Tuesday, October 22, 2013        Edition: #5085

Don’t Forget to Renew or It’s No Sheet, Sherlock!

• John Grisham’s first novel, “A Time to Kill”, has hit Broadway in an adaptation by Tony Award-winning writer (and former “Piña Colada Song” pop singer) Rupert Holmes. Sebastian Arcelus (“House of Cards”) plays attorney ‘Jake Brigance’ in the stage adaptation alongside Fred Dalton Thompson, and Ashley Williams. One review describes it as ‘an engaging cast playing juicy dramatic characters’. The 1996 movie version starred Matthew McConaughey.
– Bloomberg News
• 33-year-old Brit actor Ben Whishaw (the new ‘Q’ in ‘James Bond’ movies) is set to star as late Queen frontman Freddy Mercury in an upcoming biopic. Sacha Baron Cohen had initially been picked to play the flamboyant rock icon but pulled out of the movie in July, citing creative differences. Now Whishaw’s been picked for the project, which will be produced by the band’s surviving members Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon.
– “Daily Mail”
• Dozens of former ‘Bond’ girls have posed for photos as part of a new exhibition. One-time ‘James Bond’ film stars Grace Jones, Honor Blackman, Jane Seymour, Jill St John, and Shirley Eaton all agreed to sit for photographer Taryn Simon to celebrate the spy movie franchise. In fact, only 10-of-57 former ‘007′ starlets contacted declined to take part. The exhibition, entitled “Birds Of the West Indies” (huh?), opens at the Carnegie Museum of Art in Pittsburgh PA later this year before heading out on tour.
– “Stella Magazine”
• Simon Cowell is reportedly planning to marry Lauren Silverman after she has their baby because … he wants to make his 87-year-old mom happy. A source says Julie Cowell has always dreamed of the day when Simon settles down with a woman, so Silverman has agreed to a church wedding near Julie’s home in Sussex next year. Earlier this month Simon posted a series of cryptic messages on Twitter promising ‘exciting news’ in the near future. Is this it?
– Bang Showbiz
• And an obsessed Justin Bieber fan has spent over $100,000 on cosmetic surgery in order to look like him. 33-year-old LA songwriter Toby Sheldon has tried to copy 20-year-old Bieber’s sculpted hair, heavy eyebrows, and distinctive lips by asking plastic surgeons to reference a photo. The process has taken years. Just lowering his hairline to match the Biebs took 3 transplants and cost over $20,000. He’s also had filler injected into his cheeks and lips to give him plumper features. And the results? Well, you decide …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/kayreee
– ContactMusic.com

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Lady Antebellum (“Golden”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Michael Bolton (memoir “The Soul Of it All”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Michael Franti (“All People”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Laura Mvula (“Sing To the Moon”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – ‘Pearl Jam Week’ continues, with nightly performances from the band as well as other artists rocking Pearl Jam classics. Tonight Fleet Foxes frontman Robin Pecknold covers “Corduroy”, backed by special guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Beacon”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Fifth Harmony (“Better Together”, out today).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (“Unvarnished”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The battle rounds continue; advisers Cher, Ed Sheeran, Miguel and Ryan Tedder.

• AFI – Today they release their 9th studio album, “Burials”. AFI worked with veteran producer Gil Norton (Pixies, Foo Fighters) and recorded the final product at Hollywood’s legendary Eastwest Studios.
• Drake – His weekend Philadelphia PA “Would You Like a Tour?” concert has now been re-scheduled for December 18th. The gig was cancelled less than an hour before show time due to ‘an unexpected technical issue’. (BS translation: Somebody missed their nap.)
• Kanye West – He’s scheduled to play San Jose CA tonight … but don’t bet on it. His Sunday night “Yeezus” gig in Vancouver BC was cancelled last-minute ‘due to unforeseen circumstances’. That show is re-scheduled for October 31st.
• Katy Perry – Today she releases the new album “Prism”, which actually seems like an anticlimax after all the hype and previews. The set includes the chart-topping female empowerment anthem “Roar”.
• LeAnn Rimes – Tonight in Nashville TN she flips the switch turning the Grand Ole Opry set pink for its 5th annual “Opry Goes Pink Show”, when artists perform in support of breast cancer awareness as part of the Women Rock For the Cure campaign.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Tonight in Portland OR they kick off a 33-date North American arena tour that runs up to December 12th in Seattle WA. The rap duo is also playing at the Voodoo Music Experience in New Orleans LA on November 1st.
• Rihanna – She’s swapped hot pants for jersey harem pants onstage as her “Diamonds World Tour” plays Abu Dhabi, but she’s still courting controversy by posting pics on Instagram that show her posing outside a local mosque in a black jumpsuit topped with a black hijab. That’s caused her denunciation for using a hijab as a fashion accessory.

• “Before Midnight” ( R-Rated Romantic Drama ): Richard Linklater’s ongoing story about the romance between strangers who met on a train bound for Vienna is one of the best reviewed movies of the year. ‘Jesse’ (Ethan Hawke) & ‘Celine’ (Julie Delpy) first met in their 20s in “Before Sunrise” (1995); then reunited in their 30s in “Before Sunset” (2004).
• “The Conjuring” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Vera Farmiga & Patrick Wilson play a couple who work as paranormal investigators. When they attempt to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse, they find themselves caught up in the most terrifying case of their lives. Co-stars Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston. Directed by James Wan (“Saw”).
• “The Internship” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson star as a pair of salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital age. So they work their way into a coveted internship at Google Inc, where they must compete with a group of young, tech-savvy geniuses for a shot at employment. Co-stars Josh Gad, Jessica Szohr.
• “Only God Forgives” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Director Nicolas Winding’s follow-up to “Drive” (2011) is sleazier, dirtier, and … well … weirder. Ryan Gosling and Kristin Scott Thomas star as a fugitive running a boxing club in Bangkok as a front for his drug business and his mother, the head of a vast criminal organization, who enlists him to avenge the death of his brother.
• “The Way, Way Back” ( PG-13 Comedy ): A bit of a “Little Miss Sunshine” reunion as Steve Carell and Toni Collette join Sam Rockwell and Allison Janney in this indie pic that follows a teenage boy (Liam James) who struggles to find himself during Summer vacation. First off, he needs to come to terms with his inattentive mother and cheating stepfather.
• Also released today: “Barbie & Her Sisters In a Pony Tale” (Animation); “Nikita: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); and “Primeval New World: The Complete Series” (TV).

Apple is holding another of its well orchestrated ‘events’ today. What to expect …
• CEO Tim Cook and his lieutenants will be in San Francisco to announce a slew of refreshed gadgets before the crucial holiday shopping season gets underway.
• Top billing is expected to be a new iPad mini with the crisper ‘Retina’ display that is already on the bigger tablets.
• Apple needs all the excitement it can muster because the company’s share of the tablet market has slid to 48.6%, making 2013 the first year Android has had the lead.
• It’s also likely that a new version of Apple’s larger iPad will be announced, with Intel’s Haswell chip inside to help increase battery life.
• Other possibilities: A new line of MacBook Pro laptops; details of the new OS X Mavericks operating system; perhaps a new Mac Pro desktop computer. (And maybe a cyber-reincarnated Steve Jobs?)
– AllThingsD.com

According to new Intel research, millennials, people aged 18-to-24, are least impressed by technology, and believe that new gadgets have a ‘dehumanizing’ effect on us. Older people, particularly women, are now technology’s biggest fans. Perhaps surprisingly, 61% of young adults polled in 8 countries believe hi-tech is making people less human. 59% also feel that society has become too reliant on technology. So is the millennial generation turning its back on tech? Not likely. They just want it to be better. 36% say they’d like it to be less invasive and more intuitive. (Be like mom … sense the snack I want; bring it.)

Want to ditch your alarm clock for good? British startup company Genetrainer is launching a Kickstarter campaign to crowd-fund its latest invention … a weigh scale and sleep tracker. The device, called ‘Bed Scales’, can sense your sleep cycle, measure your weight changes while you’re sleeping, and even wake you up during a period of light sleep so you won’t feel groggy. The gizmo uses sensors placed under the legs of a bed that track your movements throughout the night. Downside: The technology, for now, doesn’t work as well when there are 2 people in the bed. (Well, not a problem for [co-host] then …)
– RelaxNews.com

From the age of 18 months a child can tell when someone is being insincere.
– “Times of London”


1952 [61] Jeff Goldblum, West Homestead PA, movie actor (“Independence Day”, “Jurassic Park”)/TV actor (“Law & Order: Criminal Intent” 2009-10)

1962 [51] Bob Odenkirk, Berwyn IL, TV actor (‘Saul Goodman’ on “Breaking Bad” 2009-13)

1968 [45] Shaggy (Orville Burrell), Kingston, Jamaica, reggae singer (“Angel”, “It Wasn’t Me”)

1969 [44] Spike Jonze (Adam Spiegel), Rockville MD, movie director (“Where the Wild Things Are”, “Being John Malkovich”)/music video director (Arcade Fire-“The Suburbs”, Jay-Z & Kanye West–“Otis”)

1975 [38] Jesse Tyler Ferguson, TV actor, Missoula MT (‘Mitchell Pritchett’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1976 [37] Jon Foreman, San Bernardino CA, alt-rock guitarist (Switchfoot-“Meant to Live”, “Dare You to Move”)

1983 [30] Rickard Goransson, Stockholm, Sweden, rock guitarist (Carolina Liar-“I’m Not Over”, Show Me What I’m Looking For”)

• “international caps lock day” or is it “INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY”? In any event, it’s the 15th annual celebration of one of the more useful keys on your keyboard. (Unlike ‘Scroll Lock’.)

• “International Stuttering Awareness Day”, originated in 1998 to raise public awareness of the millions who suffer from the speech disorder.
10. Marianas Trench … “Stutter” (“Did did did did I stutter, stutter, stutter …”).
9. Elton John … “B-B-B-Bennie & The Jets”
8. Fergie … “Fergalicious” (“I’m Fergalicious. T-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty.”)
7. George Thorogood & The Destroyers  … “B-B-Bad To the Bone”
6. The Knack … “M, M, M, My Sharona”
5. OutKast … “Hey Ya!” (“Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture…”)
4. BTO … “You Ain’t Seen N-N-N-Nothing Yet”
3. Beastie Boys … “Ch-Check It Out”
2. David Bowie … “Ch-Ch-Changes”
1. The Who … “My G-G-Generation” (‘Why don’t you all f-f-fade away …’)
NET: http://www.stutteringhelp.org

• “Nut Day”. Ask anyone to name a nut and most will start their list with ‘peanut’, which isn’t a nut at all, but a legume. Definition of a nut: A hard, dry, indehiscent fruit formed from 2 or more carpels but containing only 1 seed. In any event, it’s one of nature’s most perfect foods.
NET: http://www.national-awareness-days.com/national-nut-day.html

1939 [74] 1st ‘Televised Pro Football Game’ features Brooklyn Dodgers beating Philadelphia Eagles 23-14, picked up by a total of 500 TV sets

2005 [08] ABBA’s 1974 hit “Waterloo” is voted the best song in the history of the Eurovision Song Contest, decided by voters from 81 countries during a ceremony to mark the famous European event’s 50th anniversary

2012 [01] Cyclist Lance Armstrong is stripped of his 7 Tour de France titles (1999-2005) due to doping allegations

1992 [21] Thieves in South Yorkshire, England steal a truck loaded with 43,000 cans of beer … all of them past their expiration date

[Wed] Prince George’s christening (London)
[Wed] TV Talk Show Host Day
[Fri] “The Counselor”; “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day
[Fri] World Pasta Day
[Fri] International Bandanna Day
This Week Is … Chemistry Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month


• “Have we got hats?”
• “A splendid monk costume …”
• “Fresh from the sarcophagus.”
• “A new idea in horror!”
• “Lock up your possums …”
• “This adorable white rabbit, made of real fur, pops out of your hat, and interacts with you and your audience.”
• “Load candy with cap, set down and wait for the fun to start.”
• “A blood feast!”
• “$775.”
– Thanks to JT Dobbs

What did the following celebs do for a living before they became famous?
• Eminem was a …
a. Butcher.
b. Baker. [CORRECT, actually a well-rounded cook of all kinds.]
c. Candlestick Maker.

• Actor Brad Pitt was a …
a. Bouncer.
b. Mascot. [CORRECT, a giant chicken while working for El Pollo Loco restaurant.]
c. Nude model.

• Actress Sandra Bullock was a …
a. Miner.
b. Tree Planter.
c. Dog Beautician. [CORRECT, a dog groomer. Also bartender, waitress, coat checker.]
– HardlyFamous.com

That was not dead air you just heard. That was me using sign language to introduce the next song for the hearing impaired.

Question: We all have good dreams & bad dreams, but according to a “Parenting Magazine” poll moms have THIS dream the most.
Answer: Winning the lottery.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

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