant costume and carry a homemade “F-you! I Quit!” sign. Bonus marks for an emergency slide.
2. Lady Gaga in her meat dress. Make a dress with kids’ play food, dog toys, rawhide, dog bones, and fake blood. Dress up your hair with those pig ears Fido loves to chew on!
1. The Gulf oil spill. Drench yourself in black paint and attach stuffed animals painted black to your outfit. Or slap on a helmet & lamp and – voila! – you’re a rescued Chilean miner!
– Adapted from

Are ‘murses’ moving into the mainstream? Here in Paris, men of all types – students, office workers, even tradesmen – are carrying bags. They come in a variety of styles – many look like a laptop case; others are luxury leather zip-ups carried one-handed; and some resemble hippie-era fringe totes. What’s interesting is, no one seems to notice. No smirks; no stares; no pointing or whispering … likely because virtually every guy has one. So macho men, what would it take for you to feel comfortable carrying a purse?
– From an idea in

Never moon a werewolf.

Today’s Question: If you’re average, when you fall in love you will lose two of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Friends. (“TIME”)

May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

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