There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
Greetings, Sheeters! We’re back at it, shovelin’ the Bull. All subscribers have received account credits for missed service days during our week-long vay-cay.
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• NBC-TV’s first-ever “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice” starts shooting this morning for a March 2013 premiere. The slate of contenders includes 13 players fired from past contests, plus 1 notable winner. Among them: country music star Trace Adkins; wacky actor Stephen Baldwin; wackier actor Gary Busey; rapper Lil Jon; Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider; sorta singer La Toya Jackson; and Poison frontman Bret Michaels, who won in 2010 despite life-threatening health issues. (All-star series are the new reality TV trend. How about “All-Star American Idol”?)
• Rock icon Eric Clapton has made a huge profit from the sale of an artwork from his private collection. He bought “Abstraktes Bild (809-4)” by German artist Gerhard Richter in 2001 as part of a set of 4 paintings for $3.4 million. It was expected to attract $19 million at a Sotheby’s auction in London but instead fetched $34.2 million from an anonymous buyer just 5 minutes into the sale. That breaks the record for price paid at auction for the work of a living artist, set in 2010 with the $28.6 million-sale of Jasper Johns’ “Flag”. (Slightly more than the 2 bucks you got for that ‘Velvet Elvis’ at your garage sale this Summer.)
• Rihanna and Chris Brown are ready to go public with their relationship next month after she releases her new album (see BS Music Notes). The couple – who recently reconciled even though he’s still on probation for physically assaulting her in 2009 – are reportedly ready to stop ‘sneaking around’ according to a source close to Rihanna. They are apparently unconcerned with any potential commercial backlash. (Would you boycott her music? How about his?)
• A source close to Katie Holmes says the former Mrs Tom Cruise hates being single … and her dad knows it. They have always been incredibly close and he’s made it his mission to try to find her a new guy. The 33-year-old actress and fashion designer has been focusing all her energy until recently on 6-year-old daughter Suri, who just started private school in NYC. But now her lawyer-father Martin is eager to see her focus on making herself happier and wants to play matchmaker for his daughter. (Cuz every girl wants an arranged marriage, no?)
• “Glee” star Cory Monteith has lost 20 lbs thanks to co-star-girlfriend Lea Michele’s ‘encouragement’. She’s a vegan who eats organic and she’s reportedly totally changed his eating habits. He credits the weight-loss to ‘doing CrossFit and eating fewer Snickers bars’. And Cory has apparently had a positive effect on Lea as well, friends saying she’s ‘much less miserable these days’. (Not that that would take a lot of effort …)
• Supermodel-turned-TV titan Tyra Banks is turning her attentions to a scripted series, selling a TV comedy based on her early life. The 38-year-old moved from the runway to the small-screen when she created “America’s Next Top Model” in 2003, which has now run for 19 cycles. She also had a measure of success hosting her own talk show (2005-10), but now she’s moving into comedy after penning a script inspired by her teenage years and her rise from schoolgirl to fashion star. The show, called “Fivehead”, has been picked up by ABC-TV. (A ‘four-head’ is when you can fit 4 fingers between your eyebrows and hairline; you have a ‘fivehead’ if you have an abnormally large forehead … like Tyra, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Rachel McAdams.)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars All-Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Choreographer Paula Abdul serves as guest judge.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Script w/will.i.am (“#3”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Gord Downie (Tragically Hip).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Josh Turner (“Punching Bag”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Chairlift (“Does You Inspire You”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Animal Collective (“Centipede Hz”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Whigs (“Enjoy the Company”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Neon Trees (“Picture Show”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Trisha Yearwood (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Successful recording artists assist the coaches as vocalists perform.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Seems she will NOT be starring in Clint Eastwood’s remake of “A Star Is Born” after all, due to ‘scheduling conflicts’. (A catch-all show biz term for disagreements that will be kept under wraps.)
• Britney Spears – She’s confirmed she will guest on will.i.am’s upcoming solo album, “#willpower” (out December 10th), dueting with him on a track called “Scream and Shout”.
• Dierks Bentley – Yesterday his 7th annual “Miles & Music for Kids” in Nashville TN included performances by Sheryl Crow and Chris Young. The celebrity motorcycle ride and concert has raised over $2 million for Children’s Miracle Network hospitals at 12 events in 7 cities.
• Justin Bieber – Tonight he plays a sold-out concert in Edmonton and let’s hope he gets his GPS coordinated. At his Calgary show Friday night he shouted out: “How are you doing, Edmonton!?!?” Not a popular blunder in either of the longtime-rival Alberta burgs.
• Lady Gaga – She’s become the first person to have 30 million Twitter followers.
• Luke Bryan – He’s launching his first headlining trek, the “Dirt Road Diaries Tour”, which will kick off in Evansville, Indiana on January 17th.
• Queen – Guitarist Brian May has confirmed a planned Freddie Mercury bio-pic is on track for an early 2014 release. Filming is scheduled to start in the Spring, with Sacha Baron Cohen playing the late rock icon. (Think Cohen can pull off a serious role?)
• Rihanna – She has confirmed her new album will be called “Unapologetic” and it drops on November 19th worldwide. This is the 4th November in-a-row that she’s released a new album (“Rated R” in 2009, “Loud” in 2010, “Talk That Talk” in 2011).
• Taylor Swift – “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” has skyrocketed all the way from #21 to #1 on the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart this week.
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
You’re likely familiar with hurricane names like Alberto, Beryl, and Chris. Now get ready for Athena, Brutus, and Caesar. Those are the first 3 alphabetical names the Weather Channel plans to hang on Winter storms for the 2012-13 season, similar to how the National Hurricane Center designates tropical storms. The idea has received an icy review from some. The US National Weather Service, for instance, notes that a Winter storm’s impact can vary from one location to another, and storms can weaken and redevelop, making it difficult to define where one ends and another begins. (This will never work in Canada … there are only 26 letters in the alphabet.)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”
WHY GUILT IS GOOD:
Those who feel shame and remorse more strongly than others make better friends, better employees and better partners, suggests a new Carnegie Mellon University study. In tests, those with higher levels of guilt have been found more likely to be trustworthy and caring, to be sympathetic, to see other people’s point of view, and to consider the consequences of their own behavior. The researchers note that being prone to guilt is not the same thing as feeling guilty AFTER doing something wrong. Those who are ‘guilt-prone’ anticipate having negative feelings BEFORE they do something morally wrong. (As opposed to ‘Lohan Syndrome’.)
ACTUAL AIRPORT SECURITY BLUNDERS:
Are we safer since 9/11? These embarrassing US Transportation Security Administration incidents make you wonder …
✗ 2010 … A bladder cancer survivor gets soaked in urine when agents bust his urostomy bag in a pat-down.
✗ 2010 … Cancer survivor forced to remove her prosthetic breast during frisking.
✗ 2011 … A 95-year-old woman with leukemia is forced to remove her adult diaper.
✗ 2012 … 4-year-old gets pat-down after hugging her grandmother in line.
✗ 2012 … 3-year-old in wheelchair whisked away from his parents and vigorously searched.
– Condensed from TheToiletPaper.com
AWW, LOOK AT THE WIDDLE FUZZY WUZZY:
Seeing pictures of cute animals may boost workers’ performance in jobs that require concentration, a team at Japan’s Hiroshima University has shown. The study, which involved 130 university students, showed that looking at pictures of baby animals can improve concentration by as much as 10%. Researchers also found that people who look at pictures of baby animals perform better than those who look at pics of adult animals. (A life-size portrait of a Giant Squid, for instance.)
– “The Independent”
DID YOU KNOW?
Facebook’s population is now as large as that of the entire world in 1804. (However, in 1804 a ‘friend’ was actually a friend.)
– “The Atlantic”
BS CHRONOMETER 10.15.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959  Emeril Lagasse, Fall River MA, TV chef (Food Network’s “Essence of Emeril”, “Emeril Live”)/restaurateur (a string of restaurants in Las Vegas, Orlando, etc)
1959  Sarah Ferguson (‘Fergie’), London UK, Duchess of York/Prince Andrew’s ex/former Weight Watchers spokesperson/sometime newspaper columnist
1970  Ginuwine (Elgin Baylor Lumpkin), Washington DC, hip-hop artist (“Last Chance”, “In Those Jeans”)
1981  Keyshia Cole, Oakland CA, R&B singer-songwriter (“Enough of No Love”, “I Remember”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day”, an annual chance to put things away, delete things you don’t need, and to get some structure in place on your computer screen. Just look at all those icons sitting around collecting virtual dust!
• “Global Handwashing Day”, the 5th annual as part of a campaign to motivate people everywhere to wash their hands with soap, a key factor in disease prevention.
• “International Day of Rural Women”, a UN observance since 2008. (Well gosh, how should we celebrate … have a quilting bee or bake some biscuits?)
• “National Grouch Day”, a day to be grumpy, ungrateful and cantankerous, and a day to allow grouches everywhere time to spout off.
• “White Cane Safety Day”, an annual date set aside since 1964 to celebrate the achievements of the visually impaired and their important tool of independence, the white cane.
• “World Poetry Day”, a good day to sample some ‘modern poetry’ by reading the inane lyrics to a hit song over a mushy violin background track. You can find lots of dumb lyrics here …
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007  Drew Carey begins hosting TV game show “The Price is Right” as its 36th season begins, taking over from long-time host Bob Barker who retires at age 84
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1977  Saccharin hit “You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone peaks at #1 on the pop singles chart and stays there for an ear-torturing 10 weeks
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011  Global economic protests break out in 951 cities in 82 countries
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993  ‘World’s Largest Cookie’ measures 1,001 square feet and includes 3 million chocolate chips (Arcadia, California)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Boss’ Day
[Tues] Department Store Day
[Tues] Dictionary Day
[Tues] Feral Cat Day
[Tues] World Food Day
[Wed] Medical Assistants Recognition Day
[Wed] Mulligan Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Earth Science Week / Fall Astronomy Week / Freedom From Bullies Week / Freedom of Speech Week / Food & Drug Interactions Awareness Week / Food Bank Week / Getting the World To Beat a Path To Your Door Week / Medical Assistants Recognition Week / Teen Read Week / World Rainforest Week
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS ‘FIVE-IN-TEN GAME’:
Contestant gets 10 seconds to list 5 things in each category …
• 5 sports only girls play.
• 5 kinds of soup.
• 5 excuses for getting home late.
• 5 places you might hide a birthday gift.
• 5 noises your body can make excluding talking.
TRUTH OR BS?
Are the following statements true or just a load of hooey?
• The name ‘bobsledding’ comes from the early belief that if the sledders bobbed their heads back and forth, it would help increase their speed. [Dumb … but TRUE.]
• The world’s smartest pig, owned by a math teacher in Madison, Wisconsin, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12-times. [BS]
• The original inspiration for ‘Barbie’ dolls came from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. [BS]
• When baseball was first played, teams had a second catcher behind the regular catcher whose job was to field foul balls. [TRUE]
• The band Pearl Jam is named for lead singer Eddie Vedder’s grandmother. [TRUE. Her name was ‘Jam’?]
– First published in “BS” 2004.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Who was your imaginary friend as a child?
WHO SAID IT?
• “Will you love me even though I’m throwing up on stage?” [Justin Bieber]
• “You can’t say I’m afraid of commitment. I’ve been married 5 times!” [Kenny Rogers]
BS RANDOM JOKE:
There are only 2 kinds of people: those who agree with me … and idiots.
BS WEB GOODIES:
• Things to do with bull’s balls …
• What your beer says about your politics …
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: If you lose your cellphone, it’s statistically most likely you lost it HERE.
Answer: Coffee shop.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
BS FRESH MEAT:
Welcome aboard to this week’s “BS” samplers who include Christiaan Leduc @ Serious Radio [3FM] Hilversum, The Netherlands; Andy Butler @ Off The Chart Radio, UK; Paul Anderson @ East Idaho Country [KZBQ] Pocatello, Idaho; Nicholas Wiste @ KQ98 [KQYB] La Crosse, Wisconsin; Arye @ Chai FM, Johannesburg JHB, South Africa; Martin @ Rock FM [4RFM] Moranbah QLD, Australia; Ryan Annett @ 97.4 Cool FM Belfast, Northern Ireland; Mohammed Lansah @ CITI FM Accra, Ghana; Mr K @ Asian Star Radio, London UK; and Matthias Magnusson @ Rás 2 [Channel 2] Reykjavík, Iceland.