Monday, October 26, 2015        Edition: #5357

Sheet Happens!

★ Rihanna’s former publicist has apologized for starting untrue gossip about an affair between RiRi and her married label boss Jay Z. Jonathan Hay admits he started the rumor as an ill-conceived PR stunt to get press coverage for Rihanna’s 2005 breakthrough single “Pon de Replay”. The apology comes a day after biographer J Randy Taraborrelli told TV show “Entertainment Tonight” that he had researched the alleged affair thoroughly while writing his new book “Becoming Beyoncé: The Untold Story”, and was convinced the fling was fiction.
– “NY Daily News”
★ Two more woman have accused comedian Bill Cosby of sexual misconduct. Attorney Gloria Allred, who is representing many of the 50-plus women who have made allegations about Cosby in the last 12 months, staged another press conference on Friday and introduced Donna Barrett and another women identified only as Dottye. Barrett alleges Cosby grabbed her from behind and pressed against her in 2004. Dottye claims he drugged and raped her back in 1984.
Cosby’s new lawyers have declined to comment on the latest accusers.
★ And author JRR Tolkien’s annotated map of ‘Middle-Earth’ is for sale. It was discovered in a copy of “The Lord of the Rings” owned by illustrator Pauline Baynes. Tolkien himself is said to have diligently annotated the map in green ink and pencil, with Baynes adding her own notes. It shows that ‘Hobbiton’ is on the same latitude as Oxford, England and also hints that the city of ‘Minas Tirith’ was inspired by the Italian city of ‘Ravenna’. The map is currently on display at Blackwell’s Rare Books in Oxford and is up for sale at the pricey sum of £60,000 ($90,000+).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Warren Haynes (“Ashes & Dust”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Halloween-themed performances; guest co-host Leah Remini; elimination.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Brett Eldredge (“Illinois”).
• “Fear: Buried Alive” (A&E) – A 2-hour live (yes, live) event that features 3 people locked in underground coffins, who endure a series of escalating horrors designed to test the strength of their psyches. Said to be a practical experiment of immersion therapy, a way for people to conquer their fears by confronting them.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Blake Shelton (“Reloaded: 20 #1 Hits”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wolf Alice (“My Love is Cool”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Travis Mills (“All I Wanna Do”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Arcade Fire drummer Jeremy Gara.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Chance the Rapper (“Surf”).
• “Meredith Vieira” (syndicated) – Christina Milian (“It’s About Time”).
• Philadelphia Music Walk of Fame (Philadelphia PA) – Today the Philadelphia Music Alliance inducts new members Billie Holiday, Cinderella, The Roots, The Trammps, and Ray Benson (Asleep At the Wheel) among others. “Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon is attending to personally induct his house band, The Roots.
• “Spectre” – The latest ‘James Bond’ film opens in theaters in Ireland and UK (November 6th in North America). Daniel Craig is back playing ‘007’ for the 4th time. Co-stars Christoph Waltz, Monica Bellucci, Ralph Fiennes. The last ‘Bond’ film, “Skyfall”, grossed $1.1 billion worldwide.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The strongest vocalists choose songs to perform as they compete head-to-head; Rihanna advises.

• Adele – She tells Beats 1 why her new album will be called “25”. Quote: “I was 20 when ’19’ came out. I was 23 when ’21’ came out. I am 27. And so proud of being 27, thanks very much. But I quite liked it when I was ’25’.” Ah, lying about her age.
• Carrie Underwood – Why’s her new album called “Storyteller”? She tells, “As a writer, as an artist, as a performer, that’s what we do.”
• Elton John – He has announced a new album, “Wonderful Crazy Night”, due out February 5th. He’s also debuted the lead single, “Looking Up”, online.
• Enya – The Irish New Age artist has long shunned the idea of touring as her songs feature complex vocal arrangements. But now, she says, modern technology might allow her to layer her voice multiple times onstage. So the 54-year-old is considering the idea after a 25-year career without hitting the road.
• Jamie Lawson – The Brit singer-songwriter tops the new UK album chart for the first time with his self-titled 4th album. The 39-year-old is the first act to be signed to Ed Sheeran’s new label Gingerbread Man Records.
• Justin Timberlake – He wrote his 2002 hit “Cry Me a River” after seeing Britney Spears talk about him at a concert.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s announced via an Instagram post that she’s expecting a baby boy. The 33-year-old is already mother to 1-year-old daughter River Rose and announced she was pregnant with her 2nd child during a concert back in August.
• Outkast – Their 2000 hit “Ms Jackson” was intended as an open letter from Andre 3000 to his ex Erykah Badu’s mother Kolleen Wright. So why not Ms Wright?
• Panic! At the Disco – They’ll drop their 5th studio album, “Death Of a Bachelor”, on January 15th.
• Shaggy – The biggest hit of his career almost wasn’t. 2000’s “It Wasn’t Me” wasn’t going to be released as a single until Hawaiian radio personality Pablo Sato began playing an illegal download copy on-air and Shaggy’s record label realized the song’s potential.
• Toby Keith – It’s hard to picture a Mezcal drinkin’, hell raisin’ man like him getting all sentimental about an addition to his family, but he is after his singer-daughter Krystal gave birth last week to Hensley Jack Sandubrae. It’s her first child, but Toby’s 3rd granddaughter.

✓ Stockholm, Sweden: An air pilot’s cabin in a passenger airplane has been chartered to accommodate tourists in search of a unique nighttime spot. The cockpit has been transformed into a 2-person bedroom suite with free Wi-Fi and a private bathroom.
✓ Paris, France: The owner of a cupcake shop in the iconic Montmartre district rents out her establishment for overnight stays. Guests pay 130 euros per night, but some of the shop’s pastry creations are included.
✓ Lapland, Finland: Every Winter the ‘Snowcastle’ is rebuilt to welcome visitors that dream of spending a decidedly unique night. Each room is made completely of ice and can accommodate up to 5 people. Sleeping bags are supplied.
✓ London UK: Travelers can reconnect with history in an old shoe factory that’s been transformed. The 100-square-meter loft features authentic architectural elements of the era, including hardwood floors and brickwork that emphasize the industrial flair of the space.
✓ Paris, France: A recording studio in the 11th arrondissement is available as accommodation for couples or friends. The bed is set in the middle of the studio and guests sleep surrounded by musical instruments and mixing tables.
✓ Amsterdam, The Netherlands: Visitors can rent out an entire sailboat that’s anchored in one of the city’s many canals,. It includes 11 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and can accommodate up to 30 guests. There’s even a draft beer machine. Prices start at 731 euros.
– @CanoeTravel

Among other factors, such as hormonal levels, a set of about 12 genes appear to influence the time you prefer to go to bed. There is such a range in preferred sleep time that ‘extreme larks’ (early risers) can be waking up just as ‘extreme owls’ (late nighters) hit the sack. People are generally good at guessing which bird best describes them, although few people are very strong examples of either. When do most of us rise and shine? According to a survey, 7 am is wake-up time for 27% of us, followed by 6 am (15%), and then 7:30 am (11%). (Ask listeners for really weird wake-up times and their reasons for them.)
– “Times of London”

According to one online list, every real man should be able to …
• Change a diaper so that the baby is clean and he is no dirtier than when he started.
• Cook one signature dish.
• Innocently flirt with a woman at least twice his age, without being disrespectful.
• Comfort a child when he/she is scared or hurting.
• Give a great compliment. Be specific, be sincere.
• Tell a joke that is clean and funny.
• Push-start a car with a manual transmission.
• Wash a load of white clothes without turning everything pink.
• Get a prostate exam without crying.
• Grow food. (Because when the zombie apocalypse happens, you’re going to be hungry.)

It’s amazing that this didn’t happen decades ago. McDonald’s is now looking into offering sweet potato fries. Before now, they were only available at McDonald’s in Australia. But the fast-food giant appears to be making moves to take the sweet potato magic worldwide. They’ve just started a trial of the new product in Texas, hoping that customers will give enough positive feedback to expand it to menus elsewhere. We could even pretend they’re healthier than regular fries, no? (It’s incredibly difficult to make your own as they always seems to turn out floppy instead of crisp. Any cooking tips out there? We’ve been told to soak the raw fries in warm water overnight to get rid of starch, then double-dip them when frying in oil.)

Parents are 4 times more likely to tell their daughters than their sons to be careful in the future following an accident.
– “New York Magazine”


1946 [69] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1947 [68] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US presidential candidate/Secretary of State 2009-13/US Senator (2001-08)/former First Lady (1992-2000)/Mrs Bill Clinton since 1975

1954 [61] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1967 [48] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, TV personality (“America Idol” since 2012)/country singer (“Raise ‘Em Up”, “Long Hot Summer”)/wed to actress Nicole Kidman since 2006

1973 [42] Seth McFarlane, Kent CT, TV show runner-writer-actor (“Family Guy” since 1999, “American Dad!” since 2005, “The Cleveland Show” since 2009)/2013 Academy Awards host

• “Mincemeat Day”. Odds are you either love it or you can’t stand the stuff. Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits, spices, and sometimes beef suet. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat; many modern recipes use vegetable shortening in its place.

• “Worldwide Howl At the Moon Night”, an annual pre-Halloween tradition. Owoooooo!

2002 [13] Pop singer Jessica Simpson weds boy-band singer Nick Lachey (leading to MTV show “Newlyweds” and more fame & money than either deserves)

1975 [40] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its co-developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)

1990 [25] 1st NHL hockey player to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)

[Tues] Full ‘Hunters’ Moon
[Tues] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Wed] Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Wed] Bring Your Jack-O-Lantern to Work Day
[Thurs] World Psoriasis Day
[Fri] “Our Brand is Crisis”; “Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Halloween

Disarmament Week / International Dyslexia Reading Week / International Magic Week / Kids Care Week / Lead Poisoning Prevention Week / Massage Therapy Week / Prescription Errors Education & Awareness Week / Respiratory Care Week / World Origami Days


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• AMNESIA . . . The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to do it again.
• FAMILY PLANNING . . . The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
• GRANDPARENTS . . . People who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
• HEARSAY . . . What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
• SHOWOFF . . . A child who is more talented than yours.
• TOP BUNK . . . Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
– First published in “BS” 2000.

Psychologists say Halloween is an occasion for people to either dress up as someone they like and want to emulate, or someone they hate and want to mock. According to a panel of experts, here’s what various costume types say about the wearer …
• Animals: May represent some real aspect of a person’s identity, or some admired animal characteristic. May be chosen as a symbol of one’s essential nature or potential.
• Comic/Cartoon Characters: Represents whimsy, playfulness and youth. Chosen by people who want to leave their serious nature behind for awhile.
• Evil Characters: These allow people to safely express their dark side without guilt. May be used to consciously or unconsciously alienate others, indicating vulnerability and anxiety about intimacy.
• Sexy Characters (French maid, slutty nurses, etc): Often someone expressing repressed sexuality. An opportunity for very reserved people to display their sensuality.
• Celebrities: Wearers may use them to express personality traits or social issues that are associated with the celebrity’s image (intelligence, power, corruption, rebellion, etc).
• Scary Characters (zombies, vampires, skeletons, monsters, etc): Shows a fascination with the macabre, the grotesque. Death has always been something we are afraid of, yet drawn to.
• Innocents (fairies , princesses, etc): Represents one’s lost innocence or beauty, or a desire to return to a safer and simpler time.
• Powerful Characters: These offer a fantasy of omnipotence. They can express underlying feelings of helplessness and insecurity.
– First published in “BS” 2004.

Saturday is Halloween. Or as Lady Gaga calls it, amateur night.

There are at least 6 different names used for the long sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on. Name 3 of them. [It’s known variously as a ‘sub’, ‘grinder’, ‘hoagie’, ‘hero’, ‘poor boy’ and ‘bomber’.]

☎ What underappreciated food item deserves its own fake holiday?

Question: 71% of women polled say that Monday is the worst day of the week to do THIS.
Answer: Go grocery shopping.

Success is not permanent, neither is failure.

PJ Pantaleo @ The Improv Factory, Kissimmee FL; Sinna-G @ 100.3 The Mix [KIMN] Denver CO; Sharon Stewart @ Megarock 100.5 [WJNG] Johnsonburg PA; and Summer Stevens @ Country’s Best 94.7 [KTTS] Springfield MO.

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