Monday, October 20, 2014        Edition: #5320

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

“BS” is back! All subscribers have been credited for 2 weeks of missed service days during our annual hiatus in Paris. As usual, it was ooh-la-la.

★ Movie actors Rachel McAdams (“Midnight in Paris”) and Ryan Reynolds (“The Proposal”), and musicians The Band and Jeff Healey are among the 2014 inductees honored by Canada’s Walk of Fame on Saturday night. The recipients’ stars will join those of other famed Canadians that are displayed along the sidewalks in downtown Toronto.
★ Archaeologists have rediscovered a 15-foot-tall, 91-year-old giant sphinx used as a prop in “The Ten Commandments” hidden in the sand dunes of Guadalupe, California. The plaster sphinx was one of 21 featured prominently in filmmaker Cecil B DeMille’s 1923 epic movie. The legendary director later remade the silent film, starring Charlton Heston as ‘Moses’ in 1956. The unearthed sphinx will be refurbished and put on display in mid-to-late 2015.
★ Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has bought up 700 acres of beautiful Hawaii coastline … for more than $100 million. The 30-year-old billionaire purchased 2 adjacent properties on Kauai’s North Shore with white sand beaches and an organic farm. It’s been approved for development but so far there’s no home on-site. There should be lots of room for one … the former plantation is zoned to accommodate 80 houses.
★ What’s happening with veteran Brit actor Michael Caine? He announced he’s not going to be making any more films just a day after he was talking about how Daniel Radcliffe will be playing his son in “Now You See Me 2”. At last count the 81-year-old has half a dozen films in post-, and at least another 4 in pre-production. Are these the first signs of dementia kicking in? Or could it be that Caine is about to embark on some new fee negotiations?

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central) – Neil Young (“A Letter Home”). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Joe Perry (Aerosmith); Pentatonix (“PTXmas”). Rerun.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – A performance from guest judge Pitbull; then the celebrities dance to Pitbull’s hits and favorite songs.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Bush (“Man On the Run”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – A rerun featuring Foo Fighters’ drummer Taylor Hawkins and his side project The Birds of Satan.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Lizzo (“Lizzobangers”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Billy Idol (autobiography “Dancing with Myself”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Oldies singer Neil Diamond (“Melody Road”, out tomorrow).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Alicia Keys (“Girl On Fire”). Rerun.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – TI (“Paperwork”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Stevie Nicks, Little Big Town, Alicia Keys, and Gavin Rossdale (Bush) make appearances as the battle rounds continue.

• Bastille – The Brit band will wrap up their current “Bad Blood: The Last Stand” tour on November 20th in Los Angeles with a show that also features Grizfolk and Ella Eyre.
• Billy Joel – No longer in a ‘New York State of Mind’? He’s sold off the last of his NYC real estate for $775,000. He offloaded his $11-million Manhattan penthouse on Central Park South last year and now has cashed in the 15th-floor apartment directly below it.
• Calvin Harris – You may have heard he & pop singer Rita Ora broke up earlier this year. Well here’s why: Rita claimed she had to leave LA and go back to London for urgent work. Word has it she instead went across town to a hotel, where she hooked up with someone else. Stupidly, she used Calvin’s driver to pick her up and drop her off.
• Genesis – New biographical info reveals the classic rock band was given copies of Crosby, Stills & Nash records when starting out, in order to help them perfect their sound.
• Kimbra – Tonight in San Francisco CA, the Aussie singer (w/ Gotye-“Someone That I Used to Know”) hits the road  for a headlining tour of major North American cities through November 9th. She’s supported by electro-pop artist Empress Of.
• Outkast – They headlined the weekend’s Treasure Island Music Festival that was staged in San Francisco CA. The massive 2-day fest also included Alt-J, Janelle Monae, Massive Attack, New Pornographers, and TV On the Radio.
• U2 – Bono has revealed that he has suffered from glaucoma for 20 years and that’s why he always wears dark sunglasses. If left untreated, the disorder can cause blindness.

Scientists have discovered that most people ignore the calorie counts printed on food & drink. That may be because the numbers simply don’t mean much to most of us. And that’s why researchers at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore MD are recommending that exercise data be printed on packaging instead, revealing how long it would take to burn off the contents. For instance …
• Eat a typical fast-food hamburger and you’ll need the equivalent of a 2.6-mile (4.2-km) walk to burn it off.
• Eat a double cheeseburger and you’ll require a 5.6-mile (9-km) hike.
• Drink a bottle of Coca-Cola and you’ll need a 4-mile (6.4 km) run to burn off the calories you’ve consumed.
Other scientists have called for the same approach to be taken in fast-food restaurants. In experiments, it’s been found that teenagers given the more understandable info choose healthier drinks and/or smaller bottles.
(Deep-fried Mars bar: 13 marathons … on your hands-and-knees … uphill … one hand tied behind your back …)

Sociologists says it’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family and to acknowledge the end of ‘traditional marriage’ as society’s highest ideal. A few facts backing up that idea …
• The median age at which Americans get married for the first time is now 28 for men and 26 for women, up from 23 for men and 20 for women 50 years ago.
• In the past 15 years, the percentage of people who are married has dropped from 29% to 22%.
• Women no longer need husbands to have children. In fact, 40% of children are now born to single moms as adoption and in vitro fertilization are changing the stigma of single motherhood.
• Thanks to improved education and employment, women are increasingly less reliant on a husband for financial support.
(Who needs men anyway?)
– “Atlantic Monthly”

What can you do when you feel trapped at your cubicle during the day and are checking work emails on your smartphone hours after you’ve left? A few tips from Scott Eblin, author of the new book “Overworked & Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative” …
✓ Leave your desk for lunch, or at least take a few minutes to step outside and get some fresh air. If this sounds like too much, start by doing it once a week and go from there. This also helps you get away your computer screen.
✓ If your job doesn’t involve tight deadlines and you aren’t expecting any important memos, consider limiting checking your email to a few times a day. Maybe promise yourself you are only going to look twice before lunch and then twice in the afternoon.
✓ The mindfulness mantra applies at home too. For starters, make it a point to keep your smartphone out of your bedroom so you’re not tempted to check emails well into the night. Get an old-fashion alarm clock so you resist the temptation of checking email first thing in the morning.
✓ And most of all, he says, you should make the conscious choice to think about things differently. It sounds so cliché but it can be as simple as waking up and saying, “I’m happy to be here.”
(Easy to say when you’re lying in your comfy bed half-conscious.)

10. “I Cross My Heart” … George Strait
9. “Keeper Of the Stars” … Tracy Byrd
8. “From This Moment On” … Shania Twain w/Bryan White
7. “I Love the Way You Love Me” … John Michael Montgomery
6. “It”s Your Love” … Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
5. “Could I Have This Dance” … Anne Murray
4. “Bless the Broken Road” … Rascal Flatts
3. “When I Said I Do” … Clint Black & Lisa Hartman Black
2. “Forever and Ever, Amen” … Randy Travis
1. “I Do” … Paul Brandt
– Thanks to Michael Kaufman, KIX 104 Fayetteville AR

Famed inventor Thomas Edison had 3 dots tattooed on his right hand, in the form of the dots on the face of a die. Edison invented the electric tattoo pen in 1876, under the official name ‘Stencil-Pen’. It was the predecessor to the later tattoo machine.


1950 [64] Tom Petty, Gainesville FL, classic rock singer (“Learning to Fly”, “Free Falling”)  BS FACTOID: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ recent release “Hypnotic Eye” became their 1st-ever #1 album. Why? CD-buying is now mostly limited to Baby Boomers.

1958 [56] Viggo Mortensen, NYC, movie actor (“Eastern Promises”, “Lord Of the Rings” films)

1971 [43] Jimi Westbrook, Sumiton AL, country guitarist-vocalist (Little Big Town-“Tornado”, “Pontoon”)/wed to bandmate Karen Fairchild since 2006

1971 [43] Snoop Dogg (Cordozar Calvin Broadus), Long Beach CA, rapper (w/Katy Perry-“California Girlz”, f/Pharrell-“Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/movie actor (“Soul Plane”, “Old School”)

1978 [36] Paul Wilson, Kinlochleven, Scotland, alt-rock bass player (Snow Patrol-“Take Back the City”, “Chasing Cars”)

1979 [35] John Krasinski, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Monsters vs Aliens” films, “License to Wed”)/wed to British actress Emily Blunt since 2010

• “Brandied Fruit Day”. Yeehaw, let’s hear it for booze with a pit!

• “Change Your Oil Day”, highlighting one of the most important components of vehicle maintenance. (You want to fry your engine, dipstick?)

• “Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day”. Just look at all those unused icons cluttering things up! Delete, delete, delete!

• “International Adjust Your Chair Day”, an annual observance on the 3rd Monday of October to remind those who sit in an office chair all day to be sure that it’s adjusted to an ergonomically correct position. (Do you do your radio show standing up? Try it! Better breathing, less DJ-butt.)

• “Suspenders Day”. If you prefer suspenders over a belt (how snappy!), this would be your day to celebrate.

• “World Osteoporosis Day”, focusing on the disease that reduces the density and quality of bone, increasing the risk of fracture. It affects around 1-in-3 women and 1-in-5 men worldwide.

1994 [20] In a surprise appearance, Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young take the stage during Bob Dylan’s concert at NYC’s Roseland Ballroom and perform “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” and “Highway 61 Revisited” with the legend himself

1992 [22] 1st World Series game played outside the USA as Toronto Blue Jays beat Atlanta Braves 3-2 at Toronto’s Skydome in Game 3 of the World Series

1989 [25] Smith Dairy in Orrville, Ohio concocts ‘World’s Largest Milkshake’ at 1,575.2 gallons (5,963 litres)

[Tues] Celebration Of the Mind Day
[Tues] Reptile Awareness Day
[Wed] 2014 MOBO Awards (London UK)
[Wed] CAPS Lock Day
[Wed] International Stuttering Awareness Day
[Wed] Medical Assistants Recognition Day

Bullying Bystanders Unite Week / Character Counts Week / Chemistry Week / Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week / Food & Drug Interactions Awareness Week / Forest Products Week / Freedom from Bullies Week / Friends of Libraries Week / Hospital Pharmacy Week / Infection Prevention Week / Lead Poisoning Prevention Week / Massage Therapy Week / Mediation Week / Respiratory Care Week / Save For Retirement Week


(Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues.) This is “National Pharmacy Week”, “National Pharmacy Month”, and “Talk About Prescriptions Month”, as good a time as ever to review the …
• Sign out front reads: “Wholesalers Welcome.”
• Her wall-mounted diploma is made from cut-up newspaper headlines.
• Instructs you to: “Take 27 of the big red ones, twice a day … with a tequila slammer.”
• Asks if you brought along your ‘subscription’.
• Asks if you want your Viagra regular or extra crispy.
• Instead of “Good morning, can I help you?” he greets you with “You’re not a cop, are you?”
• Counts out pills by saying, “One for you, two for me …”
– First published in “BS” 1999.

• Every employee gets a desk. No chair.
• Your corporate slogan is: “You’ll get it, when we get around to it.”
• Toll-free customer service line is 1-888-GET-HOSED.
• Your company policy of ‘Pants Optional Friday’ has led to numerous employee lawsuits.
• While customers try your clothing on, you like to try theirs on.
• You have to close at 4 pm every day because your mom doesn’t want strangers in the basement during dinner.
• You’ve named your store ‘Crap Mart’.
– First published in “BS” 2010.

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!

In which country did the umbrella originate?
a. England
b. Egypt [CORRECT. It was used by the ancient royal families and nobles as a symbol of rank.]
c. Japan
– “Yahoo! Trivia”

☎ What’s the absolute worst topic to bring up on a first date?

Question: Women now do THIS 3 times as much as men. 50 years ago it was the opposite.
Answer: Take photos.

If only you could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Peter Quinn @ The Superstation, Orkney Islands, Scotland; Valerie DeLoggio @ 104.9 The Peak [WZMR] Albany NY; Luis @ Ninguna 1460, Lakeland FL; Simon McClintock @ 91.9 Fresh FM, Gladstone, Australia; Brent Selhorst @ WCSM-FM Celina OH; Trish Twilley @, Cartersville GA; Georgia Jonas & Skye Maxwell @ 89.9 Light FM Melbourne, Australia; Keith Cunningham @ RedFM Cork, Ireland; Mike Rogers @ K-FOX 102.5 [KTNT] Eufaula OK; Ernst Rollmann @ OZ-FM [CHOZ] St John’s NL; Mark Wesley @ 4RO Rockhampton, Australia; Chuck Springs @ The Voice Of the Navajo Nation [KTNN] Window Rock AZ; and Chris White @ Radio 96.1 [WBBB] Raleigh NC. Welcome, all!

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