Thursday, October 27, 2016 – Edition: #5838

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Kim Kardashian has reportedly filmed some scenes for “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” this week as she attended husband Kanye West’s “Saint Pablo Tour” show at The Forum in Inglewood CA. Shooting on the E! TV series had been on hold to give her time to recover from her Paris burglary ordeal. However, a source says that as Kim attended Kanye’s gig she was seen being filmed alongside sister Kourtney and close friend Jonathan Cheban. The insider also notes that Kim was unusually dressed down for the outing, and was accompanied by at least 12 armed guards.
– “Entertainment Tonight”
★ Newlyweds Ciara & Russell Wilson have announced they’re expecting their first child together, the pop singer and Seattle Seahawks QB sharing the news via Instagram. The couple, who began dating in early 2015, got engaged in March and then tied the knot in an ostentatious ceremony at Peckforton Castle in Cheshire UK in July. They made it clear they were staying celibate until they got married — and then immediately bragged about humping like rabbits. Ciara already has a 2-year-old son, Future Zahir, from a previous relationship with rapper Future.
★ Jay Z has tried to snap up all the unreleased Prince music that was unearthed at Paisley Park after the singer’s death. The music mogul flew Prince’s sister, Tyka, and her husband, Maurice Phillips, to NYC to meet with him several weeks ago. Sources say he made an offer of around $40 million. Tyka may be Prince’s only full sibling, but she has to get sign-off from all her half-brothers and sisters, as well as the trust that is managing the estate. Word is that Jay is still in the running to get the overall deal for streaming rights, but it will be very expensive as there are some other major players in the game.
– Mail Online
★ And the Brad Pitt child abuse investigation has been expanded to the entire family, including Angelina, inside sources say. The Los Angeles County Department of Children & Family Services initially focused on the plane incident in which Brad allegedly struck 15-year-old Maddox. But word has it DCFS has now expanded its investigation to other alleged incidents, including interactions between Brad & Angelina which were allegedly witnessed by 1 or more of their 6 kids. We’re also told the meeting Brad had with Maddox last week ended quickly because Maddox didn’t want to be there.

• “Chelsea” (Netflix) – Norah Jones (“Day Breaks”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
• “Daily Show” (Comedy Central) – Jeezy (“Trap or Die 3”, out Friday).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Miley Cyrus (“The Voice”); Niall Horan (“This Town”).
• “The Great Indoors” (CBS) – Comedy debut about a veteran magazine reporter (Chris Williams) who moves to a desk-bound job as boss to a group of Millennial journalists.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Alessia Cara (“Know-It-All”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – DJ Shadow (“The Mountain Will Fall”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Pusha T (“King Push”); The Record Company (“Give It Back to You”).
• “Life in Pieces” (CBS) – Colin Hanks & Betsy Brandt return in the Season 2 premiere.
• “Mom” (CBS) – Season 4 premiere. Stars Anna Faris, Allison Janney.
• “Pure Genius” (CBS) – Series premiere about an experienced surgeon with a contentious past who is hired to run a state-of-the-art hospital. Stars Kelly Albanese, Keon Alexander.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Jeezy again.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Common (“Like Water for Chocolate”).
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Michael Bublé (“Nobody But Me”).

• Britney Spears – Today she’s mounting a stationary bike to raise money for the Nevada Childhood Cancer Foundation. It’s the inaugural “Britney Spears Piece of Me Charity Ride” in Las Vegas, where she is currently performing a residency. 25 fans who’ve paid ($10,000-$50,000) for the honor are joining her for the 45-minute indoor cycling workout.
• Cam – Tonight the 13-date/12-city “Burning House Tour”, her first as a headliner, begins in Chicago IL and runs until December 10th in Las Vegas NV.
• Kenny Chesney – After performing 160 shows in the last 18 months, he’s looking forward to taking some time off next year. His “Big Revival Tour” and “Spread the Love Tour” basically ran back-to-back. Chesney releases his next album, “Cosmic Hallelujah”, tomorrow.
• Lady Gaga – She’s just signed on to perform on the “2016 American Music Awards” November 20th on ABC-TV.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Captain Marvel” – Marvel Studios says this will be the strongest character it’s ever put onscreen … and it’s a woman. Oscar-winning actress Brie Larson (“Room”) is set to star as cosmically powered ‘Carol Danvers’, a former military pilot whose DNA was fused with that of the ‘Kree’ alien race, giving her superpowers. The film is scheduled for release in March 2019.
• “Escobar” – Javier Bardem plays infamous Medellin Cartel leader Pablo Escobar and real-life wife Penelope Cruz has been cast as Virginia Vallejo, the journalist who romanced Escobar in the 1980s. Peter Sarsgaard co-stars as the DEA official tasked with bringing down the Colombian crime boss. Production is set to begin next month, ahead of a 2017 release.
• “The Man Who Invented Rock ‘n Roll” – Leonardo DiCaprio is onboard to star in and produce a biopic about Sam Phillips, the founder of Sun Records who discovered Elvis Presley. The pic is based on Peter Guralnick’s 2015 biography which chronicles how the DJ-turned-producer fused the sounds of blues with country music. No writer or director has yet been named.
• “Mortal Engines” – Filmmaker Peter Jackson is adapting the sci-fi fantasy novel by Philip Reeve; his longtime collaborator Christian Rivers is set to make his directorial debut with the project. The book is set in a post-apocalyptic world, where cities including London are run on engines. It’s part of a series of 4 novels. Production is set to begin in New Zealand next year.
• “Zelda” – Jennifer Lawrence is attached to star in this biopic about Zelda Fitzgerald, the oft-troubled wife of famed early 20th century author F Scott Fitzgerald (“The Great Gatsby”). Ron Howard is developing the project and may potentially direct. There’s no word as yet on who might play F Scott Fitzgerald opposite J-Law.

Women have almost achieved equality with men … when it comes to drinking. Looking back on the imbibing habits of more than 4 million people globally over the last 100 years or so, Aussie researchers at the University of New South Wales have found that women have closed the drinking gap with men, partly due to marketing efforts and products geared toward young women. The study calls the phenomenon ‘sex convergence’, and points to a bunch of cultural and economic reasons for the shift, including cheap wine and beer being readily accessible, and more women working outside of the home and participating in workplace drinking events. Researchers warn that the results show that we need to be thinking about what will happen to women’s health as they get older. (Which libations are definitely ‘girl drinks’?)
– “New York Times”

✗ Worrying about eating 5 portions of fruit & vegetables per day. In Denmark, it’s 6. In Australia, it’s 7. In 2014, campaigners tried upping it to 10. Just eat some vegetables and be done with it.
✗ Taking vitamin C supplements. If you feel a cold coming on, it’s pointless to reach for the vitamin C tablets. Study after study has concluded that it won’t do anything.
✗ Washing your jeans. The CEO of Levi’s has advised that washing them makes them look bad. Instead, rub off stains with a toothbrush, then leave them to air outside.
✗ Having a landline phone. No one calls your landline. You never call anyone’s landline. No one will have a landline at all 10 years from now.
✗ Drinking precisely 8 glasses of water a day. That figure was conjured up 70 years ago, and it doesn’t take into consideration your age, your height, your weight, or your activity level.
✗ Still using words? Please. Emoji is now the fastest-growing language in history, thanks to its ability to bypass international barriers.
✗ Discarding out-of-date food. Unless it smells terrible or is covered in mold, you’re probably fine.
✗ Playing the lottery. You’re far more likely to be struck by lightning – twice – than to win. Just give up and accept your miserable fate.
✗ Stretching before exercise. It’s unlikely to improve performance or minimize injury. All it does is make you look like a bendy, Lycra goof.
✗ Standing in line at the airport departure gate. You have a ticket with a designated seat and airplanes are uncomfortable. It won’t take off without you. Calm down.
– Condensed from “The Guardian”

Word has it a thinner MacBook Pro and an update to the iMac will be unveiled at today’s glitzy Apple Media Event being held at the company’s Cupertino CA campus. The only official hint at what’s to come is this: “Hello again.” But Apple is expected to announce a long-awaited refresh to its Mac line of desktop computers and laptops. In August, Bloomberg News reported that a MacBook Pro with a secondary touchpad at the top of the keyboard, a more powerful iMac, and a MacBook Air with USB-C could be announced. No word on whether a new Mac mini or Mac Pro are in the pipeline. (It’s safe to say that if you’re thinking about buying a new Mac, hold off until after today’s news.)
– “BuzzFeed News”

This week 29-year-old Nebraska-based ultrarunner Pete Kostelnick has completed a 3,100-mile from San Francisco CA to NYC in just 42 days, 6 hours, and 34 minutes. That’s an average pace of 73 miles-per-day, and beats the previous record by 4 full days. He burned through 8 pairs of shoes running 15 hours-per-day starting at 3:30 am, with two 15-minute breaks.
– “New York Post”

• Greek Christianity has been credited by many as the origin of the vampire belief.
• In Diesdorf, Germany it is believed that if money is not placed in the mouth of a dead man at burial, he will become a vampire and his ghost will rise from the grave in the form of a pig.
• In ancient times baths of human blood were prescribed as a remedy for leprosy.
• In addition to the wooden stake through the heart of a vampire, another preventive measure is to break the neck of the dead body.
– “The Book of Vampires”


1939 [77] John Cleese, Weston-super-Mare UK, TV actor-comedian (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”)/movie actor (2 ‘James Bond’ films, 2 ‘Harry Potter’ films, 3 ‘Shrek’ films)

1949 [67] Garry Tallent, Detroit MI, rock bassist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band-“Born to Run”, “Born In the USA”)

1958 [58] Simon LeBon, Bushey UK, classic rock singer (Duran Duran-“Hungry Like the Wolf”, “The Reflex”)

1984 [32] Kelly Osbourne, London UK, TV personality (“Project Runway Junior” 2015, “Fashion Police” 2010-15)/daughter of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne

1993 [23] Troy Gentile, Boca Raton FL, TV actor (‘Barry Goldberg’ on “The Goldbergs” since 2013)

• “Black Cat Appreciation Day” in the UK, to celebrate the virtues of black cats and encourage people to adopt what is typically an unwanted color for a pet.

• “Boxer Shorts Day”, a salute to their invention on this date in 1901.

• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are!

• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery.

• “Potato Day”, one of several annual ‘food holidays’ honoring the humble spud. This root vegetable became one of the New World’s most important discoveries. What’s the best way to cook ’em? Fries? Mashed? Baked? Au Gratin w/Gruyere & Creme Fraiche?

• “World Day for Audiovisual Heritage”, originated in 2005 by UNESCO to raise of awareness of the importance of preserving recorded sound and audiovisual documents (films, sound & video recordings, radio & TV programs) for posterity.

2014 [02] “The Last Ship”, Sting’s musical about shipbuilding in north-east England, opens on Broadway at the Neil Simon Theatre

2009 [04] Country singer Brantley Gilbert releases his debut album, “Modern Day Prodigal Son”

2013 [03] Influential singer-songwriter-guitarist Lou Reed (Velvet Underground, Metal Machine Trio) dies from liver disease at his home in Southampton NY at age 71

2004 [12] MLB’s Boston Red Sox win their 1st World Series championship since 1918, finally vanquishing the so-called ‘Curse Of the Bambino’ (Babe Ruth) that had plagued them 86 years

2014 [02] Walmart apologizes for labelling women’s plus-sized Halloween outfits ‘Fat Girl Costumes’ on its website (and sends individual apologies to offended customers on Twitter)

2002 [14] Dallas Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith becomes NFL’s all-time rushing leader, surpassing the former mark of 16,726 yds held by Walter Payton (Smith ends career in 2004 with 18,355)

[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Fri] Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Sat] World Psoriasis Day
[Sun] Checklist Day
[Sun] International Bandanna Day
[Mon] UNICEF Day
This Week Is … Asexuality Week
This Month Is … Substance Abuse Prevention Month


✓ Undertaker – Wear dark suit, white shirt, dark tie. Speak in modulated tones.
✓ Donald Trump – Train a red squirrel to play dead on your head. Pout.
✓ Undercover Cop – Dress as usual, only more so. Act as usual, only more so. Swagger.
✓ Prince – Locate grave of Prince, dig up remains, attach them to self with duct tape. Behave as you imagine Prince might.
✓ Unicorn – Dress as you usually would. Inform people that you are dressed as a unicorn. When they point out that you look nothing like a unicorn, tell them that unicorns don’t exist, and to stop being such babies.
✓ Road Kill – Park your Jeep. Lie down on the driveway behind it.
✓ Amputee – Drink an entire bottle of whiskey. With a sharp, clean knife, remove one or more limbs. Cauterize wound(s).
✓ Newborn Baby – Shave off all body hair, cover self in amniotic fluid. Arrange to be carried around by ankles. Mingle.
✓ Naked Hillary Clinton – Buy a pant suit. Take it off.
✓ Farting Clown – Act as you usually would, only with scary clown makeup.
– Thanks to Tim Carvell

Sex alone is not enough to build a relationship, but with two people …

Question: About 1-in-5 people will have done THIS by next Tuesday.
Answer: Gone to a ‘haunted house’.

It takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

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