Thursday, October 15, 2015           Edition: #5350

Here’s More Bull Roar!

★ “Game of Thrones” star Emilia Clarke has been named “Esquire” magazine’s ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ for 2015. The 28-year-old Londoner plays menacing, white-haired ‘Daenerys Targaryen’, aka ‘Khaleesi’, aka ‘Mother of Dragons’, in the HBO series. Earlier this year she starred as ‘Sarah Connor’ in the movie “Terminator: Genisys”. A spokesperson says Clarke was hands-down the #1 choice of the magazine’s staff. It’s not her only magazine honor this year; “GQ” got there first, anointing her its ‘Woman Of the Year’ in September.
★ If you like him on “American Idol”, maybe you’ll like him on daytime TV. Harry Connick Jr is getting his own TV variety show. “Harry” will premiere in September 2016 on FOX-TV. The show will feature on-the-street interviews, live musical performances, and parodies, as well as ‘surprises’, promises NBCUniversal Domestic TV. So far, “Harry” is set to air on the FOX-owned stations in 17 markets, but is also up for grabs in syndication elsewhere.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ Oscar-winning actor Denzel Washington has signed on to direct an episode of ABC-TV’s “Grey’s Anatomy” during the currently airing Season 12. Washington will helm the 9th episode, which is scheduled to start shooting later this month. Washington’s well versed in directing, having previously helmed the movies “Antwone Fisher” (2002) and “The Great Debaters” (2007). Denzel has more big plans for TV, recently announcing he’s producing 10 of Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright August Wilson’s works in a deal with HBO.
★ And Lena Dunham’s “Max”, a half-hour comedy about second-wave feminism in the early 1960s, has received a pilot order by HBO. Set in 1963, the story follows ‘Maxine Woodruff’ (played by Lisa Joyce), a low-level magazine writer who may be in over her head with the women’s movement. Dunham is co-producing and directing the new project. “Max” is Dunham’s first pilot since bringing “Girls” to the small-screen in 2012.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Duran Duran (“Paper Gods”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Handsome Ghost (“Steps”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Raury (“All We Need”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Judith Hill (“Cry Cry Cry”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Big Freedia (“Just Be Free”).
• “Today” (NBC) – Vance Joy performs “Fire and the Flood”.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Pentatonix (“Pentatonix”).

• Coldplay – They’re reportedly set to make history by headlining Glastonbury for the 4th time next year. Organizer Michael Eavis is said to have lined them up to close the 2016 edition of the legendary UK Summer festival, making them the first act to headline more than 3 times.
• Eric Church – The country star has been chosen to enter the North Carolina Hall Of Fame. Today the Granite Falls native is officially inducted, joining the likes of James Taylor, Del Reeves, Charlie Daniels, and … ahem … Clay Aiken.
• Green Day – Today they release “Heart Like a Hand Grenade” in select North American movie theaters, a long-lost documentary covering the making of their 2004 album “American Idiot”. An international release is coming November 11th.
• Kanye West – His 2005 mega-hit “Gold Digger” was originally written for rapper Shawnna’s debut album “Worth Tha Wait”. Fortunately for ‘Ye, he decided to hang onto it himself.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s planning to appear nude during her upcoming “Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz” tour with The Flaming Lips. Frontman Wayne Coyne shares the news on Instagram, claiming he and his collaborator will bare all in a new music video that will screen during the show. Their first stop is Chicago IL on November 19th.
• Pink Floyd – Extra movie theater showings of “Roger Waters: The Wall” are screening tonight–through-Sunday. Fathom Events is presenting the encore showings in nearly 250 select movie theaters.
• Trey Songz – He’s been slapped with an unpaid tax bill by the IRS. The “Bottoms Up” singer has been handed an ultimatum in Miami FL, informing him that he owes $749,000 in unpaid back-taxes relating to his 2013 income.
• The Weeknd – He has digitally released 2 remixes of “The Hills”. One version features Nicki Minaj and the other boasts an appearance from Eminem. He first surprised audiences by performing the remix with Nicki Minaj on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” last weekend.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Bridget Jones’s Baby” – Renée Zellweger and Colin Firth are reprising their roles in the Brit comedy series after a 12-year hiatus. The story centers on the next chapter of Bridget’s life, when she finds herself unexpectedly expecting a child. The latest instalment is slated for bigscreen release on September 16, 2016.
• “Moana” – An unknown Hawaiian teen has been signed to voice the title character in this new Disney production. 14-year-old Oahu native Auli’i Cravalho is assuming the titular role in the Dwayne Johnson-led new animated project. Johnson is providing the voice of a god named ‘Maui’ in the film, which is set to hit cinemas in November 2016.
• “The Rosie Project” – Jennifer Lawrence has dropped out of this romantic dramedy based on  the novel by Graeme Simsion. The story follows a genetics professor who comes up with a scientific formula to find the perfect mate. His plans go awry when he meets ‘Rosie’, who has all the opposite qualities he’s looking for. Finding a new star for the film has become a priority.
• “War For the Planet Of the Apes” – Steve Zahn is joining Woody Harrelson in the latest installment of the sci-fi franchise. Zahn’s performance will be realized using motion capture technology, which brought to life Andy Serkis’ ‘Caesar’ in the 2 earlier installments of the series. The latest episode is set to hit movie theaters in July 2017.
• “Z-Men” – Lionsgate Films is teaming with comic book publisher Double Take to turn this zombie-themed graphic novel into a movie. The story is set in the time and place of the horror classic “Night Of the Living Dead”, when agents ‘Stuart’ and ‘Clancy’ of the ‘Secret Service’ are asked to track down a zombie. They soon find themselves swept up in an apocalypse.

“Friday the 13th: The Game” has been announced on Kickstarter. The multi-player survival horror game allows players to take control of murderous psychopath ‘Jason Vorhees’, one of the most iconic bigscreen killers of all-time. It’s described as a multi-player survival game with 1 player controlling the hockey mask-wearing psychopath and 7 others playing camp counselors trying to escape from ‘Camp Crystal Lake’. The makers claim the killer vs victim dynamic is something that’s not yet been fully realized in videogames. There are numerous rewards on offer for backers depending on how much they donate. For $10,000 you get to be immortalized as one of the camp counselors in the game.
– Bang Showbiz

✓ “Cecil’s Revenge” – The costume depicting the slaughtered lion attacking the dentist who shot him costs $140, with proceeds going to PETA. You can recreate this on your own, of course, with a white lab coat, dentist tools, and a plush lion on your back drawing fake blood.
✓ ‘Pizza Rat’ – An homage to the recent viral video of a pizza-carrying rat in the NYC subway. Outfit your dog with a slice attached to the collar or use a mouse costume to assume the role yourself.
✓ Left Shark – Katy Perry’s halftime show at the 2015 Super Bowl was memorable, thanks in part to one of her backup dancers, a bored-looking out-of-step shark. Recycle your “Jaws” outfit and you’re all set.
✓ ‘Halloween Whopper & Green Poop’ – Burger King’s special edition Whopper with a black bun recently earned instant notoriety for its … er … ‘digestive effect’. Burger costumes are easily had, the other part you’ll need to ad lib.
✓ ‘Donald Trump’ – Look like a billion bucks with just a business suit and a really bad blondish toupée. Don’t forget the flag pin, heavy bronzer, and the ‘Make America Great’ hat.
– Condensed from

A new Ohio State University study suggests that previous research on walking may be missing a big variable about its effectiveness as it’s focused on speed-walking at a consistent pace. The new study claims there are easy methods of burning more calories while walking more casually. Among them …
• Strolling at different speeds burns up to 20% more energy than going at the same pace.
• Up to 8% of the energy we use walking comes from stopping and starting, so instead of concentrating on distance consider walking a series of short spurts.
• To burn even more energy walk ‘weirdly’ … in a curve, carrying a backpack, or with weights on your legs.
(Don’t strut … saunter.)

Many of these dishes are not seen as odd in their areas of origin, but to the rest of us there is definitely something a tad off-putting about each …
✗ Red Ant Chutney (India)
✗ Stuffed Goat Kid (Saudi Arabia)
✗ Brain Tacos (Italy)
✗ Stuffed Pig Rectum Sausage (France)
✗ Fish Sperm Crêpes (France)
✗ Stuffed Dormice (Ancient Rome)
✗ Uterus Sausage (Ancient Rome)
✗ Caterpillar Pretzels (Mexico)
✗ Bee Larvae in Coconut Cream (Thailand)
✗ Stir-Fried Heart (China)
– Sourced from “List Universe”

The US Pentagon actually has a plan for combating the zombie apocalypse (called CONOP 8888).


1959 [56] Emeril Lagasse, Fall River MA, TV chef (“Essence of Emeril”, “Emeril Live”)/restaurateur (a string of eateries in Las Vegas, Orlando, etc)

1969 [46] Kimberly Schlapman, Cornelia GA, country singer (Little Big Town-“Girl Crush”, “Pontoon”)

1970 [45] Ginuwine (Elgin Baylor Lumpkin), Washington DC, hip-hop artist (“Last Chance”, “In Those Jeans”)

1981 [34] Keyshia Cole, Oakland CA, R&B singer-songwriter (“Enough of No Love”, “I Remember”)

• “Conflict Resolution Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Thursday of October. It began in 2005 to promote conciliation, mediation, and other ways of dealing to achieve peaceful resolution to conflicts.

• “Get Smart About Credit Day”, when bankers and members of the credit industry give talks and presentations at schools, colleges, and workplaces on the importance of good financial management.

• “Global Handwashing Day”, the 8th annual as part of a campaign to motivate people everywhere to wash their hands with soap, a key factor in disease prevention.

• “Grouch Day”, a day to be grumpy, ungrateful, and cantankerous, and a day to allow grouches everywhere time to spout off.

• “International Day of Rural Women”, a UN observance since 2008.

• “Mushroom Day”, saluting the fungus among us. And you thought you were the only thing kept in the dark and fed crap.

• “White Cane Safety Day”, an annual date set aside since 1964 to celebrate the achievements of the visually impaired and their important tool of independence, the white cane.

2007 [08] Drew Carey begins hosting TV game show “The Price is Right” as its 36th season begins, taking over from long-time host Bob Barker who retires at age 84

2011 [04] Global economic protests break out in 951 cities in 82 countries

2010 [05] In the Swiss Alps, final breakthrough occurs on the east bore of the Gotthard Base Tunnel, now the ‘World’s Longest Railway Tunnel’ with a route length of 57 km or 35 miles (expected to fully open in June 2016)

[Fri] “Bridge of Spies”; “Crimson Peak”; “Goosebumps” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Alternative Fuel Day
[Fri] Feral Cat Day
[Sat] Wear Something Gaudy Day
[Sun] World Menopause Day
This Week Is … Take Your Medicine Week
This Month Is … Eat Better, Eat Together Month


• ‘Jack the Clipper’
• ‘The Best Little Hair House’
• ‘Choppers’
• ‘Grateful Head’
• ‘Running With Scissors’
• ‘British Hairways’
• ‘Dude, I’m So Buzzed’
• ‘Get The Hell Out Of Hair!’
• ‘Curl Up & Dye’
• ‘Clipping Penalty’

You just experienced a ‘sternutatory reflex’. What happened to you?
a. You hiccupped.
b. You sneezed. [CORRECT]
c. You ‘fluffied’.
– “Community Dictionary”

☎ What ridiculously weird things did you (or your kids) actually get while trick-or-treating on Halloween?

Two of these are facts, one is pure BS. But which one?
1. Ancient Egyptians never looked at the Moon, believing to do so brought bad luck. [BS]
2. In ancient Egypt, some people fed their statues every day.
3. Ancient Egyptians mummified cats and mice.
– “Fact or Crap”

I have 6 locks on my door all in-a-row. When I go out, I lock ever other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking 3.

Question: Over half of men polled say they are absolutely certain they have a great WHAT?
Answer: Butt.

Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.

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