Monday, October 22, 2012        Edition: #4851

Don’t Forget to Renew or It’s No Sheet, Sherlock!

• As expected, Justin Timberlake married actress Jessica Biel in Italy on Friday night. “People” magazine has confirmed both the couple’s wedding and the fact that it will print pictures of the happy couple in this week’s edition. The ceremony was in front of 150 guests at the luxurious Borgo Egnazia hotel near Fasano in southern Italy. Timberlake & Biel told “People” in a statement, “It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends.” (Thank goodness they didn’t sell out.)
• Lindsay Lohan’s estranged father has attempted to stage an intervention at her Beverly Hills home after reports she missed a voice recording session for her new movie “The Canyons”. Michael Lohan claims a man who called himself her boyfriend wouldn’t let him on the property. The 26-year-old actress has dismissed the allegation on Twitter, saying she doesn’t have a boyfriend. (This family is an inspiration to us all … no matter how dysfunctional our own clans, we’re freakin’ normal compared to the Lohans!)
– E! News
• Meantime, a fitness trainer based in Los Angeles is claiming that he is dating Lindsay Lohan and says he is the ‘best influence’ in her life right now. 25-year-old Josh Chunn is a former member of the University of Louisiana at Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns cheerleader squad. Chunn insists that Lohan is ‘a strong girl’ and that she’s ‘cleaning up’. (The limelight-seeker made all these pronouncements on their 3-day anniversary.)
– “New York Daily News”
• It’s been announced that ABC-TV medical drama “Private Practice” will end after its current 6th season. Creator Shonda Rhimes announced the ‘heartbreaking’ news on the weekend. Part of the reason may be that Kate Walsh, who’s played lead character ‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ in the “Grey’s Anatomy” spin-off since its premiere in 2007, announced earlier this year that she would be leaving the series. (Somehow “Grey’s” manages to soldier on in its 9th season.)
• The good news for 30-year-old singer and self-confessed ‘history nerd’ Kelly Clarkson is that she had the winning bid (£152,000 or $243,000) at the British auction of a ring once owned by famed romantic novelist Jane Austen (“Pride & Prejudice”, “Emma”, etc). The bad news is, she wasn’t allowed to bring the ring back to the USA after her UK tour ended Saturday because it’s been declared a national treasure. (Now she has to fly to England to visit her jewelry.)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Kendrick Lamar (“Good Kid: MAAD City”).
• “Dancing With the Stars All-Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Couples dance to ‘guilty pleasure’ songs.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Hunter Hayes (“Hunter Hayes”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Taylor Swift appears live in NYC’s Times Square for today’s launch of her 4th studio album, “Red”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Bloc Party (“Four”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Walkmen (“Heaven”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – 1990s rap group Wu-Tang Clan.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tony Bennett (“Viva Duets”).
• “Presidential Debate” (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/PBS) – Bob Schieffer moderates Round 3 at Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida. Your favorite show is pre-empted.
• Q Awards (London) – At the annual “Q” magazine music awards, reunited Brit acts Blur and The Stone Roses are up for ‘Best Band In the World’ alongside Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band and Radiohead.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Blues guitarist Gary Clark Jr (“Blak & Blu”, released today) performs “Ain’t Messin ‘Round”.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Alanis Morissette (“Havoc & Bright Lights”).

• Adele – She’s a new mom, welcoming a son via boyfriend Simon Konecki on Friday night, according to “Daily Mail”. A spokesperson has refused to confirm or deny the story, issuing a terse ‘no comment’. No word on a name as yet.
• Jason Aldean – He’s ready to hit the stadium circuit next year, playing the University of Georgia’s Sanford Stadium in April , then Boston’s venerable Fenway Park and Chicago’s Wrigley Field next July.
• Kanye West – Ryan Seacrest predicted Kanye would surprise girlfriend Kim Kardashian with an engagement ring on her 32nd birthday yesterday. How would he know? He’s the exec producer of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and likely had it all filmed … if it happened.
• Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson – Today the Australian husband-and-wife team release the new album “Wreck & Ruin”. Chambers is a multi-platinum artist Down Under.
• Kings Of Leon – Bassist Jared Followill says they are currently in the writing process for a new studio album that’s likely to get recorded early next year.
• Lady Antebellum – Today their new holiday album, “On This Winter’s Night”, is out. It features 11 seasonal classics plus the title track which was written by the band.
•  Lady Gaga – She’s reportedly been offered $5 million to co-star in the upcoming sequel to “Zoolander” (2001). Ben Stiller will reprise his role as the dim-witted male model but has relinquished writing-directing duties to Justin Theroux (soon-to-be Mr Jennifer Aniston).
• Motorhead – Today they unleash “The World Is Yours, Vol 2: Anyplace Crazy As Anywhere Else”, the follow-up to their 2011 album packed with material from the “World Is Yours Tour”.
• Rolling Stones – Tickets to their 50th anniversary concerts at London’s O2 Arena next month sold out in just 7 minutes on Friday. Some are now appearing on ticket resale websites for as much as £12,500 ($20,000).
• Stone Sour – Today they release the first installment of their new double album, “House of Gold & Bones Part 1”.
• Taylor Swift – Today a deluxe version of her new album “Red” goes on sale exclusively through Target stores. It includes 6 bonus tracks (3 new songs and 3 remixes).

Eileen Proctor, owner of a Castle Rock, Colorado canine boarding & training facility, offers the following tips about dressing up your dog for Halloween …
✗ Don’t assume that just because a company is selling a pet costume that it is a suitable costume for pets.
✗ Don’t restrict movement. The dog should be able to walk and sit down without discomfort.
✗ No masks that cover the eyes, ears, or nose.
✗ Get the dog used to having something on his neck or back. Don’t just spring it on him.
✗ If your dog looks miserable wearing his costume, he probably is.
So what will Proctor’s pooches be wearing? She’s considering putting together ‘Bark Obama’ and ‘Mutt Romney’ costumes.
– Adapted from “Denver Post”

A team of British scientists have managed to turn fresh air into gasoline. A company called Air Fuel Synthesis has manufactured 5 liters of the stuff in a small refinery, using carbon and water vapor. Company CEO Peter Harrison explains that the process takes carbon dioxide from the air and hydrogen from water to make methanol. The methanol is then converted to gasoline. Though renewable energy is used to fuel the process, the ratio between energy used and energy produced is not yet profitable. So the problem now becomes creating new ‘air energy’ at a price that is affordable. (Exxon is likely already working on how to charge for air. Come to think of it … they already do at the tire pump.)
– BBC Radio

A new study by the Equal Opportunities Commission has identified 4 main types of fathers. So which are you?
• Enforcer Dad – Not involved with the day-to-day care of children. He sees the most important aspects of being a father as providing a role model and clear rules for his children.
• Entertainer Dad – Often entertains the children while the mother does things like cooking and cleaning.
• Useful Dad – Helps out with day-to-day childcare and household tasks but still tends to take the lead from the mother about what needs doing.
• Fully Involved Dad – Is equally involved with running the home and family, at least some of the time. The mother and father roles are virtually interchangeable in this family.
– PA News

A new record for the ‘World’s Most Expensive Cocktail’ has been set by Salvatore Calabrese at his London, England bar . His ‘Salvatore’s Legacy’ contains 1778 Clos de Griffier Vieux Cognac, 1770 Kummel Liqueur, Dubb Orange Curacao circa 1860, and 2 dashes of Angostura Bitters circa 1900s. The resulting drink has been evaluated at £5,500 ($8,800), smashing the previous record of £3,766 ($6,027) held by the Skyview Bar of Burj Al Arab Hotel in Dubai UAE. (Even at that relatively paltry price, you better hope it’s not your round!)

• The sheep on TV hit “Downton Abbey” are not just any old sheep. They’re specially trained not to react in typically ovine panic to passing cars, omnipresent cameras and studio equipment, or even actors.
• 86% of Tour de France winners have been either directly implicated or tarnished by doping scandals since 1967. But they may not be the greatest cheaters associated with the world famous cycling race. In 1904, winner Maurice Garin was stripped of his title for … taking the train during the race.


1952 [60] Jeff Goldblum, West Homestead PA, TV actor (“Law & Order: Criminal Intent” 2009-10)/movie actor (“Independence Day”, “Jurassic Park”)

1962 [50] Bob Odenkirk, Berwyn IL, TV actor (sleazy lawyer ‘Saul Goodman’ on “Breaking Bad” since 2009)

1968 [44] Shaggy (Orville Burrell), Kingston, Jamaica, reggae singer (“Angel”, “It Wasn’t Me”)

1969 [43] Spike Jonze (Adam Spiegel), Rockville MD, movie director (“Where the Wild Things Are”, “Being John Malkovich”)  UP NEXT: “Her” (2013).

1975 [37] Jesse Tyler Ferguson, TV actor, Missoula MT (‘Mitchell Pritchett’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1976 [36] Jon Foreman, San Bernardino CA, alt-rock guitarist (Switchfoot-“Meant to Live”, “Dare You to Move”)

1983 [29] Rickard Goransson, Stockholm, Sweden, rock guitarist (Carolina Liar-“I’m Not Over”, Show Me What I’m Looking For”)

• “Go For a Ride On Something Day” … a horse, a bicycle, a boat, anything!

• “Holy See Day” in Vatican City, the tiny country’s national day. The smallest independent nation in the world covers an area of about 44 hectares (109 acres).

• “international caps lock day” or is it “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”? In any event, it’s the 14th annual celebration of one of the more useful keys on your keyboard. (Unlike ‘Scroll Lock’.)

• “International Stuttering Awareness Day”, originated in 1998 to raise public awareness of the millions who suffer from the speech disorder.
– BTO … “You Ain’t Seen N-N-N-Nothing Yet”
– Beastie Boys … “Ch-Check It Out”
– David Bowie … “Ch-Ch-Changes”
– Elton John … “B-B-B-Bennie & The Jets”
– George Thorogood & The Destroyers  … “B-B-Bad To the Bone”
– The Knack … “M, M, M, My Sharona”
– The Who … “My G-G-Generation” (‘Why don’t you all f-fade away …’)

• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, but a legume. Definition of a nut: a hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed. In any event, it’s one of nature’s most perfect foods.

1939 [73] 1st ‘Televised Pro Football Game’ features Brooklyn Dodgers beating Philadelphia Eagles 23-14, picked up by a total of 500 TV sets

1942 [70] Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” hits #1 on record charts and stays 11 weeks (biggest-selling single of all-time until Elton John’s “Candle In the Wind 1997” knocks it off)

1962 [50] In a televised speech, US president John F Kennedy announces a blockade of Cuba during the ‘Cuban Missile Crisis’ (a trade embargo has been in effect ever since … how’s that working out?)

1992 [20] Thieves in South Yorkshire, England steal a truck loaded with 43,000 cans of beer … all of them past their expiration date

[Tues] iPod Day
[Tues] Mole Day
[Wed] World Development Information Day
[Thurs] Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day
[Thurs] World Pasta Day
This Week Is … Chemistry Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month


A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Here’s a list of ‘B-movie’ titles, only some of which are real. Ask a contestant to find the fakes …
• “Attack Of the Killer Refrigerator” (REAL)
• “Amazon Girls in New York” (BS)
• “Godzilla vs the Used Car Salesman” (BS)
• “Microwave Massacre” (REAL)
• “Attack Of the Ten-Foot Safety Pin” (BS)
• “The Spy Who Ate Me” (BS)
• “Skeeter!” (REAL)
• “Revenge Of the Mutant Juggler” (BS)
– First published in “BS” 2001.

Which now common condiment was once sold as a medicine?
a. Mayonnaise.
b. Relish.
c. Ketchup. [CORRECT. In the 1830s it was sold as ‘Dr Miles’s Compound Extract of Tomato’.]
– “Fascinating Facts”

☎ Finish this sentence: “My first hero was …”

Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow & arrow because she didn’t want to wake the kids?

Question: Doing THIS regularly makes most people happier in the workplace.
Answer: Going out to lunch.

It’s always easy to see both sides of an issue we’re not particularly concerned about.

Ford Denny @; Jay DeLong @, Saint John, New Brunswick; Brooksy & Rich T @ Pattaya 105, Pattaya, Thailand; Jayme Hall @ Sun 102 [CHSN] Estevan, Saskatchewan; Peter Flanagan @ Lisburn’s 98FM, Lisburn, Northern Ireland; and Jaqueline Jones @ Classic Hits 107.1 [WHJB] Greensburg, Pennsylvania.

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